VIENNA, Virginia
In an announcement that greatly impacted the futures of several impending Photoshop files, designer Steve McNutt announced today that he has joined the Peace Corps.
"Holy shit. What have I done," stated McNutt.
McNutt has volunteered for a new environmental education program in the Central African country of Gabon. Located on the equator in a country that is upwards of
eighty-five percent rainforest, McNutt is expected to burst into flames within minutes of exiting the airplane.
McNutt, who has spent the better part of two years squatted in front of a computer in various locations throughout Northern Virginia, made the
decision as part of his attempt to rework his priorities, help some people and have a "wee adventure."
After years of donuts and pizza and company-bought cake, McNutt has become soft and slow. A situation that has Gabonese crocodiles sweaty with anticipation.
"We can only run quickly in short bursts," said this one really big, scary looking crocodile, "but we can still run faster than him. He's hardly been upright since
1998."
McNutt is rumored to be high in protein and to taste "kinda like chicken."
Immediate impact is expected throughout the internet industry as McNutt will be stationed in Africa and have little or no access to the technology upon
which he has become so dependent.
The move is expected to free up dozens of servers throughout the SouthEast and California which have become increasingly overburdened with the constant onslaught of emails
McNutt was known for: trivial, angst-ridden missives dripping with ironic observations and references to bodily functions that inspired pending legislation in
both South Carolina and Mississippi.
McNutt is expected to become crocodile poop sometime after April 21, 2000.
