| Episode 3 Gayja: Welcome to my show. I am your host Gayja and right over to my left is Bob, my sidekick. Bob: I am proud to be here. (Crowd Cheers) Gayja: Well today we are going to play a game. This is how it is played: Cat is to kittin as Dog is to .....puppy. Ok Now that we know how to play. Let's play "The Simalir Gayja Game". What a cheap name. It's almost as cheap as your wife Bob. Bob: Haha almost. Gayja: Ok here it goes, to play "The Simalir Gayja Game." Halle Berry is to winning an Oscar as to, you guessed it, Vinnie "The Terrorizer" winning the MBW championship. Bob: Yeah, that is a joke. Gayja: Tom Green being number 1 in his class as to George Bush being our President. I mean talk about a joke. Bush being our president ha. Vinnie is happy to win the title as to, ah how sweet, Mariahco is happy that Vinnie proposed to him before he did. Bob: You know that I am the Best Man. haha. Gayja: Well anyway here is your guest Bill Gates. Bill: Hello, Gayja Gayja: First off, love the glasses. There thick and I just want to touch them. Bill: Thanks I paid for them myself. Gayja: Not to big, not to small. Firm, just the way I like them. Bill: ...... Gayja: So what do you do? Bill: What do you mean. Gayja: What? Do you want to rephase it? Ok. WHAT DO YOU DO? Bill: I think everyone knows what I do. I make software. Gayja: Oh... I wear that brand all the time Bill: Are you Stupid? I was talking about Computer Software. What, you never seen my Windows. Gayja: Why would I want to peak into your windows. Are you doing sexy poses for me. Bill: No, are you.. Gayja: Are you sending little kissie poos at me. Well let me tell you something. I am like not that. Bill: What the hell is wrong with you. Gayja: I'm sorry, I apoligize. Next question. Do you make anything else besides Software. Bill: Yes, I am the proud founder of The X-Box. Gayja: What? You mean X-crap. Bill: It is a top-nouch machine. Gayja: The X-crap Bill: Shut up. It has such games as Halo and uhh...Let me think.... Oh yeah, Sherk Gayja: Exactly, X-Crap. Bill: You know, I am known to kick some ass in my day. Gayja: Are you threating me. Bill: You bet. And I'll show you that I'm the big dog. Gayja: Bill, "Who's your daddy." Bill: Come on well. Gayja: If only you were 5 feet taller and deeper in voice I think you can pull it off. Bill: #$#@ Gayja: I can break you like a toothpick. Bill: Forget it, I am out of here. Gayja: Well he sucked more than the X-crap. (Crowd Cheers) Gayja: Well next time, I will get juggie wit it with Will Smith. |
| Gayja: Welcome to my show. I am your host, the cute, the sexy Gayja!!!!!!!!!!! (Crowd Cheers) Bob: Hello Gayja. Gayja: Today I have a really special guest Will Smith. But before that I am a really big fan of movie stars and I have an autograph book. Everytime a famous person comes by and watchs the show, I ask them to sign my book. Bob: Me too. But they sign my chest instead. Gayja: Well anyway, I never look in my book and I am going to tonight. In a segment I call "Gayja's Autograph Book". Who writes this stuff? Bob: I don't know but they sure do suck chesse. Gayja: Well lets open it up. Oh look it's from Elton John It reads: "Hey, I have to thank you for setting up this date for me. Now I can tell Eminiem what my name is." See I am a date master. I know how would go together real good. Bob: I didn't know he was gay. I thought Elton John had a wife. Gayja: Oh.. look RoseO'donold wrote: "Gayja!!! You said that we would come out together!!" (Crowd are shocked) Gayja: What? I have no idea what she is talking about. Bob: Don't look at me. Gayja: Well without a moment to waste, here is my guest Will Smith (Crowd cheers) Will: What's up. Gayja: Wassupp Will: (laughter)that was funny. Gayja: Now you star in the new movie, Men in Black II Will: Yeah, it is the sequel to the Movie Men in Black. Gayja: Well duh.. that's why it is called part two. Will: I am just telling the people whom hasn't seen the first movie. Gayja: shut up. Will:...... Gayja: My Crib is the bomb. How is your pad? Will: It is big I guess. Gayja: how big? Will: Really big. Gayja: I want to see that. Will: What? Your sick. Gayja: What the hell are you thinking. I think that Will has been smoking the magic dragon. Will: Excuss me? Gayja: Nothing. NEXT QUESTION. If you were to get married who would you get married to, Drew Barrymore, Halle Berry, or Jay Leno. Will: I am married Gayja: I guess that means Jay Leno. Will: Gayja you suck. Gayja: Suck as much as Wild Wild West. Will: I would cuss you right now, but I have a kid. Gayja: oh yeah, that gay $@@ @#$@^. Will: You @$#%@$@ Gayja: owww who let the dogs out. Will: I am going to bring out more then my dogs. Gayja: What?? Let me tell you brother but homie don't play that. Will: Just shut up because a pound you. Gayja: Shut up before a but a cap in your ass. Will: That's it man. Gayja: What is up wit that. Will: I am leaving. Gayja: Well it didn't look like he had a big Wille. (Chowd Cheers) Gayja: Well next time I will hang out with the sexy Rupaul. |
| Episode 1 Gayja- Welcome to my show!!! I am the host GAYJA!!!! (the crowd claps) Today's guest is Andy Dick. (the crowd screams) Gayja-Hello Andy. Andy-Hello Gayja. Gayja- Now, I heard that they canceled your show. Is that true? Andy- Well Gayja, believe it or not, it is true. The show is is canceled. Gayja- Huh, why? Is it because your white. Andy- No, no of course not. Gayja- It's because your a dude isn't it. Boy I'll tell you. This pushs men's civil rights 100 years back. Andy- Well the Hell are you talking about. Gayja- shhhhh... Don't worry I feel it. It's hard. Andy- OK, now that just didn't sound right. Gayja- Whatever do you mean? Andy- Nevermind. Gayja- You know me, you, Christhor Llowl, Chuck and Billy, and Elton John have something in common. Andy- What?!? I'm not gay. Gayja- ????? Andy- I may sound gay but I will tell you right now. I am not gay. Gayja- I didn't say you were. I was just saying that all of us have gotton somewhere in life. Andy- You were not talking about that. Gayja- Are you still on drugs? Andy- No, I am not on drugs. Gayja- Andy, You can talk to me, I am your friend. Andy- Screw you, your the reason why I took drugs. You people are just downright dirty. Gayja- Oh I see, I think I know the real reason. You have no self-confidence, huh. Andy- Your full of @#$% Gayja- Has your boyfriend ever hit you Andy- %@!# off!! You suck ass gayja. I am leaving. Your show SUCKS. Gayja- Wow! (The Crowd cheers) Well Next time Chirsta Agulira will tell us, what a hoe wants. What a hoe needs. Whatever makes you happy makes me rich. |
| Epsiode 2 Gayja: Welcome to the Show I am your host Gayja!!!!!!!!!! (Crowd cheers{A person says you suck}) Gayja: There has been a lot of news lately. I hear ABC may get David LetterMan and take off Date Line. Date Line is one of the most popluar shows on ABC, that been there since forever. Yea in other news the Gayja Show will be canceled and be replace by a pop up advertisment of Fruit of the Loom. Gayja: Also St. Patrick's day was on the 17 of March. The Irish people are getting mad that we are somehow making fun of them by celbrating the holiday. The spokesperson for Ireland said," It is because there always after me Lucky Charms" (person of the crowd,"You suck cheese.") Gayja: Well anyway here is our guest, Chirstina Aguilera. (The crowd cheers) Chirstina: Hiiiiiiiiiii. Gayja: Hi Chirstina, First off I think everyone wants to know what have you been up to. Chirstina: I been working been on a new album. It is going to have some new sounds on it. Gayja: ohh..I see. ohhhhhhhhh.. Chirstina: What does that mean? Gayja: I see where you are going. New Sounds huh. I would like to get me some of that. Chirstina: Are you hitting on me? Gayja: Of course not, I am invouled. I was just implying that I would like to get the new album. Chirstina: Ok....Whatever. Gayja: Do you think that you are a influence to young people everywhere? Chirstina: Yea I think I am. Gayja: Well I wouldn't like my kid to be like you. Chirstina: Why? Gayja: Well take your hair for instance. It looks like a gizzy bear took a crap and Macy Grey took a ugly stick and stuck it there and Smoky the Bear lit it on fire and called it the the Bush of Crap. Chirstina: How dare you, I going to tell my boyfriend about this. Gayja: Who's your boyfriend now, you slept with the whole damn nighborhood of 16 street. Chirstina: Shut upppppp. Your a lier Gayja: Yeah and you didn't do anything with Fred Durst. Chirstina: I am a virgin as a matter of Fact. Gayja: Yeah and I'm gay. Chirstina: You problally are gay. Gayja: Sure listen to the talking Bush. Chirstina: I am going to sue you. Gayja: For what? So you can buy more of those slutly outfits. Chirstina: I'm leaving. Gayja: Well fine. Anyway's buy her new album coming soon. (Crowd cheers) Gayja: Next time, My guest is going to be my homeboy, Bill Gates. (A person is the crowd says," Suck a Nut.") Gayja: Left or Right. |
| Episode 5 Gayja: Welcome to my show. I am your host, the sexy beast Gayja!!!!!!!!!!! (Crowd Cheers) Bob: Hello GJ, how are ya. Gayja: GJ?? What the heck. Is that my new name. Bob: Yeah, it is short for Gayja. Gayja: Ok, I am going to call you BB ok. Well anyway, there are new movies coming out. Like "Star Wars 2: Lets get it on". This is the movie where the princess rapes the little boy. That's sick. Bob: I want to see that movie. Gayja: Also, get really geeks there is a sequel it the Lord of the Rings called "Lord of the Geeks: Enter Dungeons and Dragons." Who the hell writes this that sucked. Bob: Yeah, it did kind of sucked. Gayja: Well in other news, Mariahco's favorite singer Enienm made a new music video. Yeah, he can now suck and blow it the same time. (Crowd laughs) Gayja: Well here is the very dead sexy Repaul. (Crowd cheers) Repaul: Hey..... Gayja: Ok,.....Man it is very hot in here. Repaul: oh yeah that's why I'm wearing this short skirt. Gayja:..A big gulp... First question, How come you are never on the cover of the Swim Suit Magazine because you are FINE. Repaul: Well they won't put people like me on the issues. Gayja: Man I hate that. Why are people so racist. Repaul: They just don't understand us. Gayja: Didn't Martin Luther King JR. stop this. Repaul: No I am taking about.. Gayja: You know what kind of dream I had. Repaul: ????? Gayja: Nevermind, you are sexy girl. Bob: Yeah, but show a little more butt though. Gayja: Man get the &%(* out of my interview boy. Bob: Sorry GJ it is not me talkn'. Gayja: Dude put that away before you hurt somebody. Repaul: Boys, Boys get ahold of yourself. Gayja: Sorry, Next question, how did you get so sexy. Repaul: Well first after the long tan sessions and shaving my legs. Gayja: ohh.. It is like Poetry in Motion. Repaul: Your a fisty little fellow huh. Bob: I am even fistyer in bed. Gayja: Get the #%&@ out of my interviw boy. Bob: Sorry Bro, It is just I have posters of her and I am in love man. Gayja: If you get in the interview again I am going to smash your brains into your.. Repaul: Ok ok guys. Gayja: Man It is hot I am taking my shirt off. Repaul: Oh..damn boy. Gayja: What the heck is that. Bob: hey shes a man, man. Repaul: What you didn't know. Gayja: That is the sickest think ever, I wanted the real Repaul. Repaul: I am the real Repaul Gayja: Your a &^&**^ crossdresser. You sick *&%%. Repaul: I don't have to take this. I know your gayand one day with me and I will turn you gay. Gayja: Get out girl I mean boy. Repaul: bye.(he licked his lips.) Gayja: Now that was sick. I am going to take a cold shower. Bob: Yeah Me too. Gayja: Shut up. Well anyway next time Bill Clinton is going to stop by and we are going to see how him and his girls are doin' Peace. |
| This is a funny character I made up so me and my friends can laugh. The names and companys I mention is used so I can make my Friends laugh and I am sorry if i offend you because this is my sense of humor. |
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