Rationale… justification… the Jacuzzi would do wonder with my
aching back… So I went.
I was early… not that I care but I was…
Subject: going home from Degree frustrated.
What
frustrates people who go to Degree…? When they feel nobody wants them
basically because no one is going for them… thus not getting laid… Or the
one person, or two, or three, they want to do doesn’t want to do them… or
at least, that’s what they think.
When Nick and I met, I observed and told him that it’s utterly
funny that everybody in that floor knows that everybody in that floor wants to
get laid yet no one is getting laid. Actually there were people shagging
already but then numerous men were just strutting their best form perched in a
wall or walking as if it were a ramp for some big time fashion show.
Utterly funny…
I maybe young—25, lean and with a flat tummy but I’m not all
that… I even think I look shit half of the time… yet I have not gone home
from Degree without shag or two, or three… Manong thought it was because of
my bubbly personality that I exhibit around the mini-bar… I’m totally
different upstairs. Upstairs, I stand in one corner and initiate a starring
contest with the floor… I don’t go starring at someone whom I like to shag
with. I don’t smile at people passing by me. I don’t approach a man and
try to see or entice him to shagging with me.
I just stand there almost motionless… I guess, if there is
someone in that floor who seemed not there for the action or reeling to get
some action, that would be me—standing in one corner in a stupor. But I
still get some, some—I average two sessions with two different guys a night.
Yes, I’m implying that maybe I don’t look like shit after
all…
Okay, maybe I exude an utter pathetic vibe, men thinks I would be
too easy.
Ah… basta! I have not gone home from Degree without shagging.
The thing with people there was that they take it all too
seriously… not that I’m saying it’s bad or that it could be help…
perhaps, them not being fancied would be a strong blow to their self-esteem,
which by the way I have low to none…
I start from scratch… yet I don’t let it get into my head.
Last night, no one was going for me… well, there was one but no
thank you… not that he was bad looking. He was actually if not the one, but
one of the cutest guys that night. The thing was he knows so… let’s call
him Boy Kidlat.
Usually, when I go upstairs, it would only take me fifteen minutes
in blank stupor in one corner before someone would take my hand and lead me to
one of the rooms. Last night, no one… but instead of feeling bad about
myself… I thought it was rather funny… “Would this be the night I go
home without a shag?” I asked, “wow!”
Now, I’ve seen Boy Kidlat earlier downstairs even. He was like me
an early bird and he was with his groupie. He was utterly cute, lean body, a
flat tummy… he was one of the fine meat that night. He smiled at me, I smile
back at him… but that was it…
I saw him upstairs, he smiled at me; I smiled back at him… then
diverted my eyes… then he was gone… a few minutes later he descends the
stairs… a few minutes more, he ascends the stairs again fresh from shower…
We spot each other, he would flash me a smile, I would flash him back… then
divert my eyes again somewhere… then his gone for a few minutes… descends
the stairs… after shower, his back in the game… spots me again, smile at
me, smile back… divert my eyes… his gone again… over and over last
night—If I counted it right: seven times—he smiles at me, I smile back at
him after which I divert my eyes and he finds someone else… score!
I call him Boy Kidlat as I don’t know his name and that he was
scoring fast… no resting, he takes off, showers, then back on the game, and
it doesn’t take a minute or so, he scores!
I think I was in his list… not that he have a list, list… but I
bet he thought I would be one of the guys he would get to bed… Na-ah!
But he sure was cute…
Last night was groupie night, or so it seemed. Well, they were
groups of friends… I identified three separate groups and as if they were
working together to lay someone… I hated it…
Now, there was this guy who you would suspect from Binondo. He
looks okay despite his eyeglasses. We spotted each other a couple of times but
you know me… He was a little shy, giving me the impression that he was
new… Indeed he was, I found out later… he was a new member but does
another joint in Malate, which offers the same services.
He spots me leaned back on the wall, he looked at me and smiled. I
smiled back but didn’t hold his eyes. He walked pass me. I stay put. He
parked himself nearby. I looked at him. He was looking at me. I smiled but
neither wants to make the first move yet.
Then he was gone, going the other side. I slipped to one of the
vacant rooms and went to seat at the mattress as I was feeling tired already.
Then, there he was again. He peered in the room I was in, I saw he wanted to
talk to me but changed his mind for some reason and in a half laugh. I laughed
back, thinking we were utterly funny. Half turned, he went back to me…
summed up his courage, and finally asked if he could join me… I said yes.
Very reminiscent of Nick and I the night we met, don’t you think?
We were first just talking, the door open… Small talks… I
thought, here I go again with friendship…
I wonder what if during when Nick joined me in the room, when we
met… I closed the door… just close the door… would we…? Hmmm… But
all well, ends well… I thought I had better… friendship… but then he
called me a loud mouth….
Lex, enough already!
Someone walked in front of the door… stayed there, looked at
us… I know what was in his mind… he wanted a threesome… I closed the
door but didn’t lock it. We were just talking. He asked me if I have a
boyfriend, I told him none and there goes the riddle… what’s so utterly
bizarre with me not having a boyfriend before? I always get that… when they
find out I don’t have a boyfriend they assume that I’m picky… which of
course I deny like it’s a personality flaw… then from there they rock
their brains out to figure out why… and then they conclude… I stopped
present company by licking his nipple… score!!!
He wasn’t really my type… the difference to Nick… I thought
we could be really friends… He did ask me for my cellphone number which I
don’t have anymore—bummer! But after we got off the room… We never
talked again the rest of the night…
After another score… I went home… tired… in my bed, I was
thinking of Nick… I wonder what was he doing… probably at work, I
thought… flirting with a colleague at the call center he works in… Having
coffee… talking about this pathetic guy who is such a loud mouth he met at
Degree…
I decided not to do Degree on a Friday or
Saturday anymore…
