 |
There are thirteen coils in the hangman's noose,
Tie it right so it won't come loose.
There's no future here that I can see,
It's the end of the line for blokes like me.
I know some will think that I've been weak,
But perhaps they've found the peace I seek.
I've tried and tried when the going got tough,
But I've reached the point where enough is enough.
It's the end of the line for blokes like me.
But perhaps they've found the peace I seek.
But I've reached the point where enough is enough.
 |
I Don't Fit In Here Anymore
I don't know where I 'm going to go,
When I walk out through that door.
I know that I am going, though,
I don't fit in here any more.
I suppose I'm hard to live with,
But I can't help the way I am.
I'm living with the legacy,
Of a place called Viet Nam.
While I was in the Army,
I kept on going strong.
I had my mates around me,
And we helped each other on.
Back then there was no problem,
'Cause we were all the same.
There was nothing wrong with us,
It was the world that wasn't sane.
But now that I'm a civvy,
I've tried to change my ways.
But the pressure keeps building up,
My head just pounds for days.
I've stayed at work, I've changed my job,
But at night I walk the floor.
There's just one thing I'm sure about,
I don't fit in here anymore.
AWAKE
Suddenly awake, alert,
Looking for the threat.
I'll have to go and change my shirt,
It's wringing wet with sweat.
I can't see anything that's wrong,
It must have been a dream.
But the feeling was so very strong,
I could hear the people scream.
I often wake up bathed in sweat,
And ready for a fight,
But this one was the worst one yet,
I'm shaking as in fright.
DON'T ASK FOR HELP
You don't listen when I'm talking.
You're not with me when I'm walking.
For me there's no-one ever home,
And I always feel alone.
There are times I need to be with you,
But the times you're there are few.
I've learned to live within myself,
I've learned to never ask for help.
But the times you're there are few.
I've learned to live within myself,
I've learned to never ask for help.
YOU'D BE BETTER OFF DEAD
"You really would be better off dead"
Says the voice that echoes inside my head.
For twenty odd years I've lived in pain,
And now I have to start again.
I didn't know there was anything wrong,
I'd been like this for oh so long.
I didn't want to make a claim.
To Vets' Affairs it's just a game.
The doctor said it was easy to see,
That I was a victim of PTSD.
I couldn't believe it, it was hard to see,
How something like this could happen to me.
The claim went in to Vets' Affairs,
And I went to see some doctors of theirs.
They accepted the PTSD as a fact,
Then cancelled the payment for bones in my back.
They never asked me about the pain,
That's there in the evening and morning again.
When I get out of bed every day of the week,
I climb up the door to get to my feet.
They say when you get to the end of your rope,
You just tie a knot and hang on to your hope.
But when someone comes and cuts the rope,
What do you do when you've got no more hope?
For twenty odd years I've lived with the pain,
And I don't really know if I can start again.
I'll have to try, I'll have to hope,
But I'm finding it harder each day to cope.
And the voice that keeps echoing in my head,
Says "You really would be better off dead."
I'd been like this for oh so long.
I didn't want to make a claim.
To Vets' Affairs it's just a game.
That I was a victim of PTSD.
I couldn't believe it, it was hard to see,
How something like this could happen to me.
And I went to see some doctors of theirs.
They accepted the PTSD as a fact,
Then cancelled the payment for bones in my back.
That's there in the evening and morning again.
When I get out of bed every day of the week,
I climb up the door to get to my feet.
You just tie a knot and hang on to your hope.
But when someone comes and cuts the rope,
What do you do when you've got no more hope?
And I don't really know if I can start again.
I'll have to try, I'll have to hope,
But I'm finding it harder each day to cope.
Says "You really would be better off dead."
THE ONES I'D LEAVE BEHIND
There's a darkness waiting for me,
With a shining light behind.
And dying holds no fear for me,
For the light will cleanse my mind.
There is no fear of death in me,
I've walked that path before.
The darkness and the light will free,
My heart from pain and war.
So it's not the fear of death which stops me,
Fear is only in the mind.
But what really keeps me going,
Is the ones I'd leave behind.
I've walked that path before.
The darkness and the light will free,
My heart from pain and war.
Fear is only in the mind.
But what really keeps me going,
Is the ones I'd leave behind.
MY TUNNEL
I'm trapped inside a tunnel,
There's no light, there is no end.
And every step I try to take,
Just brings another bend.
It's hard for some to understand,
The changes that occur.
Some days I'm feeling really grand,
While at times the world's a blur.
Some times I just can't stay awake,
Or walk into a store,
And the changes that I try to make,
Frustrate me more and more.
There are times I want to go away,
So my world can settle down,
But things just don't turn out that way.
I work, so I'll go to town.
I'm at the bottom of a hill,
With a sheer rock wall behind.
The slippery slopes have sapped my will,
My cares have numbed my mind.
I'm sitting at my desk again,
And trying hard to cope.
The headache really numbs my brain,
And I'm slowly losing hope.
The changes that occur.
Some days I'm feeling really grand,
While at times the world's a blur.
Or walk into a store,
And the changes that I try to make,
Frustrate me more and more.
So my world can settle down,
But things just don't turn out that way.
I work, so I'll go to town.
With a sheer rock wall behind.
The slippery slopes have sapped my will,
My cares have numbed my mind.
And trying hard to cope.
The headache really numbs my brain,
And I'm slowly losing hope.
PEACE
There's a pathway my mind wanders,
As I search for sleep at night.
Leading through a well kept garden,
With flowers all of white.
I finally come up to a gate,
Guarded by a man who's dead.
On the gate there is a friendly sign,
A kangaroo that's painted red.
The dead man turns to face me,
I explain that I'm a vet.
He shakes his head and tells me,
"It's not time for you just yet."
"There's still some work for you to do,
So you'll just have to wait,
Because there'll be no coming back,
When you pass through this gate."
So I turn and slowly walk back home,
There's a job ahead to do.
I listened to the dead man's words,
And so my friend, should you.
Guarded by a man who's dead.
On the gate there is a friendly sign,
A kangaroo that's painted red.
I explain that I'm a vet.
He shakes his head and tells me,
"It's not time for you just yet."
So you'll just have to wait,
Because there'll be no coming back,
When you pass through this gate."
There's a job ahead to do.
I listened to the dead man's words,
And so my friend, should you.
More Australian Poems about Vietnam
Copyright© 12-27-2005 By Bob Lange,
All Rights Reserved
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