01.30 After a night of satisfying the revellers at my club 'Club UK', I eventually retire to my bed where although shattered I dream about those 'dream birds' that you've seen, been for or simply just dream about - species as rare and mystical as Pacific Swift, Needletail and Ruppell's Warbler. Such intrepid adventures that I have been involved in such as the Isle of May Lesser Grey Shrike also pop into my thoughts whilst I sleep soundly... dreaming about the next Yellow-browed Warbler.

05.00 I awake with great anticipation as I can't wait to get to Holkham to see my 21st Yellow-browed Warbler for the year. A jolly European Robin is extremely vocal outside my Bucks bedroom window.

05.10 I pack my lunch box with the food that Caramel has specially prepared for me. I have to eat special food.

05.15 Looking outside, I take it upon myself to presume it is a day of brisk easterlies and hence I decide to get dressed up for the occasion. I don my navy blue shell suit, fresh from the back of the wordrobe where it has been kept since its last outing on Anglesey in October 2001. I feel good about myself, ready for the drive and ready to meet the next gullable fool to be passenger in my car.

05.30 For the next two hours 33 minutes and 21 seconds I drive at high speed to Holkham. Once within 30 miles of the site, I feel excited... you can cut the atmosphere with a knife.

08.03 There is no time to waste... I rush out of the car and run straight to the site and there it is - my 21st YELLOW-BROWED WARBLER for the year. A beautiful bird, this individual being the 95th of this tiny gem I have seen at this location.

08.45 With nobody left in the woods, I take time to live up to my name and do what any good man occasionally has to do when alone. A beautiful Chiffchaff gives its call as I finish off my call of nature.

08.58 I bump into my old acquaintance Adrian Smiley as I rush back to my car. Its so good to see old friends and being a good friend of mine Adrian and I take time to chat. We look back to the good old days like the encounter we had at Stromness in December 2002 and the way in which we showed mutual respect for each others achievements. So much so Smiley has endeavoured to chase butterflies being so disillusioned with my treatment. As I wonder back to my car I reveal a wry grin - another satisfied customer I think to myself!

09.30 After feasting on Caramel's special sandwiches I realize there is little activity on the North Norfolk coast so I decide to head back to get some work done.

12.03 I return to my house, ready to do some work on my next anotated checklist of meaningless information. With winter upon us and after my supplier not having any in stock for last winter, I get the news that I have been waiting longingly for - my consignment of pheasants have arrived in Amersham, fresh from south-east Asia! Three beautiful males and two fertile females - I can already imagine them satisfying my customers as they parade around the woods of Woburn.

12.25 I arrive at my premises 'Club UK' where I find the pheasants parading around the dance floor. I eventually capture them all and manoevre them into my car. As its an undercover operation I throw a blanket over them especially over the males.

12.45 Returning home, I take my newly printed 'Birds of Kent' book to my car. The fresh paper straight from the print shop is beautiful as I stare at the listings, surprising even myself that I am so highly ranked within the top 10 in the county.

13.30 Books and birds, the pheasants call raucously on the journey up the M1 to Woburn whilst I aim to beat my own British land speed record.

14.20 Arriving at this private site, I give the birds a token of my affection and release them on their way realizing that I will have many a satisfied customer this winter...

14.55 'I bloody well don't believe it' - I knew I should have learnt from the previous occasion. Some yobbo's bloody well knicked my car. Well, I suppose at least he knows how to destroy the evidence.... of my outrageous Kent listing claim!

An early finish to the day but all in a days work for our hero LCVI.

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