When talking to a Channel 4 reporter about the Flycatcher at Longstones, Scilly in October 1995: 'Well in my opinion the bird is at least 85% Collared Flycatcher but I can't be 100% sure'

When offering lifts on the pager: 'lift offered Bucks to ...... leaving now but never'

'I'm a legend in my own lifetime'

'Christ, you still need that! I strongly advise that you come with me on my next Scottish tour'

'What's the Grim Reaper?'

'I saw 41 Yellow-browed Warblers, 22 Arctic Redpolls, 10 White-winged Black Terns, 14 Barred Warblers and 24 Wrynecks in my record breaking year list'. It's true - just take a look in the definitive magazine for rare bird enthusiasts!

'On consultation with the UK400 Club Advisory committee..... a unanimous majority has decided that....'

'I'm judge and jury'

'He thinks he's some expert, he knows nothing about the birds even though he's written a book on them'

'Well obviously he claims that some taxi driver showed him the Ivory Gull - it was 100 miles away the next day'

'I'm going for the Yellow-browed Warbler tomorrow, do you want to accompany me?'