The Daily Flapdoodle

THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE
Serving America - One Possum At A Time!

Dateline: October 25, 2000
PLAY SMIRK’S OCTOBER SURPRISE GAME!

Today’s electoral outrage from the Village Voice: Pollster John Zogby has been getting little pay offs from the Republican Party, presumably to skew his results toward G.O.P. candidates. Zogby also polls for Reuters/MSNBC.

"So what?" I hear from the back of the room. "What's the point of jacking up the poll numbers? Nobody votes for somebody just because they're ahead in polls!"

I wish I could agree, but that's not true. There are actually people who just "go with the flow" on election day.

But even worse than that -- when it looks like candidate A is going to win big time, voters opposing candidate A often get discouraged and do not vote for the opposition.

And this year we have the added issue of "strategic voting" -- that a number of Nader supporters want to vote for Nader only if it won't help Bush. If they think Bush is going to win big time, they will vote for Nader.

Sound like dirty politics? Of course it does!

Or is it something deeper, more sinister than that?

We all know that Poppa Smirk and Ronny Raygun played cheap election year politics with American lives in the Middle East. Smirk is surrounded by leftovers and retreads from both of those highly criminal administrations. How stupid are they? Would they launch an October surprise in the year 2000?

Get ready to duck the Black Helicopters! It’s time to play:
CONNECT THE CLUES TO SEE IF THIS IS SMIRK’S OCTOBER SURPRISE!!
Central to my premise are the following:

a.) Part of the Democratic platform is campaign finance reform. This is a provision that Gore has embraced, both because he had been working toward public financing of campaigns while in Congress and because he got badly mauled by investigations into the aggressive (although not illegal) fundraising techniques used by the Clinton/Gore reelection committee. Gore has repeatedly promised to make McCain/Feingold the first bill he will send to Congress as President – and that he will keep on sending it to Congress until it’s passed. The Vice President says there is a very good chance to pass it next term.(And my personal take is that he is such a cautious, precise person that he does not make pronouncements like that unless there is a 95% chance it will happen that way. I mean, in 1992, who really believed he and Clinton could balance the stupid federal budget?)

b.) Smirk never has, and never will embrace campaign finance reform. While Gore agreed to spending limits and rejected PAC contributions, Smirk did the opposite. Smirk has raised and spent twice as much as Gore has on this campaign – and has a much smaller pool of "legal" cash to use now. I believe it has always been a Smirk strategy to spend Gore into the ground, while Gore has been playing financial Rope-A-Dope, saving his cash to the end.

c.) The very, very, very vested interests who are pumping this ridiculous amount of money into Smirk’s campaign aren’t doing it because he’s so charming. They need to stop any kind of campaign finance reform or they are toast. For example, the husband of a friend of mine just got a job with the Department of Energy researching alternate fuel sources. The D.O.E. is supposed to be done with the fuel cell research by 2003. Hybrid cars and perhaps non-gasoline cars should be ready by 2010. This is pro-Consumer, pro-Environment stuff that Gore has overseen and wants to continue, possibly on a stepped up scale. What would you do if you were Exxon?

d.) And finally, central to Smirk’s campaign of lies and non-issues have been these two "ideas": that Smirk is a uniter, not a divider (while Gore is a partisan jerk) and that Clinton/Gore have screwed up our national defense so bad we’re all in terrible, terrible danger.

COINCIDENCE OR OCTOBER SURPRISE?
YOU MAKE THE CALL!
1.) Several years before even knowing who their next Presidential nominee will be, the G.O.P. launches the "Gore is a big, fat liar" character assassination campaign.

2.) The Corporate Lackey Attack Chihuahua Corps play up the Gore pseudo scandals and character assassination through the primary elections and the national election.

3.) In July, Smirk’s hellish minions try to get the Israelis to walk out of the Camp David Peace Talks until Smirk is in the White House. One Israeli emissary even ends up in Houston. No explanation is given for this little side trip.

4.) Late August through September: Vice President Gore’s choice of Senator Joe Lieberman for his running mate and a strong, populist speech at the Democratic convention rocket him past Bush in the polls. Although the media is not favorable to Gore, he continues to lead Bush by a decent margin. As Labor Day approaches, the pressure mounts for Smirk to regain the lead. Popular wisdom is that whoever leads right after Labor Day wins the election.

5.) The Olympics: For some reason no one quite explains, Bush pulls ahead of Gore in the polls. Gore reminds behind in the polls or tied from this point forward.

6.) September 28th: Right wing Israelis apparently begin a new wave of violence in the Middle East. The Peace Talks break down.

7.) October 3rd. The first Presidential debate is held. Prior to the debate, expectations are criminally lowered for Bush, but all agree he must hold his own or loose the election. Although Gore is criticized for his aggressive questioning of facts, post-debate polls show Gore the winner.

8.) Between the 1st and 2nd Presidential debates, everything Gore says is put under a microscope. The "Gore is a big, fat liar" hysteria hits its peak. Gore’s poll numbers sink while Bush’s rise.

9.) October 11th: During the Second Presidential debate, Smirk attempted to smear Gore’s foreign policy record by repeating an old G.O.P. lie: that Gore ignored Russian corruption if it stood in the way of his policy goals. Smirk went over the top, however, and suggested Former Russian Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin (whom Gore had worked with closely) had stolen IMF funds.

Later in the same debate, Bush creeped out America by grinning like ghoul over the fact that he’s going to execute James Byrd Jr.’s three killers. (Of course, like everything else, Bush got it wrong. Only two were actually sentenced to death. And, surprisingly enough, the media caught this factual mistake of Bush’s at the time, unlike the thirty or so policy gaffes and/or lies they missed.) In the middle of this very disturbing glimpse into his "Compassionate Conservatism", Smirk offered a totally uncharacteristic interest in the racial profiling of Arab-Americans (below in bold):

GORE: I would agree. And I also agree that most police officers, of course, are doing a good job and hate this practice also.

I talked to an African-American police officer in Springfield, Massachusetts, not -- not long ago -- who raised this question and said that in his opinion, one of the biggest solutions is in the training, and not only the training in police procedures, but human -- human relations.

And I think that racial profiling is part of a larger issue of how we deal with race in America.

And as for singling people out because of race, you know James Byrd was singled out because of his race, in Texas. And other Americans have been singled out because of their race or -- or ethnicity. And that's why I think that we can embody our values by passing a hate crimes law. I think these crimes are different.

GORE: I think they're different because they're based on prejudice and hatred, which is -- which gives rise to crimes that have not just a single victim, but they're intended to stigmatize and dehumanize a whole group of people.

LEHRER: Do you have a different view of that?

BUSH: No, I don't really.

LEHRER: On hate crimes violence?

BUSH: No, I -- we got one in Texas, and guess what? The three men who murdered James Byrd, guess what's going to happen to them? They're going to be put to death. A jury found them guilty and I -- it's going to be hard to punish them any worse after they get put to death. And it's the right cost; it's the right decision.

And secondly, there is other forms of racial profiling that goes on in America. Arab-Americans are racially profiled in what's called secret evidence. People are stopped, and we got to do something about that. My friend, Senator Spencer Abraham of Michigan, is pushing a law to make sure that, you know, Arab-Americans are treated with respect.

So racial profiling isn't just an issue at the local police forces. It's an issue throughout our society. And as we become a diverse society, we're going to have to deal with it more and more.

I believe though -- I believe, sure as I'm sitting here, that most Americans really care. They're tolerant people. They're good, tolerant people. It's the very few that create most of the crisis. And we just happen to have to find them and deal with them.

LEHRER: What -- if you become president, Governor, are there other areas, racial problem areas, that you would deal with as president, involving discrimination?

BUSH: Sure.

LEHRER: Again, you said Arab-Americans, but also Hispanics, Asians, as well as blacks in this country.

BUSH: Let me tell you where the biggest discrimination comes: in public education, when we just move children through the schools.

After Bush’s response about education, there was a second question about racial discrimination. Gore’s answer includes an obvious request for the media to check into Bush’s rather unflattering record on race, hate crime legislation and his very callous treatment of James Byrd Junior’s family. Bush either misunderstood the point of Gore’s extremely polite attack, or ducked the issue, or both.

LEHRER: Vice President Gore, what would be on your racial discrimination elimination list as president?

GORE: Well, I think we need tough enforcement of the civil rights laws. I think we still need affirmative action. I would pass a hate crimes law, as I said.

GORE: And I guess I had misunderstood the governor's previous position. The Byrd family may have a misunderstanding of it in Texas also.

But I'd like to shift, if I could, to the big issue of education.

LEHRER: Well, no, hold on one second. What is the misunderstanding? Let's clear this up.

GORE: Well, I had thought that there was a controversy at the end of the legislative session where the hate crimes law in Texas was -- failed and that the Byrd family, among others, asked you to support it, Governor, and it died in committee for lack of support. Am I wrong about that?

BUSH: Well, you don't realize we have a hate crime statute...

GORE: I'm talking about the one that was proposed to deal...

BUSH: Well, what the vice president must not understand is we got a hate crimes bill in Texas. And secondly, the people that murdered Mr. Byrd got the ultimate punishment...

LEHRER: But they were...

BUSH: ... the death penalty.

LEHRER: They were prosecuted under the murder laws, were they not...

BUSH: Well...

LEHRER: ... in Texas?

BUSH: In this case, when you murder somebody, it's hate, Jim.

LEHRER: No, but...

BUSH: Crime is hate. And they got -- and they got the ultimate punishment. I'm not exactly sure how you enhance the penalty any more than the death penalty. Well, we happen to have a statute on the books that's a hate crimes statute in Texas.

GORE: May I respond?

LEHRER: Sure.

GORE: I don't want to jump in.

(LAUGHTER)

I may have been misled by all the news reports about this matter, because the law that was proposed in Texas, that had the support of the Byrd family and a whole lot of people in Texas, did in fact die in committee. There may be some other statute that was already on the books, but certainly the advocates of the hate crimes law felt that a tough new law was needed.

GORE: And it's important, Jim, not only -- not just because of Texas, but because this mirrors the national controversy. There is pending now in the Congress a national hate crimes law because of James Byrd, because of Matthew Shepard, who was crucified on a split- rail fence by bigots, because of others. And that law has died in committee also because of the same kind of opposition.

LEHRER: And you would support that bill?

GORE: Absolutely.

LEHRER: Would you support a national hate crimes law?

BUSH: I would support the Orrin Hatch version of it, not the Senator Kennedy version.

But let me say to you, Mr. Vice President, we're happy with our laws on our books. That bill -- there was another bill that did die in committee.

But I want to repeat, if you have a state that fully supports the law like we do in Texas, we're going to go after all crime, and we're going to make sure people get punished for the crime. And in this case, we can't enhance the penalty anymore than putting those three thugs to death. And that's what's going to happen in the state of Texas.

11.) October 12th: Smirk is widely hailed throughout the Corporate Media as a foreign policy genius for sitting next to Gore and mumbling "Um... What he said".

12.) Later October 12th: Former Russian Prime Minister Viktor Chernomyrdin threatens to sue Smirk over his accusation that Chernomyrdin stole IMF funds. Smirk looks like a foreign policy idiot.

13.) Even Later October 12th: the U.S.S. Cole is attacked by two suicide bombers. 17 U.S. sailors are killed in the attack.

14.) October 13th: Vice President Gore is forced to cancel a meeting with Arab American Activists to attend National Security Council Meetings over the Cole bombing and the break down of Middle East Peace talks. Bush criticizes Gore for a five year old pact with Russia that allowed Russia to finish shipping arms to Iran that Russia had contracted to sell prior to signing the agreement with the U.S.

15.) Later October 13th: Gore meets with the Arab American leaders, including James Zogby, brother of pollster John Zogby. James Zogby said `We had a very good meeting... (Gore) said he was very concerned about violence on both sides and was looking for an opportunity to address the need for both sides to unwind the violence.''

16.) October 17th: As President of the Arab American Institute, James Zogby announces that a Zogby poll (by his brother, John) shows that Arab-Americans prefer Bush, then Nader, and Gore’s popularity has been slipping badly with that group. James Zogby announces that his group formally endorses Smirk. (John) Zogby and other polling organizations conclude Gore could loose Michigan -- and possibly, the entire election -- based on the Arab-American vote.

17.) News papers begin to look more critically at Governor Bush. The media reports are not flattering and question outright whether Bush is capable of being President.

18.) Smirk and Condi Rice (not to be mistaken for the oil tanker of the same name) announce their unbelievably insane plan to scrap NATO. The press rips them both for it, and deservedly so.

19.) October 20th: On CNN’s "Crossfire", Larry Flynt accuses George W. Bush of having been involved in an illegal abortion in the 1970s. CNN quickly edits this information out of the official transcript and copies of the tape that can be purchased of the broadcast.

20.) October 23rd: facing mounting public criticism over the edited transcript, the entire transcript is removed from CNN’s website. There is no media coverage of this bizarre event or Flynt’s accusations.

21.) October 24th: The news cycle suddenly focuses exclusively on how Nader could steal enough left wing votes from Gore to tip the election to Smirk. The Press attention shifts back to how Gore ought to be winning the election, but he’s a total looser chess club geek who nobody likes, unlike Ralph Nader, who certainly is right up there in the personal magnetism department and could never, never be called a policy wonk.

22.) The question of whether Nader should quit gets a great deal of press. "Goristas" and "Naderites" turn on each other in print, violently pointing out the other side’s (perceived) sins while claiming the moral high ground. At the same time, rogue Democrats and Greens attack their own parties as obstructionist. Gore suddenly becomes the center of divisive partisan politics, hopelessly tried to an unraveling coalition of stoner-tree hugging-pinkos and ditzy-two income-soccer moms, just like Smirk said he was. Smirk, the uniter, stands unscathed on the sidelines of the bloodbath, waiting to scoop up the country. Nader uses the media attention to launch his most intense attacks on Gore. Gore, who had been trying to stick to the issues, is now faced with the dilemma of attacking Nader and loosing votes, or ignoring Nader and loosing votes.

23.) John Zogby continues to say incredibly stupid pro-Bush things about how the American people agree 1200% with Smirk on the economy, hand guns, tall Baptists who kiss their wives in public... all based on his "unbiased" polling.

24.) In the Middle East, people continue to die so that Smirk and his little army of Reagan-Bush retreads can keep the Corporate Welfare trough open 24/7.

Sound like an October surprise?

Of course it does!
THIS JUST IN!!
We at the Daily Flapdoodle don’t know if this is legitimate or not, but if it is,
it restores our faith in Republicans.

Don't forget to visit "Gore-in-context", your one stop shop for debunking urban legends about Vice President Gore! Have you volunteered to help get out the vote yet? If not, here's why you should.
Click here for your October Surprise Update!
(Link Updated On 10/14!) I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Any More! (Updated on 10/22 -- We take on CNN!)

The Fine Folks At Fox and Halliburton Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guy.
Or Else.

Read yesterday's Flapdoodle!
Read tomorrow's Flapdoodle!
Talk To The Possum!
Return To Possum County!

EVERYONE SHOULD READ, POST AND EMAIL THIS PAGE TO EVERYONE THEY KNOW.

Help save America from Bush! Click below to learn how!

Don't forget to visit "Gore-in-context", your one stop shop for debunking urban legends about Vice President Gore!	Have you volunteered to help get out the vote yet? If not, here's why you should.
Click here for your October Surprise Update! (Link Updated On 10/14!)	I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Any More! (Updated on 10/22 -- We take on CNN!)