Hi, everyone! My gosh, can you believe that its March already? Last month I told you about Geocities and THEIR idea of "furniture". UGH! Those crazy "codes"! And those movers! Ooooh! I was sure confused when I first started this page, and little did I know what I was in for!
HEY YOU!
You Soose?
Sorry, Sweetcakes, but you were already told that this is CYBERSPACE. No one "knocks" in cyberspace!
This your homepage?
I'm Agent Hugo.
Hugo. I'm with the Geocities Secret Police.
That's right. G.E.E., it stands for Geocities Editor Enforcers. You know that problem that everyone had with the Homepage Editor?
We've discovered that YOUR homepage was behind the whole thing!
Just give me the facts. Start from the beginning.
I chose the Basic Homepage Editor because I didn't know ANYTHING about homepage building and/or creating. I thought that it would be nice to have something on (or is it "in") the Net to control and oversee it's outcome. Boy, THAT'S an optimistic thought. This page has ended up controlling ME!
After carefully selecting colors, and separators, and typing up a "quickie" text, I pressed the "create" button to see what I had created. When the page appeared on the screen, I swear that it was frowning at me! Somehow, at that point, I had the funny feeling that I wasn't "in charge" anymore. The "creator" (me) was about to embark on a journey into "Homepage Horror", and my "creation" was now the "master". I could almost hear it growl at me as I quickly switched to another site.
The next night, I gathered up my courage, and entered it's domain again. I made some adjustments, such as adding some links (no, not sausage) and changing the background color. But, it was still a "surly beast" when I viewed it again. And it still was not happy--it just glared at me!
The following night, I installed a page counter--it liked the counter. It STILL likes the counter. I had pleased it. I revised the text--it looked "relieved". I think it even "grunted" it's approval (or maybe that was the night I had gas--I can't remember).
But, it's pleasure in me quickly ended on night #4. That night lasted 7 days! It all began when I thought it would be nice to have background music on my page. MISTAKE! It was "tone-deaf", and wasn't about to let me put in music. We struggled and fought over it for several nights--it won most of the battles by not playing the music I had installed. Finally, after a week, we "settled out of court" (a landmark case!), by me supplying it with ear plugs. I didn't even know pages HAD ears!
The next week the infamous "Battle of the Guestbook" took place (in fact, its STILL raging!). Error message after error message appeared as I frantically tried to figure out what the problem was. Then, one night it fell asleep and I was able to get the guestbook up and running--sort of. There are still a few "bugs" that have to be ironed out, and I'm sure that it put them there!
After the preliminary battle over the guestbook, a temporary truce was made. It let me add graphics, and I let it play with the page counter. When I had finished installing the graphics, I discovered that it didn't like cats. It liked the little dog that you see running around below, but it did NOT like the three kitties. On more than one occasion, I would visit my page only to find that it had kicked all three cats out and had kept the dog. Imagine my surprise when all I saw were three blank boxes instead of three cats! This little escapade went on for over a week. Another agreement was made--I could keep the cats if it could have a "9-1-1" alert light graphic, and of course, the dog.
Ever since then, we've gotten along ok--until now! Does that answer your questions, Agent Hugo? Hugo?
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......!
Don't shoot! Huh? Uh,...(yawn!)...wha...? Where am I? Who are YOU?
Oh, yeah. You're the one with the renegade homepage! I remember!
That's for Headquarters to decide. Come with me.
That's ridiculous. You know that homepages can't go anywhere! This is CYBERSPACE! Now, come along.
Yes. And remember, I go where ever "Hugo"! That's my motto!
This page is dedicated to WEBTV, because if it hadn't been for WEBTV, I wouldn't be here tormenting you with this stuff, would I?
I want to say "hello" and thanks to Wrenn, Rare Bear, jc, and the Andresen Family for their assistance--"HELLO AND THANKS!"
ALSO, a VERY special "hello" and thanks to Linda, my "mentor" and "guardian angel", who is helping me make this site compatible not only for WEBTV users, but for pc users as well. If you "click" on her name, you can go to her award winning site. And boy! Is IT a site (30 pages)! She says that she needs the "hits" (or was that "needs to get hit"?)!
THE NEXT INSTALLMENT WILL BE SOMETIME IN APRIL. SEE YOU THEN!
(Pretty neat, huh?)