Azure Version

Battles 7 and 8

After a 3-week chain of events within fanfic mode, Azure Version's Narrator is back in the job. It's not an easy one, though.

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Azure Archives

Note: These events take place after the fanfic 'A Challenge', so if you haven't read it yet I'd advise you to read it now.

Backtrack: After surviving what happened in Azure Version's first fanfic, the Narrator is having a couple of problems, especially with some of the characters.

Battle #7: Evil Eevee's Confrontation December 12, 2000
Setting: Azure Version
Player: Fred [Record: 1-3-0] Last seen: Fanfic #1, reprimanded by Webmaster

FRED is covering his ears!
NOW, WHY WOULD I BE DOING THAT?
That is a question FRED should be asking himself!
THIS NUT IS DEAFENING ME!
What nut?
TIM: HEEELLLPPP!
Oh, that nut. Well, what should NARRATOR do about this?
THAT IS A QUESTION YOU SHOULD BE ASKING YOURSELF!
NARRATOR takes offence to that remark!
CHARACTERS shouldn't go around pinching NARRATORS' lines!
BUT EVEN THE STUPID AXE-GIRL'S LEFT!
COVERING HER EARS!
FRED should STOP SHOUTING!
NARRATOR is very sensitive to shouting.
SINCE WHEN?
Since NARRATOR just tossed a new bottle of PILLS to TIM!
And a BOMB to FRED!
BOMB used SELF DESTRUCT!
BOOM!
BOMB fainted!
FRED is pretty close to fainting!
NARRATOR wins! HA HA HA HA HA!
That's funny...
Well, if no one else is going to laugh at the NARRATION, the NARRATOR is obliged to laugh at its own lines!
NARRATOR was just handed a list of important things to do!
Obviously, someone out there doesn't appreciate NARRATOR's sense of humour!
NARRATOR may as well get the boring stuff out of the way, then! *clears throat*
TIM has recovered from the SIDE EFFECTS of his MEDICATION!
NARRATOR tossed MAX REVIVE to TIM!
TIM: What's this for?
NARRATOR SLAPPED itself on its PROVERBIAL FOREHEAD!
NARRATOR poked TIM in the direction of DRAGONDAY!
TIM: AUGGH! I've been poked by a NARRAT - Oh, you mean DRAGONDAY'S still fainted?
Any idiot could see that!
You don't have to call TIM an idiot, y'know.
TIM is deeply appreciative of FRED's friendship!
I wouldn't take it that far. It's just that I didn't notice DRAGONDAY for a while, either.
TIM: Oh.
Is TIM going to use MAX REVIVE on his ally or what?!
TIM: Okay, okay...
TIM used MAX REVIVE on DRAGONDAY!
DRAGONDAY is grateful!
But still hates having TIM as an ally!
Can you be my ally then? WEEDLE isn't all that good a POKÉMON.
WEEDLE is UPSET!
TIM is UPSET!
DRAGONDAY doesn't like FRED that much anyway!
Uh, NARRATOR...
Don't disturb the NARRATOR while it's reading!
'Other important stuff to do'...NARRATOR has to read the following statements!
HEY, AREN'T WE MORE IMPORTANT?
Than the AZURE WEBMASTER? NARRATOR highly doubts that!
...
The WEBMASTER has to clear some things up:

  • Contrary to what LL said in the FANFIC, there is officially AIR in AZURE VERSION!
  • The public response to the FANFIC has led the WEBMASTER to reprimand AUTHOR! If AUTHOR can not expand its vocab or improve its literary skills in general, then AUTHOR will have to plead against a public beheading!
  • The WEBMASTER will interrupt POKÉ BATTLES whenever she thinks it's necessary!
The WEBMASTER likes sounding high and mighty, doesn't she?
WEBMASTER loves that part of the job!
Can we get back to who goes with which POKÉMON?
NARRATOR isn't making any changes! Everybody will just have to get along with whoever they've been stuck with!
We are not doing anything in this VERSION until we get what we want!
TIM, WEEDLE and DRAGONDAY agree!
NARRATOR refuses to back down!
PROTESTS do not concern NARRATOR in the least!
We'll just have to smash your HQ in, then!
That's impossible!
AZURE VERSION HQ isn't even in AZURE VERSION!
So NYAAH!
Rats. But we refuse to co-operate until you give in!
NEVER!
NARRATOR refuses to be bullied by simple CHARACTERS!
NARRATOR will have to be HANGED, DRAWN and QUARTERED before it will give in!
That's not fair! You know it's impossible to do those things to a loud voice!
Well, it's not fair that NARRATOR has to deal with difficult CHARACTERS either!
NARRATOR has to get on with this BATTLE!
And no PROTEST will stop that!
EVIL EEVEE appeared in the distance!
AUGGH! I'LL KILL THAT LITTLE MONSTER - No, I refuse to do anything!
NARRATOR is sick and tired of refusals!
Either FRED goes after EVIL EEVEE, or he dies a painful, horrible death!
I'm not afraid of that!
Fine!
LARGE SWIRLING STORM CLOUDS form over FRED's HEAD!
A STORM CLOUD HAND picked up FRED!
What?! AUGGH!
STORM CLOUD HAND threw FRED in EVIL EEVEE's DIRECTION!
FRED is chased by the EVER-LOYAL WEEDLE!

Player: Tim [Record: 0-3-0] Last seen: earlier, protesting to Narrator

TIM has stopped PROTESTING!
And is trembling in FEAR!
Which is a very wise action!
I hate LARGE SWIRLING STORM CLOUDS...
TIM is being SENSIBLE for once!
DRAGONDAY sighs at its sensible but pathetic ally!
NARRATOR erases any official complaint to HQ about the alliance!
I don't want to face that EVIL EEVEE!
NARRATOR doesn't want to send TIM and DRAGONDAY after EVIL EEVEE anyway!
What? You're going to spare me the torture?
Um...if TIM wants to put it that way...
*sniff* Thank you.
NARRATOR's REPUTATION is being put at serious risk!
NARRATOR has to rescue it quickly!
NARRATOR has another form of torture for TIM and DRAGONDAY!
WHAT?! Why can't a NARRATOR be nice for once?!
BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUNNY!
So I have to suffer to give any potential visitors a laugh? That's really mean!
Of course!
Now TIM had better SHUT UP!
NARRATOR wants to try out a modified NARRATION TECHNIQUE on TIM and DRAGONDAY!
This doesn't sound good...
DRAGONDAY has to agree!
A WEED is attacking!
Huh?! Do you mean a little WEEDLE?
What is your command?
WHAT'S GOING ON?!
TIM and DRAGONDAY have FOUR OPTIONS!
They can ATTACK, use MAGIC, use an ITEM or RUN!
Yeah, but this doesn't make any sense.
Just do anything, then!
If you want to be like that...Fine, I'll choose ITEM.
DRAGONDAY chose ATTACK!
TIM used an ITEM!
TIM's ONLY ITEM is a BOTTLE of PILLS!
So?
TIM threw BOTTLE of PILLS at the WEED!
TIM caused 1 HP damage to the WEED!
Do you have to say that so loudly?!
WEED threw BOTTLE of PILLS back at TIM!
WEED caused 5 HP damage to TIM!
TIM got BOTTLE of PILLS back!
And that's supposed to make up for the fact that I've been attacked by a @#$%& WEED?!
DRAGONDAY attacked the WEED!
DRAGONDAY caused 2 HP damage to the WEED!
TIM and DRAGONDAY have caused the WEED to faint!
TIM and DRAGONDAY are victorious!
Is it just me, or does this seem to be a rather hollow victory?
WEED was not carrying any money!
WEED was not carrying any items!
AUGGH! STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!
NARRATOR is actually having a bit of fun doing this!
Another WEED is attacking!
I don't care! This is worse than the VRs! I'm going after EVIL EEVEE!
NARRATOR has caused TIM to run away like a maniac!
NARRATOR has caused DRAGONDAY to follow suit!
Great. NARRATOR is annoying itself now!
The WEED is still attacking!
NARRATOR plucked WEED out of the ground!
WEED fainted!
NARRATOR can't decide what to do with the WEED!
THROW IT OUT AND GET BACK TO THE BATTLE!
Well, that's one option.

Player: Evil Eevee [Record: 0-1-0] Last seen: earlier, being chased by Fred

Eevee! Eev, eevee!
NARRATOR notices that EVIL EEVEE is running aimlessly through the TREELESS PLAINS!
EVIL EEVEE has JANICE to thank for that!
Eeeveee!
NARRATOR assumes EVIL EEVEE is hungry!
Eev!
NARRATOR disagrees! EVIL EEVEE is definitely EVIL!
EEVEE! EEV, VEEE!
But all EEVEE are supposed to be HERBIVORES!
Since EVIL EEVEE only likes FRESH MEAT, EEVEE has to be EVIL!
Vee! Eeev eev eevee!
Good. NARRATOR and EVIL EEVEE have reached an agreement. Now EVIL EEVEE has to expand its vocabulary!
EEVEE!
Then again, maybe not.
Eevee. Vee, eeeveee eev.
Um...EVIL EEVEE would be stupid to try eating a booming voice. Maybe you'll prefer weeds?
VEE! EEVEE EEV!
Oh, so the WEBMASTER is the only being that you won't hunt down and tear into shreds.
Eevee...
Do you have any idea how much stress you're causing? I'm very sensitive, you know.
EEV! EEEVEEE!
I have so been through worse experiences! Now go eat some trees.
Eevee eevee eev!
Yes, that was meant to be an insult to your IQ level! Go away!
TODDLING EGG-THING appeared!
I don't know whether to be grateful or concerned about this thing's appearance. If you have to eat something, EVIL EEVEE, eat that!
EVIL EEVEE bounded up to TODDLING EGG-THING!
Eevee?
TODDLING EGG-THING: Briie!
AUGGH! Kill it, EVIL EEVEE!
FRED: I'm going to kill that EVIL EEVEE to avenge my foot!
NARRATOR is panicking!
NARRATOR froze FRED and WEEDLE in a snowball!
NARRATOR is quite proud of it...considering NARRATOR has never made one before in its existence.
NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR LIFE STORY!
Eevee eevee! Veee!
TODDLING EGG-THING: Togi togi! Briie!
EVIL EEVEE, use your BITE attack on that TODDLING EGG-THING!
EVIL EEVEE used BITE!
CHOMP!
EVIL EEVEE bit the TODDLING EGG-THING!
It's not very effective.
NARRATOR groans in disbelief!
Eevee eevee eeev...
NARRATOR will make a dental appointment after the battle!
TODDLING EGG-THING used SHELL SLAM!
It's super effective!
EVIL EEVEE is lying on the ground, writhing in agony!
It hurts just to watch!
NARRATOR used TEMPERATURE TRANSFER!
NARRATOR TRANSFERRED TEMPERATURE from outside to inside AZURE VERSION!
TEMPERATURE rose to 38°C (100.4°F)!
NARRATOR is not accepting any comments from anyone not dealing with such warm TEMPERATURES!
Eeeveee!!!
NARRATOR is reminded that it takes boiling water to boil an EGG!
NARRATOR cursed its MENTAL BLOCK!
SNOWBALL is melting!
FRED and WEEDLE have thawed out!
NARRATOR cursed again!
FRED: Good, EVIL EEVEE hasn't run away yet. WEEDLE, just sneak up on it and -
NARRATOR used STUN SPORE!
FRED was paralysed! He may not attack!
WEEDLE was unaffected!
NARRATOR used GLARE!
WEEDLE freaked out! And was paralysed!
It may not attack!
EEVEE!
NARRATOR doesn't think the heat is an excuse for EVIL EEVEE to forfeit!
EVIL EEVEE keeled over in fatigue!
TODDLING EGG-THING used METRONOME!
TODDLING EGG-THING used PSYCHIC!
Why is METRONOME never that good when my POKÉMON use it?
EVIL EEVEE has only 3 HP left!
Eeeee...
EVIL EEVEE, use your DEVOUR attack!
TODDLING EGG-THING: Briie, togi togi!
CRUNCH
EEEVEEE!!!
TODDLING EGG-THING beat EVIL EEVEE in the DEVOURING DEPARTMENT!
NARRATOR watches in shock as EVIL EEVEE continues to writhe away in its dying moments!
NARRATOR is really beginning to freak out!
NARRATOR used HYPER POTION on EVIL EEVEE!
No effect!
NARRATOR used MAX REVIVE on EVIL EEVEE!
No effect!
NARRATOR can't let a character die when NARRATOR didn't plan it!
NARRATOR tried LEMONADE on EVIL EEVEE!
No effect!
NARRATOR cursed at the waste of LEMONADE!
It would've been very helpful in these temperatures.
NARRATOR tried EVERY ITEM IN EXISTENCE on EVIL EEVEE!
Still no effect!
NARRATOR still has one last chance!
NARRATOR used NARRATOR POWERS!
No effect!?
EVIL EEVEE lost and died!
TODDLING EGG-THING wins!
...
...
NARRATOR is getting really, really scared!
What went wrong?

Player: Fred [Record: 1-3-0] Last seen: earlier, paralysed by Narrator

NARRATOR used FULL RESTORE on FRED and WEEDLE!
Thanks...I think.
NARRATOR will ignore that remark!
FRED and WEEDLE had better RUN if they value their LIVES!
I'm not going anywhere until that EVIL EEVEE is dead and its flesh is rotting!
CUT IT OUT! NARRATOR doesn't like such graphic descriptions!
You call that graphic?
When accompanied with the real thing, YES!
NARRATOR is going to throw up now!
...
Huh? This NARRATOR doesn't seem to have a very strong stomach...OH @#$%&!!!
NARRATOR is guessing that FRED and WEEDLE now know what's going on!
*gulp* Yeah. What happened here?
Does FRED really want to know?
Guess so.
EVIL EEVEE has fallen victim at the hands of the dreaded TODDLING EGG-THING!
You mean that TOGEPI over near EVIL EEVEE?
YES!
C'mon, I'm not that stupid! Just tell the truth!
How would FRED like to know that the dreaded TODDLING EGG-THING's true title is THE RUST-SHELLED TOGEPI OF HORROR?!
Not only is that the most stupid title I've ever heard of, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE THROWING IN A DOOMPUFF SPIN-OFF!
It wasn't NARRATOR! NARRATOR didn't want such an idea! Maybe it was the WEBMASTER's PLAN!
IT WAS NOT! YOU'VE HEARD WHAT I THINK OF THE IDEA!
NARRATOR remembers now!
THE RUST-SHELLED TOGEPI OF HORROR was a creation by LL! LL must have released it to avenge her demotion to MINOR CHARACTER!
All that confront THE RUST-SHELLED TOGEPI OF HORROR are set to die a death more excruciatingly painful than being tortured by a NARRATOR!
In other words, having this TOGEPI toddle towards us isn't a good thing?
NARRATOR is paying attention to the scene again!
AUGGH! RUN FOR IT!
Maybe I can deal with it!
IS FRED COMPLETELY INSANE?
IF FRED AND WEEDLE DON'T RUN NOW, NARRATOR WILL STRIKE THEM BOTH DEAD ON THE SPOT!
That's a good enough reason to run! HEEELLLPPP!!!
FRED and WEEDLE ran!
FRED and WEEDLE got away safely!
Sort of!

Player: Tim [Record: 1-3-0] Last battle: Win v. Weed #1

TIM and DRAGONDAY are racing towards EVIL EEVEE!
NARRATOR thinks that's a stupid thing to do!
You just want to torture us even more with your modified NARRATION TECHNIQUE! I'm not going to turn back!
NARRATOR advises TIM and DRAGONDAY run back at top speed and hide the first chance they get!
Oh yeah, since when do you care about what we do?
Since NARRATOR isn't planning to have TIM and DRAGONDAY murdered as yet!
So RUN FOR IT!
TIM and DRAGONDAY continue to race towards EVIL EEVEE!
And collided with FRED and WEEDLE!
Everybody is feeling rather dizzy!
There's no time for that!
FRED: AUGGH! Get out of my way!
What the heck do you think you're doing?
FRED: Wondering how anyone could be so psycho as to not run in the same direction as me!
You know, I think some of my MEDICATION might be useful for you.
FRED: Just RUN!!!
FRED and WEEDLE continue to run away from EVIL EEVEE!
Wait! You still need my MEDICATION!
TIM and DRAGONDAY race after FRED and WEEDLE!
NARRATOR spots THE RUST-SHELLED TOGEPI OF HORROR slowly chewing on EVIL EEVEE!
NARRATOR screamed and escaped!

Backtrack: Trying to ignore the problem concerning Azure Version's Doompuff spin-off, the Narrator has been talking to kids about Santa, which, of course, is going to cause other problems.

Battle #8: Festive Fall-Out December 21, 2000
Setting: Azure Version/TV Show
Player: Brock [Record: none]

Huh? What the @#$%& is going on? Where'd ASH and MISTY go?
NARRATOR wonders whether BROCK uses that language in front of his friends!
None of your business!
Actually, it is NARRATOR's business!
NARRATOR is starting to get sick of writing like this: @#$%& all the time!
Why don't you just write @#$%& then?!
Because NARRATOR is restricted by the RSACi!
So BROCK ought to stick to the language he uses in the TV SERIES!
But that's scripted!
NARRATOR doesn't care!
You still haven't told me what's going on!
This particular dimension of BROCK is in AZURE VERSION of the POKÉ BATTLES NETWORK!
As far as NARRATOR knows, there are a few other BROCKS around in the POKÉ BATTLES NETWORK!
So I'm all over the place?
BINGO!
Do I get a prize?
NO!
Rats. Hey, while I'm here, do you think you could set me up with NURSE JOY or OFFICER JENNY?
Neither exist in AZURE VERSION!
Even if they did, NARRATOR wouldn't set BROCK up with them for $1 MILLION!
Do you really mean that?
Of course not! But NARRATOR knows BROCK doesn't have $1 MILLION!
Oh.
Actually, NARRATOR wants to ask BROCK about his latest song in the TV SERIES, where he's going blah blah blah about whether he likes OFFICER JENNY or NURSE JOY better!
I hope this isn't what I think it is...
NARRATOR wants to know how BROCK reached the HIGH NOTES in the SOUNDTRACK RECORDING!
It's what I thought it would be...
NARRATOR demands an ANSWER!
Um...erm...I don't think the ANSWER would really be suitable for younger visitors to know.
Does NARRATOR have to REPHRASE the question?
Do I have to answer it either way?
NARRATOR hates it when people answer a question with another question!
*sigh*
Did BROCK get extra MONEY for reaching the HIGH NOTES?
About $10,000.
WOW! NARRATOR should've been hired to do the HIGH-NOTE-REACHING! NARRATOR needs some money for CHRISTMAS, and NARRATOR can reach HIGH NOTES easily! Not to mention -
WILL YOU CHANGE THE SUBJECT?!
What? NARRATOR was just having a good laugh over the matter!
Okay, NARRATOR will revert to its previous state of weirdness!
Is that even a word?
WHO CARES?
Great. I'm stuck in a version in which neither OFFICER JENNY or NURSE JOY exist, and what does exist is some stupid NARRATOR who likes asking very...um, personal questions.
This NARRATOR happens to be very close to its CHARACTERS!
You're kidding, right?
Well...'close' as in 'NARRATOR bugs them a lot'.
Oh, phew.
WHAT IS BROCK HINTING?
BROCK IS EVEN WORSE THAN NARRATOR!
I've decided this is definitely a day in the CRAZY department.
Welcome to AZURE VERSION!
NARRATOR needs to send BROCK on a MISSION of some sort!
...
...
Are you going to say anything else in this battle?
SHUT UP AND LET NARRATOR THINK!
I hate it here...
Uh-oh.
What do you mean, 'uh-oh'?
NARRATOR didn't expect the SPIRIT of the HOLIDAY SEASON to turn people NASTY!
Just explain what you're talking about!
Too late!
GROUP OF PARENTS appeared!
GROUP OF PARENTS is renamed GOP!
GOP PRESIDENT appeared!
GOP PRESIDENT is renamed GOPP!
GOPP: Young man, get out of our way. We're looking for the AZURE VERSION NARRATOR.
Well, it's talking right now, but it's somewhere around there.
BROCK is indicating somewhere in the sky!
NARRATOR cursed itself for not making BROCK loyal to AZURE VERSION!
GOPP: Wait, I think I can hear the NARRATOR!
GOPP is indicating somewhere in the sky!
NARRATOR normally likes getting attention, but getting the GOP's attention is dangerous!
GOPP: You're not that smart, are you?
What makes GOPP say that?
GOPP: Well, you're saying everything on your mind.
NARRATOR cursed itself again!
GOPP: Young man, would you know how we could get to the NARRATOR?
Well, you could always ask personal questions...
GOPP: I MEAN LITERALLY!
Oops. I wouldn't know, I've only been here a few minutes.
GOPP: Darn.
Hey, BROCK.
You're talking to me?
Yes! Now keep your voice down!
This is a first: a NARRATOR confiding in a CHARACTER.
Shut up and listen!
NARRATOR won't bug BROCK so much if he gets rid of GOP.
Why don't you just get rid of them? NARRATORS are pretty powerful, aren't they?
NARRATORS can be restricted!
Cool, I wanna hear this.
Hey, if BROCK tries to use any of this info against NARRATOR, he can be sure that NARRATOR will feed him to AZURE VERSION's DOOMPUFF SPIN-OFF!
*gulp* Okay.
Specifically, AZURE VERSION's NARRATOR is restricted by the AZURE WEBMASTER, the RSACi, the POKÉ BATTLES NETWORK RULES -
You mean the network has rules?
Well, yes but no.
Huh?
Explaining it further would be too complicated, so NARRATOR is ending the matter here!
NARRATOR is also restricted by a whole bunch of LEGAL STUFF and PARENTS: the WEBMASTER's and OTHERS.
Just get to the point!
The point is that GOP wants to get rid of NARRATOR for -
GOPP: - for going around telling our young kids that SANTA CLAUS doesn't exist!
NARRATOR thinks PARENTS are setting a bad example for their kids by EAVESDROPPING!
GOPP: How can you call hearing what you say EAVESDROPPING when you're so loud that anyone around here could hear you?
GOPP should keep quiet for a minute! NARRATOR hasn't finished talking to BROCK yet!
How could you go around upsetting kids like that at this time of year?!
GOPP: I am not waiting a moment longer! I speak on behalf of GOP, who all agree the world would be better off without you, NARRATOR!
BROCK was poked in the back!
BROCK nearly bumped into GOPP!
NARRATOR just wants GOP to know that NARRATOR has been set up by this VINDICTIVE person known as BROCK!
NARRATOR would never want to upset little kids!
I WOULDN'T UPSET KIDS! THE NARRATOR IS SETTING ME UP!
GOPP: This certainly makes things more complicated. NARRATOR, a lot of parents have complained about you, and we've heard you ourselves. How can you possibly prove your innocence?
NARRATOR will explain!
Hey, I've got 10 younger brothers and sisters at home! I'm not the sort of person who would tell kids to question SANTA CLAUS' existence!
Then how come BROCK left home and didn't continue to help his FATHER out with the kids instead?
GOP is muttering among themselves!
NARRATOR thinks GOP should also know that BROCK has an obsession with finding a GIRLFRIEND, and has been funny in the head since being dumped as PROFESSOR IVY's ASSISTANT!
Don't mention that name, and what's all this got to do with anything?!
GOP is still muttering!
NARRATOR wants to compare BROCK to itself; NARRATOR devotes itself to trying to write something to entertain site visitors, while BROCK is being VINDICTIVE and generally RUDE! Just look at the way BROCK's EYES are!
GOP continue to mutter!
You can't believe a word this @#$%& NARRATOR is saying!
Now, this is the part where BROCK definitely gets on the GOP's BAD SIDE!
Hey!
GOP finally stop muttering among themselves!
GOPP: After much discussion, we have decided that BROCK, not the AZURE VERSION NARRATOR, is guilty of the accusations of telling our little kids that SANTA CLAUS does not exist.
NOOOOO!!!!!
NARRATOR is grateful to GOP for, as always, being right!
WHAT @#$%&!!!
BROCK ought to know that he is in serious trouble!
Especially as BROCK continues to mutter obscenities under his breath!
NARRATOR suggests BROCK be punished by facing the entire GOP in a POKÉ BATTLE!
GOPP: That sounds fair!

Player: GOPP (representing GOP) [Record: none]

GOP wants to fight!
GOPP sent out GOP MEMBER#6!
BROCK sent out ONIX!
BROCK: I'm going to ask you this reasonably...How many people are there in this GOP?
NARRATOR would guess about 50!
BROCK: AUGGH!
GEODUDE fainted!
BROCK: WHAT?!
While BROCK was distracted, GOP M#6 attacked GEODUDE with a PICKAXE!
That should teach BROCK a lesson!
Use next Pokémon?
BROCK: Of course!
BROCK sent out ONIX!
All right, good work GOP M#6. You're next, GOP M#35!
GOPP withdrew GOP M#6!
GOPP sent out GOP M#35!
ONIX used SLAM!
Its attack missed!
Good thing you're a former gymnast, GOP M#35!
GOP M#35 used PRACTICE ROUTINE!
ONIX is getting dizzy!
ONIX is confused!
ONIX hurt itself in its confusion!
ONIX is also hurting GOP M#35 in the process!
ONIX fainted!
GOP M#35 fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
BROCK sent out VULPIX!
Oh well, at least GOP M#35 fell gracefully. Your turn now, GOP M#23!
GOPP sent out GOP M#23!
VULPIX used FIRE SPIN!
GOP M#23 was burnt!
GOP M#23 fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
The things we endure for our children...Oh, no!
AZURE VERSION was set on fire - AUGGH!
GOP is moving back...very quickly!
NARRATOR is mad!
No one has a right to set AZURE VERSION on fire unless it's supposed to be!
HUGE RAIN CLOUDS appeared!
HUGE RAIN CLOUDS used POUR!
It's super effective!
The fire was extinguished!
VULPIX fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
BROCK sent out ZUBAT!
ZUBAT is soaked with rain!
ZUBAT still hasn't fainted!
NARRATOR withdrew HUGE RAIN CLOUDS while sulking!
Um, I'd better send out GOP M#46.
GOPP sent out GOP M#46!
ZUBAT used SUPERSONIC!
GOP M#46 is confused!
GOP M#46 thinks she's a SKYDIVER!
GOP M#46 jumped up with a PARACHUTE!
ZUBAT used LEECH LIFE!
Its attack missed!
GOP M#46 used SKY DIVE!
It's super effective!
ZUBAT fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
BROCK sent out BROCK!
GOP M#46 crashed to the ground!
PARACHUTE was renamed BACKPACK!
GOP M#46 is confused no more!
Um...SUPERSONIC makes people do strange things, doesn't it?
GOP M#46 is really shaken up!
GOP M#46 refuses to continue battling!
All right. Your turn, GOP M#12!
GOPP withdrew GOP M#46!
GOPP sent out GOP M#12!
BROCK used BLINK!
BROCK blinked!
GOP M#12 fainted in shock!
Rats. NARRATOR wanted to ask GOP M#12 what BROCK's EYES look like.
This is going to be tough...Would you like to get rid of this ruiner-of-Christmas?
GOP CO-PRESIDENT: Of course!
GOPP withdrew GOP M#12!
GOPP sent out GOP CO-PRESIDENT!
GOP CO-PRESIDENT is renamed GOPCP!
BROCK: Hello...I'm dreadfully sorry about this situation we're both in. After it's all over, would you like to come and have dinner with me, sweetie?
GOPCP is already married!
To GOPP!
GOPCP used SLAP!
GOPCP slapped BROCK beyond recognition!
GOPP slapped BROCK beyond the state of being beyond recognition!
That's what you get for trying to flirt with my wife!!!
BROCK: I should've seen that coming...
This BROCK person is obviously out of his mind.
BROCK fainted!
GOP wins!
Our mission is accomplished. Everybody, we had better leave. Make sure you don't forget to carry GOP M#35, #23, and #12. Oh, GOP M#46 might need some help walking too. BTW, NARRATOR?
Yep?
Thanks for the help.
Anytime!
GOP is leaving!
SANTA's HEAD ELF appeared in front of them!
NARRATOR cursed silently!
SANTA's HEAD ELF: My name is Elfin, AZURE VERSION NARRATOR.
NARRATOR thinks it might not be a good idea to ask how original the name 'ELFIN' is!
SANTA's HEAD ELF is renamed ELFIN!

Player: Elfin [Record: none]

NARRATOR wants to know how SANTA can afford to let his HEAD ELF travel around just days before Christmas!
You sound rather sceptical.
Of course NARRATOR sounds sceptical!
It's not every day NARRATOR confronts an ELF!
In fact, this is the first time NARRATOR has seen a real live one!
Well, you've never come to the NORTH POLE, have you?
NARRATOR has to admit that ELFIN is right about that one!
But NARRATOR can not be blamed!
NARRATOR - in fact, WEBMASTER - would freeze to death travelling to the NORTH POLE!
GOP wants to know what ELFIN is doing here!
I'm going around the world, reprimanding people who try and brainwash little kids into thinking SANTA CLAUS does not exist!
ELFIN shouldn't worry about AZURE VERSION/DIMENSION! GOP and NARRATOR have already gotten rid of BROCK!
Wait a minute! You, NARRATOR, have been the one upsetting kids! BROCK has simply been your SCAPEGOAT!
NARRATOR didn't know that!
YES YOU DID!
ELFIN is frowning at NARRATOR!
GOP is frowning at NARRATOR - and the members are getting out their weapons!
NARRATOR doesn't like the look of this!
The SPIRIT of the HOLIDAY SEASON definitely isn't what it's supposed to be!
I've been keeping an eye on you and the website you work on. All we have to do is go through a portal connected to AZURE VERSION HQ and finish you off from there.
NARRATOR thinks it's a pity an AZURE VERSION SITE VISITOR is such a disagreeable character!
You're not making anything easier for yourself by making comments like that. C'mon GOP, let's find that portal!
ELFIN and GOP are looking for the AZURE VERSION HQ PORTAL!
NARRATOR can't believe it can get into trouble for something completely unrelated to its commitment to AZURE VERSION!
NARRATOR thinks SANTA has got COMMERCIAL CONNECTIONS anyway!
Doesn't ELFIN or GOP realise SANTA only got his RED COAT as part of COCA-COLA's MARKETING CAMPAIGN?!
...
NARRATOR can't stand it when it's ignored!
NARRATOR also isn't warming to the idea of being gotten rid of by an ELF and GOP!
NARRATOR is very sensitive!
ELFIN and GOP are still searching for AZURE VERSION HQ PORTAL!
NARRATOR would just like a peaceful Christmas without being picked on by CHARACTERS!
NARRATOR just made an OUT-OF-CHARACTER confession!
NARRATOR needs to get away!
NARRATOR escaped!
...
...
Where has that NARRATOR gone? Honestly, it's its second week back and...*sigh* I suppose if I have to narrate, I'd better change the colour of this text...
WEBMASTER notices ELFIN and GOP looking for AZURE VERSION HQ PORTAL!
You mean you're the WEBMASTER?
Yes!
Well, if you help us locate the HQ PORTAL, we promise to leave you alone and just get rid of the NARRATOR.
What sort of deal is that?!
Well, I think it sounds pretty good. You stay uninjured, and we get what we want!
NEVER!
WEBMASTER has done too much to retrieve NARRATOR to give it up!
And do either ELFIN or GOP realise that messing with a WEBMASTER is a VERY BAD IDEA?
Well, you're definitely on our list of naughty kids!
GOPP: You're a disgrace to your parents!
Believe it or not, WEBMASTER's PARENTS are nicer than those in GOP!
And WEBMASTER would hardly be getting what she would like for Christmas from the NORTH POLE anyway!
Why, what do you want?
It doesn't concern an ELF, that's for sure!
WEBMASTER revived BROCK!
BROCK: What in the @#$%& has happened...
WEBMASTER made semi-conscious BROCK open his EYES!
GOP screamed in fright!
GOP ran like mad to wherever it came from!
I think I'd better see how everyone's going at the NORTH POLE...
ELFIN disappeared quickly!
BROCK's EYES went back to normal!

Player: Brock [Record: 0-1-0] Last battle: earlier, Loss v. GOP

BROCK is finally fully conscious!
Huh? Hey, are you the WEBMASTER?
WEBMASTER thought that would be quite obvious!
No offence to you, but I hate your NARRATOR.
WEBMASTER takes great offence!
WEBMASTER sees no reason as to why she shouldn't!
Hmmm...you may not be NURSE JOY or OFFICER JENNY, but you sound cute!
BROCK has risen to a higher level of DESPERATION than has ever been seen before!
WEBMASTER has never been so deeply offended in her entire life!
I thought you would've been flattered.
WHAT?!
WEBMASTER used CD PLAYER!
CD PLAYER played BROCK's SONG - 'TWO PERFECT GIRLS'!
AUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
BROCK fainted from humiliation!
WEBMASTER is still trying to figure out how BROCK reached the HIGH NOTES!
Oh well...WEBMASTER wins!

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