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The holidays are almost upon us! For most people it is a very joyous time of year but for those who have lost a baby, the holidays can be very painful bringing back memories or once anticipated plans. No one can take away the pain you may be experiencing, but here are some tips to help get through the holidays. Plan ahead Decide what is important to you, and what is not. You may decide to follow tradition, or set new ones. Consider shopping through a catalog or online. Don’t worry about sending out Christmas cards if the task seems overwhelming, others will understand. Be honest with yourself and others Accept your limitations and don’t take on more than you think you can handle. This includes shopping, cooking, entertaining, and cleaning. Let your family and friends know your plans or lack of plans. Don’t be afraid to express how you feel. The holiday season often magnifies grief. If you feel sad, that’s normal, and on the other hand, if you laugh or feel joy it does not mean you love or miss your baby any less. Take care of yourself Don’t be afraid to ask or for help or accept it when it is offered. Make sure to get plenty of rest if you do take on tasks. Grief can not only be emotionally draining, but physically draining as well. We are more susceptible to illness after a loss, so it is especially important not to overdo it.
Contributed by Shani. Shani is a F.A.I.T.H. member, GeoCities Community Leader, grief counselor and a stay-at-home-mom to six children. Her homepage, Shani's Shoe, http://www.oocities.org/Heartland/Woods/6999 - is dedicated to parenting issues and grief support.
 
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