November

Thoughts

fo shizzle...it's what's crackalakin

November 30, 2001

Today had to be the sweetest day of my life. didn't feel like MY life for a minute. people like me aren't used to feeling so special, so it was nice. :) i got up in the morning, went to the bathroom, then went back to my room to find a card and a freshly plucked rose on my bed from my parents. awww.....then i got to school....jamie gave me a car air freshener of homer pointing to his butt...it's vanilla scent :-D and i got sung happy birthday to really loudly in the hallway, so i ran away. in chem II we watched CSI...great way to start the day....traci and jennifer got me flowers....i've never gotten flowers in my entire life (besides the rose in the morning), so this was especially unexpected. so went to lit, and had a semi/mini-birthday party while opening presents from navyata and lisa......inflatable scooby doo with inflatable gloves to beat him up with....:-D lunch was grand, then i got home. I then talked to all familial members, and this in itself made up an exceptional element to my day, cause my family is just exceptionally heartwarming....they don't even have to do anything, just talking to them is a gift in itself. (i wuv you guys!!) momz and popz got a cake, i blew out the candle, and mommy started clapping hysterically and yelling "yaay" to compensate for the lack of people around, lol, just me and them. it was sweet as hell. in all seriousness, i started off the day thinking, damn, just another b-day....cause i'm so used to having absolutely nothing happen to me, however, today was great. for everyone that made it great for me, i'm much obliged. you are the light of my life, the moonlight of my night, the warmth of my chilly....uh....i can't think of anything to go that's chilly. you give meaning to my life, and i appreciate your existence within it. :-D the weather was awesome today too. cloudy, dark, breezy, and room temperature outside. just what i love.....i spent my time at home inflating scooby while destroying my lungs...now tomorrow, i gotta get the gloves done, and i'll be set to kick some doggy arse!! currently, my eyes are swelling....allergic reaction to something or the other....lol..you would laugh so hard if only you could see me now :)

November 29, 2001

mera naam chin chin chu, chin chin chu, baba chin chin chu. raat chandni mein aur tu, hello mister, how do you do? was a grand day. Now i must go.

November 28, 2001

twas a horribly bad day. however, me no complain cause there's no one to blame. everyone in my family is sick. to all of you, i understand your pain, and i hope you allz get better soon. i have bulghum in my chest...then 3rd period, i started getting really bad chills...even though it wasn't cold and a head ache...this persisted through lunch...then after lunch during 4th period, i got sleepy, then 5th period, i started getting bigger head ache and i felt myself getting really hot, flushed, and feverish...., then 6th period, we had a test and i kept coughing, and i have a feeling everyone got annoyed of my disgusting, manly cough. and i spent about 25 min after school trying to finish the test, but i had to leave before i could... :( the only reason i didnt' go home is because if i don't miss more than 2 days, i won't have to take any of my exams, so i stayed and suffered. i just happy i's home now. me go lie down......i remained lying down for over 2 hours....it did wonders for my head. anyhoo, i just had a thought. it's weird, i figured i had just forgotten how to think, but for whatever reason, lately, i've been thinking a lot. so here it is: based on certain people that i know who are going through trying times in their lives due to love, i've been pondering the subject quite a bit. my theory is that god does make a "soul mate" for each and every person, however, he doesn't take into consideration religion, color, or cast while doing this...he pairs people up based on their souls, not their appearance. So in other words, there IS someone on the face of the earth meant for you...the difficulty lies in having to look past religious beliefs and race in order to see a person's true identity...we shouldn't let petty differences keep us from finding that gay thing called "true love." However, since we are merely humans living in an imperfect society, we are unable to do so because we use our beliefs and races as a means of identifying who we are, as a means of differentiation, and as a means of separating ourselves from those who are different from us. thus, it is impossible for us to find that "special someone" and we are destined to settle for people that we can barely stand. :-p...ok, now that i just read over what i typed, i think it just sounded better in my head....perhaps it's all the lemonade i've been drinking that has gotten my cranial juices flowing.

November 27, 2001

golly good dang diddly, this month went by in a flash. me had a dream last night that some freddy krueger/jason/michael myers type character was coming for me. so i was preparing to die....except he never showed up...i then proceeded to mcdonald's for lunch...:-D...heeheehaha. HAHA, i'm stupid......dekho chhod ke kis raste wo jaate hain...saare raste wapas mere dil ko aate hain....nahin saamne, nahin......saamne ye alag baat hai....nahin saamne, nahin saamne ye alag baat hai....mere paas hai, mere paas hai.......tu mere paas hai......mere paas hai tu mere paas hai......mere saath hai,mere saath hai
...tera naam maine liya hai yahan....mujhe yaad tune kiya hai wahan....tera naam maine liya hai yahan....mujhe yaad tune kiya hai wahan.....bade zor ki aaj barsaat hai.....bade zor ki aaj barsaat haaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......mere paas hai tu mere paas hai, mere paas hai tu mere paas hai.....mere saath hai, mere saath hai....priyaseeeiiiiii .......bichhad ke bhi mujhse juda tu nahin......khafa hai magar bewafa tu nahin......bichhad ke bhi mujhse juda tu nahin.......khafa hai magar bewafa tu nahin......mere haath mein hi tera haath hai, mere haath mein hi tera haath hai ........mere paas hai tu mere paas hai, mere paas hai tu mere paas hai.....mere saath hai, mere saath hai......mere.....pass hai, mere pass hai.....mere saath hai, mere saath hai......mere pass hai, mere pass hai..............i'm getting extremely impatient in my wait to see if i'm accepted to tech or uga...being that i'm not a very patient person to begin with, i am currently going through emotional hell while worrying about getting accepted. i don't know, perhaps emotional hell is a bit too extreme...perhaps just psychological turmoil is the appropriate thing to describe my current state of mind.

November 26, 2001

haahahaheeeeheheehe.....i'm stupid. dhekte hi dhekte dil ko gayaaaaaaa.......i don't feel like typing the rest of the song. anyhoo.....was a typical day. i felt rather sick in the morn', however, as the day progressed, my head felt less pressurized. however, my nose is still crusty-fied, and my lungs still feel heavy, thus it tis hard to breath. bobby coming on saturday..... it seems surreal that the 2 years of this drama that has been accumulating will be coming alive so soon.....i feel relief that they coming, yet, still a bit scared. don't know why i is scared, prolly just the typical fear of the unknown. me had a dream last night that i was digging holes in our front lawn to plant some trees, but then i realized that i had no trees to plant. "To dream that you are digging, signifies that you are working too hard in trying to uncover the truth in a problem that is haunting you. You may also be preoccupied with trying to find out about yourself , your reputation, and your self-identity." oky doky..........my epiphany (while talking to moon about occurances between the cousins this past weekend): over the past year, all the cousins have gotten extremely tight due mainly to the wonderous magic of online ansari chat rooms....however, while in person, we all just sit in silence and look down at our feet. it's like we all want to talk...but just the fact that everyone makes such a big deal about it i think is why we don't....it don't matter what the elder folks think, it's our time to do what we feel is right. himat rakho, merey saathi loag! :-D

November 25, 2001

i'm a sick little bugger.

November 24, 2001

made brownies in morning....then just sat there and watched it....heeheeeheeee....amber is the flying dutchman mohsaaaand.

November 23, 2001

nadia is batman....and i was called a shia.

November 22, 2001

went to tn....lol, we watched home videos in silence.....we then proceeded to have discussions....it is superbly the grandest thing in the world when you're around family...there just ain't nothing else quite as wonderful.

November 21, 2001

Jimmy cracked corn......and i couldn't give a damn if i tried.......cause we going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 20, 2001

This was prolly the most boring day of my life. well....ok, so lunch was fun...and in calculus we just sat and talked about careers and that horrid thing called the future...and so once again, things seemed surreal. cause i just kept thinking about how in under a year, we'll all be in different places, pursuing various things....and it was just a sad thought. anyhoo, i had a dream about waterfalls, diamonds, and colorful flowers last night (compare this dream to the hobbling baby, heheee). according to dreammoods: To see colorful flowers in your dream, signifies kindness, compassion, gentleness, pleasure, beauty, and gain. It is also symbol of perfection and spirituality. It may be an expression of love, joy or happiness.......To see a waterfall in your dream, symbolizes beauty and grace. It may represent your goals and desires.....To dream that you own diamonds, denotes great honor and recognition from high places. You will also find clarity in matters that have been clouding you.......PSSSSSSSSSSSHHHH!!!!!!!..........ok, i in better mood now cause we going to TENNESSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! TUM KO PATHA HAI!??!?!?

November 19, 2001

nothing happened today....HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY: someone just called me ....it was an airforce recruiter...i told him i couldn't hear him...and i hung up. i'm also trying to wait patiently for a freakin response from colleges...grr.........tun tunak tun tun tunak tun tun tunak tun tun.

November 18, 2001

qual es la fecha de hoy?........masala makes my tastebuds do the bhangra....they go "o balle balle balle!"

November 17, 2001

I had a dream last night...or this morning, i can't tell the difference. anyhoo, a baby with no legs hobbled up to me, shook my hand, laughed, and hobbled away........some aunty just called and told me my mummy is crazy......anyhoo, back to the dream. according to dreammoods.com, "To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. A love affair may be blooming for you in your near future. You will also make new and fun friends." love affair and new friends.......HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA..........poppycock, hogwash, and nicklepooey. pssssssshhhhhh!!

November 16, 2001

twas a typical day, except for the fact that Ramzaan started and i saw a mouse in the kitchen early thing morning.....i was sitting there eating, and looking at the floor...and i saw this grayish brown thing just shoot across the floor...i thought at first that it was some type of albino roach...but then i saw a little mousy's head sticking outta the dining room. then i said, "mom, there's a mouse." then all hell broke loose.. :-D this was the highlight of my entire day....ooops....just caught myself chewing on my shirt

November 15, 2001

another regular ol' day. "so beat it, but you wanna be bad...just beat ittttt...beat itt...no one wants to be defeated...show em how funky, strong is your might...it doesn't matter who's wrong or right, just beat it." lol, while listening to this song rather loudly, the phone rang, and it was some aunty....heehee, she couldn't hear me over the music...oops. "pehla nasha, pehla khumaaar, naya pyaar haiiiiiii, naya intezaar. karlu mein kya apna haal, eh dil hai bequaraar. mere dil hai beqaraar. tu hi bathaaaaa.......urr tha hi piru in hawao mein kahi..yah mein jhool jau in ghatau mein kahi...ek kardu aasmaan aur zameen? kaho yaaro kya karu, kya nahi....pehla nasha, pehla khumaaaaaaarrrr." haha...just been informed that the woman/aunty on the phone was mati chacha's wife.....lol, double oops. oh yeah, at lunch and in lit, we discussed how little children, preferably babies would make an excellent source of dietary sustenance....heehee...don't ask me...ask that limey writer jonathan swift.

November 14, 2001

twas another normal day. was a good normal day, however. dheka tumko jabse, bas dheka tum ko yaara.....tumse koi acha hai, na tumse koi pyaara. yu nazree na pero tum, mere ho mere tum! kehdo na, kehdo na, you are my SONIYA!!!!!!! tis a fine and dandy song. lemme think and see if anything profound occurred today....chem..comp....c i....lunch....lit...physics...cal...twas just dandy. i don't know why i say twas and tis. perhaps i've gone mad. or perhaps i'm just so stupid i'm trying to mask my ignorance with fluffy words. i'm going nuts for michael jackson songs...can't seem to get anything else in my head. been singing billy jean and beat it all day long. someone help me. i need to see a good indian movie or else i'll go crazy. only one more month till k3g.... :-D oooooooh...deewanaapan is out friday... :-D not like it does me much good :-p

November 13, 2001

be happy for me, i almost beat someone up... if the bastard hadn't have walked by so fast, he woulda gotten his ass busted up. you'd think of all people, blacks would be more understanding of race related issues... but apparantly this does not apply to this particular limey bastard. :-D....in lit we saw a video on holocaust...i then wondered to myself why i'm so special that i have the priveledge of a house, and freedom, and food...i'm just nobody...i then proceeded to be ashamed for wasting my time worrying and stressing over calculus so much, cause life could be a lot worse................we were acutally taught in physics...i learned that when being chased by an alligator, one should do the following: 1) run away in a zig-zag motion, or 2) do the hokey pokey so the alligator will get confused and go "eh?"

November 12, 2001

We did an interview for the school news today.....you never really know how ugly you are until you see yourself on tv... :-D other than that...the day was typical. oh yeah...i think i'm over it.....be happy for me :-D to anyone reading this .........i appreciate your existence in my life...you give meaning to my everyday existence...hence, i love you all... :-D

November 11, 2001

la la la, what a world...............michael jackson goes "heeheeeheeeeeeeee." She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene I said don't mind, but what do you mean I am the one Who will dance on the floor in the round She said I am the one who will dance on the floor in the round She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene Then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of being the one Who will dance on the floor in the round People always told me be careful of what you do And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts And mother always told me be careful of who you love And be careful of what you do 'cause the lie becomes the truth...Billie Jean is not my lover She's just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son For forty days and forty nights The law was on her side But who can stand when she's in demand Her schemes and plans 'Cause we danced on the floor in the round So take my strong advice, just remember to always think twice (Do think twice) She told my baby that’s a threat As she looked at me Then showed a photo of a baby cries Eyes would like mine Go on dance on the floor in the round, baby People always told me be careful of what you do And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts She came and stood right by me Then the smell of sweet perfume This happened much too soon She called me to her room Billie Jean is not my lover She's just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son Billie Jean is not my lover She's just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son Billie Jean is not my lover She's just a girl who claims that I am the one But the kid is not my son She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son She says I am the one, she says he is my son She says I am the one Billie Jean is not my lover Billie Jean is not my lover Billie Jean is not my lover Billie Jean is not my lover Billie Jean is not my lover Billie Jean is not my lover

November 10, 2001

golly, it's hard to believe it's already the tenth....i don't wanna graduate... :( i don't wanna leave my friends.... :( just when i actually started to enjoy my time at school, my days there are numbered.... :( ............... i'm gonna go crawl up into the fetal position and lay on my bed and listen to sad songs... :(

November 9, 2001

we had mutiny in physics today....twas rather interesting. since teacher only at school once this week and she gave us test today...(or left it with the sub since she no here)...so everyone plotted during homeroom to just protest, write their name on the paper and turn it in cause we were never taught how to do the damn junk...however, we were not united in our efforts, for the selfish folk decided to sign out.... :-p so...then...some of us had to argue with people and try to persuade them to take it since it would only make the teacher mad if we didn't do it.....anyhoo...i forgot my point in talking about this incident. MY PAPER'S DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. however, now that i'm free, i don't know what to do with my time. In lit today...we had a full class period to do any work we needed to do...kinda like a study hall... although we are always the first ones to complain about how we have no time...we just sat there and looked at each other, lol. such procrastination boggles my mind. elton john has a rather pleasant song entitled "I want love." I hear it in the car every morning....and every afternoon. tis funny yet sad at the same time. BILLY JEAN is the greatest song to listen to on a friday afternoon following eduactional, cranial emancipation.

November 8, 2001

Mrs. shrout is a goddess. the peril of the senior PAPER does not seem so petrifying anymore...however, since i'm such a geek, i'll be turning it in tomorrow for the 5 extra points, anyways. :-D today was the day we were taught something in physics...ain't it a miracle. there's no time to contemplate my future today, for i must go do my PAPER. and i shall do my PAPER until the wee hours of the morning....just to get 5 extra points... :-) who needs sleep? to my beloved familial comrades....i won't be on aim today...for i will be doing my PAPER. i love you all, however, i've procrastinated for the past month and a half...must do PAPER. :-)

November 7, 2001

i could care less what people say about me, because i'm used to the way i look....it's just me... so i shall love myself for who i am :-) so what if i am short, and i have rolls, and some plastic surgery wouldn't kill me? I'm uzma, and uzma is imperfect. :-D i have a massive paper due friday worth 25 percent of my grade....and i only have two paragraphs done...and i still have gobs of research to do. what am i currently doing? talking about the simpsons halloween special that was on last night with nado and izzatullah.....heehee....i'm not the only procrastinator. It's a broad thing...no one has done it.

November 6, 2001

nothing is going on in my mind, so get the hell outta here....wait...was that?....yes, i just had a thought. Since i HATE being around people...how the hell am i supposed to be a psych professor? i'm more of a sit at a desk and do stuff by myself kinda person...a "looser." perhaps computers shall be my thing...however, since i'm so dumb, i doubt i will be able survive a single class at tech on computer science. i like doing graphic designs...hmmm...anyone have suggestions to help my dim future...HELP MEEEEEE!!!!!.......i've gotten help. From Moon: "just be urself, i love uzma and only uzma. i don't care what size shape or form i just want you to be that cute,funny little uzma i always loved!!!!!!!!" I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what i become in the future....i'll still be meeeeeeeee!!!! yay for my extremely gay thoughts! .....my poll for the day: What shall i be when i grow old? 1. Faru says-- a portfolio manager, 2. Izzy says--a caterpillar.

November 5, 2001

spent the day contemplating the future with my fellow lost souls...twas a stressful day. i figured once i figured out my plan for life, i'd be set. however now, it's the steps to that goal that are tripping me up...it ain't gon be easy. while stopped at the stoplight on the way home...i decided to scream as loud as i can to let off some tension...i highly reccomend screaming at the top of your lungs as a stress releiver....hell, it worked for me. i'm currently eating pakorey to appease my mind. :-D ooooooooooooooooooooh....the 3rd K3G trailor is on indiafm.....hrithik is again wearing black leather as he did in chamakti shaam hai...however, he doesn't look too gay this time...well..i guess he does, but it's not half as bad as in yaadein. and as usual, kareena looks like a hoe. i haven't seen a new indian movie in like a month....i needs to get it together.....ooooooh...for all the males in my family who are in love wit arjun rampal...homey's new movie will be out on the 16th...and the trailors for it are on indiafm....title-deewanapan. his next movie will be out on my b-day :-D entitled moksha....:-D....forgot to mention- i spent last night gasping for breath and gagging while making nice tunes with my wheezy lungs...pecans- :(.....i feel like screaming again. what the hell am i supposed to do?!?! i'm kinda hoping tech doesn't accept me at this point. college is supposed to be about finding yourself, and who you are and that jank...i don't think i can do that unless i physically get away from everyone i know...however, being a good little desi girl, that can never happen. It is my kismat to live with family untill i get married off to some limey bastard fob that needs a green card to come to the states...then i shall make rotis for the rest of my life. the only way i can get away from this tragic future is if i can physically get away from everyone as soon as possible. it's not like i want to go drink and party or do anything bad, because i'm uzma, it is impossible for me to be so irresponsible. i just need to find out who the hell i am instead of trying to be what everyone else wants me to be. (sigh)....i really enjoy going to school now....and i'm not being sarcastic, i love going there. tis a magical land where everyone else is feeling exactly as i am....a place where i can talk about what i'm going through with people who are going through the same thing...a place where i'm not alone. (sigh) how ironic and sad is this?

November 4, 2001

SNL is great. I have a cheese skin....i don't have terribly interesting thoughts in the morning......HAAHHAHAHAHA....some cracker stole my uncles crackers...HAHAHAHAA........on another, more shameful note, i told lizer about my affections for droopy the animated dog...:(

November 3, 2001

I had an epiphany last night....i know what i want to do with the rest of my life....it is such a relief to finally have some sort of goal in life instead of wandering aimlessly day to day. taco bell folks gave me bad beans. sat was ok.....i bombed the math and aced the verbal. as usual. satII scores back....aced bio...so so in lit and writing. yay for me.... i have homework to do, but i can't concentrate because the teenagers across the street are having a very loud party...i want to call the po po... dammit...they can party all they want too...but the second they disturb my edumacation, it's on!! they are sophomores and freshmen, hence, i am agitated by thier lack of respect...it's not how ya look...it's all bout how you feel... and i feel pretty damn good about myself!!! :-D my reserach paper thesis= "The various peoples that have migrated to South Asia throughout history have brought with them a variety of traditions and cultural elements that ultimately amalgamated to influence the cuisine of modern day India and Pakistan." ...so basically...it's a six page pager probing the origins of daal

November 2, 2001

i'm hungry. yesterday was a good day. however, as i oftentimes spend a lot of time reflecting over my day while i procrastinate, i was unable to do so yesterday due to the gobs of work I had to do. but it truly was a good day. i'm hungry.

November 1, 2001

droopy was perhaps my favorite cartoon character of all time. go to www.cartoonnetwork.com and look up droopy. he's the man. he never smiles, but when he does, it's a treat. intelligent dog he is as well......After perhaps the worst day of this year, i've had the greatest day today. Started off my morning singing michael jackson sons, which of course, put me in a decent mood. we actually did creative work in comp apps, and in current issues, we had a rather interesting class discussion. lunch was grand, as usual, and lit was the same as it always is. However, physics was great today due to the fact that for half the class period, we had no teacher in the room. so the class basically ran amuck untill some teachers came to supervize the final half of the period...and in that period, we still ran amuck. It made my day to play tic tac toe, i spy, and hangman for a good 20 min. :D :D :D there's just something about being a senior and playing kindergartener games that brings me great joy. :D DROOPY. :D anyhoo, calculus was the same, except we went over the insane problems from the night before, and they didn't seem so insane anymore. and then when i got in the car to go back on, i turned the radio on, and lo and behold, BILLY JEAN was on!!!!!!! michael jackson's return has made not only my day, but my life. currently, i am eating m&m's as i sit here typing my lovely thoughts. DROOPY.....