This page is dedicated to my best friend, Steve Dwarvenbeard. Steve was born in some hick-ass, back-water town in Alabama. We met in 8th grade at an ice fishing contest. I won ofcourse, but I realized he had heart because he vowed to rape my mother..and he did! In high school, we used to circle jerk and on the nerdy kids. We were in the Vietnam the damn rice patties! Fighting for the damn hippies with their lack of soap and their gay sex. We've been through a lot together. So, check out this page and get acquainted with Steve and our whacky endeavors!
Here's a great picture of Ol' Steve. We like it because he's clean and distinguished looking. He was also pointing at a potential rape victim.
My friend Steve Dwarvenbeard. He's a homeless pornstar with every STD. We've been through lost When we DP'ed my mistress, she and I got diseased! We were cured with an ancient baby maro remedy. It was served sushi style with orange sauce.
Here's Steve without his beard. It took us 2 hours to shave off all the pube-like hair. We also had to steal those clothes from a morgue to make sure he was dressed nice. He had to be fixed up for a particular date rape. He got caught, and almost got arrested, but the cop was into watching forced sex.
This was the most recent picture of Steve Dwarvenbearn. As you can see, he was deep in thought. He had his pants around his ankles and was having me and a stranger trying to guess which STD was flaring up. We agreed it was the AIDS again... And we were right on! Yeah!
Here's a pic of Steve and I in a play called, "Hey, Kids! Yo, Minorites! You Both Have Something In Common! You Want To Smoke! You Need To Smoke! So, Steal A Pack Of Cigarettes And Start Puffing!" It was a short play with a long name..
Steve's trying out the first water bong ever! We made it after we got back from the 'Nam. He had some left over refer and wanted to smoke it a new way. We got so fucked up! 'Nam grass is goood!
Here's Steve and I in our younger days after 'Nam. We were 'Tard Ranglers. It was a fun, rewarding job and Steve got a lot of drooly date rape sex. He's such a funny guy! Steve and his ol' date rape!
Steve as a shadowy figure raping someone. He really knew how to make an appearance when it came to him getting ass illegally.
Here's Steve and I playing table tennis. I'm the stud in the turtle neck. Steve's wearing his "too smart for rape" glasses in this pic. One of our opponents asked if either of us would lure a girl into the back of a van and make her lick maple syrup off our ass cracks.. Steve put up his paddle and said, "Did it!" I was smiling thinking of the time Muk Muk talked about doing it.. but she's allergic to syrups.
This pic was taken a year and half after the table tennis one. Steve went missing and he was presumed dead and very toxic. We ended up returning a huge rape binge. He said Disneyworld is like Willy  Wonka's Chocolate Factory for him... meaning you can indulge en mass but have to pay for the consequences.
Steve in his S&M phase.. He was poor as fuck, but he'd go into those dungeons and would beat the hell outta people and rob them of their fetish garments. Notice he's wearing anitomicly incorrect clothing and gloves.. I don't know why.. but notice it.
Steve with another unique beard. We got all fucked up on booze, bud, and pain killers and took a hedge trimmer to Steve's 4 foot long beard. This pic was taken the next day and as you can tell, Steve was pissed about his beard. All we could say was, "How's Cuba Fidel Castro-Beard?" He hated that joke.
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This is Steve's late-wife, whatever her name was. She was almost ten when they met. He loved her inability to dress and her homelessness. In this picture, he was trying to cop-a-feel while she was stoned off paint thinner and ex-lax. He sealed the deal when he gave her a Skittle, convinced her it was a roofie, and proceded to date rape her in the street. It was like love at first inapporiate touch. It was a magical night for the both of them. A match made in heaven!
Steve's late-wife after she had their baby. She was a lovely 13 year old mother.This picture was taken right before we shoved her over the canyon. We don't like to talk about this.. It's sad now.. Oh yeah, the baby went over too. I meant to grab it.. it was like throwing money into a toilet.