DISCLAIMER: We do not own Buffy or Angel (ooh, what a thought) or any of the rest of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss Whedon, WB and Mutant Enemy do.
RATING: PG-13
CONTENT WARNING: Some violence, some smooching. Nothing serious -- about the same as the show, with slightly stronger language. But what really gives it the PG rating is -- horror of all horrors -- the hyena jokes. (Not.)
SPOILERS: Everything, we guess. This story takes place in the Fall of '98. Maybe 'The Pack'?
SUMMARY: Buffy and the Slayerettes spend Friday the Thirteenth fighting a new demon, only this time there's a complication in the form of an unexpected body-swap (remember Amy and her mother in "The Witch"?) between the two characters who desire it least. By the time the story ends, Spike frenches Cordelia at last... Willow finally makes with Xander... Angel socks Giles... and a new demon has come to play. No, wait, it's not what you think... but you'll never know what we're talking about unless you read it!!!
What's Mine Is Yours
A QUOTE TO WHET YOUR INTEREST:
Xander had been getting more and more obnoxious lately. His animosity toward Angel had never been a secret, but ever since Buffy's undead beau had recovered from his not-so-brief stint as the demon Angelus, Xander's commentary was reaching an unprecedented new level of sarcasm. Buffy referred to it as Xander's "innocent-bystanders-run-for-cover, cause-this-flame-war-is-about-to-turn-one-big-city-into-lots-of-little-tiny-ashes" mode and was considerably annoyed, but there was really nothing to be done except hope that Xander would eventually grow up and stop looking at Angel as if he had a neon sign over his head reading "Park Your Stakes Here".
A QUOTE TO WHET YOUR INTEREST:
"Oh, are you having a midnight seance?" Joyce nodded wisely. "I always used to do that with my friends on Friday the Thirteenth."
"That could be fun," Willow said wistfully.
Buffy and Angel both shot her dangerous looks. Willow had been absolutely forbidden by Giles to touch anything even vaguely resembling the Black Arts, but she still seemed to miss spellcasting, as if she had been enjoying it.
"Fun?" Angel said drippingly.
Willow looked guilty. "Well, uh, I meant in the communing-with-murderous-ghosts, toying-with-unknown-dark-spirits, summoning-up-of-soul-eating-demons sense of the word fun, of course."
A QUOTE TO WHET YOUR INTEREST:
"I think that was my grandest exit since I left a bar in January of 1772," Angel said softly. "We were drunk -- we were always drunk back then -- and some hotshot was playing with the torches. Well, actually, it was me. There had been enough fights in the room that the rugs, the furniture and everyone's clothes were all soaked with alcohol. I was showing off, swinging a couple of torches over my head, and I brushed against one of the dangling curtains. The whole place went up in flames, and I ran out onto the streets with my clothes on fire. I set half a dozen other fires around the town before I managed to put myself out in the snow. For most spectacularly idiotic exit, I think that beats this one for first place..."
There was a long pause.
"...but not by much."
A QUOTE TO WHET YOUR INTEREST:
"When this is over," Buffy said, glaring at him, "you're making it up to me."
Angel looked thoughtful. "Microwave popcorn and renting 'I Know What You Did Last Summer', and I promise not to bite you when you hit me for drooling over that cute actress?"
"I didn't hit you for that, I hit you for shouting out style critiques whenever that professional psycho came onscreen!"
Angel turned red and rushed on. "Fine, what were you thinking of?"
"Something along the lines of a romantic dinner..." Buffy looked wistful.
"But I can't cook!"
Momentarily distracted, Willow glanced over at him from her seat in front of the computer. "You can't cook, Angel? But you're two hundred and forty-two years old -- surely you must have at least picked up the theory!"
Angel shook his head mulishly. "I haven't had to cook actual food since I was a kid in Ireland in the mid eighteenth century." He paused; Buffy donned a pitiful gaze. With her current face, the result was downright devastating. Angel wavered. "Well, I suppose I could boil you some potatoes..."
A QUOTE TO WHET YOUR INTEREST:
The library doors burst inwards and Giles, resplendent in Cordelia's designer outfit, marched in toting a fire extinguisher. The vampires began to laugh hysterically. Giles only smiled as he pulled the lever and opened fire. A jet of chemical foam shot out at high velocity. Angel's brow crinkled in disbelief and disappointment -- until the vampires began to scream.
"It burns," Drusilla murmured, eyes wide. "It's blessed..."
Xander stared in amazement at the spectacle of his girlfriend taking out eighteen vampires. "It's holy..." he groped for the proper word, "...holy fire extinguishing stuff!"
"How did he do that?" Angel breathed. The vampires were turning, running, escaping from the painful gunk. It was obviously not as effective as holy water, for none had died, but the supervamps were definitely in pain. "I didn't know you could bless anything besides water!"
"I did," Spike murmured. He was clearly recovering. "Congregation pubbing party, 1926. Can still taste it. But while vampire turncoat you may be, Angel love, I'd appreciate it if you didn't go spreadin' it around!"
A QUOTE TO WHET YOUR INTEREST:
Xander shrugged. "I may be only seventeen years old, but I don't have to act like a child."
Cordelia grinned, and stepped closer to him. "I think I can safely say you're not a child," she assured him. "Now shut up and kiss me."
Silence -- well, not exactly -- for several more seconds.
"Hey," said Xander, straightening abruptly and nearly banging his head on the dangling light bulb.
Annoyed, Cordelia reached up to turn it on. "What is it now?" she demanded angrily.
Pause.
"I think I lost twenty dollars."
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Duck gave me this lovely, lovely award, which I greatly appreciate. I love you, Duck!
...and I got this one from the Buffy in Israel people! Isn't it nifty? I have no idea what it says!
The Brotherhood ][ Last Man Out ][ Blacklight
Behind the Scenes ][ What's Mine Is Yours ][ 3 Thru The Merry-O
Swing Set ][ The Healer ][ Black & White
The Meek Shall Inherit ][ Rosemary For Remembrance
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