Bill and Hillary| Abortion Bill| Presidents| Whales| Job Inteview| Army Hospital
Bottom| Main Page
Page I| Page II| Page III - Lawyer Jokes| Page IV| Page V

This site is the Jokes around the world Part VI. It contains jokes I have recieved from friends around the world. Because of all the contributions I recieved, I had to divide the site in several pages. I do NOT, and I repeat NOT, guarantee for the quality. Hohoho!!

Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House. Hillary wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wake up." Bill stays sleeping. Hillary continues, "Bill, Bill wake up."

Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?" Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom." To which Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom."

Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."

Source: Emeric Forrest

The President (Bill Clinton) was sitting in the oval office looking over some of the new bills which Congress gave him. In the middle of his work, his secretary enters the room. "Mr. President? What would you like to do with the abortion bill?"

Sighing to himself, the President looks up and says, "Pay it."

Source: Emeric Forrest

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do and all the students are restless. The teacher said "Whoever answers the question I ask first and correctly, can leave early today!!" Little Johnny said to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. Iīm smart and will answer the question!!"

The teacher asked "Who said "Four Score and Seven Years ago"?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Jennifer said "Abraham Lincoln" The teacher said "Thatīs right Jennifer!!! You can go!!"

Johnny was MAD!! The teacher asked "Who said "I have a dream"?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said "Martin Luther King" The teacher said "Thatīs right Mary!!You can go!!" Johnny was even MADDER than before!!

The teacher asked "Who said "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!"?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Margaret said "John F. Kennedy" The teacher said "Thatīs right Maggie!!You can go now!!" Johnny was BOILING MAD!! When the teacher turned her back, Johnny said "I wish these women would keep their mouths shut!!"

The teacher heard and asked "WHO SAID THAT??????". Johnny answered "BILL CLINTON!!CAN I GO NOW?????"

Source: Fábio Barbanti

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of the shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

Source: Terri Selby

There were four people who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. One was Christian, one was Catholic, one was a Buddhist and the forth was Jewish. The company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview. Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview the next day, and that he would ask each one of them the same question. Whoever answered the question the best would be the one hired. All applicants agreed that this was fair.

The next day the first applicant, the Christian, was called in. The president posed the question, "What is the fastest thing in the world?" He thought for a moment and replied, "That would have to be a thought." "Why do you say that?" asked the president. "Well, a thought takes no time at all...it is in your mind in an instant, then gone again." "Ahh, very good. Thank you," replied the president.

Next the same question was posed to the Catholic woman. "What is the fastest thing in the world?" She paused and replied, "That would have to be a blink." "Why?" asked the president. "Because you don't even think about a blink, it's just a reflex. You do it in an instant." The president thanked her, then called in the next person.

The Buddhist was asked what the fastest thing in the world was, and after hesitating for a brief moment, he replied, "I would have to say electricity. Why? Because a man can flip a switch, and immediately, three miles away a light will go on." "I see, very good," replied the president.

Then, the Jewish man was called in. He, too, was asked, "What is the fastest thing in the world?" "That's easy..." he replied, "that would have to be diarrhea!" Rather stunned, the president asked, "Why do you say that?" "Well, last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed and I got the worst stomach cramps,and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS......

Source: Emeric Forrest

The general was inspecting the army hospital. He stopped at the first bed and asked: "What's your problem, soldier?" "Haemorrhoids, Sir," the soldier replied. "How do they treat them?" the general wanted to know. "The nurse comes in the morning and brushes them with medication" said the soldier. "Any complaints?" "No, Sir".

The General stopped at the second bed. "What is your problem, soldier?" "Haemorrhoids, Sir." " How do they treat them?" the general wanted to know. "The nurse comes in the morning and brushes them with medication," said the soldier. "Any complaints?" "No, Sir."

Then he stopped at the third bed. "What is your problem, soldier?" "Tonsillitis Sir." " How do they treat them?" "The nurse comes in the morning and brushes them with medication." said the soldier. "Good! Any complaints?" "Yes Sir, I have one. I would like to be the first to be brushed."

Source: Emeric Forrest