"Some of the most dangerous guys are down here so you don't want to mess with me, because I control the underwear." (the guy in charge of doing laundry in prison)---American History X
Person1:Who do
I have to f*ck to get off this boat
Person2: I'll
get you off.......maybe not the boat ---Alien
Resurrection
Person1: Hey,
there you are!
person2: Do I know you?
person1: No,
but that's whereyou are, you're right there.
---Austin Powers
Dr. Rumack:You'd
better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman
has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson:
A hospital? What is it?
Dr. Rumack:It's
a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.---Airplane
Angela: Your
hair. Like how it's really soft, like in the back. I'm gonna miss it.
Jordan : Yeah.
Angela : Well, I guess this is it. So...goodbye.
Jordan : Bye.
See you tomorrow. ---My
So Called Life
A: Get off..the
nuclear..warhead
B: Ok..I just
wanted to feel the power between my legs. Armageddon
Ms. Cartman: And sometimes the man puts his hoo-hoo-dilly in the woman's cha-cha. ----Southpark
Harry Burns (about his dark side): When I buy a new book, I read the last page first. That way, in case I die before I finish, I know how it ends.---when harry met sally
Harry Burns:But really what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah, you find out who died, and go to the building and then you tip the doorman. What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate section. Say, then you'd have `Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace.---when harry met sally
Shooter McGavin:Stay
out of my way or you'll pay! Listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore:
Why don't I just go eat some hay? I can live by the bay, make things out
of clay, what do you say? I just may. -- Happy
Gilmore
To make a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. ---Buffy the vampire slayer
I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away. ---Buffy
Buffy: He's not any guy, he's more...Owen-y. Xander: Sure, he's got a certain Owen-osity.
Angel: "Danced with" is a pretty loose term. "Mated with" might be a little closer. Buffy: It was one little dance which I only did to make you crazy. By the way, behold my success.
Xander: Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? (turns to see Angel) Hey man, how ya doin'?
Xander: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain.
Chandler: [caveman voice] Men are here. Joey: We make fire. Cook meat. Chandler: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.--Friends
George: I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive. Jerry: So, hopelessness is the key? George: It's my only hope.--Seinfeld
Jerry: You scared me! Kramer: It's just me. Jerry: That's enough!
George (to Jerry): Would it kill you not to be so funny all the time? That's all I'm askin'. This woman thinks I'm very funny and now you're gonna be funny, so what am I gonna be? I'm gonna be a short bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny.
Dorothea: Your mama's so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.---Bebe's kids
Angela : What do you mean? You mean Jordan went out with Cynthia Hargrove? Rayanne : Well, went out...I mean, I don't know how many outside locations they actually went to. Angela : But, she's someone Jordan used to um... Rayanne : Yes, Jordan used to "um" her.--Mysocalledlife
Jonathan Mardukas: You lied to me first! Jack: What the---YOU LIED TO ME FIRST! Jonathan Mardukas: Yes! Yes. But you didn't know I was lying to you when you lied to me down by the river. So as far as you knew, you lied to me first! Jack: How can I argue with this guy. I don't know what the f**k he's talking about.---Midnight Run
Burt: I thought you said that if we destroyed the brain, it would die. Frank: It worked in the movie! Burt: Well it ain't working now Frank. Fred: You mean the movie lied?----return of the living dead
My name is Nick.My father thought of it shaving.----top secret
Robin Harris: If you tried to phone hell from here, it'd be a local call.----Bebe's kids
The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty --Crimes and Misdemeanors
Hannibal Lecter:
How did you catch me, Will?
Will: You had
disadvantages.
Hannibal Lecter:
What disadvantages?
WIll: You're
insane. --Manhunter
Kent: You're
all a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight:
Oh, really? Well, what about that time I found you naked with that bowl
of jello?
Kent: You did
not!
Chris Knight:
This is true.
Kent: Yeah, well
I was hot and I was hungry! --Real Genius
Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love --Annie Hall
Customer : "An
argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition!
It's not just saying 'no, it isn't'!"
"Pro" arguer :
"Yes it is!"
Customer : "No
it isn't!!"----- Monty Python live in
the Hollywood bowl
Ross hanging up after taking message from
KC for Rachel: "What uh, what does he
want with her?"
Chandler: "I'm
guessing he wants to do a little dance...you know, make a little love...pretty
much get down tonight." ----Friends
Phoebe: "I
can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so that you guys could
watch TV with your feet up."
Chandler: "They
were chair-shaped cows. They never would've survived in the wild."
--Friends
Eddie: "OK,
then I want to hear you say it. I, I want to hear you say you want me out."
Chandler: "I
want you out."
Eddie: "No
no no, I wanna hear it from your lips."
Chandler: "Where
did you hear it from before?" ----Friends
Chandler: "If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm going to need a thing, you know -- a hook. Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, you know? Crazy Snake Man. Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies; kids won't walk by my place, they will run! 'Run away from Crazy Snake Man!' they'll shout!" ----Friends
Joey: "She
wants to have sex with me.
Chandler: "Crazy
bitch!" ----Friends
Rachel: Men can
pee standing up!
Chandler: We
can? Okay, I'm trying that. -----Friends
Phoebe: "Something
just brushed up against my leg!"
Monica: "Eeeewww!
What is it?"
Phoebe: "Oh,
it's just my other leg." -----Friends
ROSS: No,
no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just don't think breast milk
is for adults.
CHANDLER: Of
course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.
---Friends
CHANDLER: You're
damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say
you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre
west of the lingerie.
JOEY: I'm gonna
do it.
CHANDLER: All
right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.----Friends
George: Last night Darth Vadar came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Loraine out that he'd melt my brain. ---Back to the Future
Ross: I can't
believe you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler: I'm
sorry, it was a one time thing. I was very drunk, and it was someone else's
subconscious.---Friends
Joxer: "Now listen. I'm fierce, and I have a lust for blood. As a matter of fact, if a couple days go by and I haven't shed some blood, I get very depressed. Blood and me go together like a horse and chariot. I once bathed in a tub of blood. My nickname is Bloody Joxer." --Xena
Lorraine: Well that’s your name, isn’t it? Calvin Klein. it’s written all over your underwear.--Back to the Future
Doc: Now remember,
according to my theory you interfered with your parent’s first meeting.
They don’t meet, they don’t fall in love, they won’t get married and they
wont have kids. That’s why your older brother’s disappeared from that photograph.
Your sister will follow and unless you repair the damages, you will be
next.
Marty: This sounds
pretty heavy.
Doc: Weight has
nothing to do with it.----back to the future
Marty: Whoa, wait a
minute, Doc, are you telling me that my mother has got the hots for me?
Doc: Precisely.
Marty: Whoa, this
is heavy.
Doc: There’s that
word again, heavy. Why are things so heavy in the future. Is there a problem
with the Earth’s gravitational pull?---back to
the future
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