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Bond: Pity about your liver sir. An unusually fine Solera. 51' I believe. M: There is no year for sherry 007. Bond: I was referring to the original vintage on which the sherry is based sir....1851....unmistakable!! Still in sir Donalds office: Sir Donald: Tell me commander, how far does your expertise extend into the field of diamonds? Bond: Well, hardest substance found in nature. They cut glass, suggest marriages, I suppose it replaced the dog as the girls best friend. That's about it. M: Refreshing to hear that there is one subject your not an expert on! Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd have just blown up the helicopter that was supposed to pick up the diamonds: Mr. Kidd: If God had wanted man to fly....... Mr. Wint: .....he would have given him wings Mr. Kidd!! In the customs when Bond has taken the role of Peter Franks: Moneypenny: Mr. Franks, your passport is quite in order.... Bond (as Franks): Oh, anyone seeing you in that outfit Moneypenny would most certainly be discouraged from leaving the country. What can I bring you back from Holland? Moneypenny: A diamond.....in a ring...? Bond: Would you settle for a tulip?!! Bond has just arrived at Tiffany's appartment posing as diamondsmuggler Peter Franks: Bond: Is Mr. Case not at home? Tiffany: There is no Mr. Case. The "T" is for Tiffany. Bond: Tiffany Case....definitely distinctive. Tiffany: I was born there, on the first floor while my mother was looking for a wedding ring. Bond: I'm glad for your sake it wasn't Van Cleef and Arples!! Bond to Tiffany when she comes out of here room practically wearing almost nothing: Bond: Thatīs a nice little nothing your almost wearing!! Felix Leiter is meeting 007 at the customs where he is supposed to examine the body of the late Mr. Franks: Felix: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body but where? Bond: Alimentary, Dr. Leiter. Felix: So long James. Keep in touch! Bond gets a ride from the airport to the funeral of his deceased "brother" Peter Franks. Bond himself is acting like Peter Franks! Driver: The stiff, ehm, the deceased back there....your brother, Mr. Franks? Bond: Yes, it was. Passenger: I got a brother. Bond: Small world! Bond has been rescued from the coffin in the crematorium: Bond: Now, don't tell me!! You're St. Peter?!! Plenty: Hi, I'm Plenty. Bond: But of course you are! Plenty: Plenty OīToole. Bond: Named after your father perhaps?!! Bond is using his gambling skills in the casino: Bond: I'll take the full odds on the 10, 200 on the hard way, the limit on all the numbers and 250 on the 11, thankyou very much!! Plenty: Say, you played this game before....... Bond: Just once!! Plenty commenting on Bonds gambling skills: Plenty: You handle those cubes like a monkey handles coconuts!! Bond and Plenty enter Bond's room at the hotel.... Plenty: My, what a super place you have here. Bond kisses Plenty, unzips her dress which falls to the floor... Plenty: Just one second lover! Plenty goes into the bathroom. Bond turns on the light and the villains are all sitting there.. Bond: I'm afraid that you've caught me with more than my hands up!!!! Plenty O'Toole is thrown out of the window by some goons and lands in the hotel-swimming pool: James Bond: Exceptionally fine shot. Goon: I didn't know there was a pool down there! Bond, Leiter and the CIA-agents are watching the "Circus Circus": CIA-agent: She's in the building. Felix: Right, stand by. Do me a favour James. Next time pick a contact point when you're standing up. Bond: Felix, if she gives your men the slip...... Felix: Relax, I've got up with almost 30 agents down there. A mouse with sneakers on couldn't get through. Bond has escaped from Whyte's research center: Tiffany: What happened? Where are the diamonds? Bond: Get in the car. If you see a mad Professor in a minibus, just smile! Bond and Tiffany in the waterbed at the Whyte House: Tiffany: What's going to happen to me? You did talk to your friend Felix about me..... Bond: Mmmm... Tiffany: Well, what did he say? Bond: Something about 20 years to life. Nothing important..! Tiffany: 20 years to life......!!!! Bond: Relax darling, I'm on top of the situation!! Felix is trying to keep track of Bond by "locking" him up in a hotel room: Bond: Felix, this is not the real White House and he's not the president. Why don't we just go and see him? Felix: The president I can get you in to see. But until Washington starts believing Willard Whyte's a thief that's the way it is. In the meantime I'm sure you and Mrs. Jones can find some way to amuse yourselves. And just to make sure your not disturbed I have a man upstairs......and Hamilton is right out here! So long James. Tiffany: Well, that's a switch! Bond: What's that? Tiffany: The wolf being guarded by the three little pigs! Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd are trying to get rid of Bond: Mr. Wint: If at first you don't succeed, Mr. Kidd... Mr. Kidd: Try and try again, Mr. Wint. Bond wakes up in an oil pipe and finds a rat sitting next to him: Bond: One of us smells like a tarts handkerchief. Bond smells his fingers: Bond: Iīm afraid itīs me, sorry about that old boy. Two oilworkers on there way down into the oil pipe to do their work and Bond climbs out of it: Bond: Thank you. I was just out walking and my rat and I seem to have lost our way!! Bambi: Well, hi there. I'm Bambi. Bond: Good morning Bambi. Thumper: And I am Thumper. Is there something we can do for you? Bond: I can think of several things......off hand, but at the moment I'm looking for Willard Whyte. As Bond is being escorted onto Blofeld's oil rig: Bond: Acme Pollution Inspection...We're cleaning up the world and thought this was a suitable startingpoint! Blofeld addressing Bond when he has just borded the oil-rig: Blofeld: I expected at least one head of state. Your pitiful little island hasn't even been threatened!! Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd comes into Bond's and Tiffany's cabin in the end, disguised as waiters. Mr. Wint hands Bond the cork and comments on the wine: Mr. Wint: A happy selection if I may say.... Bond: I'll be the judge of that. That's rather potent. Not the cork, your aftershave. Strong enough to bury anything! Bond tastes the wine: Bond: But the wine is quite excellent. Although, for such a grand meal I had rather expected a claret. Mr. Wint: Of course. Unfortunately our sellers are rather poorly stocked with clarets. Bond: Mouton Rothschild is a claret. And I've smelt that aftershave before and both times I've smelled a rat!! Bond has just thrown Mr. Wint over board with a bomb between his legs: Bond: He certainly left with his tail between his legs....! To the top |