Alderman Joe Moore,
One Hundred Percent Is Not Enough!
Alderman Joe Moore is constantly striving to get more than 100% out of his volunteers, cronies and staffers. We've all heard stories about those meetings where someone wants over 100%, haven't we? Joe scores a consistent 103%, but his staffers and cronies score a bit higher - and here's how Joe computes it:
Here's a little Joe Moore math that might prove helpful.
If: A. B. C. D. E. F. G. H. I. J. K. L. M. N. O. P. Q. R. S. T. U. V. W. X. Y. Z. is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
Then: H A R D W O R K,
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%
K N O W L E D G E,
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%
But, A T T I T U D E,
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
And, B U L L S H I T,
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that "hard work" and "knowledge" will get you close, "attitude" will get you there, but "bullshit" will put you over the top.
And just look how far "ass kissing" will take you.
A S S K I S S I N G,
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 = 118 %
Think about it...
Send your comments or whatever to:
Chicago's 49th Ward MudZappers > Ward49_MudZapper@Yahoo.COM
The Chicago Tribune Endorses WHO?!
and
Joe's THEORY OF RELATIVITY
and
JOE TAKES A FLYING LEAP
and
WINDY CITY TIMES GETTING IT RIGHT
and
Witchy City Times
and
WalWHO? Joe steps in it, deep.
and
JOE'S THE BEST FRIEND A COP NEVER HAD!
and
STRANGE BEDFELLOWS IN 49th WARD!
and
TOM BRADLEY - ONE SHORT YEAR AGO...
and
Sandy Goldman Rocks Rogers Park!
and
JOE SUPPRESSES FREE SPEECH! AGAIN!
JOE'S 2003 CHALLENGERS:
TOM BRADLEY
MICHAEL HARRINGTON
KAREN HOOVER
GRADY HUMPHREY
TOPICS ON WWW.FORUM49.ORG - 49th Ward Aldermanic Election - 2/25/2003
