AWARD WINNER!
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Episode 3:
Deception, It's the Softer Side of Violence!
"Jane
should simply be truthful with Nancy," Mrs. G went on firmly.
"Explain the situation herself instead of trusting proxies like Rupert.
Negotiate a modus vivendi acceptable to both. That's what a smart
woman would do."
"Mom, if Jane had been a smart woman, she would not be in the pickle
that she's in," Chrissy said. "Jane is not a smart woman. Jane
lacks survival skills."
"Honesty would simply get her into more trouble," Belle added. "She's
terrified already that they'll think she's unkind and ungenerous. She's
terrified that Rupert will blame her if Nancy gets angry."
"Nancy is very irritable," Chrissy explained. "She always hangs up the
telephone on Rupert. Everybody is afraid of Nancy's temper."
"Poor Jane," Belle continued. "There she is — only 5 feet 2 inches
and 100 pounds. And of course Rupert is tall. And her mother-in-law and
sisters-in-law — well, let me just say, charitably, that they're
our size."
"The three of us average 5 feet 10, and 170 pounds," Chrissy put in
helpfully.
Belle looked at Mrs. G. "I would say we average 180 pounds."
"Unkind remarks don't become you, sweetheart."
"Well, anyway, poor Jane is clearly the underdog, and I..." Belle
stopped to look out the window at the hill. Two squirrels were chasing
each other up and down the big oak.
"I'm inclined to use deception," she said.
"You're always inclined to use deception!" Mrs. G exclaimed.
"Only in the service of a good cause!"
"All this sneakiness! I want it done, but I don't want anyone to know
that it's me who wants it done!" Mrs. G squealed in a wicked imitation
of Jane.
"Well, Jane is a kind person. She doesn't want to hurt anyone's
feelings. She doesn't want them to think she's trying to get her
mother-in-law out so that she can get some time off — alone! —
before her own mother rotates in, so to speak."
"Anyway," cut in Chrissy, "it seems to me our limited objective right
now should be to make sure that Nancy comes for her mother next
Wednesday. Now, there are only two ways you can make a person do what
she doesn't want to do: violence and deception."
Mrs. G's mouth opened, but Belle was faster. "Of course, violence is
almost never appropriate for anything. And we would never use it." She
smiled at Mrs. G. "Though one must admit the perverse appeal of breaking
some knees —"
"Hiring someone to break some knees," interposed Chrissy.
"To coerce a jerk to do the right thing," Belle continued.
"Only an idiot would want another disabled large woman on one's hands,"
Mrs. G countered sweetly.
"Very true. Which is why we must use deception."
"Deception is simply the other side of the coin of coercion," explained
Chrissy. "Violence and deception. Two sides of the same coin, see?
Deception is simply a more discrete method. Instead of torturing 'em to
do something, you trick 'em into thinking they want to do it!
Much more pleasant that way. Of course, you could move up the ladder of
deception toward blackmail and extortion, which are less refined forms
closer to violence."
"Tough
talk," Mrs. G said, "from folks who ask me to hook their
worms when we go fishing! You children should spend some time in a
decent kitchen to find out what violence is. And there is a third
method — letting the jerk find out where her true interest
lies."
"Unfortunately, in this case, her interest lies in skipping her duty
altogether," Chrissy said.
"Mmmm, I think I smell the duck!" Belle inhaled deeply. "Mom, I think
the duck needs to be checked!"
"The duck accepted his fate with dignity and grace," Mrs. G muttered as
she trotted off to the kitchen. "With no back talk! In my
kitchen..."
Belle turned to Chrissy. "OK," she said. "What do we have here?"
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