Here is how easy I am to talk to: adorable Nick, who is not so
adorable anymore, said I’m such a loud mouth. So, I shut up.
Something
really funny happened… rather startling… I went out the house to get some
cigarette—I run out. Wearing tattered clothes, and a three-day old pair of
shorts, my hair in array, and my face have enough oil to deep fry chicken, I
walked to the friendly neighborhood sari-sari store at the corner street…
And there he was, Cutie-cutie Jay eating chicken feet with a friend… a
friend? He didn’t see me… He went in inside the house next door the
sari-sari store, leaving his friend, who doesn’t look bad either, outside. I
don’t know… I’m so hoping he doesn’t live there! Perhaps, a relative?
Hmmm…
Take note of that… yes, I am going to invoke the concept of
destiny and fate later…
Anyhow, I wasn’t supposed to do Degree last night. The plan was
tonight, after I update this web page. But for some reason… I felt I have to
do Degree. Not that I just gave in to the temptation, I actually tried to
reason myself out of it. First reason was that, it’s not likely that
adorable Nick would be there as… Well, when we met it was a Saturday so I
assumed he does Degree only on a Saturday. Second reason was that I’m only
due to update this web page the next day. Which, after I update, I intend to
celebrate and you know how I prefer to celebrate… Third reason was I’m not
horny… as if when I lost my cellphone, I also lost my libido. I haven’t
even been masturbating.
But then you know me, whenever I feel doing something… I do it…
This even if it’s totally unreasonable…? Well, not exactly unreasonable as
I do come up with good reason to justify it unto myself. Like in this case, I
thought so what if adorable Nick would not be around—he hadn’t messaged me
nor try to contact me after that night we met. I thought he might even have
forgotten me already or that he doesn’t but if we bumped into each other
again would pretend not to because basically he doesn’t want anything to do
with me. With the second reason, I thought rules are made to be broken…
that’s what makes life exciting! So what if I update this webpage a day
earlier… it’s not like I have not done it before and that it’s not
ready. And the third reason, I don’t have to be horny to do Degree.
Actually, I have not done Degree before because I was horny.
Honestly! The first time I was there, it was because I have heard so much
about the place already and that I wanted to do the place for the longest
time. So when, George24 found me, I grabbed. The second time I was there was
because I was feeling the Valentine blues… and the third occasion, I was
depressed about loosing my cellphone… It wasn’t really because I needed to
get laid, the idea of getting laid only came to me when I was already there…
Try, read back and you would observe so…
I’m so not in denial! Why would I say so? It’s not like I have
a problem with being horny!
One advantage of not having a cellphone was that I have no
destruction. I was more focused. Believe me, I have more work done this week
than the last a month and a half. Well, aside from my day job, I have been
writing a lot, designing webpages, doing my household chores thoroughly,
I’ve cleaned my room (finally!), reorganized my closet, my CD collection, my
books, my journal… I’m in roll. And the coolest part, it comes in a
fraction of the price… I haven’t been spending a lot. Well, I lost the
lust to go out plus I cook now—I cook well, my late grandmother taught me, I
could actually put up a carenderia or a catering business specially that I was
trained to do big cooking, primary reason why I don’t cook everyday. Why two
days before I lost my phone I was stressing on why Nick hadn’t message me
yet, checking for any message every passing minute in blank stupor. What a
waste that was… read on…
So there was no destruction and encoding this webpage in the world
wide web was a breeze. Two hours later, I was at a jeep bound to Cubao,
grabbed a quick meal of burger, fries and coke at Mc Donalds and off I go to
see the wizard of Oz…
And there he was… undressing… a column away from my designated
locker for the night. I walked over and stood near him, he looked at me
blankly… for a second he didn’t recognize me. So typical… But then it
came to him, “Your Lex… right?” I try not to mind even, as I expected,
he said he lost my number. Plus, I think he was too genuinely happy to see me
again.
Okay, that’s me being foolish but then he was there.
After taking a long shower, I went to the mini bar to smoke. Nick
was there. We talked awhile; rather I talked a lot. He listened. I told him
about the guy from the last time, my student. And sorts of stuff that I did
after I lost my phone… Then, Nick left to do his round. I hang still at the
bar with Manong—the bartender of some sort. I have been developing a
relationship with Manong, I won’t be surprise that in the end he would be
the one person I would truly be friends with.
Then came along somebody… my student was there… he emerged from
the Jacuzzi, said hi and happily reported to me that he have scored twice
already. Wow! What time did he come in? I was at cubao 8:30, had a quick bite
then off I go… so it must just be a little after nine… Good for him!
Manong was telling me that there was this guy the other night that
was bubbling and complaining about the lack of “fine meat” that night. He
was very noise that Manong was afraid that the other men would hear him and
gets offended. He reprimanded the guy nicely but he just went on going to the
height of wanting to talk to the manager to tell him not to admit unattractive
men. I thought I ask Manong if that guy was good looking, not that it would
excuse him of his rudeness if ever he were. Manong said he wasn’t and that
the reason he was the way he was that night was because nobody went for him
and he went home frustrated.
Manong was curious if there are guys who does go home zero handed.
I thought probably. I had never gone home from there without having any as you
have read if you have been following me. But I explained to Manong it’s more
because I really don’t reject people as long as they looked okay—okay not
necessarily meaning good looking. And that, I really don’t go for the cutest
guy of the night as I know good looking men are likely to be bad in bed. Nick
came and caught that. “Not necessarily,” he said, “I once did a really
drop dead gorgeous guy and he wanted me to butt fuck him. The problem was I
wasn’t able to because I couldn’t get it up.”
Red flag up: he couldn’t get it up!?
Okay, shit happens.
It happens all the time… Not yet to me… but I heard it happens.
His point is debatable, not because someone gives his behind to you
he is automatically good in bed. It only means he likes getting bottom.
Anyway, he has a prospect already. Another thing that I don’t do,
I don’t single out anyone and have a guy as my lone target. I guess that’s
the problem with most of the guys at Degree, they target one guy and when they
miss they end up disappointed and frustrated. That’s not even the end of it,
when if ever they are so lucky, get their target and turns out their target
are bad in bed…? Get me?
Anyhow, that was why Nick came back to the mini bar. He was to wait
for his target to climb the stairs—from the mini bar the stairs has a clean
view. He told me there he, his prospect, go up the stairs already, to say
goodbye. I thought it would be fun to watch him work his magic. I promised him
I’d keep my distance. Not that he could stop me.
Nick went a head. After a few second, I went up the stairs too. I
started to look for Nick and his prospect. I went around the floor but there
was no sign of him already… “That quick?” I thought. I went around a
couple of times before I finally saw him. I was to approach him already when
someone got in my way and took a hold of me, “Huli ka…” he said. I tried
to get him off me but he had me in a tight embrace and that he won’t let go.
“Huwag ka nang mahiya…” he whispered to me as he started to kiss me,
“yakap ka lang…” I was just laughing… “First time mo dito…?” he
asked. I laughed harder. Not letting go he lead me to the closest room.
It was a good session I must say. I cannot resolve if I like it
though but it wasn’t bad. For starter, he was shorter than me, both
vertically and so much more horizontally—well, I rarely find one who
is—HUH! But he has a good built, he kisses well… well… He tends to get
rough… I felt I was at his mercy and that anytime he would break my neck or
at least a bone in my body, wittingly or unwittingly. And that he have no
absolute consideration on me… he just do as he pleases… and that he was so
convince that I like what he was doing… Which I think I should have enjoyed
it for he did things to me that caters to my libido. He swallowed me and he
was very good at it. Lick my body all over… He was good… but it was over
the top… or it was because I am not use to men who really gives everything
in bed.
Laying naked still, resting… I found out he wasn’t aware that
he was hurting me… he thought I was enjoying it… Well, I’m quiet in bed
and when I said he did, he said he was sorry and that if I have told him, he
would have stop. He also said that he like me… and that he have been
following me… He wanted to buy me drinks at the mini bar after we shower. I
said I don’t drink—I lied. He offered soda. I declined still and told
Manong to just fetch me a glass of water. He wanted me to stay. I went on
smoking, which he wants me to quit. After the cigarette I slipped away.
I went to look for Nick upstairs. I found him talking to hunky guy,
then later were in an embrace, small kisses, it went deeper… I was so close
to telling them to get a room… but I felt a sting in my chest…
distinctively, I would admit and that I recognized it rather quickly, it was
of jealousy.
I know… he was there to get laid. Even the last time, I distanced
myself to him for I don’t want to get in the way of him getting laid. And
that, I would only be just someone he met, at height a friend… And, I did
know that the last time, he left me to get some and that he got some… What I
didn’t know, what I failed to anticipate was it would hit me badly if I see
him with others sharing saliva…
Not that I was in anguish… there was pain, yes but it was…
surreal… I don’t know…
They got in a room… I just stood there from a far… wanting to
stop them, wanting to hear their moan… wanting, I don’t know what I wanted…
someone stood near me… looked at me… the guy was cute and that he wasn’t
bad at all. He run his finger to the hem of my towel… I didn’t want it…
After a few minutes, I saw Nick emerged out of the room. He was to
past directly near me… and as he was almost directly in front of me, I said
in a low voice, “Score One, for Nick.” He didn’t take it all too well.
Upset, he said he hated the place already and that he was leaving. I know it
wasn’t the place. Something happened in the room… he went on walking down
the stairs, I followed him, asking what happened. He didn’t want to say but
rather called me a loud mouth. I shut up.
Usually, at instances as such, I shut down and go away. And I was,
I had turned my back already and leave him to do whatever he wanted to do, go
wherever he wanted to go. But then, I didn’t want to… I went to follow him
at the lockers and there I plead to him to tell me what happened. Still, he
didn’t want to and just said he hated the place. I suggested we hang by the
bar and talk about it. He said he would like to hang at a bar but not the mini
bar there… He kept saying he hated the place and that he would rather Malate.
“Do you think Malate would be any better…?” I asked. “At least there I
could go dancing, see people kissing, and jerk off, actually not just jerk
off,” he answered as he goes through his things. I was to suggest the AV
Room but I was contemplating why am I begging him to stay. Yes, I like him but
would I want him to stick around so he could cruise or he get cruise by
someone else? I thought of going with him to Malate but I was only on slippers
that night.
He was already all dressed up. I know I could no longer stop him
from leaving… “I’ll give it an hour to see if anything would happen,”
he said. I though how, when he was already fully clothe? And… what exactly
was he expecting to happen? I thought it doesn’t matter… I left him alone.
I was worried that I wouldn’t see him again… Well, he said he
hated the place already… I assume that meant he would never come back again
or if he does it would take time… would the gods be so kind to let me be
there when he comes?
I was upstairs, at the far side of the floor—my usual
station—thinking… I had the impulse to leave, too, already… I have lost
interest for the night… and so did I to Nick… echoing how he told me that
I’m such a loud mouth… I’m not denying, perhaps I am indeed a loud
mouth… Anyhow, he hates that.
Then I realize, why would I waste such a perfect night for someone
who doesn’t care much about me—he lost my number? Why, when standing next
to me was a guy who doesn’t look bad at all, have a nice body to go with, a
rather big bulge on his towel, and was starring at me…? It’s a no brainer,
I must say. I looked back at the man’s eyes, he took my hand and he led me
to a vacant room. Score two for Lex.
I just came out of the shower when there he was just wrapped in a
towel again. I smiled at him to acknowledge his presence but just walked pass
him. I don’t know whether I should be happy that he didn’t push through
with his plan of leaving or that I should be worried all the more that he
decided to stay… I was at the mini bar, having a smoke. Seated at one of the
two stools—the other was taken by someone else—when he came to me… He
pushed himself to share the stool with me… I really don’t like to talk to
him anymore. Okay, at least not that night. I gave him the cold shoulder… I
don’t know if he was feeling it but I was… but then I was curious, so I
asked, “What made you change your mind… or should it be who?”
“Who, Nick made me change my mind,” he answered, “don’t try
to figure it out…” I wasn’t going to… I know it was either another guy
named Nick or he was referring to his alter ego—who is also named nick, not
superman. Anyhow, I lost the interest.
I need to find a new friend… someone who I wouldn’t be
attracted to… hmmm… Nick was such a wrong deal for friendship.
I tired to avoid him for the rest of the night. We bumped into each
other a couple of times… and the last time, he said he was solved to really
leaving already and do Malate. I didn’t say anything. I did wrote this
webpage URL address on a table napkin courtesy of Manong of the mini bar, hand
it to him and told him I would kill him if he loose it again…
I decided to go home too after awhile… not so long awhile, I even
caught him by the door. But I didn’t say anything nor acknowledge his
presence.
Me, handing him the URL of this webpage, hoping he’d check it out
and read everything that I wrote about him, is my way of saying goodbye…
