| My Days.....page 50 |
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| Jan 17 , 2004 09:45pm CS |
| "No one cares, it's whippin' my hair, it's pullin' my waist, to hell with stares. The sweat is drippin' all over my face. No one's there, I'm the onle one dancin' up in this place. Tonight I'm here, feel the beat of the drum - gotta get with that bass. I'm up against the speaker trying to take on the music. It's like a competition, me against the beat. I wanna get in a zone, if you really wanna battle, saddle up and get your rythm, in a minute I'm a take you on. Let me see you dance, let me see ya, all my people wantin' more, let me see you dance. I wanna see you all my people round and round, let me see you dance. So how would you like a friendly competition? Let's take on the song, it's you and me baby, we're the music. We're almost there I'm feelin; it bad and I can't explain, my soul is bare, my hips are movin' at a rapid pace, baby feel it burn, from the top of my toes runnin' though my veins and now's your turn.... Let me see what you got, don't hesitate, I'm up against the speaker trying to take on the music." I worked half a day today, not working really, but it was supposed to be. And I have been tooling around online at the library for the remainder of the afternoon. I am about to go home, but I thought I would leave you all with one thought that is weighing on my brain. I HATE PEOPLE WHO TRY TO BE SOMETHING, OR SOMEONE THEY AREN'T. I have been one of those people before, and believe me, it is not becoming of anyone. BE lax :-) Enjoy who you are, after you figure it out..... |
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| Jan 28 , 2004 04:06pm CS |
| "He walked over to him and he said, 'do you remember me?' I think we might've met somewhere before. Southern Carolina is the place that comes to mind but I guess you never really can be sure. Oh theres nothing like a true love to go and make a fool of someone just like before. And right there for a minute I forgot that you don't love me anymore. Then an old familiar feeling wraps its arms around the moment and he says som many times I've tried to call. Wee you'd think it's been a lifetime It's been 3 years since I've seen you but it seems just like no time's gone by at all. Oh there's nothing like a real love to give back the feel of someone just like before and right there for a minute I forgot that you dont love me anymore. Oh and how far we'll travel for a place to heal out hearts. We watched it all unravel so why's tonight the hardest part. Then he says the weather's changin' and it's icin' up the highway, so I guess it's time for me to hit the road. So he says goodbye and then before he knows what he is doing, he says I wish you didn't have to go.... Oh there's nothing like a true love to go and make a fool of someone just like before. And right there for a minute I forgot that you don't love me anymore." I thought of Jason today. I'm not sure what prompted it, it just came out of no where really. Oh I've thought of him before, even latley, his birthday was last week. And you know I actually picked up the phone and called his house. I'm not sure what I was thinking, maybe that he would be there, he would answer the phone? And say what? Exactly what he did say, nothing at all. there was no answer, save a voice mail with his fathers voice on it. I guess that was a little solice to know that I still have some small way of contacting him, regardless of how impossibile that really is. Alas, I wish I could just forget, I mean I am over him. It took several years and several boys to do the trick, but I did it. That doesn't mean I don't remember him though And I'm not sure I can deal with this new boy I've found myself involved with. He is just a little too juvinile. I didn't think I would ever hear myself say such a thing.... Anyway, I have to go. I have to go home and make dinner. Adieu - n |
| Feb 23 , 2004 05:54pm CS |
| "Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance. For a break that would make it okay. There's always one reason to feel not good enough, and it's hard at the end of the day. I need some distraction, oh beautiful release - memory seeps from my veins. Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight. In the arms of an angel fly away from here, from this dark cold hotel room and the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of an angel, may you find some comfort here. So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn there's vultures and theives at your back. And the storm keeps on twisting you keep on building the lies that you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference, escaping one last time it's easier to believe in the sweet madness oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees.... In the arms of an angel. It's really amazing the things that we have to go though as gay youths in a small town. I just met this very charming young boy, I think he just turned 16, though he told me he was 17. He lives in the same town where I went to high school in Tennessee. He is not only gay but latino, which must be even harder for him. Though he is adorable, I shiver to think of all the things that he will have to go though in the near future in his life. I am still doing the retail gig at the moment. Le tme just say that the person that invented the blue dot should be dragged out into the street and shot repeatedly. I spend the entire day yesterday looking for inventory that we knew was on hand but had no idea where to find. It was grueling.... I am at the library as I have yet to get my computer fixed. As I was driving in today I had the window down, it's close to 60 degrees F here and that is amazing for February weather. I'm longing for spring now, tired of all the cold rain and snow, and hoping that with the change in seasons so will come some changes in my life. Alas, I'm tired of typing... Adieu - n. |
| Feb 24 , 2004 02:22pm CS |
| "Hey, hang your red gloves up, 'Cus there's nothing left to prove now. They, hang your red gloves up, Baby, no-one cares for you. What planet are you from? Accuse me of things that I never done. Listen to you carrying on, Cheating another love song. If I were in your shoes - I'd wisper before I shout. Can't you stop playing that record again, for somebody else to talk about? If I were in your shoes, I'd worry of the effects. You've had your say, but now it's my turn. Sweet dreams, my L.A. Ex. We've had it on full steam, Till the life comes back to you now. Hey, is it all you dreamed and more? Does it make you feel a myth according to the faith because you cared? I spelled it loud and clear, Baby, that tounge's not welcome around here, You turned the city round. (L.A. Ex) You think I give a damn? (L.A. Ex) Do you think that I'm the fairer (S.E.X?) Sweet dreams my L.A. Ex. Hello hello.... La La La. I got off work early today, which was a treat. For some reason I was just not feeling it today, I am restless and not really feeling that well. I got an email from Carl today... which was unexpected, to say the least. He seems to be doing well, he and Josh have been together for a long time now and are buying a house, or bought a house or something, I dunno. I am happy for him. He seems to have found happiness and someone to share it with. He was really a great friend, and I miss being near him a lot. Alas, looking back, I miss a lot of people from Atlanta, kathy, jeffrey, megan, jeremy, lotsa people. But I just can't bring myself to go back. Each time I do it ends up turning out wrong, I dunno. We'll see I guess. I'm gonna go watch crossing over... lates. |
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| Feb 27 , 2004 08:34pm CS |
| "Hello world, whata beautiful day to say hello to you. You awoke this morning to only you know and yet you wern't alone. There is an expression for each occasion. I hope this one is embraced, a sweet taste in the mouth of innocence. Forever tomorrow will be there while you are here. So what will you take with you? Love, bottled water, a sandwich, and a banana. Hello world, what a beautiful day... To have a picnic. To say hello to you. You might just believe this... I do love you, I'm sorry you've been hurt, with everything that's going on in your life and others. But I will be here. And when tomorrow comes, today shines it's face, and you wake up. Just know that I'll be saying... Hello. Good afternoon, good evening and good night. I just got to Nashville and thought I would make a quick update. I am at my friend Mark's place in Murfreesboro. We are going out for some unwinding activities tonight at the Tribe maybe, and probably the Chute. It has been a really long week for some reason, but the gods looked down on me and saw that I was having problems and I got 4 days off :-) Which was awesome. Oh yeah, and Carl brought to my attention that he is not in my people I tolerate section, so, I just added him. SMILES. Thats all for know. lates.... See my People I tolerate Page here. |
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| Feb 28 , 2004 012:14pm CS |
| "Everything annoys me..." You'll hear no witty banter from me today. To quote Jim Carey in the grinch, "First I want to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!" I feel quite lousy. I really did not have a good time at all last night. The next time I decide to drink several black russians, and chase them with a black label Smirnoff Ice, please someone shoot me. I'm going home to find some peace and quiet, if it exists. GRRR. |
