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BLONDES

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They've never met.

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

Q: What's a blonde's favourite w(h)ine?
A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: Because they can spell it.


Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

 

 

 

 

Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits Go In Front.

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?
A: Data transfer.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"


Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A: A w(h)ine cellar.

Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A: They're doing research on black holes.

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".

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Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.

Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she'd given her last blowjob.

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?
A: One's a busy ditch.

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley?
A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.

A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said
"DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "Oh well !" and turned
around and drove home.

On her way home the same blonde drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8
MILES". By the time she drove the eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, "Is it
true that if you pull you finger out, I'll sink?"

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the
field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes
like that that give us a bad name!" To this the other blonde replied "I know it, and if I knew how to
swim I'd go out there and drown her."

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet?
A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

Q: What's the disease that paralyses blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell when a fax has been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

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Q: What's the difference between a pit bull terrier and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.

Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.

Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.

Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.

Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: 'Divorcee'

Q. What is a Polish vibrator????
A. A mop handle and six relatives shaking the bed!!!

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