Hash Report - Apr 7




Hash Report - April 14

Easter Hare run.  Now many were in deep trouble/consideration concerning this last hash. Even 6 minutes before start, when the Hash master in vain tried to leave his home and still remember everything: plastic bags, cups, left-over/forgotten things, eggs [both the real ones + the chocolate ones..] he phoned SpankMeHard, who reported some 20 people gathering. A delay was inevitable due to Linda's well deserved holiday in Italy, the Chow situation (=food!) was approaching panic levels in the hour before the hash.
But due to a great effort from Mariola and Berti, the Red Cross driver, 66 sanwiches managed to come along on the trip.
Anyway, 100 hard-boiled eggs could have helped the situation, if not they
had been intended for some other use.......

Petrela castle, Skenderbeg's sister waiting for us. I don't know, what kind of stories could have been made up, if we hadn't left France 98...... Yes, it was Petrela. "We have been here before". "Hrmmmmpff!" "Eggman..." - lots of comments from 48 hashers. (Yes forty-eight - quite good for an Easter Saturday hash!) Arriving at the small village, occupying any empty space, where a vehicle could be  could be parked, SpankMeHard sent the group out
on trails, which were intertwining the walkers' and runners' trail several times. Great to be able to say hello every now and then.

SpankMeHard had a difficult time as Hare Raiser (hair-razor), while he is used to be in front arguing with WrongWay on which one is the right way. As Hair Razor he needed to let others find the trail, while he could wait behind. However, at a certain point a little too musch behind, when
(.......and I won't say who - could harm my reputation) a runner spotted a flour mark 40 feet below the runners trail....and like a flock of sheep (almost uttering the same sounds) the runers followed ahead....finally the Colonel shouted back, back...because the mark was for the walkers' trail.
HOWEVER, big respect to the hares, SpankMeHard and Mr. PingPong for their, well-marked trails. I am sorry....what happened on the walkers' trail is
unknown to me...but the trip was so well-timed that everyone were back at the cars within a very few minutes. Impressing!

Petrela is known from the Elbasan road, but not so much from the backside. Nice job, folks!

The circle brought forth returners, virgins etc. Amongst the virgins a
couple were interesting. To invite innocent colleagues to a hash without tellling about the walk, just the beer is perhaps a bit............(judge yourselves!) Anyway, Walther from CARE will have to find a solution.Remorse? don't think so! And Sergio from????? with a previous Hash experience from Kuala Lumpur (where hash was born) and a previous hashname "Walk it!" (who believed him?) - welcome to!
After some people had been voluntarily forced, SpankMeHard could present a list of hares for the coming Hashes (+/- 2.5 month). Only the coming hashes
were difficult to cover (however a soulution has been found). People, who are willing to hare a hash now have the opportunity to learn, 'be taken by the hand'...just talk to the Hare Raiser!

A couple of handcuffs found their owner. After a sick story about the spray that....gives life to dead hair (hare)...the circle lined up (well a circle is also a line.......just going around) for an eggstra competition in egg-throwing. Quite a few hashers lived up to the old saying:"...aims well, but hits poorly!" (Goes especially for mr. PingPong, who almost deliberately hit the Hashmaster with a screwing egg) MountTheDog, Boomless and WrongWay did a nice job and won the chocolate eggs. Except the fact that some wanted an advantage and have an egg-stra egg (they were of course eggs-cluded)- everyone seemed to have fun, which was the reason why.............! HASHERS, DOGS, KIDS....Nothing was left, egg-cept the shells. Even the garbage was kindly removed by...MAPE ("MudAndPlastEggstermination"), I

A couple of things:
1)  May 12 will be the first anniversary hash this year: 333 hashes ever in Albania!! A special Durres-hash will be set up for that day (together with
the grill etc.)- early departure, leave space in the calendar!!!!!
2)  Without being accused of fruit-porridge-sentimental attitude, let me bring to your attention that newcomers in some cases have felt a bit outside
the first time they are along, due to the 'everybody seems to know
everybody already'-syndrome. May I suggest extra attention to the newcomers - at least on their first hash(es)
3)  I will be out for 2 coming hashes (pyramids, 38 degrees, forgetting Albania...). The hashmaster function will be taken care of by BoringMrPlod, who just returned from his break. Until May....ciao from Premature/HashMaster

Hash Report - Apr 21

Let me tell you a tale of a Hash. It started on Wednesday April 18th, when the fair maiden DurresPrudence, the leader of men Spank Me Hard and gnarly Master Ping Pong set off on a grand adventure. Out the Rruga Elbasanit they drove, turning left at the great white rock and continuing on to the village of Pellumbas.  Once there, the scouted for hours and finally settled on a preliminary course.
Early Saturday morning Spank Me Hard, Master Ping Pong and Hare in Training, Elvis once more went to the Village of Pellumbas and braving dangers too numerous and too chilling to mention, they set a near perfect hash. There were separate starting trails for the runners and the walkers. Spank Me Hard set off on the runners trail with his able local assistant, 11 year old Julian. Elvis and the Master set the walkers initial portion and then once again they joined in the village and finished the trail, a job well done. Time for the meeting at the France 98. 
It was a dark and dreary afternoon. The rain fell in sheets and bursts. A brave few, 28 in number assembled for this ultimate adventure. Mounting up in the vehicles they drove through the rain to the start of this hash.
The runners took off down the road, the walkers started down the rocky pre-Jurassic formations and then followed what had been earlier in the day a small stream but was now a raging beast. Braving a daring crossing they traveled to the river where minutes earlier they observed the fleet of foot runners pass. Up the river they traveled, through the fields, observing majestic waterfalls and once again crossing a raging stream. This time, Master Ping Pong and Elvis assisted some of the Hashettes across the stream by carrying them in their brawny arms. Then we started up the mountain trail that, by the way, the secret of which was bought from a local herder for the exorbitant price of two cigarettes. We climbed to the heights of the mountain, into the clouds and then we came back down through the village to the circle.
The hares, to include Julian, were called into the circle by the first ˝ of “2-B’s In a Bod” and the crowd went wild. Those brave 28, undaunted by weather that cowed the many cheered and screamed and gave the hares 10’s, 12’s and higher for their efforts and the scenery of the hash. The hares humbly drank their down-down and bowing their heads, left the circle.
Master Ping Pong then called the entire core of runners, to include Spank Me Hard, into the circle and denounced them all as sinners. It turned out that at no time what-so-ever did they follow the preset trail. They ran and ran and ran, the Gods only know where, but they did finish so they penitently drank their due and retired in their disgrace.
Immediately following this, Master Ping Pong, Elvis and the 4 damsels the gallant men had carried across the raging stream, were called sinners and they nobly drank a down-down. 
There were no virgins, take what you like from that statement, there were several returnees, who one and all gave lame excuses and they too had to drink.
There was a double naming. Ms.Silva Braculla, who was accused of trying to always smash the toes of another hasher was unanimously voted the name “Ball Buster” (I’m sure referring to the ball of the foot). Bryce Meeker, who at the time was draped with a curiously brown stained towel from the Rogner Hotel, was aptly named “Skidmark”.
Enough was enough and it was time for food and drink. Since the hares had planned for 80 hashers, not knowing the “wimpness” that ran rampant in club, there was more than ample food, French baguette sandwiches and coolers filled with ICED down beer. When asked where they had obtained the ice, Master Ping Pong was heard to state that the hares had climbed to the mountain peaks and hand carried the ice to the circle for these brave few. All knew he was lying out his ass and many told him so.
Soon it was time leave and we did. Thus ends the tale of those few, brave, noble hashers.
Next weeks hash will be set by the ever-lovely Aussie, Ghost Mistress.

Hash Report - Apr 28

And so it was that the hashers finally felt the warmth of the spring sunshine on the back of their necks.  Off they went along Rruga Kavajes and down an oft-used track to the base of rolling scrub-covered hills.  The bog that doubled as a car park was fine providing you weren't driving a 5 tonne Chevrolet Suburban and your name wasn't Master Ping Pong!!  The hashers had lots of great ideas for removing the beast from the bog, but as nobody actually lifted a finger to help, there it stayed until after the hash.
Ghost Mistress was very honest about the fact that 'stuff all' organisation had been done for the hash, but was confident enough to send the runners
off in the direction of the nearest escarpment.  The mystery hare that headed off with the runners managed to conceal his identity long enough to set the runners on a number of false trails and into a number of amusing situations.  When FUZZY BALLS (or is it furry balls??) finally announced he
was the masochist who set the trail, the runners had an outlet for their angst, promising to have him in the circle for a coupla down downs. Honestly guys, the goats did eat the trail markings.
And now for the novel concept introduced by Ghost mistress on the walker's trail - a live hare!!  Ably assisted by Dog Mounter, the live hare set off into the hills, managing to find a great trail that went on up to a high level ridgeline, and then straight back down to the valley below.  The
walkers came in at the 1 hr 10 min mark, sweating like summer had just begun....
Around the green hepatitis and frog - filled pond the hashers gathered.  In the continued absence of the HashMaster, Boring Mr Plod took control of the
circle.  Who would've thought there'd still be virgins left in Tirana??  A number of returners (suckers) and a few sinners completed the circle.  And
as the sun beat down, sandies and cake were served to the hungry mob, who were surprised to see that hash sandwiches do not need to contain french fries or salmonella.
Saturday's extravaganza - Dog Mounter and Yakkety Yak!!

  Photos April 7


Photos - April 21


Photos - Apr 28