Azure Version

Battles 19 and 20

A Doompuff spin-off's defeat seems like a good reason to celebrate - except now there isn't a storyline, either!

Azure Version Stuff

Azure Archives

Backtrack: With the storyline not going anywhere in particular at the moment (or at least nowhere worthwhile), it seems that this battle can only come to nothing. Blame the Azure Webmistress!

Battle #19: Who Takes Responsibility? March 18, 2001
Setting: Lil's Desk - Reality
Player: Lil

Yay. Writer's block.
LIL calls having a DRAFT COPY of BATTLE 19 delivered to her by NARRATOR, throwing it into HQ PORTAL, and storming back to REALITY WRITER'S BLOCK?!
YES!
NARRATOR threatens to use BATTLE 19 against LIL's WISHES!
You can't do that - if I've thrown it out, that's the end of it!
>_<
Why must LIL stay in REALITY after her HIATUS has ended?
Why can't the DRAFT of BATTLE 19 be posted?
Why is AZURE VERSION still not updated after the UPDATE DEADLINE?
Warning; question mark overload.
Besides, this week's sleep deprivation has managed to kill every living brain cell I ever had.
NARRATOR is getting sick of LIL blaming everything on SCHOOL!
All right then - it's your fault.
Huh?
If I can't blame school, you're the only other thing around to blame - BTW, you shouldn't even be here!
NARRATOR says that LIL being the AZURE WEBMISTRESS, she has no choice but to UPDATE or forever have NARRATOR loom over her!
LOOMING is really fun ; )
Well, you could at least stop shouting. Speaking of which, my parents are calling. Something about compulsory extracurricular activities tomorrow and going to sleep. *sigh*
NARRATOR will not let LIL sleep until BATTLE 19 has been finished!
Face it - you're not getting anything out of me that's even bordering on humorous. Give up and leave me alone.
NARRATOR thinks SCHOOL and SLEEPLESSNESS has seriously wrecked LIL's BRAIN!
There we go; I blame you for this, and you blame what I blamed to begin with.
NARRATOR doesn't understand SENTENCES with the same WORD repeated over and over and over!
Hypocrite. Just keep quiet so I can use the 'Net in peace, okay?
LIL's PERSONALITY is on the BORDERLINE between REALITY and the WORLD WITHIN THE INTERNET!
Don't narrate unless you have a point.
But LIL'S narrated POINTLESS BATTLES before!
Do you have to respond everything I say?
...
Good. Mouse, you may as well come out in case something weird happens. I don't trust this 'reality'.
The trainer's strangely unenthusiastic! Go MOUSE!
Furry live MOUSE is sitting on MOUSE PAD!
Aw, cute! Useless, but cute.
NARRATOR thought LIL didn't like cute ANIMALS, POKÉMON, etc.!
Shut up. You gave me this mouse, and I'm not about to battle it if that's what you were hoping.
Darn.
MOUSE typed in ASK.COM!
LIL was taken to ASK JEEVES!
Wait - MOUSE can't rip off BATTLES from other VERSIONS!
NARRATOR can practically see COPYRIGHT REGULATORS storming into AZURE VERSION HQ!
DON'T SAY THAT IT'S MY FAULT THIS MOUSE HAS COMMERCIAL CONNECTIONS!
...Mum, it's only a couple of minutes...Look, a mouse...Yes, I know it's cute...Yes, I know it's probably infected with some fatal disease...No, I was shouting at the radio...Good night.
?
You've been allowed to eavesdrop - don't go asking for further explanations!
MOUSE typed in 'What is the sound of one hand clapping?'
Uh mouse, if you want to know the answer, I can clap one hand for you. You don't have to ask a website.
MOUSE is afraid LIL would've squashed it in the name of ANTI-COMMERCIALISM!
I'm not that cruel!
ahem -
Don't traumatise the mouse.
MOUSE clicked itself!
It squeaks! : )
JEEVES: I have found answers to the following questions:

  • Where can I find resources from britannica.com on sound?
  • What is the amplitude of sound waves?
Blah blah blah...
MOUSE is disillusioned!
I don't blame you.
MOUSE wants to find MEANING in ABSTRACT CONCEPTS!
Excuse me?
MOUSE goes psycho on the KEYBOARD!
I may as well sit back...watching a mouse use the 'Net isn't that bad, actually.
MOUSE found 'The Really Big Button that Doesn't Do Anything!'
Really?
MOUSE clicked itself!
Nothing happened!
What's the point of that?
MOUSE clicked itself!
Nothing happened!
They just program the button to refresh itself, don't they?
MOUSE clicked itself!
Nothing happened!
Face it, mouse. It says it won't do anything, and clicking it a million times isn't gonna change that.
MOUSE refuses to believe a BUTTON won't do anything!
Well, I s'pose it does - it goes back to where you started.
MOUSE realises this is an ABSTRACT CONCEPT!
MOUSE's LIFE has a deeper MEANING!
Okay...
MOUSE doesn't like LIL dismissing the POWER of the BUTTON!
I didn't say that!
...
See? I said, 'okay...'
MOUSE can see through the OBVIOUS MEANING!
MOUSE says that LIL is outnumbered anyway!
I am? Since when?
LIL used KEYBOARD to SCROLL!
...
...
...
Oh. I'm outnumbered by those people who really believe the button does something, people who click on it in their leisure time...Y'know, I could set up a related page with 'The Really Big Advertisements that Do Something'. That'd be worthwhile. ; )
MOUSE frowned at LIL!
I have enough people in this world that frown at me. I don't need you to join them.
BUTTON-CLICKERS appeared!
They'd better not be preparing to knock down my front door; unless you want to be sacked.
...BUTTON-CLICKERS make their presence known on the INTERNET!
MOUSE and BUTTON-CLICKERS are frowning at LIL!
JOIN THE 'FROWN@LIL' ASSOCIATION! JUST 5¢ ADMISSION AND YOU CAN FROWN ALL YOU LIKE! SIMPLY CLICK ON 'THE REALLY BIG BUTTON THAT DOESN'T DO ANYTHING' - wait, that doesn't sound right...
Can't you at least frown at me in your own time? I want to go to a few other websites!
MOUSE refuses to try to be friends with LIL!
Rats.
...That didn't seem like an appropriate response.
BUTTON-CLICKERS don't like LIL degrading the BUTTON!
I don't annoy you, you don't annoy me. Logical?
Some BUTTON-CLICKERS go back to BUTTON-CLICKING!
Other BUTTON-CLICKERS are still frowning!
Both GROUPS are renamed BC#1 and BC#2 for NARRATOR's SAKE!
BC#1 left!
BC#2 are angry!
BC#2 want to fight!
Go away - you're only forcing me to use mental power that I don't have. I'll even forfeit if I have to. Me, use FORFEIT!
NARRATOR won't allow LIL to modify the PB RECORDS unless she goes back to HQ!
You are desperate for a BATTLE...Too bad...Me, use SETTING TRANSFER!
MOUSE and BC#2 are blocking the SETTING!
NARRATOR, why don't you FIX THAT?
But NARRATOR only gets very limited POWERS in REALITY!
Come to think of it, the same goes for LIL!
You should've told me that earlier...I told you I don't have any MENTAL POWER to use right now!
MOUSE and BC#2: >: )
MOUSE and BC#2 decide to ally and take advantage of the SITUATION!
MOUSE and BC#2 were renamed M/BC#2!
You can't tell me that you can't let me forfeit either!?
NARRATOR'S been locked out by BC#2!
THAT'S IT! YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT!
M/BC#2 asked for IT!
M/BC#2 automatically got INFORMATION ON PERSONAL DETAILS!
Don't twist the ACRONYMS!
BC#2 are either trying to flood LIL's E-MAIL ACCOUNT or access LIL's PC!
MOUSE used BITE!
OW! If I'm DEAD before SUNRISE, tell my PARENTS I can't make it to the COMPULSORY EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES - Keep gnawing on my HAND! I've got things to avoid!
MOUSE gives up on the IDEA that LIL was ever SANE!
MOUSE goes back to cheering on BC#2!
Me, use - get off my KEYBOARD!
MOUSE finds the KEYBOARD a good place to SLEEP!
MOUSE used SLEEP!
MOUSE is sleeping!
Does this MOUSE realise what I could do to it now?
CONSCIENCE says even thinking about being cruel to a cute MOUSE could be a guaranteed way to get LIL thrown out by the whole INTERNET COMMUNITY!
What if it was a not-so-cute MOUSE?
NARRATOR notes the POLITICALLY CORRECT TERM!
CONSCIENCE says it didn't mean it like that -
Then stay out of this.
Does CONSCIENCE really exist to begin with, or is it some DISGUISED ASPECT of LIL's PERSONALITY?
...
I just managed to drop the MOUSE outside - now I have a huge MOTH sitting on my '' KEY! AUGGH!
How's NARRATOR supposed to know which KEY LIL is talking about?
Y'know the LETTER of the ALPHABET between P and R?
PUBLIC RELATIONS?
STOP MAKING A JOKE OUT OF THIS! The MOTH'S there; on the '' KEY and near the '1' KEY.
Why does LIL not mind a furry MOUSE, but hates a furry MOTH?
After all, both are furry and have NAMES starting with 'MO-'!
I'm not a MOTH PERSON, okay?
LIL'S really edgy for someone who wanted to forfeit a battle against BC#2!
Blame these ANIMALS!
Will LIL STOP THAT?!
If they should take the blame, why shouldn't they?
*sigh* COMPUTER MOUSE appeared!
Happy?
If you had given me this to begin with, I wouldn't be stuck with dropping a LIVE MOUSE outside and dealing with a group of PEOPLE who, for whatever REASON, like to click on a pointless BUTTON.
COMPUTER MOUSE feels sorry for its LIVING EQUIVALENT!
COMPUTER MOUSE goes to help out MOUSE!
Back to my ''-LESS KEYBOARD...Me, use ACCESS E-MAIL ACCOUNT!
...
LIL finally managed to access E-MAIL ACCOUNT!
...I have...whoa...496 MESSAGES?!
NARRATOR hopes LIL isn't MAD enough to open EVERY SINGLE E-MAIL!
I know it's completely MAD!
Still, I hardly get E-MAIL from ANYONE! It'd be impolite to not read everyone's - and I'm obliged to!
Uh...leave that PRACTICE to NARRATOR for now.
WHAT'S THE POINT OF LOOKING AT SPAM AND FLAMES THAT VIRTUALLY SET YOUR COMPUTER ON FIRE?
Strange how none of them seem to relate to AZURE VERSION...no, here's one for you. What's this about a 'RE: BATTLE 17 LOAN'?
Uh...just use DELETE. It's only one of those CHAIN E-MAILS.
...
LIL?
ECK! ANOTHER MOTH NEARLY FLEW INTO MY FACE!
Good, no one needs to know about the 'Uh...' part.
AND THE FIRST MOTH'S STILL HERE!
What were you saying?
CHAIN E-MAIL.
It doesn't look like it. Are you hiding something?
NO!
I know what POLITICAL FIGURES are like - just CONFESS now and it'll make LIFE easier for everyone. 'Specially me.
IE 4.0 froze!
Am I even using the evil BROWSER known as IE?!
LIL had it open in case NETSCAPE was too slow, remember?
Oh. Me, use CTRL-ALT-DELETE!
LIL used CTRL-ALT-DELETE!
Select 'End Task' - I know the procedure...
'This program is not responding'...'End Task' - This next part's inevitable.
IE closed!
SEVERAL TASKBAR ICONS disappeared!
SYSTEM BOX started making a HIGH-PITCHED 'EEEEE' NOISE!
I'd better be able to get back to my E-MAIL ACCOUNT via NETSCAPE!
BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH appeared!
WHAT?! I only called you 'evil' and tried to use your COMPETITOR!
Only? O_O
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
At this time, NARRATOR isn't risking BIAS!
COMPUTER is inflicted with various VIRUSES!
On top of WINDOWS SYNDROME!
COMPUTER gives up and collapses!
NARRATOR is mentally recording random RESULTS for the PB RECORDS!
I ought to try and revive a few brain cells. Guess that means sleep.
Stupid writer's block...Narrator, go back to H' and stay there!
NARRATOR needs an INTERNET CONNECTION to do that!
Until then, NARRATOR will just have to loom over LIL!
NOOOOO...Sorry everyone, I didn't mean to wake you all up...Oh, you found a mouse sitting around?...Yep, it's making a face at me. Very cute...Can someone get rid of these moths for me?

Backtrack: Let's see what's happened: the Webmistress' PC crashed after an encounter with Button-Clickers, etc. Meanwhile, the main characters are making their way back to Azure Version...are they back already? Since when?!

Battle #20: Beware the Evil Plothole April 4, 2001
Setting: Azure Version
Player: Fred [Record: 3-5-0] Last seen: #18...can anyone remember what happened?

Oh, this is great. I'm nowhere, I'm alone, and I have NO IDEA OF WHAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING!
But...the NARRATOR doesn't know any more than FRED does!
How can a CHARACTER know as much as a NARRATOR?!
NARRATOR just doesn't understand!
Last time NARRATOR checked, boring STUFF was happening, the WEBMISTRESS' COMPUTER was at the mercy of a VIRUS...and the WEBMISTRESS has just done unbelievably badly in her latest EXAM!
Zzz...IF YOU CAN'T EMPATHISE, DON'T TALK TO ME!
Oh, she's in a bad MOOD, too.
STOP TALKING ABOUT ME AND GET BACK TO YOUR JOB!
Moody moody moody - OW!
Oh yeah, there's a giant PLOTHOLE here somewhere...AUGGH!
I was wondering when you'd figure that out.
PLOTHOLE!!! MOST EVIL EVIL PLOTHOLE!!!
And people think I'm a bit strange...
PLOTHOLE NEEDS PLOTPLUG!
I can't believe how pointless this is getting...I'm just talking to interrupt RED TEXT!
NARRATOR looks for random OBJECT to turn into makeshift PLOTPLUG!
FOR THE SAKE OF ORIGINALITY, IGNORE ME!
NARRATOR found random MEDIA REPORTS!
MEDIA REPORTS were renamed PLOTPLUG!
PLOTPLUG was jammed into PLOTHOLE!
Phew...
Wait a sec - what about DRAGONDAY and METAPOD?
METAPOD is in its POKÉ BALL, still waiting to evolve after YEARS and YEARS!
DRAGONDAY slammed into FRED to prove that he isn't alone!
Owww...
DRAGONDAY wants MAIN CHARACTER TEXT!
DRAGONDAY first wants the power of SPEECH!
DRAGONDAY first wants to take the SPOTLIGHT while FRED is dazed, and talk about its favourite TOPIC...
DRAGONDAY first wants a favourite TOPIC!
NARRATOR just wants DRAGONDAY to start from the beginning!
Too late, DRAGONDAY - I wanna know what's happened to the rest of the PLOT!
AUGGH! NO ONE MUST WEAKEN THE PLOTPLUG!
Maybe I should ask about TIM - he's probably scaring a few PEOPLE somewhere...
TIM: But I am here...right?
Auggh! $A fell from the PLOTPLUG!
TIM: Um...IN-JOKE?
I don't think the NARRATOR has any IDEA of what's supposed to happen.
TIM: Well...WEEDLE and PINSIR have fainted, I think. MECHANICAL JUNK'S scattered all over the place from when we crashed to the bottom of the BOTTOMLESS PIT.
Since when did you guys land up in a BOTTOMLESS PIT?! Since when did anyone land up in a BOTTOMLESS PIT?!
HOW CAN THE NARRATOR IGNORE A HUGE GAPING PLOTHOLE LIKE THAT?!!
AUGGH! IDEA that AUSTRALIA should adopt the $US fell from the PLOTPLUG!
STUPID CURIOUS CHARACTERS!
WELL, YOU'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO USE ECONOMIC NEWS FOR A PLOTPLUG!

April 6, 2001

Well, that was a waste of WORDS.
NARRATOR had to deal with another MATTER!
PLOTPLUG repai - Why should NARRATOR have to explain herself to CHARACTERS anyway?
WHAT 'OTHER MATTER'?
PAPERWORK fell from the sky!
PAPERWORK landed on FRED!
OOOOOWWWWW!!!!!
Sook - FRED shouldn't have tried to wreck the newly repaired PLOTPLUG!
PAPER CUTS!
Oh, that is painful...
NARRATOR is extremely happy!
YOU OUGHT TO BE THROWN OFF A CLIFF WITH A BOULDER TIED TO YOUR NECK!
TIM: Yeah FRED, get the NARRATOR mad...I WANNA LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S HAPPENED TO THE PLOT, Y'KNOW!
AUGGH! REPORT that NSW PREMIER was the first person to be caught out by his new SEATBELT LAWS fell from the PLOTPLUG!
I need lots of BANDAIDS...
TIM: Was I supposed to understand that SENTENCE? Apparently some guy's trapped by some SEATBELT - SINCE WHEN DID I GET INTO THE NEWS?
NARRATOR'S getting DIZZY!
All she can figure out is that the PLOTPLUG'S just been wrecked again!
Hey NARRATOR, over here! BAANDAAIID!!
This calls for CATION!
CATIONS and ANIONS! Coming to a CHEMISTRY EXAM near you!
...One, you were meant to say ACTION!
Two; I should've known CATIONS weren't just things chased by DOGIONS!
STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!
Uh, can NARRATOR do something to appease the angry WEBMISTRESS?
NO - Then again, I might calm down if *whispers*
Please get me a BANDAID...What did I do to deserve ALLIES without FIRST-AID KITS?
TIM: It's not like you have one either! And how would you expect POKÉMON to carry them around - okay DRAGONDAY, you can stop holding PINSIR above my HEAD now!
: )
Huh? I just heard a NARRATOR's : )!
NARRATOR prescribes BREAKFAST for all!
If you're thinking about 'fixing me up' using TOAST or something, forget it!
Give NARRATOR a chance!
Are you kidding?
NARRATOR shoves MARMALADE JAR into FRED's MOUTH as a TEMPORARY GAG!
Don't shatter the GLASS unless you want more INJURIES besides PAPER CUTS!
...
TIM: Okay DRAGONDAY, here's what we do -
NO ONE'S GOING ANYWHERE!
LARGE CEREAL BOX appeared!
TIM: Like I was saying DRAGONDAY, this is what we're gonna -
LARGE CEREAL BOX was identified as containing POKÉMON CEREAL!
TIM: DON'T GO INTO DETAIL!
DRAGONDAY went into a state of SHOCK!
WEEDLE and PINSIR - are still unconscious!
Anyway...KELLOGG'S POKÉMON! TOASTED OAT CEREAL WITH MARSHMALLOW PIECES!
Eat it!
...
DRAGONDAY mysteriously recovered from SHOCK!
WEEDLE and PINSIR - [see above]
TIM: There's got to be a CATCH here somewhere...
Of course!
It's for a LIMITED TIME ONLY and costs more than it's worth!
In other WORDS?
TIM: It's probably dangerous to talk before the NARRATOR tells you the MARMALADE JAR'S gone.
I'm not stupid! I dumped the JAR in the PLOTHOLE!
NARRATOR is using every bit of WILLPOWER possible to prevent herself throwing FRED into the nearest unexplored PORTAL!
...
NARRATOR warns CHARACTERS to eat CEREAL:

  • before LIMITED TIME runs out and the CEREAL does something weird!
  • so that WEBMISTRESS and NARRATOR have not forked out lots of $A for nothing!
I don't care; I'm not risking my LIFE for a PRODUCT of OVERCOMMERCIALISATION!
TIM: How'd you say that? Oh yeah, I'm still not eating it.
If CHARACTERS want to be like that, they can go away and forage for non-existent FOOD!
Besides, NARRATOR had some and is still completely norma - Just starve to DEATH, then!
We can't win, can we?
TIM: It's sorta hard to win or lose when there's no COMPETITION.
DRAGONDAY wants to figure out if the POLYWHIRL-SHAPED 'MARSHMALLOW' is PURPLE or BLUE!
DRAGONDAY thinks it may be PURPLE, but BLUE is too great a POSSIBILITY to disregard!
DRAGONDAY needs to try the COLOURING to get a definite ANSWER!
Nobody cares if it's PURPLE or BLUE!
DRAGONDAY SAYS THAT TESTING THE EYES IS SOMETHING TO CARE ABOUT!
DRAGONDAY ASKS IF FRED WANTS TO TRY NOT HAVING EYES TO TEST!
No...go and try that 'MARSHMALLOW'...
DRAGONDAY ate 'MARSHMALLOW'!
'MARSHMALLOW's COLOURING FLAVOUR is masked by SUGAR!
DRAGONDAY ate another 'MARSHMALLOW'!
DRAGONDAY goes crazy and begins eating all the 'MARSHMALLOWS' in the CEREAL!
DON'T BE SO GREEDY - SAVE SOME FOR ME!
FRED goes crazy and does the same!
TIM: I NEED SUGAR TO KEEP ME GOING!
TIM joins in the 'MARSHMALLOW' GRAB!
Several SECONDS pass!
DRAGONDAY can't understand why KELLOGG'S put so few 'MARSHMALLOWS' into their CEREAL!
BAD STINGY BUSINESS!
TIM: STILL SUGARCOATED OAT STUFF! MUST EAT!
Everyone shrugs and starts the 'OAT' GRAB!
'OATS' go everywhere - including into WEEDLE's and PINSIR's MOUTHS!
WEEDLE and PINSIR mysteriously regain CONSCIOUSNESS and instinctively join in the 'OAT' GRAB!
MEMEMENEEDSUGARRR!
TIM: NOYOU! MEEE!
O_O; Good time to freak out?
DRAGONDAY yells SUGAR NEEDS FASTER TO GO!
WEEDLE squeaks OIL TO FIX RUST!
PINSIR asks for DRIVER OF LICENCE CAR DRIVE TO!
TIM: OVER NO TALK OF ME!
BROKE SEQUENCE TALKING! PSYCHO TIMMY!
TIM: HOW'D YOU LIKE FREDDY TO BE CALLED?!
DRAGONDAY decides HAS TOO FAR SUCH GONE STUPIDITY!
NARRATOR watches helplessly as JANICE fall from PLOTHOLE into the current SCENE!

Player: Janice [Record: 2-1-1] Last battle: #18, Win v. AJ [Source: Plothole Leak]

Ah, a PLOTHOLE. No wonder everything that's happened in the last few WEEKS is so vague.
NARRATOR asks JANICE to keep as much SANITY as she has!
It's kind of difficult to do that when I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS MESSED-UP SICKENING LACK OF PLOT!
NARRATOR wants some help to construct a new PLOTPLUG!
You're deliberately avoiding explaining to me what's going on, aren't you?!
FRED: DISUNITY MOST EVIL!
Um...and I s'pose this is why.
TIM: OUTSIDER TO PICK ON!
DRAGONDAY agrees - that was what it said, wasn't it?
WEEDLE squeakily demands OIL TO FIX RUST!
PINSIR screams for WEEDLE to GET OVER IT AND LIVE WITH YOUR HORRIBLE VOICE!
The TREE ARMY was easier to understand than these PSYCHOS!
JANICE was able to understand something that has never existed?!
If I'm leading the FIGHT against POLITICAL OPPRESSION by TREES, isn't it obviou - What d'you mean; THEY'VE NEVER EXISTED?!
TIM: EXACTLY - MY SEATBELT HAS EXISTED!
LET'S SMASH THE NARRATOR!
Just get back to the BATTLE!
WHAT BATTLE?!
The BATTLE JANICE is about to have with the 'cry-baby paranoid meeeaaannn idiot and his friend'!
AUGGH! I ALMOST ALLIED WITH THE PARANOID CRY-BABY AGAINST THE NARRATOR!!!
TIM: I AM NOT PARANOID; YOU ARE AN AXE-MURDERER!
I TREAT MY AXE VERY WELL! DON'T YOU DARE PUT IDEAS INTO ITS HEAD!
FRED: WAITING BORING! BAATTTLE!!
DEMY want to fight!
FRED sent out BULBASAUR!
WEEDLE sent itself out!
TIM sent out PINSIR!
DRAGONDAY sent out CHARMANDER!
FRED: MAJORITY RULES!
NOT ALL THE TIME! C'MON SQUIRTLE, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO!
It's about time JANICE trained her 'STARTER'S POKÉMON'! Go, SQUIRTLE!
BULBASAUR used LEECH SEED!
SQUIRTLE was seeded!
SQUIRTLE used the SEEDS to plant a little GARDEN BED in AZURE VERSION!
SQUIRTLE watered them and waits for the PLANTS to grow!
SQUIRTLE fell asleep on the BED!
SQUIRTLE is fast asleep!
What gave you the IDEA to grow potential TREES? *sigh*
FRED: HA-MWA-MWA-MWA!
o_O;; Maybe you should look for a PSYCHIATRIST.
BULBASAUR takes over and watches the SEEDS!
BULBASAUR fell asleep on the BED!
BULBASAUR is fast asleep!
FRED: S-
RSACi CLOUD appeared!
RSACi CLOUD struck FRED with LIGHTNING CENSORS several times!
Several hundred times?
Oh well, as long as everyone can tell FRED has been electrocuted beyond RECOGNITION.
FRED: Stupid say I was about to...
FRED fainted!
RSACi CLOUD is satisfied with VICTORY and re-retreats to the BACKGROUND!
Can we get over this pathetic GARDEN BED IDEA now?
Forget it! Use next Pokémon?
Okay STARUS, get rid of these disturbing CHARACTERS!
JANICE withdrew SQUIRTLE and sent out STARUS!
WEEDLE used POISON STING!
NARRATOR doubts STARUS even noticed that!
STARUS, use your SPINNING SPIKES attack!
STARUS used SPINNING SPIKES!
WEEDLE calls for BACKUP and hides behind JANICE!
What in the - STOP POKING AT MY ANKLE!
STARUS still hasn't inflicted the power of SPINNING SPIKES!
STARUS goes after WEEDLE!
STARUS collides with JANICE!
JANICE is flattened!
...Why can't you watch where you're going?
STARUS has no EYES!
...How'd you know where WEEDLE was, then?
STARUS contributes the INCONSISTENCY to the PLOTHOLE!
STARUS immediately fainted for messing with the PLOTHOLE! Use next Pokémon?
...Just me and my AXE now, right?
NARRATOR realises JANICE is in no condition to battle!
If JANICE can't get her AXE to battle by itself, she will automatically FORFEIT!
TIM: YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY-YAY!
DRAGONDAY wants CHARMANDER to get some decent TRAINING!
WEEDLE needs MORE SUGAR AND ME CARE NOT WHAT IT TAKES TO GET IT!
...I thought you were on my side, NARRATOR...
NARRATOR wishes CHARACTERS wouldn't mess with PLOTHOLES while they're trying to heal!
NARRATOR also hopes SUGAR-INDUCED HYPERACTIVITY doesn't go on for much longer!
TIM: HYPERHYPERHYPo...hypo...hyyppo...whhat was I saayyiinngg...
All POKÉMON suffer SUGAR WITHDRAWAL and collapse!
...You're doing this just to end this BATTLE?
TIM: Suuggaarr...wwhheerree iss suuugggaaarrr...
TIM notices empty LARGE CEREAL BOX!
TIM: Sugar...?
TIM is sampling LARGE CEREAL BOX!
Just end this now, please. Everything's just really weird...
NARRATOR looks at the pathetic SCENE and notices an open OPPORTUNITY!
*clears throat* ***WEBMISTRESS' REQUEST: All main CHARACTERS are to go and figure out why all the POLICE OFFICERS and POKÉMON NURSES are identical!***
As long as I don't have to put up with CARDBOARD-EATER over there, I'll go.
All collapsed POKÉMON raise EQUIVALENTS of HANDS!
NARRATOR assumes FRED and other POKÉMON would eventually agree to go!
NARRATOR pokes TIM!
NARRATOR assumes TIM will join in?
TIM: Yeah, whatever you say...I can't decide whether this CARDBOARD'S flavoured BLUE or PURPLE...

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