Unlike the famous kangaroo courts of the Old West, the Dungaroo Court seeks true justice. Its purpose is to expose the sometimes subtle, sometimes not-so-subtle, hypocrisy, hearsay, and otherwise general flinging of dung often found in statements espoused by some of the well-intended, but possibly misguided, members of our society. Defendants are sworn in using the hypocritical oath.

"Fierce, why are you so uptight?  You might be right about some things, but I would never want to be as uptight as you."

You say I’m uptight.  Fine.  If it bothers you enough to write me about it, what does it say about you?

Charge: Irrelevance to any topic
Verdict: GUILTY!!



"Mr. Fierce, I am taking this moment to inform you that I find nothing of value in your website.  It is banal, prejudiced, and libelous.  I shall never visit it again.  Good day."

Very well then, Winchester. Or do you prefer Chaaaaarles?

Charge: Inability to counter specific arguments
Verdict: GUILTY!



"Your last two articles both mention John Elway.  Reason?"

I don’t know… he has big teeth?  Did you hear what they’re doing in Denver?  When the Rockies play, they’re going to put John Elway’s teeth out in the left field stands with a sign, “hit one through here and win a free suit.”

Charge: Poorly focused attention
Verdict: GUILTY!



"Steinbrenner is going to fire everyone for losing to the Marlins.  What are the Cubs going to do about it?"

Give me a break.  Hey, I give Steinbrenner credit for putting the money he makes back into the team.  He has afforded his team the highest payroll in the league, and he is justified in expecting results.  People in this town are miffed at Dusty Baker for not getting to the World Series with a team whose payroll ranked 12th.  The Cubs revenue ranked 5th.  Seems obvious to me where the blame belongs in both organizations.

Charge: Inability to go beyond cursory examination of facts
Verdict: GUILTY!



"I bet you won’t write a glorious commentary about Matrix Revolutions, you stupid jag."

Find someone who will take that bet.  You’ll win. 

Charge: Inability to construct a rational viewpoint, crassness.
Verdict: GUILTY!!



"Here’s something for your Heads & Tails hypocrisy page:  Terror attacks are expected soon due to the upcoming Holy month."

What does it say about someone when a time designated as Holy spurs them to commit violence against innocent people?  How does it make sense these days that non-Holy days are characterized by debauchery, and Holy days are characterized by murder and destruction?

If there truly is a religious war, then America better start declaring a lot more religious holidays than we have now, if we’re going to have a fighting chance.



Check out the Dungaroo archives.