Azure Version: Battles 13 and 14

Backtrack: DEMY are heading towards Pewter City, Jen is falling down a bottomless pit, and Rustepi continues to cast a shadow over Azure Version...and the Narrator decides to worry about a small noise?

Battle #13: Small Noise, Big Problem January 25, 2001
Setting: Azure Version HQ
Player: Webmistress

Clickclickclick...
Huh? NARRATOR heard something!
Clickclickclick...
NARRATOR finds the SOUND extremely IRRITATING!
Clickclickclick...
Eek! The SOUND knows when NARRATOR is TYPING!
NARRATOR is getting really NERVOUS!
Can't you think of something VISITORS will actually find even slightly amusing?
NARRATOR was wondering when WEBMISTRESS was going to turn up!
So you decide to be SCARED of the KEYBOARD?!
'The SOUND' isn't referring to the 'clickclickclick' of the KEYBOARD!
It's far more SINISTER!
I didn't hear anything, so just stop obsessing over non-existent SOUNDS and do some real WORK, will you?
NO!
NARRATOR definitely heard a SOUND, and isn't doing anything until WEBMISTRESS believes that!
I'm not even going to bother pretending to believe you, so just do your WORK like a good NARRATOR -
NARRATOR will prove the SOUND exists if it takes the rest of the BATTLE to do it!
*sigh* I can just see VISITORS clicking on the 'BACK' BUTTON at this very SECOND.
Hey! Get back to the KEYBOARD!
...
Why are you so PARANOID, anyway?
...
You're a NARRATOR! You're not supposed to WORRY about weird THINGS that make inaudible SOUNDS!
NARRATOR heard it again!
Um, when I said 'Get back to the KEYBOARD', I didn't mean that you had to JUMP on top of it!
NARRATOR didn't JUMP on the KEYBOARD! If NARRATOR had, it would've looked like
tqahgoiyutyujtmhnsvhvqe2ur384653221ebkjge!
Thanks for almost breaking the KEYBOARD.
NARRATOR doesn't think losing TWO KEYS are a major LOSS!
NARRATOR heard the SOND again!
STOP TALKING ABOUT THE STUPID SOUND!
SOND was identified as SCTTLING!
COCKROACH appeared!
AGGH!
It's just a COCKROACH! Pick it up and throw it into the HQ PORTAL or something!
NARRATOR doesn't feel like messing with SCTTLING THINGS today! WEBMISTRESS can do the picking p and throwing if she likes!
COCKROACH sed FLY!
COCKROACH flew across the room!
And landed on KEYBOARD!
rere8,m5cx-0650o4rqre29ot4f96htr
COCKROACH sed FLY!
COCKROACH flew and landed on WALL!
Uh...where's AUTHOR gone?
Wasn't ATHOR BANISHED indefinitely from AZRE VERSION HQ to fix p her WRITING SKILLS?
I should've known that I'd regret doing that...Oh well, I may as well find some INSECT SPRAY.
COCKROACH is EYEING NARRATOR!
NARRATOR hates being EYED!
C'mon NARRATOR, this COCKROACH is hardly a THREAT unless it's a VERSION CHARACTER. BTW, do we have any INSECT SPRAY around here?
NARRATOR considers ANYTHING that can pass throgh a PORTAL into HQ withot ATHORISATION as a THREAT!
And there's no INSECT SPRAY since NARRATOR never thoght it'd be needed!
COCKROACH sed SCTTLE!
COCKROACH scttled nder NARRATOR's DESK!
AGGH! @$%& COCKROACH!
NARRATOR sed ZAP!
The move failed!
Isn't WEBMISTRESS going to do something?!
Considering this HQ is what connects the WORLD BEYOND THE INTERNET and AZURE VERSION, we're only allowed BORDERLINE POWERS...
COCKROACH sed SCTTLE!
COCKROACH scttled over WEBMISTRESS' SHOES!
I've had enough of this FLYING and SCUTTLING! Me, use STOMP!
WEBMISTRESS sed STOMP!
The attack missed!
I guess it'd help if I knew the exact STATS of this COCKROACH.
MS POKÉDEX was activated!
I don't like the look of that MS P- Couldn't you find a BETTER POKÉDEX?!
No other POKÉDEX was COMPATIBLE!
(:-&
MS POKÉDEX: COCKY - A GIANT COCKROACH-TYPE POKÉMON. SAID TO BE -
TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!
VOLME is STCK on CRRENT LEVEL! NARRATOR is POWERLESS against the MS POKÉDEX!
MS POKÉDEX: - SALLY FOND AT LEVEL 95, BY WHICH TIME THEY CAN WITHSTAND THE IMMENSE POWER OF PORTALS. STATS: HEIGHT...A LOT. WEIGHT...EVEN MORE. HP...IF IT WAS HIGHER, THIS FANTASTIC PIECE OF SOFTWARE WOLD CRASH JST BY MENTIONING IT. ATTACK...592. DEFENSE...999. SPECIAL...627. SPEED...999+999+999+999 -
SMASH IT!
WHAT, THE MS POKÉDEX OR COCKY?
PREFERABLY BOTH!
NARRATOR sed SMASH!
NARRATOR smashed MS POKÉDEX!
MS POKÉDEX fainted!
AT LAST, I CAN HEAR MYSELF AGAIN!
WEBMISTRESS doesn't have to YELL anymore!
WHAT? Oops.
COCKY sed BZZ!
COCKY bzzed angrily!
NARRATOR's ACCRACY fell...hit the FLOOR and kept going!
Why you'd NARRATE your own and your allies' disadvantages, I'll never know.
NARRATOR can't help the PC MALFNCTION broght on by SMASHING THE MS POKÉDEX!
NARRATOR's ACCRACY disappeared into HQ PORTAL!
Just remind me this FLOOR needs REPAIRING later...after I push this TROUBLESOME, @#$%& COCKY into it!
COCKY wants to fight!
COCKY sent ot COCKY!
Go, me!
WEBMISTRESS sent ot WEBMISTRESS!
COCKY sed FLY!
COCKY flew in...some DIRECTION which NARRATOR isn't qite sre of!
Come to think of it, I'd rather not have to deal with this stupid COCKY directly. Don't you have a SPRAY of some sort in your huge COLLECTION of ITEMS?
COCKY sed FLY!
COCKY flew back...over WEBMISTRESS' HEAD!
OW! I can't see how something so BIG can FLY at all, let alone that fast!
WEBMISTRESS is confsed!
STOP! You're supposed to be on MY SIDE!
PC MALFNCTION is getting worse!
NARRATOR sed PLG PLL!
NARRATOR plled PC PLG ot of the POWER SORCE!
WEBMISTRESS hrt herself in her confsion anyway!
OWWW!!!
NARRATOR sed THROW!
NARRATOR threw RANDOM ITEM at WEBMISTRESS!
WEBMISTRESS' confsed no more!
NARRATOR never knew EVOLTION SPRAY cold do that!
Well, yeah, it kind-of hit me in the HEAD...I'm withdrawing myself and sending out this EVOLUTION SPRAY!
WEBMISTRESS, retrn!
Get 'im, EVOLTION SPRAY!
COCKY sed CRASH LANDING!
COCKY crashed the LANDING!
Another HOLE in the FLOOR? I hope this HQ can take the STRAIN...Hey NARRATOR, are you sure this EVOLUTION SPRAY will actually help us out, rather than getting COCKY to destroy us both?
NARRATOR is only hoping the EVOLTION SPRAY is yet another example of FALSE ADVERTISING, and that COCKY can't EVOLVE!
It wold also help if COCKY has a WEAKNESS against EVOLTION SPRAY!
WEBMISTRESS' CONFIDENCE greatly fell...bonced onto the FLOOR and into COCKY!
COCKY's CONFIDENCE greatly rose!
Oh, @#$%&.

January 27, 2001

NARRATOR wants to know what the heck is taking EVOLTION SPRAY so long to ATTACK!
THE STUPID COCKROACH'S TOO FAST!
NARRATOR can't even see COCKY anymore - jst a black BLR crising arond HQ!
Exactly. And what's worse, it's getting to the POINT where my SHOES are completely covered in COCKY FOOTPRINTS.
It cold become a new FASHION TREND!
If you can't figure out a way to slow COCKY down, at least SHUT UP!
NARRATOR jst had an IDEA!
COCKY's SPEED greatly fell!
That's it?
What?
No crashing through the FLOOR or bouncing off it?
NARRATOR can only do so mch on a MALFNCTIONING PC!
COCKY's SPEED greatly rose again!
@#$%& @#$%& PC!!!
I'm not waiting for my turn anymore! EVOLUTION SPRAY, use your PURSUIT attack!
EVOLTION SPRAY doesn't know that ATTACK!
SO?
NARRATOR thinks EVOLTION SPRAY only knows SPRAY!
COCKY sed SLAM!
Its attack missed!
YAY! EVOLUTION SPRAY, use SPRAY!
EVOLTION SPRAY sed SPRAY!
EVOLTION SPRAY sprayed the FLOOR!
Hh? The FLOOR is evolving!
I suppose I should've held the EVOLUTION SPRAY up when it attacked.
Stop TALKING and press the 'B' BTTON!!!
I can't press it! You'll just have to do it yourself!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB
Too late!
WEBMISTRESS spent too mch time TALKING!
The FLOOR de-evolved into WOODEN PLANKS!
@#$%& FALSE ADVERTISING!
WOODEN PLANKS sed FLOAT!
WOODEN PLANKS are floating away from HQ!
WOODEN PLANKS disappeared into HQ PORTAL!
Uh-oh.
VARIOS PIECES OF FRNITRE disappeared into HQ PORTAL!
Me, HOLD onto the CURTAIN!
WEBMISTRESS held onto the CRTAIN!
NARRATOR, can you hold onto the EVOLUTION SPRAY?
NARRATOR is already holding onto the PC, as well as OTHER CRTAINS!
Well, I'm not letting go of this CURTAIN!
EVOLTION SPRAY is abot to disappear into the HQ PORTAL!
EVOLTION SPRAY started to CRY!
EVOLTION SPRAY feels nloved!
I DON'T CARE! I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN RESCUE A BOTTLE OF EVOLUTION SPRAY!
EVOLTION SPRAY wants to know what better THINGS WEBMISTRESS has to do!
Um...FINE! Just stop crying and stay still!
EVOLTION SPRAY stopped floating!
EVOLTION SPRAY dropped into HQ PORTAL like a ROCK!
It's a good thing I didn't let go of the CURTAIN.
WEBMISTRESS let go of the CRTAIN!
Some day, remind me to ask you why you're holding onto the PC.
NARRATOR wold like to help WEBMISTRESS ot, bt that wold mean having to let go of the OTHER CRTAINS!
You're so thoughtful...

Setting: Azure Version HQ Portal

I guess I'm stuck here by myself...It's no big deal, actually. I have to travel through this place several times every WEEK, since this place connects three different DIMENSIONS. What annoys me is that I only get LIMITED POWERS - and that I have to share this PORTAL with STUFF from HQ.
WEBMISTRESS' SITUATION could always be WORSE!
Huh? You can't be the NARRATOR!
DEFAULT NARRATOR is taking charge of NARRATING!
Stop showing off. You're supposed to be D NARRATOR.
D NARRATOR is miffed!
Well, I happen to be the WEBMISTRESS, so I DON'T GIVE A STUFF IF YOU'RE MIFFED!
Humph.
COCKY appeared!
Again?!
COCKY wants to annoy WEBMISTRESS until she gets lost in the HQ PORTAL and is stuck forever!
What've you got against me?!
WEBMISTRESS has been trying to KILL COCKY!
Well, I haven't managed to yet, so that shouldn't be bugging you!
COCKY doesn't appreciate the PUN!
Right now, I don't care what you think.
COCKY wants to fight!
This is really getting REPETITIVE...
COCKY sent out COCKY!
I'M @#$%& TIRED OF THIS BATTLE! GO, EVOLUTION SPRAY!
COCKY used SCUTTLE!
No effect!
EVOLUTION SPRAY, use - Oops, I forgot I lost you somewhere.
EVOLUTION SPRAY doesn't want to come out from under a CHAIR!
EVOLUTION SPRAY's FEELINGS were deeply hurt when WEBMISTRESS didn't RESCUE it!
You shouldn't even have FEELINGS! Now GET HERE AND SPRAY THAT COCKY!
EVOLUTION SPRAY got HERE!
EVOLUTION SPRAY gave HERE to WEBMISTRESS!
Um...thanks. GO AND SPRAY THAT @#$%& COCKY!
COCKY used FLY!
COCKY flew...and crashed into a WOODEN PLANK!
EVOLUTION SPRAY used SPRAY!
EVOLUTION SPRAY used SUPER POWERFUL RAY on COCKY!
Cool...
COCKY flinched!
COCKY lost 1 HP!
NOOO!!!
I've been through a NIGHTMARE over the past few DAYS and this is all that comes out of it?!
EVOLUTION SPRAY guesses so!
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
WEBMISTRESS grabbed EVOLUTION SPRAY!
Me, use WHACK!
WEBMISTRESS used WHACK!
WEBMISTRESS whacked COCKY mercilessly with EVOLUTION SPRAY!
WHACK!
COCKY flinched!
WEBMISTRESS' attack continues!
WHACK!!
COCKY flinched!
WEBMISTRESS' attack continues!
WHACK!!!
COCKY flinched!
WEBMISTRESS' attack continues!
WHACK!!!!
COCKY flinched!
WEBMISTRESS' attack continues!
WHACK!!!!!
COCKY fainted!
WEBMISTRESS' attack continues!
WHACK!!!!!!
Uh, WEBMISTRESS can stop attacking now.
WHACK!!!!!!!
Does WEBMISTRESS know that she's won?
WHACK!!!!!!!!
Is WEBMISTRESS even paying attention?
WHACK!!!!!!!!!
COCKY died!
WEBMISTRESS can show a little MERCY now!
WHACK!!!!!!!!!!
COCKY is now just a squashed BLOB of DEAD INSECT!
EVOLUTION SPRAY begs for MERCY!
For COCKY? Forget it!
Not for COCKY!
For EVOLUTION SPRAY!
Oh, sorry.
But I had every RIGHT to get carried away!
EVOLUTION SPRAY doesn't think that RIGHT extends to it having to have BITS of COCKY stuck on it!
Forget it. I just want to get back to HQ and let this BATTLE FIZZLE out like it should've ages ago.
BATTLE used FIZZLE!
BATTLE fizzled...and fizzled...and fizzled...
Will you just END THE BATTLE?
D NARRATOR doesn't feel like doing that yet!
BATTLE continues to fizzle...
Hey, D NARRATOR, look over there!
What? Why? Where?
TheBATTLEfizzledout!

Backtrack: Trying to ignore the troubles with the floor-less and furniture-less HQ: DEMY are finally in Pewter City, ready to face the first Gym Leader. Jen's yet to reach the bottom of the bottomless pit. It's about time things start happening in this dimension!

Battle #14: Rocks and Rustepi February 3, 2001
Setting: Pewter City - A. Dimension/TV Show
Player: Fred [Record: 2-4-0] Last seen: #12, running from Narrator

NARRATOR is - um, no.
UPDATE is - don't think so.
Hey look - don't like that, either.
How is NARRATOR supposed to start THIS WEEK's BATTLE?!
The way you're going, you may as well not narrate one at all.
FRED was struck by a FALLING BOULDER!
OWWWWW!
NARRATOR isn't in the mood to listen to CHARACTERS' COMMENTS!
I know that now...
FALLING BOULDER was renamed ROLLING BOULDER!
Well, there it goes...
Straight into the nearest ROCK-SELLING STALL!
ROCK-SELLING STALL was flattened!
Good riddance! What's the point of selling @#$%& ROCKS around here anyway?
ROCKS were scattered everywhere!
ROCKS want SHELTER from other falling ROCKS!
Go annoy someone who cares!
ROCKS insist that FRED cares!
I DO NOT!
ROCKS plead for SHELTER!
FORGET IT!
ROCKS ask if FRED hates them!
YES!
ROCKS are deeply hurt!
GOOD!
ROCKS want to fight!
Not so good.
ROCKS sent out ROCKS!
This is the biggest waste of time ever, but - BULBASAUR, get out here and slice these ROCKS into GRAVEL!
Go, BULBASAUR!
BULBASAUR used TACKLE!
It's not very effective.
C'mon, use RAZOR LEAF!
BULBASAUR wants to know what RAZOR LEAF is!
You mean you haven't learnt it?!
BULBASAUR doesn't have the slightest clue about what FRED is talking about!
NARRATOR recommends FRED allows DRAGONDAY to handle the ROCKS!
I can handle a few small ROCKS!
ROCKS used ROCK SHOWER!
BULBASAUR was showered with ROCKS!
ROCKS proclaim BULBASAUR to be their RULER and PROTECTOR!
Humph - a RULER and PROTECTOR that only knows TACKLE, GROWL and LEECH SEED? These ROCKS must be pretty desperate.
BULBASAUR doesn't like FRED's ATTITUDE!
I'm your TRAINER! You're my POKÉMON! I CAN HAVE WHATEVER ATTITUDE I WANT!
BULBASAUR is angry!
BULBASAUR ordered ROCKS to attack FRED's SHOES!
I'm so scared. C'MON, DO YOUR WORST!
ROCKS rolled under FRED's SHOES!
HA HA HA H - HEEELLLPPP!!!
FRED is skating around the ROCK-SELLING STALL - or what's left of it!
SLOWDOWNSLOWDOWNSLOWDOW -
CRASH!
TIM: What? Did someone just scream out 'CRASH'?
DRAGONDAY tried to slap itself on its FOREHEAD!
TIM: Y'know, it'd be more helpful if you stopped scratching your SHOULDER and gave me an ANSWER.
WEEDLE would like some ATTENTION now!
DRAGONDAY can't believe TIM's IGNORANCE!
TIM: What do you mean by that?
DRAGONDAY slapped - uh, scratched its SHOULDER again!
TIM: I give up. Obviously nobody around here wants me to know what's going on. *sniff*
Stop blabbering like a senseless idiot and HELP ME OUT OF HERE!
TIM: Oh, I was wondering where FRED had disappeared to all of a sudden. That's funny, BULBASAUR'S still right here...DRAGONDAY, can you stop scratching your SHOULDER and help out?!
DRAGONDAY sighed!
ROCKS and what's left of the ROCK-SELLING STALL were blown across the CITY!
Thanks - but next time, try not to knock me into a STONE WALL!
TIM: I s'pose we'd better get out of here now, before some ROCK SELLER comes along and tells us off.
I agree - let's get going! And yes, BULBASAUR, you have to come!
BULBASAUR prefers to be RULER and PROTECTOR of ROCKS! And will fight if necessary to keep that POWER!
BULBASAUR ordered ROCKS to prepare for BATTLE!
No response!
Not so high and mighty without your subjects, are you? If you cooperate now, I'll pretend none of this ever happened.
BULBASAUR is thinking about it!
BULBASAUR wants to cooperate!
Okay! Return, BULBASAUR!
FRED withdrew BULBASAUR!
ROCK SELLER appeared!
ROCK SELLER was renamed FLINT!
FLINT demands to know what happened here!
Wait a sec, aren't you the DAD of that BROCK guy?
FLINT demands to know what happened here!
Aren't you the LOSER who dumped his FAMILY and failed to be a POKÉMON MASTER, so you disguised yourself as a ROCK SELLER for years until you met a LOSER like yourself named ASH?
FLINT demands to know what happened here!
Who's replaced BROCK as GYM LEADER around here?
FLINT demands to know what happened here!
What've you got, a one-track MIND?
FLINT demands to know what happened here!
How was I supposed to ANSWER? Oh yeah... I dunno, what has happened here?
FLINT accuses FRED of wrecking his ROCK-SELLING STALL!
I DID NOT! This BOULDER just fell out of the SKY and SQUASHED it, then all your 'precious' ROCKS got scared - Just what do you need to sell ROCKS for?
FLINT likes squeezing any amount of MONEY possible from PASSERS-BY!
Great to know but we'd better get going you see we need to find the local GYM -
FLINT demands FRED hand over all his MONEY!
WHY SHOULD I?
FLINT is owed FINANCIAL COMPENSATION for the loss of his ROCK-SELLING STALL!
It'd better be worth ¥3, because that's all I've got.
FLINT calls FRED a LIAR with his PANTS on FIRE and sitting on a TELEPHONE WIRE!
Is that the sort of thing you want to teach to your KIDS?
FLINT says his KIDS were the ones that taught him!
FLINT still thinks FRED is a ROTTEN, STINKING LIAR!
Why should I care what you think?
Because FLINT is the PEWTER GYM LEADER and isn't going to give FRED a BOULDERBADGE unless FRED pays up!
How'd a self-confessed LOSER become a GYM LEADER? Then again, PEWTER GYM isn't exactly the hardest one to get past. Hmm...
FLINT heard that!
Big deal. I - uh, FRED of NOWHERE IN PARTICULAR, challenge you to a BATTLE!
FLINT wants to know what kind of stupid PERSON comes from NOWHERE IN PARTICULAR!
How dare you insult the NAME of where I come from? I'M GONNA GET YOUR BADGE IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!
TIM: Actually, I don't think NOWHERE IN PARTICULAR is the NAME of a PLACE.
Oops. But I'm still gonna get the BOULDERBADGE! Go, BULBASAUR!
FLINT didn't say that he wants to fight yet!
But I'm the CHALLENGER!
FLINT needs to look for his LUCKY ROCK first!
FORGET THE LUCKY ROCK!
But the LUCKY ROCK is with his POKÉMON!
Are you just going to keep putting off this BATTLE until I give up the idea of a POKÉMON BATTLE and beat you up for the BADGE anyway?
FLINT wants to think about it!
NARRATOR can't understand how FRED can be so enthusiastic when he didn't want to be here in the first place!
I've endured too much to stop now! Besides, I want a BADGE so I can show it off to stupid TRAINERS.
FLINT wants to fight!
FLINT sent out GEODUDE!
Okay BULBASAUR, go for it!
BULBASAUR went for GEODUDE!
BULBASAUR asked GEODUDE to DANCE!
AUGGH! What sort of POKÉMON did I have to get stuck with?!
'WHAT KIND OF POKÉMON ARE YOU' started playing in the BACKGROUND!
BULBASAUR and GEODUDE started DANCING!
I HATE THIS SONG! BULBASAUR, use LEECH SEED!
BULBASAUR thinks DANCING is more FUN than LISTENING to a GRUMPY TRAINER!
Do you want to land up as BOILED VEGIE SOUP or what?!
BULBASAUR used LEECH SEED!
GEODUDE was seeded!
Finally, something's going my way!
LEECH SEED began to grow into a LEECH!
LEECH found no plant or animal matter to feed on!
LEECH shrivelled up and fainted!
FLINT is ROTFL!
What FLOOR?
FLINT is ROTGL!
FLINT got covered in GRAVEL!
HA HA HA HA HA! IDIOT!
FLINT is angry about having to do more LAUNDRY!
FLINT's ANGER greatly rose...disappeared into the SKY and - OW!
NARRATOR hates being poked!
NARRATOR made BULBASAUR use EARTHQUAKE!
Wow. O_O
It's super effective!
GEODUDE fainted!
I can't figure out how a floating ROCK could've been affected by that.
Is FRED disputing NARRATOR's NARRATION?!
Of course not!
Good! Use next Pokémon?
I'll just stick with BULBASAUR.
FLINT withdrew GEODUDE - who's just been renamed GEODUD!
FLINT sent out ONIX!
BULBASAUR, use your GROWL attack! Or whatever it is...
BULBASAUR used GROWL!
ONIX growled back!
BULBASAUR is getting nervous!
C'mon, you have a TYPE ADVANTAGE! Try a TACKLE!
BULBASAUR used TACKLE!
It's not even close to effective.
BULBASAUR suffered a concussion!
TIM: Did you forget about NORMAL ATTACKS being ineffective?
Since when are you MR KNOW-IT-ALL?
TIM: At least I knew that much!
...
ONIX used WRAP!
BULBASAUR was WRAPPED!
It's going to be a long day, isn't it?
BULBASAUR can't move!
ONIX's attack continues!
BULBASAUR can't move!
ONIX's attack continues!
ONIX got bored and dropped BULBASAUR!
BULBASAUR, try your LEECH SEED!
BULBASAUR has a concussion!
BULBASAUR hurt itself in its concussive state!
AUGGH!
ONIX used ROCK THROW!
ONIX realised there are no ROCKS around to throw!
The move failed!
Here's your chance! You'll have to try LEECH SEED again!
BULBASAUR has a concussion!
BULBASAUR used LEECH SEED!
BULBASAUR was seeded!
Exactly how did that happen?
In the same way GEODUD was affected by EARTHQUAKE!
NARRATOR doesn't believe in DOUBLE STANDARDS - today, at least.
Well, that doesn't help me out, does it?
LEECH SEED grew into a LEECH!
LEECH found PLANT MATTER to feed on!
LEECH fed on BULBASAUR!
It's not very effective.
LEECH is angry!
Huh? LEECH is evolving!
GET OFF MY POKÉMON!
FRED dragged evolving LEECH off BULBASAUR!
*pant, puff*...Just in time.
LEECH evolved into VENOMLEECH!
Um, would this VENOMLEECH be related in any way to a VENOMOTH?
Only in the fact that they're both VENOMOUS!
VENOMLEECH senses animal matter!
VENOMLEECH latched onto FRED's HAND!
OWWWWW!!!
ONIX can't see the point in waiting!
ONIX knocked BULBASAUR over!
BULBASAUR fainted!
Use next Pokémon?
Wha'? Huh?
FRED is poisoned and suffering massive BLOOD LOSS!
Poison 'n' massive blood loss? Poor guy...
TIM: If FRED faints, can I have a try at the BOULDERBADGE?
That's if FRED doesn't DIE first!
TIM: Shouldn't you help him out?
NARRATOR is still mad at FRED for what he said at the beginning of THIS WEEK's BATTLE!
But NARRATOR is also mad at FLINT for being poked!
NARRATOR is stuck in a DILEMMA!
TIM: How long's this going to last for?
What's TIM so impatient for?
NARRATOR used SALT on VENOMLEECH!
VENOMLEECH fell off, shrivelled up and fainted!
NARRATOR used FULL RESTORE on FRED!
FRED is back to normal!
FLINT's ANGER greatly rose!
FLINT's BLOOD PRESSURE greatly rose!
FLINT needs to see a DOCTOR, badly!
Not until I get the BADGE! BULBASAUR, use - BULBASAUR?
Is FRED ever going to use next Pokémon?
What's with all this impatience? Return, BULBASAUR! WEEDLE, get this overgrown pile of ROCKS!
FRED withdrew BULBASAUR!
You don't stand a chance! Go, WEEDLE!
What do you mean, WEEDLE doesn't stand a chance?!
NARRATOR doesn't mind WEEDLE, but when WEEDLE doesn't stand a chance, NARRATOR has a duty to point that out!
WEEDLE, just ignore that and use STRING SHOT!
WEEDLE used STRING SHOT!
STRING was shot!
STRING fainted!
Your aim's good, but that wasn't what I meant!
ONIX used WRAP!
WEEDLE slipped out of the attack!
C'mon WEEDLE, you can beat a low-level ONIX! Use your FURY ATTACK!
WEEDLE used FURY ATTACK!
WEEDLE attacked like a psycho!
It's not very effective.
But ONIX still fainted!
YAY!!! MY FIRST BADGE!
FLINT: All right, all right, you win! Just take the BOULDERBADGE and let me get to the DOCTOR! Stress from failure, from raising KIDS, from BATTLES...I need medical and professional help...
FRED received BOULDERBADGE!
TIM: What about me and DRAGONDAY? What're we supposed to do?
Uh-oh! Um...hmm...Do TIM and DRAGONDAY mind being TRAVELLING PARTNERS?
TIM: You mean like MISTY and BROCK?
Exactly!
TIM: NOOOOO!!! I DON'T WANNA BE A BACKGROUND CHARACTER WITH NO LIFE!
DRAGONDAY echoed TIM!
NARRATOR can't even figure out what ANYONE needs with BADGES! If all actually goes to PLAN, BADGES will be pointl -
What do you mean? Spill the beans!
TIM: Stop being so secretive!
BEANS were spilt!
BEANS went everywhere!
BEANS and ROCKS are falling and fighting throughout PEWTER CITY!
I reckon now's the time to get out of here!
FLINT'S already been gone for several MINUTES!
LET'S GET GOING!
DEMY fled!

Setting: Bottom of Bottomless Pit - A. Dimension
Player: Jen [Record: 1-2-0] Last seen: #12, still falling down Bottomless Pit

NARRATOR is sick of waiting for JEN to finish falling!
NARRATOR increased GRAVITY for 5 SECONDS!
AUGGH!!!
JEN crashed into the GROUND!
Ow!
JEN has managed to scream non-stop the whole time she was falling, and when she finally reaches the BOTTOM she only makes a small 'ow' SOUND?
Considering you made me fall down here, you shouldn't be asking QUESTIONS like that. Just tell me where I've gone, so I can explain things to the other OFFICERS, if and when I see them again. And it would be nice if you'd help me with these @#$%& HANDCUFFS.
NARRATOR is sick of the HANDCUFFS JOKE anyway!
The HANDCUFFS were unlocked!
Ahhh...if it wasn't for my swollen WRISTS, I'd be grateful.
Isn't JEN even a little grateful?
After everything you've put me through? I can't be grateful!
...
And I'm actually very reasonable!
NARRATOR is sulking!
HANDCUFFS want to fight -
Okay, okay, okay! I'M GRATEFUL, NARRATOR PERSON OR WHATEVER!
Thank you!
NARRATOR knocked out HANDCUFFS!
NARRATOR thinks JEN might like to know that she's officially back in AZURE VERSION!

Setting: Azure Version

Which explains the lack of anything around here.
Not quite!
snuffle...crunch...chomp...slurp...
It sounds like TROUBLE around somewhere. I may as well have a look.
JEN is walking!
Because my BIKE isn't here!
So JEN continues to walk! What's the PROBLEM?
crunch...slurp...chomp chomp...
Can I smell that annoying RUST on my BIKE again? I know I'm supposed to get it fixed up, but on a small SALARY like mine...*sigh*
CRUNCH
SOMETHING: RUSTI RUSTI! BRIIE!
Wait, since when does my BIKE sound like that? I'd better be careful...
SOMETHING appeared!
SOMETHING was identified as RUSTEPI!
What d'ya know, a new POKÉMON! But what's with the MESS?
DON'T ASK YOURSELF QUESTIONS! RUN!
It's just a stupid-looking EGG THING! Stop trying to make me PANIC over NOTHING!
But RUSTEPI is the DOOMPUFF SPIN-OFF of AZURE VERSION!
Yeah, right. It's stupid-looking and has fangs and is covered in BLOOD and is surrounded by broken BONES and - Did I say that?
crunch - cough...splutter...COUGH
RUSTEPI coughed up a blood-covered, mauled OBJECT!
What in the - @#$%&!
NARRATOR admittedly doesn't want to look but...
THAT'S #3's POLICE BADGE! At least the others can stop looking for her - Does this mean...
RUSTEPI happens to have a UNBELIEVABLE APPETITE! RUN FOR IT!
This is one of the times where you've got the RIGHT IDEA. Should I tiptoe away or run like a complete NUT?
Since RUSTEPI has probably already spotted JEN, running like a complete NUT is the one and only OPTION!
RUSTEPI: BRIIE? RUSTI!
RUSTEPI used RUSTHYPNOSIS!
C'mon, help me out here...
Er, NARRATOR would really like to, but it can't. NARRATOR isn't even sure what RUSTHYPNOSIS does.
NARRATOR is going to be sick -
CRUNCH
Is it safe to look again or -
RUSTEPI: RUSTI! BRIIIIIE!
*gulp* WHERE'S GARY AND BROCK WHEN THEY'RE NEEDED?!
RUSTEPI is...um...NARRATOR CAN'T TAKE IT! NARRATOR WANTS OUT!
...
RUSTEPI: Briie? Rusti? Rusti!
crunch...chomp...slurp...

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