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Signs of College Life

"A Silent Cry For Help"
Mobola Campbell ('95)

What the World Needs
Lara Adejumo ('95)

Mary Had a Little Lamb
Contributed by Lara Adejumo ('95)

You Know You are in College...
  1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen.
  2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match.
  3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal.
  4. If you have ever written a check for 45 cents.
  5. If you have a fine collection of domestic beer bottles.
  6. If you have ever seen two consecutive sunrises without sleeping.
  7. If your glass set is composed of stolen beer glasses from the local pub.
  8. If your underwear supply dictates the time between laundry loads.
  9. If you cannot remember when you last washed your car.
  10. If you can pack your worldly possessions into the back of a pick-up (one trip).
  11. If you have ever had to justify yourself for buying Natural Light or the "Beast".
  12. If the first thing you do in the morning is roll over and introduce yourself.
  13. If your bed time is no longer 10:00 PM, but 3:00 AM.
  14. If you consider Pizza one of the four major food groups.
  15. If you consider the other3 to be beer, McDonalds, and candy.
  16. If you've ever missed a class to watch daytime soaps..
  17. If you've ever sent e-mail to the people you live with.
  18. If you refer to your meal card as "plastic".
  19. If you've ever spent a good hour searching for your student I.D. just so you could get that one dollar off at the movies.
  20. If you've ever stayed up all night just so you wouldn't sleep through your morning class.
  21. If you've ever called your roommates, not knowing where you were and asked them to come get you.
  22. When you work your class schedule around happy hour or daytime soaps.
  23. When you watch TV with no volume, while listening to the radio.
  24. When you can play euchre (or spades, hearts, etc.) in any state of mind.
  25. When showering doesn't happen on a daily basis.
  26. When a blender is your first major appliance.
  27. When you're not a dork if you wear your backpack on both shoulders.
  28. If you can't find money to buy food but it miraculously appears to buy alcohol.
  29. When weather begins to be a major factor on your class attendance.
  30. When you would rather do e-mail than study for a test.
  31. When your second major appliance is a coffee maker.
  32. When your walls are covered with beer signs.
  33. When you have a separate refrigerator for beer.
  34. When you spend a majority of your time reading forwarded mail.
    Additions to the list
  35. When you have to wear your flip flops in the shower because there's so much growing on the bath tub floor you think you might die from it.
  36. When you have to throw away the tupperware that you find in the refridgerator because it's been in there for a year and you don't dare open it, you might die from the fumes.
  37. When you can turn in all the beer bottles that was consumed during the quarter at a recycle center and get enough money from it to by a keg and have an end of the quarter party.
  38. When roomates start pad locking food cabinets and identifying their possesions by writing their drivers license number all over their shit (food, shaving lotion, and everything else that he owns).
  39. When you can only make local calls and have to use your own personal calling card to make long distance calls because everyone's guilty of not paying for past phone bills.
  40. When you steal toliet paper from the college restrooms and you get excited when the mission is accomplished.
  41. When you know every drinking special of every local college bar every night of the week.

Simisola Sanni's ideas:
  1. When Saturday Night Live sounds more exciting than partying with a couple of drunk college kids
  2. When you realize there's more to life than cute boys who behave like jerks but have wonderful bedroom skills
  3. When you stop thinking of your parents every time you run into financial trouble
  4. When you complete your thesis and never want to write another academic paper in your life
  5. When the thought of going into the"real world" stops being scary
  6. When you start resenting the pet name your father called you since you were two years old
  7. When you start referring to your friends as "women" not girls
  8. When you stop thinking of "happily ever after with marriage and kids" and start thinking "get a great job and work my way up the corporate ladder"
  9. When you start looking at the "real estate" section of the newspaper
  10. When you start planning college reunions!

"A Silent Cry for Help"
Mobola Campbell (QC '95)

I awake to yet another bright morning
Its brightness comes only from the sun.
This morning holds no bright prospects for me.
Before proceeding, let me introduce myself.
I am a child. Black, White, Asian, Indian, it matters not.
I am a poor child.

Everyday is a struggle. Everyday I wage a war.
My struggle will not be reported of in the history books,
My war will not be sung of by the griots.
Everyday I fight against a legion of soldiers.
I fight against hunger and thirst and disease
and degradation and fear and death.

Help me. You can't just watch and do nothing.
Help me. I am a human being just like you.
My poverty does not make me less a person than you.
I need your help, your prayers, your letters to the government,
your financial donations. I need you to hold on to.
Poverty is like quick sand; don't turn away.
I might be gone by the time you turn back.
I don't make the 10 o'clock news but if you listen
you can hear my silent cry for help.

What the World Needs
by Lara Adejumo (QC '95)

He was his father's son, or so it seemed
The prodigal son, bound to succeed.
Pampered by many, young and old.
Born very blessed, his mother smirked
Pretty face and a great big chest.
Sure their son was blessed, on the outside
But in the head, boy was he slight.

Turned eighteen, and to college he went
Just to fulfil his parents' request.
Not surprisingly, he was a failure
'Cause all he did was look for pleasure.
"Where?," you are bound to wonder,
But with the girls, he found life sweeter.
He broke their hearts and spent their money
Wasn't all that, yet was a conceited ninny.

When he was thirty he got married
We all thought age would make him less trashy
But alas! that poor wife of his he hit.
Wherever his foolishness came from, the neighbours said
It had definitely come with a lifetime guarantee.
Then the unthinkable happened: a death I wouldn't wish.
He met his death and this truly made me weep
Hit by a truck while cruising in his jeep.

It is at this point that the ladies purse their lips
Quite ready to say, "serves him right, one less nuisance."
Let's not forget that he could also be a she
And maybe with a little fairness we would see
That life never serves us the same deals.
He might have needed plenty of guidance, not plenty of scorn
And constructive love for a better turn.
I think the world will do fine even with nuisances
What the world really needs, however, is for us to be better allies.

Mary Had a Little Lamb
Contributed by Lara Adejumo (QC '95)

Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was slightly grey,
It didn't have a father, just some borrowed DNA,

It sort of had a mother, though the ovum was on loan,
It was not so much a lambkin, as a little lamby clone,

And soon it had a fellow clone, and soon it had some more,
They followed her to school one day, all cramming through the door,

It made the children laugh and sing, the teachers found it droll,
There were too many lamby clones, for Mary to control,

No other could control the sheep, since their programs didn't vary,
So the scientists resolved it all, by simply cloning Mary,

By now they feel quite sheepish, those scientists unwary,
One problem solved, but what to do with Mary, Mary, Mary...!


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