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Girl: Why do you always wear that thing? Bond: I have a slight inferiority complex. Bond has just disposed of a villain in the teaser by electrocuting him in a bathtub: Bond: Shocking, positively shocking!! In M:s office: Bond: And what do you know about gold Moneypenny? Moneypenny: Oh, the only gold I now about is the kind you wear, you know on the third finger on you left hand...! Bond: Mmm, one of these days we really must look into that. Moneypenny: What about tonight, you come around for dinner and I'll cook you a beautiful angelcake. Bond: Nothing will give me greater pleasure but unfortunately I do have a business appointment. Moneypenny: That's the worst (*) excuse you've ever given me. Ah well, some girls have all the luck. Who is she James? M: "She" is me, Miss Moneypenny. And kindly omit the customary by-play with 007. He's dining with me and I don't want him to be late! Moneypenny: So there's hope for me yet? Bond: Moneypenny, won't you ever believe me?!! M and Bond are dining with Colonel Smithers, head of UK:s bankreserve: Colonel Smithers: Have a little more of this rather disappointing brandy. M: What's the matter with it? Bond: I'd say it was a thirty year old "fine" indifferently blended Sir.....with an overdose of Bon Bois! M: Colonel Smithers is giving the lecture 007. Q is doing a brief and Bond is not that enthusiastic about it: Q: You see the gear lever here? Now if you take the top off you'll find a little red button. Whatever you do, don't touch it!! Bond: Why not? Q: Because you'll release this section of the roof and engage and fire the passenger ejector seat. Bond: Ejector seat? You're joking?!! Q: I never joke about my work 007!! Goldfinger: You are a clever and resourceful man, Mr. Bond. Perhaps too clever. Twice our paths have crossed, let's leave it at that. Bond: Oh, I see. You're worried about me not giving you a return game! Goldfinger: Both of us know perfectly well what we are talking about, Mr. Bond. Many people have tried to involve themselves in my affairs, unsuccessfully. But I see that it is necessary to remind you. Oddjob! Oddjob flings his hat and slices the head off the statue! Bond: That's nice, but what does the club secretary have to say about it? Goldfinger: Oh, nothing Mr. Bond, I own the club!! Bond: Do you expect me to talk? Goldfinger: No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die! Goldfinger: Choose your next wittisism carefully Mr. Bond, it may be your last! Pussy: My name is Pussy Galore. Bond: I must be dreaming! Bond and Pussy on Goldfingers plane: Pussy: We'll be landing in 20 minutes. Do you want to play it easy or the hard way...and this isn't a tranquilizer! Bond: Ah Pussy. You know a lot more about planes than guns. That's a Smith & Wesson 45. If you fire at this close range the bullet will pass through me and the fuselage like a blowtorch through butter. The cabin will depressure and we'll both be sucked into outer space together. But if that's how you want to enter United States your welcome, as for me I prefer the easy way! Pussy has just told Goldfinger that she found Bond under the model of Fort Knox: Bond: I enjoyed your briefing!! Goldfinger looks at Bond, smiles, scratches his nose, and says: Goldfinger: So did I. Bond tries to convince Pussy that Goldfinger is mad: Bond: What would it take for you to see things my way? Pussy: A lot more than you've got!!! Bond: How do you know? Pussy: I don't want to know!! Leiter: James, what happened to your butler friend? Bond: He blew a fuse!! Felix about why Pussy called the CIA and warned them: Felix: And by the way, what made her call Washington? Bond: I must have appealed to her maternal instincts!! Pussy Galore: Where is Goldfinger? Bond: He's playing his golden harp!! To the top |