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Backtrack:
After considerable trouble with Prof. Wood, the 'DEMY' alliance has travelled the short trip from Pallet Town to Viridian City. (Well, it was supposed to be short.) Their stay shouldn't take all that long either. They hope so, anyway.
Battle #11: Viridian Events
January 13, 2001
Setting:
Viridian City - Azure Dimension/TV Show
Player: Fred
[Record: 1-4-0] Last seen: #10, began his 'Pokémon journey'
YAAAY!
NARRATOR can't see the big deal of getting from PALLET TOWN to VIRIDIAN CITY!
This past week has been a really, really long one. I HATE IT HERE!
WEEDLE and TIM agree!
DRAGONDAY is tempted to!
NARRATOR doesn't care if DEMY are sick of their POKÉMON JOURNEY or not!
DEMY are to be stuck here until -
Huh? Until what?
Oops! NARRATOR never said a word!
DEMY had better get on with their JOURNEY!
ONE WEEK to get from PALLET to VIRIDIAN is a very pathetic start!
I know that ASH kid made it in about a day, but that was because he was stupid enough to get a flock of SPEAROW mad, jumped off a waterfall, and stole that other kid's bike.
Does FRED have a really bad memory, or didn't 'that other kid' have a name?!
It's not my fault I can't remember every little thing that ever happened in the TV SHOW! I've been stuck in here since October last year!
FRED makes a POINT!
The POINT was snatched before FRED could use it against NARRATOR!
These PUNS look recycled.
FRED is only sulking because he had his POINT snatched from him!
TIM:
Can we get back to what is happening?
NARRATOR has to agree!
NARRATOR demands to know why it has taken DEMY so long to go from PALLET to VIRIDIAN!
Even a TORTOISE could've gotten there faster!
Yeah, but the TORTOISE would've been allowed to ride on DRAGONDAY's BACK! DRAGONDAY wouldn't FLY us here! -
OW!
DRAGONDAY swung its TAIL at FRED!
Critical hit!
Obviously...
DRAGONDAY wants to be treated as a fellow TRAINER, not a mode of transportation!
Why can't you be more like that LAPRAS that ASH and those other people rode around the ORANGE ISLANDS? It would make things easier for all of us!
DRAGONDAY argues that LAPRAS was only a baby and didn't know any better!
And LAPRAS wasn't a TRAINER!
How would you know about LAPRAS and the ORANGE ISLANDS? You wouldn't know a thing about the TV
SHOW!
DRAGONDAY just knows!
How?
DRAGONDAY DOES, AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!
DOES FRED NEED TO HEAR THAT AGAIN?
No thanks. Uh, shouldn't we all head for the POKÉMON CENTRE now we're here?
Not until DEMY gets past OFFICER JENNIFER #1!
Says who?
Says NARRATOR!
OFFICER JENNIFER #1 appeared!
She did not! She's been at the POLICE STATION all this time, and we've just walked up to the place!
DOES FRED WANT TO ARGUE WITH NARRATOR?
Fine, OFFICER JENNIFER #1 appeared.
Setting:
Viridian City Police Station - Azure Dimension/TV Show
Player: Officer Jennifer #1
[Record: 1-0-0] Last seen: Fanfic #1, arguing over money with fellow Officers
OFFICER JENNIFER #1 is making LOUD ANNOUNCEMENTS to unfortunate VRs!
OFFICER JENNIFER #1 is too long a NICKNAME!
OFFICER JENNIFER #1 was renamed JEN!
Player: Jen
THAT'S HARDLY A NAME WHICH COMMANDS RESPECT!
NARRATOR can't see JENNIFER commanding any more RESPECT than JEN!
What's more, JEN doesn't have to KEEP YELLING ALL THE TIME!
You're in a bad mood today, aren't you?
JEN has no right to suggest that to a NARRATOR!
Just let me get back to my ANNOUNCEMENTS then!
NARRATOR is shoving EARPLUGS in its EARS!
ATTENTION CITIZENS OF VIRIDIAN CITY!
STUPID @#$%& EARPLUGS DON'T WORK!
WE HAVE REPORTS OF POKÉMON POACHERS IN THE VICINITY!
NARRATOR suspects JEN is STEALING lines from the TV SHOW!
BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR SUSPICIOUS STRANGERS!
NINTENDO, 4KIDS ENTERTAINMENT and a whole bunch of other BIG COMPANIES appeared!
NARRATOR is about to suffer a PANIC ATTACK!
NARRATOR will get JEN back...after getting rid of all the BIG COMPANIES!
...
What do you know? I got rid of the NARRATOR single-handedly! Cool...
FRED:
Have we appeared in this scene yet?
TIM:
We didn't appear, OFFICER JENNIFER - I mean, JEN - did. I think.
FRED:
No, I think it's our turn to appear.
TIM:
Why don't we just let the NARRATOR sort this out?
Look, I've found SUSPICIOUS STRANGERS. I may as well sneak up on them and arrest them -
FRED:
Too late, we heard you coming.
Just what do you think you two are doing, letting your POKÉMON stay out of their POKÉ BALLS?!
FRED:
At least you don't waste time getting to the point - but if I want WEEDLE to stay out of its POKÉ BALL, THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS!
TIM:
And I wouldn't like to deal with the pain I'd get from trying to shove a TRAINER and ALLY into a POKÉ BALL!
Excuses, excuses, that's all I ever get - HEY! You're those escapees from AZURE VERSION PRISON!
FRED:
We are? I don't remember - oh, yeah.
TIM:
AUGGH! I was hoping no one would remember that!
CHARACTERS' HOPES are never any use! You are all under arrest for...we'll decide what you're arrested for later! Just march yourselves into the POLICE STATION like good, guilty, prison escapees and let me contact the AZURE VERSION POLICE
UNIT.
TIM:
Is it too late to make a run for it?
FRED:
Where is the @#$%& NARRATOR when you need one?!
In that case, don't co-operate! I'll just have to HANDCUFF you all!
WEEDLE argues that it has no HANDS!
What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the middle of being sued by all those BIG COMPANIES!
NARRATOR just shoved them in the CREDITS!
And NARRATOR notices that JEN has managed to lock her HANDCUFFS onto her own HANDS!
I'm not that stupid!
JEN has done it once, and has done it again!
YOU @#$%& LIAR! And I'll prove it once and for - oh, @#$%&.
Now who's the LIAR?
NARRATOR is LAUGHING EVILLY!
Where the heck did I leave that KEY? Oh yeah, it's still at the PRISON - Hey, STOP LAUGHING!
NARRATOR and DEMY are LOL!
Well, STOP IT! And stay where you are while I call in the POLICE UNIT!
Ha ha ha...JEN is making a LOUD PHONE CALL to the unfortunate POLICE UNIT!
If my hands weren't HANDCUFFED - Hey, #2!
#2:
I want a better nickname!
Tough!
#2:
Stupid voice -
What did #2 say?!
#2:
Eep! Have mercy!
#2 will be let off just this once!
Excuse me, this is my phone call! Stop eavesdropping!
NARRATOR can do whatever it likes! JEN may as well save her breath for #2!
*inaudible mumbling* I need you and the others here NOW! I've found some escapees from AZURE VERSION PRISON and I need
help arresting them!
#2:
You HANDCUFFED yourself again?
Don't change the subject! Hurry up and GET HERE!
#2:
But I didn't know anything about a breakout from AZURE VERSION PRISON! Weren't the DEATHGUARDS on
patrol?
How should I know? COME ON, WE HAVE PEOPLE TO ARREST!
#2:
Who cares about a couple of CRIMINALS walking free around the world? We're all looking for #3 over here! Crime in CELADON and SAFFRON'S getting really bad, and she's just VANISHED into thin air!
THIN AIR denies any involvement in the disappearance of #3!
Knowing #3, she's probably going around the world accepting BRIBES from everybody.
#6:
But then she would've asked me to come!
Huh? Is everybody over there in CERULEAN?
#2:
Everyone but you and #3! Now come over and help us look for her!
NO! STUFF #3, WE CAN'T LET THESE ESCAPEES ESCAPE FROM US AGAIN!
#2:
We're not coming over to your STATION, so you'll just have to come over HERE!
WE'LL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT, YOU @#$%& @#$%&!
Doesn't JEN know when someone's hung up the phone on her?
You know how hard it is to slam the phone on someone when you're HANDCUFFED?
What does that matter?
SCREAMING had to do!
NARRATOR can't believe a POLICE UNIT can be made up of such WEIRD PEOPLE!
You should be able to! Now, I may as well deal with those ESCAPEES on my own, as no one wants to help out in the name of
JUSTICE.
NARRATOR doesn't think JUSTICE has anything to do with it!
JEN is just an unlikable sort of person!
I am so sick of having to listen to you! I just want to go and ARREST those troublemakers!
JEN went back outside the POLICE STATION!
There's no one to ARREST!
And even if there was, it would've been hard to JEN to ARREST ANYBODY!
NARRATOR is LOL again!
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST ME?
The AZURE VERSION POLICE UNIT is supposed to be controlled by NARRATOR, but JEN hasn't been CO-OPERATIVE!
And NARRATOR wants to know what happened to #3 a lot more than seeing MAIN CHARACTERS in PRISON!
*sigh* I just can't win, can I?
If JEN was more intelligent, she would've realised that a long time ago!
I'd better head over to CERULEAN, then...
JEN is leaving for CERULEAN!
JEN is trying to get onto her MOTORBIKE!
MOTORBIKE wants to fight!
WHY?
Because MOTORBIKE will not allow CRIMINALS to ride it!
I am not a CRIMINAL! STUPID BIKE!
MOTORBIKE was programmed to identify CRIMINALS as HANDCUFFED PEOPLE!
All right, NARRATOR, you've had enough fun making my life difficult! NOW CALM THIS BIKE DOWN!
NARRATOR didn't program the BIKE! It's up to JEN to fix it!
BIKE sent out BIKE!
You can't just leave me here! I can't do anything until you fix this BIKE!
...
I HATE YOU!
Setting:
Viridian City Pokémon Centre - Azure Dimension/TV Show
Player: Fred
[Record: 1-4-0] Last seen: earlier, escaped Jen
DEMY appeared at the POKÉMON CENTRE!
Actually, we've been here for ages, but we haven't been allowed to go in until you showed up. WHAT TOOK YOU SO
LONG?
NARRATOR has been busy making JEN suffer!
DEMY should be grateful that NARRATOR didn't let JEN arrest them!
It's not like she could have!
Does FRED want to make a bet?!
TIM:
Why haven't I been allowed to get the MAIN CHARACTER TEXT in this battle?
TIM is whining!
It's super irritating!
NARRATOR wants to know if TIM'S ever been better off with the MAIN CHARACTER TEXT!
TIM:
People are always picking on me!
STOP COMPLAINING!
TIM:
SEE?
WEEDLE and DRAGONDAY have already gone into the POKÉMON CENTRE!
If FRED and TIM want to get in there by NIGHTFALL, they'd better start walking in!
Since when do we have NIGHTFALL around here?!
NIGHTFALL is about to occur!
I sense a PUN in the making - I'm out of here!
FRED ran into the POKÉMON CENTRE!
TIM:
Can I get the MAIN CHARACTER TEXT now?
Let NARRATOR think about it!
Uh...no.
TIM:
I'm not going anywhere until I get different coloured TEXT!
NARRATOR has never known anyone to make such a big deal over TEXT before!
Oh well, NARRATOR isn't the one that's going to suffer!
NIGHT FELL over VIRIDIAN CITY!
TIM:
HELP!
I've changed my mind, I just want to go inside the POKÉMON CENTRE now!
NIGHTFALL is one of the few things NARRATOR does not control!
TIM will just have to find the ENTRANCE in the DARK!
TIM:
Good thing the lights are on inside the POKÉMON CENTRE - all I have to do is find the light...
TIM must be blind!
Or the POKÉMON CENTRE has had a BLACKOUT!
TIM:
So, which one's happened?
NARRATOR isn't saying!
NARRATOR is enjoying watching TIM walk around in CIRCLES and through various GARDEN BEDS!
TIM:
Hey, how can you see me in the dark?!
NARRATOR JUST CAN!
TIM SHOULD KNOW THAT BY NOW!
TIM walked into a GLASS DOOR!
GLASS DOOR is too tired to fight!
TIM:
I get a lucky break at last.
GLASS DOOR fell asleep!
And used SHATTER in the process!
TIM fell through the GLASS DOOR!
TIM:
I can't see any lights, and I'm being tortured by a NARRATOR! LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING!
Oh, you finally got in. NOW SHUT UP!
TIM:
For an ALLY, you're not a very good one. And I notice the LIGHTS are back on in this POKÉMON CENTRE.
We all got bored of waiting for you, so we messed with the light switches. By the way, why in the world are you covered in TWIGS, LEAVES and GLASS?
TIM:
Uh...no reason. I just need a bunch of bandages to stop all this blood going everywhere.
Gross. You'll have to wait for a NURSE to turn up though - I haven't seen one yet.
NARRATOR just remembered!
NARRATOR never got around to getting NURSES for AZURE VERSION!
TIM:
SO I HAVE TO DIE?!
NARRATOR needs a second!
Um...NURSE JOYCE appeared!
NURSE JOYCE was shortened to JOYCE!
JOYCE looked at DEMY!
JOYCE frowned!
Oh, we're stuck with a NURSE who doesn't like us.
JOYCE:
We have a DOORMAT, y'know! Now you've all gotten DIRT on the FLOOR, and - Look at all this! GLASS, TWIGS, LEAVES and
blood! You should be ashamed of yourselves!
TIM:
Now you've finished yelling, could I have a few bandages?
JOYCE:
NO! They're for POKÉMON only! Go find a HOSPITAL if you need anything like that, otherwise you'll just have to wait until this mess has been cleaned up!
Do HOSPITALS even exist in this world?
TIM:
Yay, little sparkly star thingies are spinning round now...
This is getting really freaky.
NARRATOR is about to lose its patience!
AUGGH! NARRATOR wants something more eventful to happen!
NARRATOR used FULL RESTORE on TIM!
TIM:
I'm going to miss those stars.
TIM was whacked over the head!
TIM:
Oh, they're back.
JOYCE:
IS ANYONE GOING TO CLEAN UP THIS MESS?!
JOYCE wants to fight!
JOYCE sent out MAYBEY!
You mean CHANSEY!
NARRATOR means MAYBEY!
*sigh* Let's go, everyone!
DEMY want to fight!
Go, WEEDLE!
FRED sent out WEEDLE!
DRAGONDAY sent out CHARMANDER!
TIM:
It's times like this I wish I had a POKÉMON of my own. Go, STARS!
TIM sent out STARS!
JOYCE:
I hate being outnumbered! MAYBEY, use your -
JEN appeared!
JEN:
Stupid...bike...had to...push it...here...
JOYCE:
YOU KNOW, WE HAVE A DRIVEWAY! NOW YOU'VE MADE A BIGGER MESS!
JEN:
SO? HEY, I've found the PRISON ESCAPEES again! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!
JOYCE:
Not until they clean up this mess!
JEN:
We may as well ally, since we both hate them!
JEN allied with JOYCE!
JEN sent out JEN!
...
The BATTLE is beginning - but NARRATOR can't figure out what everyone is doing!
NARRATOR is attempting to see what is happening inside the BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
JEN was thrown out - clutching a bunch of $50 NOTES!
MAYBEY's HEAD appeared!
MAYBEY's HEAD disappeared!
STARS were scattered throughout the BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
JEN:
I've had enough of this alliance - I have HANDCUFFS to remove and a POLICE UNIT to meet with!
NARRATOR suspects this CHANGE OF HEART has been brought about by those $50 NOTES she's holding!
JEN:
I'll put it this way - this isn't really a CHANGE OF HEART, but this is a welcome CHANGE OF INCOME.
NARRATOR thinks it'll be a good idea to say no more!
No more! : )
JEN:
That was low.
JEN walked back to her BIKE!
BIKE wants to fight!
JEN:
Wouldn't you rather have this fresh $50 NOTE?
BIKE agrees to let JEN ride it!
BIKE drove away!
Like RIDER, like BIKE!
FRED's ARM appeared from the BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
What was that 'Like RIDER, like BIKE' thing s'posed to mea -
FRED's ARM disappeared again!
WEEDLE appeared!
WEEDLE fell to the ground and fainted!
DRAGONDAY's TAIL appeared!
DRAGONDAY's TAIL disappeared!
MAYBEY appeared!
MAYBEY fell out and fainted!
CHARMANDER's TAIL appeared!
CHARMANDER's TAIL disappeared!
TIM appeared!
TIM:
First little sparkling stars, now little chirping birds...
TIM fell out and fainted!
FRED's HEAD appeared!
Darn, one ALLY gone.
FRED's HEAD disappeared!
NARRATOR is getting tired of REPETITION!
NARRATOR is getting tired of REPETITION!
NARRATOR is getting tired of REPE -
FRED appeared!
Nice start to a POKÉMON JOURNEY. NOT!
FRED fell out and fainted!
NARRATOR is fairly sure only DRAGONDAY and JOYCE are still battling!
RANDOM ELECTRIC BOLT strikes the BATTLE DUST CLOUD!
DRAGONDAY fell over and fainted!
JOYCE:
NYAHH! Never mess with a NURSE and expect to WIN! When you all regain consciousness, be assured that you are DOOMED to stay until you clean up this MESS! Pity my MAYBEY had to let me down, though - I'd better go find some MAX
REVIVE.
STARS are blocking JOYCE's PATH!
JOYCE:
Cute, but DON'T THINK YOU CAN STOP ME!
STARS used SKIP!
STARS skipped around JOYCE's HEAD!
JOYCE:
Whoa, these things can really go 'round and 'round...
JOYCE fell over and fainted!
STARS win!
NARRATOR ignores any suggestion that a battle that STARS can win isn't worth NARRATING!
Backtrack:
DEMY have had quite a time in Viridian, dealing with the threat of being re-arrested and the threat of cleaning up the biggest Pokémon Centre ever seen. They've lost to Joyce, but she's lost to a bunch of stars, so...
Battle #12: Travelling Troubles
January 17, 2001
Setting:
Viridian Forest - A. Dimension/TV Show
Player: Tim
[Record: 1-3-1] Last battle: #11, Loss v. Joyce
We're lost, aren't we?
NARRATOR thinks TIM has made a very clever OBSERVATION!
NARRATOR hopes everyone heard the SARCASM dripping from the previous SENTENCE!
You're back again?
TIM should be able to SEE that!
NARRATOR thought DEMY were still stuck at the POKÉMON CENTRE with JOYCE!
Lucky for us, we regained CONSCIOUSNESS before that stupid NURSE did, so we just left her to do the cleaning up. I mean, it's her POKÉMON CENTRE!
NARRATOR was just wondering!
There's no need for TIM to get so hyped up over a QUESTION!
Aren't you supposed to know practically everything?
Sort of!
But sometimes NARRATOR chooses to be WILFULLY IGNORANT, in order to waste time at the beginning of each BATTLE checking on what's been happening!
I think I can hear a MENTAL BLOCK coming...we'd better RUN before we get thrown into some pointless BATTLE.
TIM used RUN!
TIM kept going and crashed!
Into -
Think of something! There's no point suffering EXCRUCIATING PAIN when I don't even know what's caused it!
NARRATOR wants the rest of DEMY to decide what TIM crashed in to!
FRED:
We get NARRATOR-LIKE POWERS?
Um, NARRATOR supposes so.
FRED:
Cool!
Guys, I'd prefer whatever it is you want me to have crashed into to be - y'know, nothing DANGEROUS.
FRED:
Hey, you don't get to decide! I want to savour this chance to make up something!
So much for the alliance...
FRED:
TIM'S crashed into...a BEEDRILL HIVE!
WEEDLE thinks TIM crashed into a BRICK WALL!
DRAGONDAY thinks TIM crashed into...DRAGONDAY feels GUILTY about this!
*sniff* Finally, DRAGONDAY is proving to be a true ALLY.
DRAGONDAY is tired of feeling GUILTY!
DRAGONDAY wants TIM to crash into the FACE of a CLIFF!
I hate you all.
NARRATOR thanks DEMY for their help!
TIM crashed into a BRICK CLIFF where the world's BEEDRILL POPULATION live!
If I was able to get up right now, I'd kill myself.
TIM shouldn't waste his time thinking about doing that!
NARRATOR and WEBMISTRESS are the only people who decide the FATE of CHARACTERS!
I don't care what you say - I just want to be left alone! TALK to FRED or something!
NARRATOR may as well!
MAIN CHARACTER TEXT was transferred to FRED!
Player: Fred
[Record: 1-4-0] Last battle: #11, Loss v. Joyce
Here we go again.
NARRATOR doesn't want DEMY to waste an entire BATTLE being LOST!
I can't help it if we have to go through VIRIDIAN FOREST to get to wherever we're going! We just walked into this place and WE
CAN'T FIND THE FOREST!
NARRATOR can't believe DEMY can be so incredibly SHORT-SIGHTED!
DEMY are in VIRIDIAN FOREST, and probably have been for 4 DAYS!
Ha ha, very funny. FORESTS have TREES and heaps of other PLANTS in them, and this place has nothing but a lot of DYING WEEDS! There aren't even any POKÉMON around here!
Well...last time NARRATOR checked, DEMY were lost in VIRIDIAN FOREST.
Oops! NARRATOR forgot about JANICE!
Now everything has to be changed! And NARRATOR isn't happy about it!
If the AXE-GIRL causes so many problems, why don't you just kill her off?
NARRATOR has to find her first!
Then find her! We're not going anywhere!
NARRATOR was about to, but since FRED has to be so RUDE about it, NARRATOR will just stay here!
...
VIRIDIAN FOREST was renamed VIRIDIAN WEED PATCH!
Setting:
Viridian Weed Patch - A. Dimension/TV Show
HEY!
Huh?
How can DEMY get lost in a WEED PATCH?!
We didn't have a MAP to get through the place! And we still don't!
NARRATOR rolled its proverbial EYES!
That was the lowest, most pathetic EXPLANATION for being lost in a WEED PATCH that NARRATOR has ever heard!
You can't say that! It's the only EXPLANATION you've ever heard!
That doesn't make it any less low and pathetic!
Guess I shouldn't argue that point.
TIM:
My only friends are my STARS, they're always there for me unless you count my BIRDS, which are also always there for
me...
WEEDLE hopes TIM doesn't decide to SING!
DRAGONDAY assures WEEDLE that if TIM even attempts to try, DRAGONDAY will do its best to kill him, even if it is supposed to be impossible!
Please get TIM to stop acting like a RAVING LUNATIC!
There are some things NARRATOR can never do!
FRED will just have to wait for TIM's STARS and BIRDS to disappear!
But that could take HOURS! And we'll be wasting the rest of this BATTLE!
FRED shouldn't worry about being BORED!
SWORD appeared!
SWORD is practically poking FRED in the NOSE!
AUGGH!!!
SAMURAI appeared!
SAMURAI slowly withdrew SWORD!
SAMURAI:
I am the SAMURAI of the FOREST of VIRIDIAN!
Hasn't SAMURAI opened his EYES and seen that the FOREST has been replaced with a WEED PATCH?
SAMURAI:
I care little for the opinions of a VOICE that SHOUTS POINTLESSLY. I shall never rephrase my introduction, and I continue to be SAMURAI of the FOREST of VIRIDIAN.
Not if NARRATOR can help it!
SAMURAI was renamed SAM!
SAM must introduce himself as SAM of the WEEDS or else!
SAM:
You dare threaten me, VOICE that SHOUTS POINTLESSLY?
YES!
Am I allowed to get a WORD in here or what?
FRED just did!
SAM:
Oh, I have a TRAINER named ALFRED in the presence of the FOREST of VIRIDIAN.
MY NAME ISN'T ALFRED, YOU @#$%& @#$%&!
SAM:
Are you then titled FREDERICK, fellow TRAINER?
MY! NAME! IS! FRED!
NARRATOR doubts the MESSAGE managed to get through SAM's HELMET!
SAM:
I refuse to associate in a friendly manner with anyone who wishes to OFFEND me. Therefore, the CHALLENGE I present to you, 'FRED', is not a friendly one.
TIM'S bad enough to deal with, and the last thing I need is for you to SAY STUFF that I can't UNDERSTAND!
DIE!!!
SAM:
This 'FRED' TRAINER appears to have a MURDEROUS OUTCOME fixed within his MIND. Am I right, VOICE that SHOUTS POINTLESSLY?
NARRATOR wants to know why SAM would want an OPINION from someone that he thinks SHOUTS POINTLESSLY!
SAM:
So you now experience the feeling of being OFFENDED. Very well, I shall simply ASSUME the most extreme POSSIBILITY. Go, PINSIR!
PINSIR has already fainted!
SAM:
Oh. May I ask HOW THE HECK MY PINSIR FAINTED?!
Partly because NARRATOR wanted to get SAM to TALK NORMALLY!
But mainly because SAM wasted all that TIME saying something no one wants to UNDERSTAND, instead of realising his PINSIR had come out of its POKÉ BALL and was being beaten up by BULBASAUR!
BULBASAUR RULES!
SAM:
I shall not continue to be HUMILIATED by a NOVICE TRAINER -
Did you call me a NOVICE?!
SAM:
Observe the LINE preceding yours, 'FRED', and you shall find the ANSWER.
AUGGH! Now you really will DIE!
SAM:
I believe you have made that INTENTION clear, but I shall be the one to emerge victorious! Go, METAPOD!
NARRATOR wants to know why, after so many YEARS, SAM's METAPOD still hasn't EVOLVED!
SAM:
I have chosen to keep myself on an equal LEVEL with any CHALLENGERS I confront, so that I may CHALLENGE
myself.
NARRATOR hasn't got any idea about what that meant!
SAM:
I shall repeat myself only once more, VOICE that SHOUTS POINTLESSLY and seems to have lost CONTROL over use of the SHIFT BUTTON.
NARRATOR wants to NARRATE something more eventful!
BULBASAUR fainted!
But the only MOVE that silly METAPOD knows is HARDEN!
That doesn't mean a thing in this DIMENSION!
Oh, yeah. BULBASAUR, return! WEEDLE, get out here and SMASH this METAPOD!
FRED withdrew BULBASAUR!
FRED sent out WEEDLE!
WEEDLE complains that it doesn't know an attack named SMASH!
Use your HEAD and just do something!
WEEDLE used POISON STING!
It's super effective!
METAPOD fainted!
SAM:
Even after my METAPOD's defence had risen to its highest possible level?! I shall AVENGE my POKÉMON and BATTLE you, 'FRED'!
SAM sent out SAM!
At last, I get to shut you up! Go, me!
FRED sent out FRED!
WEEDLE withdrew itself!
Me, use PUNCH!
FRED used PUNCH!
FRED punched himself!
OW! This had better not be what I think it is!
FRED is confused!
NOOO!
FRED hurt himself in his confusion!
SAM:
I see that 'FRED' is no longer able to control his ACTIONS - this BATTLE is mine to WIN! I wish to use my SWORD!
Does SAM want to know why FRED is punching himself?
SAM:
I must admit, the whole situation is very peculiar.
SAM is confused!
SAM:
Uh, I did not say anything that would indicate that I am in a confused state of mind. Am I right?
SAM hurt himself in his confusion!
SAM:
OW! I do not believe this should be happenin - OW!
SAM fainted!
Wow, that was quick - OW!
HEY, CAN I GO BACK TO - OW! - NORMAL NOW?
Anything to get DEMY out of VIRIDIAN WEED PATCH!
FRED'S confused no more!
I suppose we'd all better get out of this stupid-looking WEED PATCH. Is TIM over those STARS and BIRDS yet?
FRED can find out for himself!
TIM:
Excuse me, but YES I'M NORMAL!
DRAGONDAY isn't sure that TIM is being HONEST!
I'm not waiting anymore! We have to get out of this WEED PATCH now!
TIM:
Which way's the way out of here?
Um...I think we're still lost.
AUGGH! DEMY are making NARRATOR's BLOOD PRESSURE rise dangerously high!
Isn't there someone around that knows this place and how to get out?
TIM:
I've heard there's a SAMURAI or something living around here who would know.
Too late - he's punched himself and fainted.
TIM:
AUGGH!!! NARRATOR, you've really stuffed up this time!
NARRATOR did nothing wrong!
NARRATOR didn't like SAM, SAM hurt himself in his confusion - and DEMY shouldn't be getting lost in WEED PATCHES in the first place!
It's easy for you to say! You get to sit above everything in this DIMENSION and see exactly what's going on!
FRED just can't be bothered squashing a few DEAD WEEDS to find a PATH! It's not exactly DIFFICULT!
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
NARRATOR reckons it is!
Besides, these WEEDS are TALLER than we are!
That never stopped anyone before!
NARRATOR wants DEMY to be out of the WEED PATCH by the time NARRATOR comes back, OR ELSE!
But IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!
YES IT IS, AND NARRATOR ISN'T GOING TO ARGUE ABOUT IT ANYMORE!
NARRATOR stormed off!
Setting:
Mt Moon - A. Dimension/TV Show
Player: Jen
[Record: 1-2-0] Last battle: #11, Loss/Forfeit v. DEMY
JEN is pushing her BIKE along while HANDCUFFED!
Isn't the BIKE supposed to be responding to the BRIBE?
I wish...BRIBE dropped...BIKE turned to...chase...had to chase BIKE...BIKE lost BRIBE...wouldn't move...have been pushing for DAYS...THIS IS UNBEARABLE!
Is JEN telling NARRATOR that she hasn't even met with the POLICE UNIT in CERULEAN yet?
I'M PUSHING a BIKE with HANDCUFFS on through a WEED PATCH, a CITY and a MOUNTAIN, and you expect me to have MADE IT TO CERULEAN?!
NARRATOR thought that was the least it could expect!
Well, YOU'RE WRONG!
SEYMOUR appeared!
SEYMOUR said something in RHYME about JEN disturbing the CLEFAIRY and CLEFABLE!
I'm a POLICE OFFICER, so you can just KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, what's-your-name!
SEYMOUR said JEN is disturbing the MOONSTONE WORSHIP SESSION!
I DON'T CARE!
SEYMOUR wants to fight!
At least I'll have an excuse for being so late for the POLICE UNIT MEETING. But I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT!
Lots of ZUBAT appeared!
Why did I allow myself to be created for this @#$%& DIMENSION?
ZUBAT want to SUCK BLOOD, badly!
Get moving, you dumb BIKE!
BIKE wants its $50 NOTE!
We're gonna be killed by a bunch of ZUBAT if you don't get going! HURRY UP!
BIKE doesn't need to worry!
BIKE doesn't have any blood for ZUBAT!
What about me?
BIKE insists that it's every CHARACTER for themself!
Darn it.
ZUBAT spot SEYMOUR!
ZUBAT think SEYMOUR would make a good ENTRÉE!
SEYMOUR is SCREAMING something in RHYME!
ZUBAT are now sure of it!
ZUBAT attacked SEYMOUR!
Ew...
BIKE wonders if JEN should rescue SEYMOUR!
After he wanted to BATTLE? Besides, better him being attacked than me! Man, these ZUBAT are hungry.
PSYCHO SCREAMING echoes through MT MOON!
SEYMOUR is coping unusually well, considering he's dying of massive blood loss.
The PSYCHO SCREAMING is being done by someone else!
What? How many idiots hang around here?!
For one, J -
It was a METAPHORICAL QUESTION!
JEN has a lot of ENERGY for someone that's been pushing a BIKE while HANDCUFFED!
So? I feel better!
PSYCHO SCREAMING PERSON appeared!
PSYCHO SCREAMING PERSON was identified as JANICE!
I hope this isn't some long-lost relative of mine - WAIT! You're that TREE-MURDERER! Since when did you escape from PRISON?
JANICE:
I am not a MURDERER, I am a FREEDOM FIGHTER! And I was thrown into PRISON as a POLITICAL PRISONER! I'm back to continue the FIGHT against MURDEROUS, DICTATING TREES!
You shouldn't have been thrown in PRISON, that's for sure - YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN THROWN IN A NUTHOUSE!
JANICE:
It's people like you that hinder our CAUSE!
JANICE swung her AXE around to emphasise her CAUSE!
BIKE is panicking!
BIKE wants to leave!
But the girl shouldn't even have her AXE - Forget it. Let's get out of this MOUNTAIN before those ZUBAT finish off SEYMOUR and
that JANICE girl looks for something to HACK in to.
SEYMOUR died!
ZUBAT still want to SUCK BLOOD!
JANICE:
You can't fool me into thinking you are ZUBAT! You are LEAVES, working for the ENEMY! I'M GONNA DESTROY YOU
ALL!
That's it, I'M OUTTA HERE!
BIKE is already escaping!
We're supposed to be making our ESCAPE together! Help me out - AUGGH!
JEN has obviously found a BOTTOMLESS PIT in MT MOON!
Congratulations!
AUGGH...
NARRATOR will get back to JEN when she reaches the GROUND!
Setting:
Viridian Weed Patch
Player: Fred
[Record: 2-4-0] Last battle: earlier, Win v. Sam
NARRATOR sees RUSTLING in the WEEDS!
DEMY appeared!
NARRATOR used CD PLAYER!
CD PLAYER played RECORDING OF APPLAUSE!
You don't have to be that SARCASTIC! We did very well to get out of the WEED PATCH!
NARRATOR wants to know what DEMY did that FRED thinks was so great!
I'll tell you once you switch off that REALLY ANNOYING CD PLAYER!
NARRATOR used SWITCH OFF!
NARRATOR switched CD PLAYER off!
NARRATOR was hit with recoil!
NARRATOR switched itself off as a result!
This is getting to be INSANE!
NARRATOR is switched off!
I just want to say that we did do very well!
NARRATOR is switched off!
*sigh* I may as well talk to whoever wants to listen. I cleverly thought of snatching SAM's POKÉMON, reviving
them -
TIM:
With my stuff!
You're not supposed to be allowed to TALK!
TIM:
Well, I can!
Anyway, we revived PINSIR and METAPOD, and they were extremely helpful in showing us a way to get through the WEEDS
and out here, onto the PATH.
TIM:
PINSIR wants to be my POKÉMON! YAY!
WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!
TIM:
I only said it 14 TIMES before!
You'd better be grateful that we're part of the DEMY alliance.
TIM is SULKING!
So you're working again, NARRATOR?
NARRATOR thought that was pretty OBVIOUS!
Anyway, METAPOD wants to be my POKÉMON. I may as well have it, even if it can't do anything but HARDEN.
METAPOD is offended by FRED's COMMENT!
METAPOD thinks HARDEN is a very GOOD MOVE!
My COMMENT was made in the nicest possible way!
METAPOD thinks that's a JOKE!
METAPOD refuses to be FRED's POKÉMON unless he says SORRY!
NARRATOR could think of a GREAT LINE to put in here, but it would be an IN-JOKE!
Hey, you drowned out my APOLOGY!
Who cares? FRED can say SORRY again!
(:-&
Sorry, METAPOD.
METAPOD will accept that!
Okay, everything's sorted itself out. Next stop...what's the next place called again?
DEMY can find out when they get there!
NARRATOR can see RED!
Next stop's when we're SAFE! I'm RUNNING!
TIM:
You can't leave us behind!
DEMY escaped down ORDINARY DIRT ROAD!
Setting:
Bottomless Pit - A. Dimension
Player: Jen
[Record: 1-2-0] Last seen: earlier, falling down Bottomless Pit
Has JEN reached the GROUND yet?
AUGGH...
NARRATOR can't waste any more TIME in this battle!
NARRATOR will just have to check on JEN some other time!
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