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The International Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dyslexic Newborn Gerbils

     Gerbil Timeline:

circa 3200 BC:  The Wheel is invented.  Many millenia and manifestations later, the "Gerbil Wheel" is created, which becomes a standard inclusion in modern domestic gerbil living quarters.

circa 3000 BC:  Rock drawings are created in the Sahara Desert in Africa.  These drawings show people and animals, possibly even including African burrowing gerbils (Pachyuromys duprasi

circa 2100 BC: Height of Indus River Valley civilization in India.  We're not sure if this is related in any way to gerbils or gerbil dyslexia, but we thought it would be cool to mention.

circa 1400 BC: At the peak of its power the Mycenaens of Greece are heavily active in trade by sea.  Many suggest the there was a massive Mycenaen gerbil trade in the Mediterranean prior to the Fall of Troy.  Others think we made that part up.  You decide.

circa 225 BC: In China, the heavy dependence on the silkworm backfires when its natural predator, the Chinese Gerbil, experiences an unusally large breeding over the winter. As silkworm numbers diminish, the first recorded instance of cruelty to gerbils, the "Silk Road Rodent Massacre", takes place as the Chinese try to protect their chief export.

AD 43:  Emporer Claudius invades England, and, subsequently, the gerbil is introduced to Western Europe.

79: Pompeii destroyed in a massive volcanic eruption.  The laboratory one of the earliest gerbil breeders is covered in ash,

732: Francks narrowly defeat Muslims at the Battle of Poitiers.  This is unrelated to anything associated with gerbils.

930: Iceland colonized by Vikings.  The rare snow gerbil, indigenous to the island is virtually wiped out.

1251: First Gerbil Breeders' Guild established in England

1455-1485: Civil War in England.  Gerbils are first utilized in combat as message-carriers (not unlike a carrier pigeon, except gerbils were more efficient because nobody expected them.  They expected pigeons.)

1607: English settlers bring gerbils to America when they settle at Jamestown.

1846: Cotton Gin Massacre.  An infamous date in Gerbil history when Old Man Rutherford, crazed as a hoot owl, senselessy stuffs 76 gerbils into a cotton gin and turns the lever, killing them one by one.

1846-1848: Copycat crimes plague the South as gerbils are rounded up by the hundreds and ground up in cotton gins.  Public outcry for the prevention of cruelty to gerbils is voiced in the North.

1958: First recorded case of newborn gerbil dyslexia.

1960-present: Dyslexic newborn gerbils are labeled as "undesirables" by pet store owners, lab assistants, zoos, gerbil breeding farms, etc.  Most gerbils afflicted with the learning disorder are either put to death or sold by pet stores at "markdown" prices, usually to low-income families that know no better than to physically and psychologically abuse the afflicted gerbils.

1996:  Thom G. Robinson decides he is fed up with the madness.  The Society is founded.

1997: Society is well-known throughout North Mecklenburg County.  There are about 10 honorary members.

July 1999:  First non-North Carolina member is unwittingly honored with a membership.

November 1999: Future Vice-president and Executive Webmaster, S. Livingston Hoke proposes idea of taking the Society to the web.   

December 1999:  Birth of website.  Membership offered globally; Society goes international.     

February 2000:  The society's website was chosen as one of About.com's Weekly Worst of the Web. webworst.about.com

......and the journey will continue.....

An alternative viewpoint of the role of gerbils in history can be found at:


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