ETI-1
a. Arrogance in the trumpet ranks is strictly forbidden.
b. This rule shale not be applicable to those enrolled in public schools, private schools, home-schooling, or the alumni of these schools. This law shall also be void for all males, females, and aliens from planets you've probably never even heard of yet.
ETI-2
a. When being criticized by a fellow trumpet player, the correct response is to repeat a phrase randomly selected from the following list, and repeat it at regular intervals, regardless of what the person is saying. The List: Yes, I Understand, Very Insightful, How Deep, and I Stand Awed at the Deep Reaching Greatness of your Genius.
b. Trying this with the section leaders is just NOT a good idea (See TSL-10).
ETI-3
a. Obeying the orders of a drum major can and will be punishable by death.
b. In the event of an extreme emergency, the aforementioned law shall be ignored. A status of emergency may only be declared by the section leaders.
c. This rule shall be exempt for Chris (see CRS-5)
ETI-4
a. All wind ensemble trumpet players must keep records of something in their band folders.
b. These records need not be kept current.
c. See ETI-1b.
ETI-5
No maps in size greater than 3' x 3' shall be unfolded during any rehearsal, regardless of the stupidity of doing nothing.
ETI-6
a. In the event that wind ensemble is not playing and concert band is, wind ensemble players have the right to play in the concert band that day.
b. There shall be no vice-versa for this rule.
ETI-7
Possession of a concealed piccolo trumpet without a permit may be considered a misdemeanor.
ETI-8
Placement of a trumpet upright upon the knee during a concert is forbidden.
ETI-9
Should more than one-half the band attend a band party, it shall be declared a failure and all participants shall return to their homes.
ETI-10
The use of music to play ‘The Hey Song’ shall be considered treason of the highest degree.
ETI-11
The most heinous crime a trumpet player can commit is the destruction of this rule book. Anyone found guilty of such an act shall be automatically designated an honorary woodwind.
ETI-12
All players of rank equal to or higher than honorary brass shall be addressed by the first name of the person, the conjunction, "of," and the person's instrument, as in ‘Tim of Trumpet.’
ETI-13
The order of command shall also be applicable in lines of all sorts, especially including lines to use the phone, and uniform checkout lines.
ETI-14
So long as the Trumpet Section Leaders are able to overhear, any gossip may be made about any member of the band at any time.
ETI-15
a. No trumpet player is allowed to spin their trumpet in any way shape or form. (See TSL-10).
b. This rule is void for the owners of Silver Bach Stradivarius'.
The Foley High School "Mighty Band From Lion Land" Trumpet Section
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