Let’s
call them the Good Fellas.
What
the fuck am I doing here:
The
Good Fellas:
As
we were walking along Edsa to his place—I figured that time—I thought
I felt it again… INSECURITY… I was expecting him to make up some lame
excuse to send me home—they were always lame. And even when we reached
the place and I was introduced to Michael, a thirty-something owner of the
house, I thought his mind just wasn’t quick enough to think of an
excuse.
Michael
(again, not his real name), the second of the good fellas, was nice and
made me feel welcome. And for a moment, I felt ease but then suddenly Jess
went to excuse him to step out of the house for a while for he have
something to tell him… It only took a moment or two but to me it seemed
hours and that I convinced myself that what Jess wanted to tell Mike was
that he doesn’t want me and that they should think of a reason to
sending me out. When they got back in the room, I was in midst of
contemplating of saying goodbye myself to save them the effort. But then I
thought, if I say goodbye, I would give them the impression that they were
not good enough for me, which was so not the case… I kept quiet and just
saw myself walking shamed out of the house…
They
said nothing… not nothing, nothing… Michael told me about these two
guys in Manila who were inviting at the chat room for a groupie thing too
and that they plan to do them. I told him that I saw that ad too. I guess
that settled that. He also told me that we were just to wait for their
other two friends.
Jay
(is there still a need to say that too is not his real name or you figured
that out already?) arrived, the third and whom I really think the really
good fella. Well, he was really, really nice. From as soon as he walked in
the room and seeing me… He asked me if I had dinner and when I lied and
said yes, he didn’t want to believe—clearly he wasn’t just being
polite. Not only that, he was really nice and very considerate all through
out the night. Now, he was the one who really made me feel at ease… Not
that I was convinced already that I was wrong about Jess not wanting me
but with Jay around, the thought was swept aside.
This was not something of attraction. Jay wasn’t being nice to me
because he was attracted to me. I don’t think I am his type. He was nice
to me simply because he is nice.
The
three good fellas started talking. Catching up with each other… of
course I have nothing to say… Jay noticed and apologized to me for
unwittingly putting me out of place and asked me again if I really have
eaten already. That was how nice he is. Of course, I kept on with the lie
when, really, I was starving.
The
fourth good fella arrived, John (I so hope you figured it out that that
too is not his real name… if not, other than mine, none of the names
here are real!!!). And as soon as he arrived, after our introduction, we
went in Michael’s car and on our way to Espana, Manila.
Proof
Of Density:
Sex,
Sacred:
Break:
Round
Two:
Now,
The Funny Part:
The
End Of An Affaire:
