June 15: Worked on structure today.
The ACE of SWORDS was the first cut I made in the picture, ( you'll understand when it's finished.)
JUNE 16th: FIVE of WANDS for today, looks like a day of hassles and irratations, perhaps even a challenge. Great..................
JUNE 17th: Started out feeling quite negative, nothing went right, .but by late afternoon the cloud lifted and it started to flow again......I am not good to be around when 'the mood' sets in........the down side to perfectionism.
SUNDAY JUNE 18th: No painting today. ( hey even God had a day off! )
MONDAY 19th: A cool, sunny day...Drew THE KING OF SWORDS haven't seen him for a while, but he has a close connection with this painting. Wonder what it means.................will he make an appearance?
TUESDAY 20th: Walked to the top of the hill  early this morning with the dog. Headed towards the moon  shining in the Southeast, got to the top of the hill just as the Sun hit it. Held THE MOON in my left hand and THE SUN in my right...........a very uplifting and magical moment........the balance, the coyote and the cougar, the duality of who I am. The wonder of it too is that both the sun and the moon appear in the  painting I am working on.......guess I had to experience it live to remember the feeling that comes with the event......when I arrived home I withdrew THE LOVERS...PERFECT for this moment. A day of opposites brought together.
WEDNESDAY 21st: Will continue with the energy of The Lovers, as it is a major Arcana card. If you look at the way form is expressed in the 2 dimensional world it is by using light and shadow. The skill of the Realist Artist is to bring the two together to create depth.
22nd June:The good news is that the shortest day is here, more daylight to paint by. 
Mother Earth is starting to tilt back to give us down here more sunshine.
23rd: Awoke to a heavy white frost but the sky is clear and the sun streams down..........
Feeling a little heavy hearted but that will pass, it always does. Was lifted by the MAGICIAN card for today, another Major Arcana card. The primal forces of creativity are mine if  I just tap into the Universal energy around me.......doing that already I thought,
How much more can one crazy artist handle?
I think it means I am on course.......but that I have to control the distractions that are eating into my painting time........if I don't the flow could get lost.
MONDAY 26th: The weekend has been and gone with yet more distractions. But I managed to get some work done. I am feeling happy about where the painting is going. There is so much to work with....colour, light, subject, balance......Today I have to travel for an hour to get some more paints.....will stay with the Magician for a while, need his influence until I am flowing freely again................
Tuesday 27th: 2+7=9 A good day for me. The paint is almost flowing by itself, I am merely the conduit for the energy that is expressing itself. I enjoyed putting on red this morning, the colour of passion, earth/fire and blood. I have just started using red in my paintings, it was a colour I was a little afraid of...because of it's power. The card for today is the Eight  of Swords, a very interesting card that I will take my time to interpret fully...basically it means leaving a place of security and feeling trapped in a prison of swords. The challenge is to find my way out..............Using my own power and creativity to get myself out of a corner? I paint myself into corners all the time.....I enjoy the challenge of escaping. Maybe that's why the red feels good today.
LATER: Spent the whole day painting then wiped it all. Not happy with what I had done.........the King of Swords is proving to be a shiftier character than his status implies.I was wrong about it being a good day, .......or was I?
Wed. 28th: A good day. Pulled out 8 of Swords REVERSED, amazing stuff! I found my way out of the corner.  The problem was that I was letting the male subject in the painting be in charge and was finding it difficult to pin him down, couldn't quite get the picture of him, he was being illusive...........the answer was easy, I am in control, he is what I decide to make him. So I have given him an aura of illusion because that is what he has and is. But the bottom line is that he is in my hands, not the other way around.
Thursday 29: No painting done. The Three of Swords presented itself so I decided to stay loose. Keep out of my own way so to speak. Drank some wine and tried to avoid thought and feeling.
Friday 30: 3+0 =3 A good number in my world. But once again it's into town to hang about at the centre. Withdrew Nine of Wands. An interesting card. Battle weary but hanging in there through force of will...........keep going no matter what, ( second message of that sort today. ) The thing is that there is no other choice, I have to keep going, giving up means losing the battle. I will not give up ground so dearly paid for.
Sunday 2nd JULY: Yesterday I spent a coupple of hours painting, but had worked up to it in as casual a manner as I could muster.......then strolled in and voila! it came together. It was only a small part I was working on but it wasn't feeling right and I couldn't move onwards until I had mastered it........there will be a lot of times like that as I start to put in detail. My eyes scrutinise but my soul decides. The STRENGTH card appeared this morning. Today I feel in control and plan to paint and paint and paint...........
Monday 3rd. Yesterday was my best day yet, painted from 10am to 4pm. With no break. Now and then the anger and frustration would stir, so I hooked mentally back into the Strength card message and took control again.
Today the weather is atrocious, Cold,wet and dark. I've got other commitments  so may not get alot of painting done.
Wednesday 5th:  The painting is flowing well. I am feeling quite excited about it. I know there will be more canyons to cross but right now it is easy terrain. Pulled out the THREE of PENTACLES to reflect this...........I seem to be ahead of the cards right now which is a good sign too. The weather down here at the bottom of the world, or top, depending on your view, is still unfriendly. Good weather to stay indoors and paint.
SATURDAY 8th: Just to prove it's not a giant hoax ( some people think I am hiding away at home twiddling my toes )I have added two photos to this site.
The first one is of me at work.....and the second is a little peek at one corner of the painting thus far............Enter my INNER SANCTUM to get a glimpse........
INNER SANCTUM
SUNDAY 9th: 9+7+2=18=1+8=9 The FOUR of WANDS indicates that I have cut free of restrictive bonds and have let go of limitations...........too true. The artist is free. I am feeling exhilarated.
FRIDAY 14th: Didn't realize it had been so long since I logged in. The week has been productive but had it's ups and downs. We have had three heavy frosts in a row and the dog has given birth to her pups under the house. The painting has started to vibrate, I am feeling good about it's direction.. My perfectionism means I can spend a lot of time getting something absolutly right or I can't move on from where I am working. Wish I was an abstract artist at times. A few lifestyle decisions have been made in the past week.....decisions that will affect my creativity.......the main one being that we have decided to go to live in the city for a break and breathe new life into ourselves. Need the stimulation that city-life brings......So we have chosen Wellington as it has a good feel to it and is quite an Arts and Culture centre. Have had enough of the quiet rural life.......Will keep this place though when we need to retreat, so in effect we will have the best of both worlds. I am looking forward to getting lost in the world of strangers. Although,  New Zealand's population being only 3.5 million and with a third of them living in Auckland, it is very easy to bump into someone you know or know of. A very difficult country to hide in.
I am feeling lousy today, have a touch of a Winter lergy, sore chest, throat etc.........would rather go back to bed but can't, got things to do, places to go. The Three of Swords has appeared again...bugger! Basically this card is about emotional pain, separation, discovering a painful truth, betrayal, something is amiss that I am unaware of or not prepared to face.......all those lovely things, perhaps I SHOULD go back to bed..............Ah who cares, let it come......It appears that today is going to be a day that will look better as yesterday..............
Saturday: Went through another photo-shoot. Local Osteopath/Actor Kim posed for me, while his amused wife Karen muffled her laughter at his antics.
MONDAY 17th: Can't paint, or think........too ill. Frustrated and full of self pity...
BUT.......I'll be back.
THURSDAY 20th.......Stil ill, but getting better. My head feels as though it is inside a compressed bail of cottonwool, can hardly hear a thing. Have spent the last few days reading while I recover. Lying in bed with Carl Jung.......while Mark plays nurse. cook and dragon-slayer.. I am sure I would have starved to death if I had been on my own. Perhaps by tomorrow I will feel well enough to paint......I hope so.
Sunday 23rd : Have been working solidly and having a great time. It is coming together well. I feel free of all constraints now.........am liberated.....I am sure my illness served a purpose. I have been unable to get into my site due to computer problems....lots of weird things happening at yahoo.  Yesterday I drew The Chariot, a major Arcana card that I shall take time to explain tomorrow.....the basic message is one of gaining control.....see? the cards work well for me, or is that " with me "?      THE CHARIOT
TUESDAY 25th: There is magic happening. I have broken through barriers......I remember this feeling from other paintings, it is a kind of breathlessness........allowing the full Artist energy to come through. The Hermit has won the battle he is now in charge of the castle. It means that outside influences have no power over the inner. Great stuff! !!!!  I have placed the Empress on a shelf to use whenever I need her. But I don't think it will be for some time, if ever. Yesterday I walked into my studio and was sure I had caught a glimpse of someone standing before the painting.....or was that me catching up with myself?  There is no rush, no grasping, I am calm and sure and glad to be back.
Monday 31st: Haven't clocked in for a while because I have been immersed in you know what.....it's more like a playground now, one I have all to myself.  There is only one figure left to form. As importrant a part as the rest but the bulk has been done and I can see  the end of production getting closer. I still refuse to rush. I have discovered that if I force it I tap into the wrong energy and I only end up going over again.  All going well, a couple of weeks and we can celebrate....
Sunday 13th August: I am nearing the end....there have been one or two little hiccups, mainly with me fussing and changing things, but all going well a few more ( 3-5 ) days will see it done.....I am almost ready for the next one now. Which is  a good sign....but I have to finish this one first.....My hermit status is also something I am having to adjust to...some days are easier than others. Being an artist is a lone road to travel............
Friday  18th: 1 + 8 = 9 A truely magical combination.........it seems   :)
The news so far.....just fiddling about now.....finishing off, tying up loose ends....glad to see the back of it actually.
The "seed' for the next painting has been planted. I realise I said I was doing a self portrait but that is what, in a way, this last one has been...in fact, all of them are self portraits. As will be the next one.
Magic happens continuously, it's us who decide which moments we treasure and which ones we let just drift by.......that is the power we have over our own lives. Magic takes an infinite number of guises and can often be subtle and unassuming.....
that magic is the most difficult to recognise.......specially if we allow our egos to only reply to the loud and aggressive moments.  I have emerged from a dark dangerous pool to the safety of a quiet 'glade', and I am learning just as much here as in the former. We never know what is around the corner......I seem to have found a mirror that reflects another side of me...........
MONDAY 21st AUGUST 2000............The painting is finished......
How do I feel?
Wiped out.
A little apprehensive........you lot get to look at it now.
A little sad..........the end of a relationship....between me and my creation.
Relieved......that I stayed with it.

I have taken the photographs of it, they have yet to be processed. As soon as that is done I will put them on a new page.......two days max.
Visit the 'baby' at GALLERY 6
Home Gallery Gallery 2 Gallery 3 Gallery 4 Gallery 5
Dragon Bone Cafe
Gallery 7 INNER SANCTUM Nursery