1. Leave their car outside the post office with the keys in the ignition and '30,000 pounds worth of Birds of Norfolk books' in the boot.

2. Claim to kill a peasant and a donkey whilst holidaying in Tunisia.

3. Claim to kill a newly escaped gang of black youths whilst driving for a bird.

4. Deliberately offer lifts with no intention of driving themselves

5. Wear a disgusting shell suit to Anglesey in October 2001 and change half way through the day

6. Go year-listing every year

7. Set up a quiz and score the birding public on what type of cereal he eats whilst being chased around an observatory.

8. When being confronted by guards on the Jordan border, respond with the reply 'do you realize who I am?'

9. Go and allegedly 'year tick' a large swift on a different Orkney island instead of going for a first for Britain (or so it was thought at the time)

10. Visit a rare breeding raptor site in southern England and trample over the nesting area - then claim that he did nothing of the sort.