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If you consider yourself qualified as GRADUATE OF THE MONTH (wherever you are, here or abroad), kindly send us a copy of your curriculum vitae, scanned picture/s and a Short Essay.
Short Essay- Topic: "The most significant achievement in my life"
Length of at least one thousand (1,000) words.
Graduate of the Month (Month of April)
-Bachelor of Science in Commerce, 1967
-TIP ALUMNI INTERNATIONAL
-RUBY ANNIVERSARY AWARDEE (2002)
Sent : Tuesday, February 10, 2004 7:21 AM
To : tipqcaa@hotmail.com
Subject : a chapter
Just want to share this chapter of my book i recently finished. For comments, please email me at : nvillami@calpoly.edu or NIEVESVILLAMIN@AOL.com
Thanks.
Nieves Catahan Villamin
In 1966, I received my Bachelor’s degree in Accounting at the Technological Institute of the Philippines. The diploma earned me an unexpected promotion from Engineer Demetrio A. Quirino, Jr., the school president. Engr. Quirino appointed me as the Chief Accountant of the school and as an added bonus was assigned a few teaching units shortly after graduation. I felt good about myself because the school president who I will always remember as a risk taker and a visionary trusted me. He did likewise to all his protégés, giving them the chance of a lifetime, education and the opportunity to ride to the top with him. He introduced entrepreneurship and encouraged us to become stockholders of the school because he envisioned the school rising to unbelievable heights. I bought into his dream. Through salary deduction, I started investing for my future. I was working in professional heaven while struggling in a personal hell.
Benny asked me to have lunch with him the day after Valentine’s Day. I turned him down and I sat at my desk, worried once again about Benny and what might happen down the road. Then the phone rang, bringing me back to reality. A young man named Danny was calling, asking for help. His brother was enrolled at school and needed an immediate release of his transcripts. Danny offered to come by later that day to see me. As a result of an early promotion, I was usually at the office until around eight each night. I agreed to help him.
Around seven, a young, slender man stepped through the front door of our office. He was just under six feet tall and fair skinned. He was skinny, but muscular and both his walk and manner suggested a strong sense of confidence. He had a crooked smile and boyish looks. I thought he was very handsome.
Our exchange was brief, but the first impression was lasting, and apparently mutual. In the weeks to come, I would see more and more of Danny, peeking his head inside the office at night, on his way to class. I learned that he was asking his professors about me, trying to learn my name — they tried to gently discourage him by suggesting that a staff member would never become involved with a student. That only made Danny even more determined. Unable to contain his feelings any longer, Danny finally showed up in our office one night, first approaching my colleague Edna at her desk.
“What’s her name?” he asked Edna, trying not to draw my attention to him. She decided to play along. “Why do you want to know?” Danny did not hesitate in his response. “Because I plan to marry her someday.” Edna was not impressed. “Fine. Then why don’t you go ask her yourself?” That is exactly what he did, walking straight in my direction as a surprised Edna chased along behind him. Reaching my desk, he extended his right hand. I was surprised to look down to see a small box of “Black Magic” chocolate in his hand. The oddest sensation came over me. My mouth felt dry and I became light-headed. The office suddenly seemed a little warm. Our eyes met, and as corny as it may sound, I knew right away that my prince had finally arrived. After introducing himself, Danny admitted he had a confession to make. “When I first called you, I told you that I needed a transcript for my brother. To be honest, that brother doesn’t exist. I kept seeing you everyday in the office and I just wanted to meet you. Please don’t be upset.” How could I be upset? This young man standing before me was an answer to a prayer, actually many prayers over the years. But Danny’s unannounced, dramatic arrival only complicated my life even more. The thought of going back to Benny after meeting Danny was completely out of the question. Meeting Danny had been a critical sign in my life. I had to make a complete break with Benny before I could give my heart to Danny. This would not be easy. Most likely, it would be dangerous. The next day, I packed a pair of shears in my purse before heading to campus. I boarded a nearly-empty jeepney and sat down. Within minutes, Benny jumped inside, plopping down next to me, trying to once again talk to me. I would have no more of this. “Benny,” I said, trying my best to remain calm. “I don’t want you following me anymore.” He seemed surprised. “And why is that?” “Because I’m getting married soon.” I saw the flash of anger in Benny’s eyes as my words sank in. He tried to grab my hands, but I had intentionally already placed them inside my purse. He tried to force me out of the jeepney as it began pulling away from the curb. I pulled out the shears and pointed them directed at Benny. “Don’t you ever touch me again!” I yelled in my strongest voice possible. Benny looked at me. Then at the shears. Then back at me. The other passengers on board began screaming at the sight of the shears. It did not take long for Benny to make up his mind. He jumped off the jeepney nearly as fast as he had jumped on. I never saw him again.
Four months later, Danny and I were married.
An Unconventional Wedding
Our quick trip to the altar should come of no surprise. After all, Danny was very determined to marry me. No hint of disappointment appeared on my face as we planned our wedding, a ceremony somewhat unconventional and much different from what I had fantasized as a young adult.
The romantic side of most Filipino women traditionally longs for a good old traditional wedding with all sorts of lavish pomp and circumstance. We can all dream, of course, but the reality was usually different, especially in my family. Ateng Macaria, Ditse Clarita, and Julianne all eloped and later were declared legal wives by a judge or minister. Their marriages never had the official blessing of the Catholic Church.
The church influence in the traditional courtship and marriage was very much prevalent in Sumacab. Growing up and watching others go through it, I thought of the whole process as something out of the movies. Like most girls my age, I engaged in various dreams and fantasies about what my wedding would be like. To me, the perfect courtship had been between Ditse Clarita and her first boyfriend Pascual.
I can remember Pascual showing up late in the evening with some friends and a guitarist to serenade my sister. Crooning a few love songs as he stood underneath our window, Pascual was not afraid to let the entire village knows his feelings and desires. My father would step outside with a kerosene lamp so that the men could be seen before Clarita welcomed them into our living room.
When Pascual visited like this, they never held hands, nor kissed. Only an exchange of longing stares across the room could convey their feelings. They understood each other almost immediately and Pascual was ready to move to the next level of courtship where he was obligated to win my parents approval through a series of daunting chores. He went to the store to fetch food or provided an extra pair of hands for father in the field. Whatever was needed, Pascual was expected to be there and prove how dependable he could be.
Soon thereafter, Pascual officially proposed to Clarita and was elated with her positive response. One evening, after the December harvest, Pascual’s parents formally did Pamanhikan and asked Tatang for my sister’s hand in marriage, bringing along poultry and fruits and rice grains as a sign of good faith. The wedding would be simple, but it was the groom’s obligation to pay for all the expenses. Ditse Clarita’s traditional wedding and courtship became the envy of all unmarried Sumacab women (and perhaps a few married ones, as well!). Pascual was perfect husband potential and the embodiment of an ideal Filipino youth: respectable, principled, handsome and hardworking. There was only one drawback. Pascual was politically active and, like Tatang, a member of HUKS, which means he had more than his shar eof enemies. On a cold morning in March 1952, Pascual’s bullet-riddled body was found dumped in the riverbank. Clarita was silent at the news, too shocked to reveal her pain publicly. A few years later, she eloped with another man and had a civil ceremony — there would be no elaborate courtship this time around. Clarita and Pascual hung in the back of my mind as Danny and I tried to plan our own wedding. At the time, we were both employed so we had accumulated some meager savings on which to build our marriage. This was our future we were planning, therefore asking for financial help from others was simply out of the question. Danny’s family came from an equally poor background and his father died when Danny was only seven, so it was silly to expect any money from them. Tradition dictated that the groom’s family cover the expense of the wedding, but that would only sink them further into needless debt. For what? Tradition? Instead, we agreed to use our small savings account to finance the wedding. On July 9, 1968, we secretly exchanged vows before a judge. After the Catholic Church sanctified our marriage on January 6, 1969, we lived together as husband and wife. At first, I was hesitant to be tied down because it was my turn to give back to the family like my Kuya Lino and Sanse Conchita did. However, Danny convinced me our marriage would not be a deterrent in fulfilling my family obligations.
I was not surprised when most of my family gave our marriage the cold shoulders. To soothe their displeasure, I decided not to lay claim to all the material things (narra dining table and chairs, wall clock, television, and a sewing machine) I had purchased before I got married. Those things were not important — I was fighting for my happiness. When Ammie started college a year later, I owned up to my responsibility again, withdrawing all my investments at the university to pay for her four-year college tuition. Only then did my family warm-up to our marriage. Danny and I were married in a church with less pomp and circumstance that might have been expected. I took care of my own simple wedding dress and shoes. Danny provided his own clothes, as well. Our combined savings was enough to pay the cook and her staff, plus the food, wedding cake, photography and other basic expenses. The flower girls and the bridesmaid did not have matching dresses. There was no open carriage to deliver me to the church. A friend of a friend of a friend loaned us yet another friend’s car to take the bridal party to the chapel. No firecrackers in the churchyard announced my arrival. There was not even a band playing. All I had that day was an army of friends and relatives whose love propelled me through a day filled with equal doses of laughter and tears. One part of the ceremony remained very special, despite our minimal budget. Waiting for me in front of everyone was my handsome groom. When I saw Danny’s smile, I knew we would be together for the rest of our lives. What I didn’t know that day was how quickly our lives would change. A new chapter was about to begin. A new land was calling.
Ground Floor Building IV, TIP QC Campus,
938 Aurora Boulevard, Cubao, Quezon City, Philippines
Mobile No.: 00(63) 920 - 8140783
e-mail address: tipqcaa@hotmail.com
