Me, stressed… why?
I start feeling the ache at my back after dinner with Mary Anne, as
we wait for Kim at Starbucks. I must admit, I was feeling so tired that night
already and would want to call it a night already after dinner. But then…
The pain I was feeling was at my upper right back—my wings, up my
shoulder, to my neck. The next morning, Sunday, I was still feeling it. I took
a capsule of Alaxan Fast Relief… but it didn’t help much… the pain was
still there. By afternoon, I went to work out. Everything was fine that was
until I did abdominal crunches… the pain became unbearable… I was
wincing… I took another capsule of Alaxan Fast Relief but it didn’t do
anything… and I found myself wanting a doctor—something I have not done my
entire life. I once sprained my ankle, it’s size doubled and was deep
purple… needless to say I was in pain but I never asked for a doctor. They
have to carry me to the hospital against my will.
I found myself wanting a doctor, but I didn’t act on it. Well, I
found out that the pain tends to subside if I don’t move my neck… so I
just lied down in my bed motionless… I thought of Nick… wondering if he
had read what I had written in this webpage… How was he taking it? He
hadn’t called yet… perhaps he lost the paper again…? Hmmm… Or that he
decided that he doesn’t want anything to do with me ever…
Yesterday, I was still feeling the pain. I don’t know… I fear
it’s something serious… too much smoking? Hmmm… anyhow, it was my
grandmother’s second death anniversary… memories came back… She died in
my arms… she bought with her a part of me…
Stress? My uncle suggested as what was causing my backache…
Well, I was under a lot of stress the past week… I lost my
cellphone. I was grieving… too much partying… too much sex? Hmmm…
thinking of Nick? Huh! Burying myself in work? I had so much work done!
And now… he called me a loud mouth!
I found a VCD copy of “Kailangan Kita” (Claudine Baretto,
Aga Mulach, Star Cinema) over my cousin’s things. I watched it and I thought
it was beautiful… not much the story but Claudine was wonderful, her face
without make up… wow! I so loved all the scenes where she was cooking… the
way she wipes her forehead with her arms… very Penelope Cruz on “Woman on
Top” and Juliette Binoche on “Chocolat”.
Anyhow…
