Macedonia
Remember
Macedonia (Small
Town, No Show)?
Well,
while he was in Quezon Province he went on messaging me through my phone and
that he caught me a couple of times at the chatroom—over Yahoo Messenger.
Clearly, the communication was open between the two of us. Although it
seemed to me that the only reason he communicates with me still was that he
was bored comatose in Quezon. This is despite that he made it known to me
that he is attracted to me—well, he saw me through webcam the first time
we chatted and that he saw my picture at this webpage. He actually thinks
I’m hot.
I
would like to think he is in the bag. One would assume he is in the bag…
but then one time, being that I hate being made to wait and hanging in the
air, I messaged him. I asked him what am I waiting for—well, he asked me
to wait for him to come back. “Is it worth something or is it just sex?
For if it’s just sex, no thank you… I don’t want and have to wait for
just sex.”
No
reply.
Well,
I was hoping… This is despite the fact that I still have no idea what he
looked like… If he had replied and said it’s not just sex that he
wanted… I would have believe and waited…
Wednesday
last week, right before I went to see “Bathhouse”, he caught me again in
the chatroom. I asked him where he was. He said he was still in Quezon and
that he would be back by Monday (January 24, 2005). Now, I was only on for
an hour and that when the computer shut down, I wasn’t able to say
goodbye. He took it badly and messaged me to say so. I apologized, explained
that I was just in a café and that my computer shut down already but he
didn’t reply anymore. I thought some people could really be that touchy.
Monday
night, I messaged him to ask him where he was already. He said he was still
mad at me. I asked why and he said it was because of me not properly saying
goodbye. I explained again and said I was sorry. He accepted it.
I
asked him where he was already and added, “don’t worry ‘di naman na
kita pipiliting makipagkita sa akin, alam ko naman ayaw mo eh, okay lang.”
He replied that he just arrived at home, in Marikina, and that it wasn’t
that he doesn’t want to meet me. It was just that he got busy for the last
three weeks and that he really wasn’t confident about meeting, afraid that
he would just be rejected, “Nakakababa ng self esteem…”
I
told him I really don’t look that good (in the picture) and that he might
be the one who would reject me instead. I added that maybe we could just
meet as friends… nothing more, just two friends, for a chitchat. He
replied, “Kung saan tayo komportable…” To whatever that means…
Surely,
with my almost naked picture, it seemed he is in the bag. But then, I gave
him my landline number and asked him to call me. He said he was already in
his room and that he was too lazy already to go down stairs, where their
phone was… uh-huh!
The
next day, as soon as I got up from bed, I messaged him asking how was he,
what was he doing, where he was, and that if he had lunch already—I woke
up noon already. No reply. Fine by me as I myself don’t usually find it
important to reply to such messages—one thing I hated about Erchel before.
By three in the afternoon, I was in Marikina, at an Internet shop, to update
my webpage. After I updated my webpage, I went in the chatrooms… he was
nowhere. Fine by me… Five o’clock, I left the shop and was about to go
home when I passed by the park in front of Marikina City Hall. I really love
Marikina and I thought I hang awhile there. So I went, found myself a bench
and just sat there… but then it got lonely… I took my phone out and key
in a message: Why have you not replied? I’m here at the park in front of
the city hall. I just updated my webpage. Where are you? Could you come
here? Kwentohan tayo…”
Still,
there was no reply. I tried ringing his phone but his phone was with low to
without signal (You could tell if the cellphone you are calling is without
signal if it took a few seconds for the recorded voice that say the phone
you are calling is out of coverage reach. if the phone was off, immediately
after you dialed the number, it would tell you so that it wasn’t in the
coverage reach). I tried over and over again… but to no avail. Oh, well…
I
tried calling him again when I got home… then again before I went to
bed… still his phone was without signal. Where could he be…?
I
messaged him yesterday, as soon as I woke up, “Kahapon ka pa ‘di text.
Asan ka ba talaga? Wala ka signal boung maghapon…”
Still,
there was no reply. His phone still out of reach…
January
27, 2005/Thursday