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| Merja Stenman Bjorn Dear Class First I hope next year 2005 will be much more dull and boring than this year. This year has had so many "events" for me personally I've got all the excitement and stamina I need. Even work, it's changed. I was so happy to get a day job after "staying awake" for 5 years in the night job in my so precious Bellevue Restaurant with the exquisite Russian cuisine. I went to a day job for a few weeks as a sales service secretary just to notice that the work would have suited me properly, but the place was a true hell hole. People were "taught" to be rude to each other; yelling and screaming and calling each other assholes and son of a bitch. Yep, they got a perfect example from their supervisors. So my contract there was terminated and I've been a freelancer ever since. It was a blow to me to realise that I'm not on a steady job at the age of over 40, but I'm counting on the saying: God takes care of his lunies (this meaning me). Well, just to rub my nose into it, I guess God had to show to me this past week what I'm made of. I was just stardone the 7th of this month and totally out of it not knowing a thing what I should do. The mailman still kept giving us a pile of bills, so I got nervous, worried and even desperate in the evening...and went to an old agency who had booked me before when my children were very small. Now that I look back this past 10 days it says it loud and clear: I'm still a professional. I've done some regular catering, but I have been also serving the Minister of Justice on his 50th birthday, the Minister of Cultureon a different occasion with bishop of Helsinki, The City managers in the Townhall; and serving an exquisite banks customers on their birthday. It moved me when the bank manager came and shook my hand after I'd been working already 9 hours in the bank hall serving them: "You have done a splendid job here. Thank you so very much for all of us." The I got free tickets to a movie I can choose and a great umbrella with the bank initials. All I've had so far are the small umbrallas which do "agree with the wind." I am still more than nervous about my future; January to begin with. It's very slow season here. But maybe I'll get something else on my bread than my upper lip. My husband has been great so far... I hope I don't meet his limits soon... Lack of money can become an issue in the family... My children are beautiful and handsome and doing great in school with loads of buddies. For some strange reason I believe that situation was meant to be so I could open up a new door. Which one? I don't know. I just need to trust Him in this. I'm a very impatient woman so it's going to be hard. I would be more than glad if you could pray about his issue of mine amongst other prayer requests you have. Since I've been talking so much about this other personal thing/past of mine I don't want to bring it up now. I just want to move on to concentrate to today and all the tommorrow's to come. I was bruised then, in a way eternally, but I've got a lot of things going on for me now. And it's much more devastating when people get hurt now by terminal illness etc. You are all in my thoughts and prayers and somehow I believe we'll see each other some day. I'll put a picture of Heidi Welling here though. I'm starting to have peace over her death the 31st July 2003. I picture her as an angel now. An angel with everlasting peace and rest. I guess heaven must be a "neat place'. I've learned one thing though this year. I've doubted myself many times and especially my straightforwardness and uncompromising attitude towards truth and life in general. i could not take for example this day job hassle when my supervisor called me an asshole after I had only opened a door to a goods delivery man. They were the wrong flowers. How could I have known? Or threw my cellphone back over the table after having a heated discussion with someone. Officially I got "sacked on paper" although I made the request myself 4 days earlier prior to the Friday coming up when "she sacked me." Neither was I ready to acknowledge that what happened in the past years and years ago was a lie. Why in the world should perpetrators become victims and victims the guilty ones in any case? Absurd and ludicrous when you come to think about it. I hope we can all have peace at Christmas and be thankful for what we have and nto grave too much for what we don't have. I will especially pray for all of you and your children who experience more than straining times health or otherwise! I wish you All a very good Christmas! |
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