Learn, listen, and read!
Help prevent those heart breaking fatalities and injuries
that can be prevented!
Any child's safety is your responsibility!
What Police Wish Every Parent Knew by Martha Raddatz *Child magazine
"You don't have to live in fear, but you do have to be alert,
cautious, and prepared."
Here are the lessons that Ernie Allan, (J.D., president of the National
Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) in Virginia) and other
experts say you need to learn:
The crimes against children that we hear about on the evening news tend
to be abductions that end in a child's death. But in fact, such crimes
make up only a tiny portion of those committed against children annually.
Out of close to 50 million children in the US, only about 100 a year are
kidnapped and murdered. Most abducted children return to their families,
often shortly after the abduction.
Allen points out, however, that "our children are at a substantial
risk for sexual victimization, and the vast majority of people who are
preying on them are not strangers - and leaving their safety lesson at
that - is grossly inadequate," Allen emphasizes.
All too often, cases of abduction and abuse involve not a scary or weird
looking stranger but rather an adult who may be familiar to both you and
your child. "It's not whether you know the person or what they look
like, but how they act toward your child that matters.
Knowing that relatives and friends, as well as strangers, can put your
child at risk of sexual abuse is a chilling thought. Yet you can use this
information in shaping concrete strategies that can keep your child safe,
from infancy through the teenage years.
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Lesson #2
Lesson #2 - Keep Kids in Sight
Similarly, don't leave your baby unattended in her stroller while you
make a dash for that one last grocery item. And once your baby is a toddler,
make sure she doesn't toddle into a grocery-store aisle different from
the one you're browsing in. Tell her often to "stay close so Mommy
can see you." Eventually, she'll understand what you're saying and
that you mean it.
One more important way to be vigilant is to do a thorough background
check on any babysitters you hire. Be sure to talk with more than one set
of parents who have already used the caregiver, pediatric experts suggest.
And in your interviews with prospective sitters, look for someone mature
and responsible who listens and responds well to your child and appears
relaxed and happy to be with him.
If your child goes to a daycare center or preschool, find out if the
administrator uses FBI, or similar investigative authority, records to
discover whether any job applicant has a history of child abuse. These
records can provide a crucial safeguard for you and your family.
Lesson #3
Lesson #3 - Spot Potential
Abusers
As your child gets older, your vigilance should include noticing any
adult who expresses and intense interest in you son or daughter. Not every
adult who expresses a fondness for your child is a molester, of course.
"But I always tell parents that if a situation seems too good to be
true, it probably is," says Lieutenant Bill Walsh, an officer with
the Youth and Family Crimes Division of the Dallas Police Department.
If a coach or youth-group leader constantly wants to buy your child
treats, take him on errands, or drive him to and from practice, that should
send up a red flag, according to Walsh. You should also be wary of an adult
who starts paying an increasing amount of attention to you. Sometimes,
molesters will befriend parents to win their trust in the hope of gaining
more access to their child. If either kind of attention makes you suspicious,
monitor the situation closely. You might begin asking your child some casual
questions about what the attentive adult talks to him about when the two
of them are alone. Then, if your suspicions remain, don't be ashamed to
eavesdrop on your child's half of a telephone conversation with the adult,
to be more aware of what is going on.
Finally, be prepared to end your child's relationship with the adult
quickly, if necessary. Tell your child why ("because Mr. Coach is
not acting the way a soccer coach should"). Call other parents whose
children may be at risk, to alert them to the problem and your solution.
And if the adult's actions have been flagrant or abuses have occurred,
call the police.
What does a child's self-esteem have to do with her ability to avoid
child abuse? "Children who lack confidence in themselves are prime
targets for child predators," says Peter Banks, a former Washington,
DC, police officer now the director of outreach at NCMEC. Such kids are
easier to intimidate, for one thing, because they lack a strong sense of
who they are. And a child who doesn't feel loved and valued by his parents
might even drift toward the wrong kind of adult - a molester - to make
up for the attention he feels he's missing from his parents.
Even before your baby learns to talk, you can help her to feel valued
by holding her tenderly, responding to her cries quickly, and including
her in your glances, smiles, and conversations. By the age of 3, when she's
speaking in whole sentences, you can reinforce her feelings of self-confidence
by assuring her of your affection often. Tell your child, "I love
you, I trust you, and I will always believe in you." If you keep up
an ongoing an loving dialogue with your child, the eventual result will
be that she'll trust her own instincts when she's uncertain about someone's
intentions towards her. She'll also feel that she can tell you anything.
Your child's willingness to speak openly and freely with you takes on
new importance when you realize that less than 10 percent of all child
molestations are ever reported to the authorities, according to some estimates.
What frequently happens, FBI experts say, is that young victims feel too
threatened, intimidated, or embarrassed to confide in their moms or dads.
The result of such secrecy may be that the victimization of the secretive
child, and possibly other children as well, is allowed to continue.
