"All problems are all the same essentially, they're just packaged differently the older that you get." [when asked best pickup line]"Uhh... do you wanna have sex and get married.... sorry." "I dreamed I pissed in my suitcase one time, I woke up in the morning and I had urine in my suitcase. That's what happens when you go to Ireland.... and 12 pintes of guiness later." "Yeah I mean lose the big shoes and the shorts and the hurley t-shirts and it's like, look like a fucken man for once, yano." "Are you canadian? Oh, okay, 'cause you're sure as hell acting like one right now." "Minority is about being an individual. It's like you have to sift through the darkness to find your place and be that individual you want to be your entire life." "You think your life is tough? Try being a parent!" "I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot." "There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it." "It's fun until someone gets hurt...then it's halarious." "Punk rock is dead...and I fucking killed it." "I fucking hate Lynyrd Skynyrd, I've always hated Lynyrd Skynyrd. Fuckin' backwards ass hillbilly shit." "Adrienne is the only woman I will ever love." "I sound like an Englishman impersonating an American impersonating an Englishman." "All saints are gonna be there? Tre, you might get laid!" "B-I-L-L-I-E J-O-E. My real name is Billie Joe. And it's southern, my moms from Oklahoma and that's how I got the name." "Just about 99% of the population masturbates while the other 1%, lie about it." "I got body lice in Gremany! I'd tell you they were crabs, but I wasn't getting laid." [About Slipknow] "They sound like Tré choking on a hair ball." "Well, you know, I look at myself in the morning and yes, yeah I-I am a God." "I'm not as depressed as I used to be. The Prozac's working!" "This song's off our album. It's called Kerplunk. It's kind of in line with the shit thing, ya know, it's like you take a dookie and it kerplunks in the toilet." "I'm still wearing the pants I had in the eleventh grade." "Ah, if someone falls down, please pick him back up cuz it doesn't mean that there's a fuckin' camera in your face that you don't have to lookout for each other." "Yeah fuck me! I wish all of you could fuck me! "I actually have less friends now than I ever had." [At a foreign concert] "What? You can heckle me if you want, it's okay I won't understand!" "I hate celebrities. I really hate them." All material copyright of ©Green Day Underground.