Bill ShatnerWho.....?
who...?
WHO?!!!!
FOR NUMBER TWO?
Bill Trek 2000: The search for Veep!
It's astonishing really. You'd think that as the word of our campaign leaked out, we'd have thousands of people pressing forward, eager to say, "I'm almost as important as William Shatner!" Well, we have had a few nominations. Peruse the possibilities and then
cast your vote!UPDATE! (January 2000)
The Shatner Party is YOUR Party! And like any self-respecting quasi-populist collection of wackos, we take your suggestions seriously! So click here to see the latest VP write-ins from the Party Faithful!
But the Shatner Party is also OUR party (nyah!) click HERE to see our latest party-mandated mature political suggestion!
Leonard Nimoy
"Leonard! Leonard! Leonard! There IS no Vulcan death grip!" A tense policy moment in the Shatner-Nimoy administration
Advantages:
Looks great with our boy Bill. Seems kinda smart and talented. Certain to garner the Trekkie vote.Disadvantages
: Seems kinda smart and talented...probably TOO smart to be vice-president. Certain to garner votes from people who will tell us that it's TrekkER, not TrekkIE.
Advantages:
Politically experienced, masterful schemer. Nearly (but not quite) as smooth, suave, and sophisticated as our boy Bill.Disadvantages:
Perfectly capable of having Bill knocked off. Will demand that Canadian World Domination HQ be tastefully redecorated in Delta Delta Delta sorority colours.
Advantages:
Pretty. Very, very, very pretty. Like our boy Bill, a Canadian with amazing ability to portray American fantasy warrior-type.Disadvantages:
Better actor than Bill. Might foment dissent among the female ranks. NO-ONE must out-Shatner Shatner!
Dame Edna
"Hello, Possums! Is your wardrobe ready for World Domination?"
Advantages
: Vaguely female. Definitely feminine, discernably Australian. Will cement Commonwealth Conspiracy and bring much-needed fabulousness to the ticket.Disadvantages: Can't think of a one. Oh yeah, the Christian Coalition won't go for it... ... ...like I said, can't think of a one.
Advantages:
Looking for work. Will make Bill look good.Disadvantages
: Might accept the position if offered.
Patrick Stewart
"Just...wear the rug...dammit!" Pre-inauguraton jitters for the Shatner-Stewart ticket.
Advantages:
(See Leonard Nimoy.)Disadvantages:
(See Leonard Nimoy). Also: Refuses to wear toupee, clearly violating the foundation principles of the Shatner Party.
Monica Lewinsky
Advantages:
Accustomed to working under men named Bill.Disadvantages:
Might undermine the mature gravity and thoughtful decorum of our campaign.
Hillary Clinton
Hey, she's been through enough crap already; we're not going to make her wait next to Monica in our list! Besides, she deserves her own special place in the pantheon of second-to-Bills. Click
HERE for the Bill-n-Hill Superticket Spectacular!Bill Shatner
Advantages:
Dazzlingly handsome son-of-a-gun with enough charm and je-ne-sais-quois for TWO candidates!Disadvantages
: NONE. After all, who ever heard of too much Shatner?Bill+Bill in 2000!
Auugh! Take me away from the Kingdom of the Spiders and.....