The problem with the horror genre, well, ONE of the problems with the horror genre, is the lack of werewolf movies. People who love lycanthropes get screwed over in the cinematic department anymore, bogged down with crap like WEREWOLF, BAD MOON, AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS and nauseating HOWLING sequels. Sure, there are some occasional werewolf flicks that break this trend, THE COMPANY OF WOLVES and the original THE HOWLINGHOWLING come to mind, but there just isn't the market for wolf flicks as there was long ago in the Universal days. Why is this? Well, the big problem could be that current filmmakers lack the confidence that their product will live up to the rare high standards set by THE HOWLING or AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON. The ground breaking transformation FX for both films could be the big factor, since even with today's advancements it seems the only thing to do for more realism is lame-ass CGI. I know I sound like I'm going on a tangent and making no logical point what-so-ever, so allow me to get to the point... and not the one in my pants. Ok, look at it like this: you're a poor, starving, would-be independent horror filmmaker. You've got nothing to your name of any value and you live in your parents' basement, but in your heart you want to make a horror movie and try to impress girls with it. Your only source of income are unemployment checks and student loans, which you take out so you can waste your days at a community college until you make that one movie that will be your breakthrough, your catapult into the world of real movies, your own EVIL DEAD.

What options do you have? Vampires, werewolves, zombies, demons, slashers, ghosts, killer robots or alien invaders. Well, let's say you're not good at raising money and are forced to stop eating and ask for a little more on your student loans, maybe injure yourself and use the insurance money. Killer robots and alien invaders cost the most, pretty much any film involving technology is out of the independent director's price range. Ghost movies can be done, but unless you can find someone with the computer tools necessary to integrate a few CGI phantoms, all you're gonna have are kitchen utensils dangling from fishing line. Werewolves and demons are out because they require elaborate costumes, and if they don't look real enough your film will be an instant flop and you'll never be taken seriously again. Ok, we've narrowed it down to vampires, zombies or slashers. Zombies can be done on a low budget, but again, the make-up is going to cost you, and since you're stomach has turned in on itself and began cannibalizing you, it looks like you're gonna need food, so there goes the money for zombie make-up and fake teeth.

So, in the end, you're stuck with vampires or slashers. Either one will cost about the same, whether you're buying fake teeth for a vamp or some kind of bad Halloween costume for your slasher to wear, you're basically gonna fork over the same amount of cash. As far as other elements, like story, action and sex scenes, you can go with whatever you think works best. Since choreography and good writing are hard to come by, I suggest getting a bunch of chicks drunk, locking them in a room with drugs and vibrators and just film away. It's not hard to write a scene like that into a film, but if it's hardcore enough you won't even have to worry about writing, a scene like that sells itself! So children, if you're ever strolling through Blockbuster and wonder why there are so many damn slasher and vampire films on the walls and not nearly as many lycanthrope flicks, now you know... and I've burned up far too much internet space and have yet to start reviewing the movie... Sometimes I think I type just to see myself talk...

Anyway, from the frigid wastelands of the great northwest territories of Canadia (no, that's not a typo, as the few lucky people who know me will tell you I prefer to call Canada "Canadia", for reasons all my own... or that don't exist what so ever) comes this little diamond in the rough known as GINGER SNAPS. The best fucking movie I've seen on "New Release" video shelves in a LONG time, it gives us a new twist on the werewolf mythologies and gears it toward the female audiences with it's comparison of lycanthropy to puberty and the monthly terror. Like the tagline says, "They don't call it 'the Curse' for nothing"! I know a lot of the male readers who see this probably think, "Oh man Anubis, you're recommending chick flicks to us now?! What's wrong? Did your woman finally cut off your balls and put them in a jar of pickle juice?", but read my review first before throwing accusations of dismembered genitalia around. Besides, you could put an eye out! Though I'm far from being a teenage girl, you don't need to bleed between your legs every 28 days to like werewolf flicks, and GINGER SNAPS is an excellent werewolf flick! Granted the special FX aren't perfect, we're not dealing with Rick Baker here, but for a made-for-TV movie from Canada, I can look past the mediocre monster FX and focus on the story. Speaking of the story, I should probably get to that part before I bore MYSELF to death!

Ginger and Brigitte Fitzgerald are two sisters trapped in the suburban purgatory of Bailey Downs. They're rather twisted sisters at that (minus Dee "Captain Howdy" Snider of course), making a slide show of their own fake demises for a school project, impaled on a picket fence, munched by a lawn mower, slashed throat, etc. Of course, being weirdos like they are, the girls are typical scholastic outcasts, targets of the preppy trash and homey losers and forced to entertain themselves by making up humorous obituaries for some of the truly stuck up classmates, which just leads to gym class confrontations on the field hockey field. Oddly enough, it seems the girls are both several years late becoming women too. Ginger's 16 and Brigitte's 15, yet neither have hit puberty yet... which is all about to change. After suffering lower back pain and annoying cramping in recent days, Ginger finally gets "the Curse", and I'm not talking about that terrible H.P. Lovecraft flick with that guy from "the Dukes of Hazzard" either, I'm referring to the crimson splash trickling down her inner thigh. It comes at a seriously inopportune time too, as the sisters are right in the middle of playing a sick prank on Catrina, the preppy she-bane of their anti-social existences. Just as it happens, they also stumble across a mutilated doggie, yet another victim of the Beast of Bailey Downs: an unidentified creature (or person) that's been responsible for a whole string of slain pooches in the area as of late. And the girls are about to meet the Beast...

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ginger's attacked and dragged into a nearby clump of trees, leaving Brigitte to sit and panic while her sister and the only person she cares about in the world is mauled and tossed about like a chew toy! Clubbing the beast (a werewolf, in case you couldn't amass enough brain cells to guess on your own) with her Polaroid, Brigitte distracts the creature long enough to help her badly wounded and bleeding sister run from the scene and into a deserted street. The wolf follows, only to become road kill thanx to a speeding van... fuck silver bullets, a steel automobile seems to work just as well! Leaving the driver to try and figure out what the fuck he just splattered over the interstate, Brigitte takes Ginger home, frantically screaming for help from her parents, who are out at a marriage counselor. When Brigitte brings up the option of calling an ambulance, Ginger refuses, noting that the bleeding has stopped... because the wounds are already starting to heal!? I think we all know what's coming, don't we? So, against her better judgment, Brigitte drops the ambulance idea and tends to her sister's wounds herself. Following the attack, the pain Ginger goes through she blames on her puberty, it's "just cramps". Her new changes are opening up Ginger to the land of males too, as she starts getting hit by massive cravings for what she thinks is kinky sex, whoring herself to a dork at school who thinks they should "hook up"... I hate people who say that. If I hear that, I like to "hook them up"... with my collection of slaughterhouse meathooks dangling from my bedroom ceiling! Ha! What a fantastic spinner of puns I am!

Meanwhile, Ginger's change of attitude, as well as her constant need to shave her legs, the growth spurt her canines seem to be going through, the sudden dislike in her the remaining neighborhood dogs seem to have and the fucking tail beginning to sprout from the top of her ass (!!!) prompts Brigitte to seek help for her sister-in-denial from someone who might know a little more about the topic of lycanthropy than she does. That person turns out to be Sam, the Bailey Downs resident drug connection, landscaper, botanist and the guy who ran down the other wolfy with his van of righteousness. When Sam finds the Polaroid snapshot Brigitte got when cracking her camera over the beast's skull, he confronts her about what exactly she knows about werewolves. Not wanting to rat out her sister's predicament, Brigitte seeks Sam's help under the pretext that SHE was the one attacked. Having a knowledge of popular werewolf myths, as well as possible treatments (such as pure silver jewelry having the ability to heal infected piercings and maybe, just maybe, even lycanthropy), Sam is definitely the best choice for the job... besides, maybe it'll be Brigitte's turn to drop her cherry next! Eh, probably not, I think she's a complete introvert and fears men as a whole, which brings up Freudian questions that don't need to be discussed here. When Ginger returns home one night, following the loss of her virginity and the devouring of her dog, she heads straight for the toilet and starts barfing up blood. Turns out the hunger in her stomach wasn't lust, it was just the desire to kill and maim... yeah, "just".

The first attempt to cure Ginger is a silver ring through her navel, in the hopes that the silver will purify her blood and clean her up. Somehow I doubt this would work, not only because we've still got half a movie at this point, but because I don't see how one little silver trinket in a minor junction like her bellybutton is going to clear her entire system. Now that she's no longer centered on herself anymore, Ginger also notices that Brigitte's been hanging around Sam and going to him for help. Being the big sister (by about 13 months), Ginger feels obligated to "protect" her sister, throwing a fit because she thinks Sam's some kind of date rapist who prays on 15 year olds such as Brigitte. She's also not happy that her sister would go to an outsider for answers to their problems. However, being the defender of her downtrodden sibling, Ginger still sticks up for her in gym class when Catrina the preppy bitch (who's fun to laugh at every time she thinks that Sam's her boyfriend instead of just the one night stand he used her for) attacks Brigitte during field hockey, jealous that Sam seems to be giving her the attention that Cat wishes was hers. Body checking Brigitte gets her a beat down, when Ginger tackles her and proceeds to beat her fake nose in! Wahoo! Cat fight! Meanwhile, the guy who broke Ginger's factory seal gloats to his friends about his rough and tumble night with the sultry Fitzgerald sister, only to be cut short when it looks like his penis has sprung a leak... of the crimson kind... pardon me as I cringe in terror.... uggh. Yes, it look like lycanthropy is an STD, which means Bailey Downs's beast population is threatening to boom.

As for the Fitzgerald home life, their comfortably numb ex-hippy mom Pam thinks that everything's fine, working under the illusion that her girls are just becoming women and they'll work everything out on their own. As for dad, well, speaking as a man I can understand that he prefers to stay as far away from the topic of female puberty and "the Curse" as possible. So, while Ginger and Brigitte are trying to keep her from becoming a savage killing machine of fur and teeth, the parents are living out their own meager lives like nothing's wrong. Despite getting her ass beat, Catrina doesn't know when she's completely out-classed, as she storms over to the Fitz house to both bitch at Brigitte for "stealing" Sam from her and to Ginger for kidnapping her pet Rottweiler. Ginger decides to have a little fun and overpowers the bitch, slapping her around and humiliating her while she toys with the idea of killing her. Thanx to her weak stomach though, Cat gets free of Ginger's oppressive grasp and manages to grab a butcher knife to defend herself. Catrina still takes a fall though, slipping on some split lactose and cracking her hollow head on the kitchen counter, killing her instantly... there may be no crying over spilled milk, but dying painfully is another subject... After burying the body in their old clubhouse, the girls decide to lay low for a while, keeping Ginger away from school and Pam for a while before the girls runaway someplace to make a new life for themselves on their own.

To help keep up the illusion, Brigitte must continue to go to school, where she's confronted by Ginger's first timer. Not at all happy about his latest mutations (including facial scabs, oversized fangs, an urge to kill his dog and another of those fucking tails... and though I'd like to, let's not forget his bleeding shlong), he pushes Brigitte into a closet and tries to find our what the fuck's happening to him. Before he can hurt her though, the kindly and COMPLETELY oblivious old Asian janitor guy walks in and interrupts. The sisters' little ruse is soon uncovered though, when the school calls Pam and asks about how her illness is coming along. Brigitte makes the save though and tells her it's a personal problem and that they'd rather she not got involved because they think it's "cool" that she let's them working things out on your own. I know it's one of the hardest things to do in the world kids, but if you want your parents to get off your back instantly, swallow all sense of pride you can grasp and tell them they're cool. As for Sam, his next possible solution relies on his botanistic knowledge. Popular werewolf myth says that the Wolfsbane flower can help with lycanthropy, however Sam suggests a cousin of Wolfsbane, a far more common and less dangerous plant known as Monk's Hood, which promotes the body's natural healing properties and serves as a detoxicating agent. Of course, Monk's Hood would have to be a perennial, and since it's October there's little chance in finding any... until Brigitte happens to notice that Pam has some she picked up at the local craft store! We may have a happy ending after all.

Locking Ginger in their bathroom the next morning, Brigitte heads to Sam with the plant. He suggests the best and fastest way would probably have to be intravenously, i.e. in a syringe, so they boil the flower and turn it into Monk's Hood juice (fresh from concentrate!). Sam has figured out that the concoction is for Ginger and gives it to Brigitte, telling her that the stuff could probably kill her if it doesn't heal her and that she should be there for her when she does it. When Brigitte returns home she discovers that her ingenious plan of propping a plank against the bathroom door to keep Ginger in has failed, finding the splintered remains of the door and trails of blood all over the place. Heading to school to find her, she finds wolf boy attacking a little kid and stops him by sticking him with the antidote. After he shakes it off, the guy appears to be back to his usual clueless self and wanders off with a big syringe sticking out of his neck... By the time Brigitte makes it to the school, she gets a call to the guidance office, where Ginger has already slaughtered the counselor. Damn it, you can't leave her alone for 2 minutes! While Brigitte searches out something to clean the mess up with, Ginger's discovered by the Asian janitor... and therefore must kill him. Brigitte comes back and goes into hysterics when she finds out Ginger's been busy again, but assure her sister that there's a cure and everything's going to be okay. Ging has grown to enjoy being a psycho killer dog bitch though, and doesn't want to return to her mediocre, boring existence. Actually, she wants Brigitte to join her...

Brigitte declines and Ginger leaves, heading for Sam's greenhouse Halloween party to wax Brigitte's little crush to help convince her to join her pack. Or, perhaps she intends to infect Sam instead, to the same effect. Either way I think she plans to get Brigitte to join her. Back at the house, mom's found Cat's body (though how she though to dig in the clubhouse is a mystery to me) and picks up Brigitte in the mini-van. Still completely oblivious to the whole werewolf thing, Pam figures her daughters are just killers (there's that "just" thing again) and plans a little "mother and daughters only" fraud. When they get home tonight they'll pack up their stuff. Tomorrow morning they'll turn on the gas to the stove and fill the house, blowing it up and going on the lamb, leaving dad alone... probably the thing he'd like most right now! See what happens when you tell your mom something she does is cool? She starts planning out everything for you, including your illegal activities! Why? Well, if you think one thing she does is cool, then obviously you'll think EVERYTHING she does is cool, which will make you like her more and give her the "coolness" she so desperately longs to rekindle and cling to, because her life as a housewife is so pathetic! Every Get-Out-Of-Jail-Free-Card has it's disadvantages kids. If you tell your parents they're cool to get out of something, you're likely going to pay for it later... ain't Karma a bitch? Buddha's still the best guy to have at parties though. You should see the crazy drug dance he does after he downs a few hits of Ambrosia! Jim Belushi's got nothing on him, heh heh.

At the party, Ginger finds Sam splitting up the marijuana supply and attempts to seduce him, though her bestially advanced form doesn't look all that appealing if you ask me. Call me crazy, but I prefer my ladies with noses and without leathery abs. The crazy eyes are nice, but the rest just sinks any boner I may have mustered right into the ground. Sam's shares my logic obviously, as he resists Ginger's temptations and pushes her to the floor. But, when he tries to be chivalrous and help her back up, she breaks his arm. See, that's why I don't do things nice for women anymore. Brigitte then intercedes and offers to finally join Ginger as a member of the fido club, cutting her hand and mixing the wound with Ging's blood, infecting herself to spare Sam a similar fate. The girls then attempt to escape out the back door, off to their new life of chasing their tails and making nature their personal toilet... how illustrious. Sam wont let that happen, as being a landscapist we can understand his motivation, and pops up out of nowhere, clocking Ginger over the head with a shovel, an item that I feel just isn't used in the horror genre enough anymore. Brigitte chews him out for being a dumbass though, because the whole blood infection thing was just a scam to get Ginger back to the house so she could give them both the antidote... again, this is why I don't do things for women. Gathering the feral broad up in the back of Sam's van, he and Brigitte hightail it back to the Fitzgerald household, where mom and dad don't seem to be around. As for Ginger, well, she wasn't happy about her skull being cracked with a gardening implement, and yes, Ginger snaps.

Fully transformed into her wolfen state (minus Gregory Hines), Ginger escapes into the house, setting herself up to stalk her prey before they can "cure" her. This leaves Brigitte and Sam to tiptoe through the house, gathering the items needed to mix up some more antidote and preparing it in the pantry. Before they can agree on a plan to inject Ginger, Sam's dragged from the confines into the darkness kicking and screaming! Now it's all up to Brigitte to get the juice into Ging and save the day... there's still a chance for a happy ending, right?! When she finally finds the Ginger beast, she's lurking over the fallen Sam, who's grasping for his last breaths in a desperate attempt to live, covered in blood and not look too promising to make it to the end credits. At this point his only chance is to survive long enough for the lycanthropy to take effect and heal him. When Brigitte refuses to partake in slurping up Sam's spilled fluids, Ging gets pissed and kills Sam before chasing down Brigitte. The chase ends in their bedroom, where Ginger makes a leap for her own sister and instead winds up with a 10 inch butcher knife lodged in her chest... there's a reason for that "look before you leap" saying ladies and gentlemen, I suggest you heed it. So, there, in their morbid little hideaway from the rest of the world, the two sisters who have been each others' only friends for 15 years say goodbye. While the Ginger creature bleeds to death, the stainless steel fatally ripping up her insides, Brigitte lies her head on top of her dying sister's chest, listening to her last gasps as the camera passes over the room one last time and the end credits role.

Wow. From the cultural purgatory of Canada crawls what is definitely THE best werewolf film since THE HOWLING, and probably the best horror movie I've watched in a while. Many horror critics enjoyed this film, which makes me wonder why, if it's so acclaimed, does it have to be kicked down to Direct-to-Video for the US release? Couldn't SOMEBODY have thrown the true horror public a bone for once and given us a worthy theatrical release for once?! I hate the politics of Hollywood. GINGER SNAPS first sounded to me like it was going to be another WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS or BAD MOON, but instead it fits right up there on my list with the original HOWLING... and for completely different reasons. Whereas THE HOWLING was great for it's eye-goungingly grand special FX, GINGER SNAPS was not, as the FX were the only thing that needed work, though still not terrible for a made-for-TV Canadian flick. GINGER SNAPS has it's strong points instead in the story and writing, with the direction and somber sweet tones only adding and that moody violin music on the soundtrack giving my goosebumps! The acting? Right on the button... not THE button, but the other button... the one that, uhm, impresses me... not a word. Every member of the cast plays their roles with ease. No overacting or bullshit here, just basic devotion and talent.

I love the parallels that are made, not only with the transformation into a werewolf with the transformation into a woman, but also the comparison of sex with killing a dog: there's a lot of squirming and twitching and crying out, then before you know it it's over and you're left unsatisfied. Very witty, yet subtle humor that really helps the movie. The other great element of the film was the story itself. It's not often that a werewolf movie deals with a gradual metamorphosis, or an evolution into a wolf creature. In fact, I think this is the first time I've seen such a story. All other werewolf movies I've ever seen instead go for the physical revolution method, transforming a human into a primal creature within a few violent moments. Don't get me wrong, this can be cool, especially when the people can control their transformations, such is the case in THE HOWLING. But, think about this: in many werewolf movies, the person or persons transforming for the first time become an entirely different creature in the matter of a few moments. In that short time, their mental processes suddenly adjust so that their balance and composure are of no problem, even though they grow a tail, their head turns to a completely different angle, and they now run on all fours... Again, in cases like THE HOWLING, where the wolves in question are experienced in such changes, that's okay. But, in other cases it just pisses me off. In addition to THE HOWLING method, the only other method I can tolerate is THE WOLF MAN method, where the resultant beast after the transformation is very humanoid in appearance, so much as that the only real changes are big teeth, pointy ears and a shaggy new body toupee.

So, anyway, GINGER SNAPS gets my highest praises as one of the few good werewolf films around and some of the best film making to come out of Canada since SCANNERS! Director John Fawcett will be keeping my attention as I await his next endeavor! In a world where Romero, Carpenter and Craven have lost their edges, Barker and Hooper have basically fallen off the face of the Earth, and Fulci's, well, a corpse, I think it's time to start looking for new talent, on which Fawcett is definitely sitting pretty near the top. For once, I feel good about what I do! :-D

DVD X-tras: Nothing here. Sadly we only get a trailer and that's it. Not only that, but the film isn't even available in widescreen letterbox, only full screen TV... oh well, good thing the movie was so good, or I'd be disappointed.

Sequels: Nope

If You Liked This Flick, Check Out: THE HOWLING or CARRIE