12.30.02
Ever have one of those days when everyone looks at you and finds you lacking? Eh, right now I'm pretty unimpressed with myself too. Argument with loved one -- check. Morning crankiness resulting from failure to sleep previous evening -- check. Encroaching cold that has already attacked the rest of Southern California, thus significantly reducing sympathy factor -- check. And all this before eight a.m.!

Felt momentary pride at ignoring tantrums of coworkers; there's no better way to say "Happy Holidays" than "F*ck you, motherf*cker!" De rigeur for this particular office, I know. My forebearance was rewarded by the discovery that That Girl I Work With deleted my folder off the network. I say 'my folder' because it was called PIGLET. (Well, not 'Piglet', but you get my meaning.) My name. Big old capital letters. Folder gone. That Girl said nothing about it; when I found it missing I got the network administrator to find out what happened and restore it from the backup. No idea how long it will remain before another 'accident' claims its life.

Spent the morning doing virtual gatekeeping courtesy of former employee X, who resigned a week ago under a cloud of disgruntlement and shady expense account itemization.

Was needlessly brusque with someone who called main number, asking about job openings. You know, what the hell? You'd think I could spare just a little kindness for someone in that not-fun position. Instead I get that tone in my voice. Immediately after hanging up, realized I should have invited person to fax resume over. Felt bad for rest of the day.

Also, I'm toying with the idea of changing my diet, and I think the very prospect is making me irritable. Today I had two Sausage McMuffins for breakfast, two steak chalupas (supreme) for lunch, and am at this moment heating up leftover Chinese food in the microwave. Thinking perhaps I could, possibly, be eating more healthily.

Bad day redeemed with the knowledge that Sisabet has written a Spike/Buffy fanfic.

12.25.02
Per harmonyfb's request, a brief rundown on my recent meals:

Christmas Eve
Breakfast: because it was a workday for me, I began with the same breakfast I've had for the last couple of weeks -- Fritos, Mountain Dew Code Red and whatever assorted chocolates remain in my secret stash. Perhaps this is why, upon seeing my photo, harmonyfb expected me to be "plumper"?
Lunch: N/A
Dinner: After work a friend of ours came down, and we ordered Chinese food. I had the beef fried rice and I have to say, I don't think the cook's heart was in it. So I was tragically forced to steal the boys' orange chicken. What? You don't want me to waste away, do you?
Additional: half a bag of potato chips with French Onion dip.

Today
Breakfast: microwave popcorn, 'extreme' butter flavor. I sat and ate it while watching the boys play Mike Tyson boxing and some World War II game on the XBox.
Lunch/Dinner: at two o'clock, we went to a lovely hotel on the beach for our Christmas feast. We sat in a corner table with an amazing view -- I'll post pics when I get them developed. Had the butternut squash soup, which was delicious. Some frou-frou soup followed that I passed on, knowing that my prime rib was on its way. Finished up with pumpkin cheesecake.
Additional: After taking our friend for a drive on the cliffs, dropped the boys back home and headed up to the Valley to see the woman who raised my dad. Was rewarded with cake, cream puffs and strawberry-chocolate truffles.

Had a lovely day all around and hope the same for everyone else.

12.24.02
So I'm one of the few people on the planet going to work today, but I don't mind because nobody else is going to be there, and traffic -- or the lack thereof -- will be a dream.

I got bored the other night and put pictures of myself on the Internet. Someday I'll have to explain this to a judge, I just know. Actually, some people knew about the photos and asked (Slappy et. al.) and other people I sent the link to because...well, see above-referenced boredom.

I think my new 'ship is Spike/Tara. Which, okay, is slightly unconventional because of her being dead and all. But so is he, and so was Buffy, and between them and everyone else on the show they could probably have enough for a baseball team. So I'm not sweating that technicality. I just want someone to be nice to Spike. I'm open to Spike/Willow, too, as long as Willow doesn't squeak like a chew toy and blush furiously and say "Oh, Goddess! He's going to kiss me!"

Finally, I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and spends time with the people they love! Take care! And if you're ahead of me on the 5 North tomorrow, please drive at least 75 miles per hour. Thank you.

12.22.02
Have you seen my iron? I'm just wondering because I don't know where it is, and your guess is as good as mine. Here's what I think happened: I used it, and left it somewhere inappropriate like the kitchen counter or the center of the living room. After two or three or eight weeks, I got tired of looking at it, and put it somewhere else I wouldn't have to see it. Well, mission accomplished.

My boyfriend and I got impatient and did some early gift-exchanging yesterday in bed. (Not those kinds of gifts! Get your mind out of the gutter. My word.) But he says he still has three things left to give me. I only have one thing left to give him, and it's nothing earth-shattering. Maybe tomorrow I'll wrap up some beef jerky.

12.18.02
It's been raining horribly here. Usually when I turn on the news and hear the ominous tones of the announcer saying, "Rain pounds the Southland!" it means that there was a drizzle in the mountains. Well, the last couple of days we've had floods, power outages, the works.

The inclement weather made me somewhat apprehensive as I drove home on the 405 last night, but I was handling it. Calm and even-breathing Piglet, that's me. Until I saw the following emergency light on my dashboard:
RH PASSENGER DOOR OPEN

The interior lights of the car went on, as they do when any door is open. After instantaneously aging about ten years, I tried to see if the passenger door was, indeed open as I flew down the freeway at eighty miles an hour. It looked closed. But my backpack was also resting against it, and I worried that somehow it had jarred the door handle or something.

I managed to get off the freeway and pull into a strip mall. I parked, turned the car off and went around to the passenger side, opened the door and closed it again. Beepbeepbeep! The car insists the door is still open. I insist that it is not. The car is implacable. Hmmm, I think. Maybe I need to do this with the car running. So I put the keys back in and start the engine, then repeat the process. Still the car defies me! Then I have a brilliant idea. (You know where this is going, don't you?) I decide to lock the door before I close it. Which I did. I think it worked. Couldn't be sure, of course, because now I was locked out of my car with the engine running. Moron.

I had my phone in my pocket and called the boy. He was about twenty miles away, and didn't have keys. It was dark, and cold, and wet. I took another look at the car.

The driver side window was slightly cracked -- two inches at the widest point. To the west of me was a Souplantation. I went in there and asked for help, and was given a coat hanger. Except I wasn't tall enough to reach the top of the window on my own, and I knew the coat hanger wasn't going to help anyway because of how the locks are positioned. To the east of me was a Marriott hotel. The very very very nice man at the front desk of the Marriott, moved by my plight or perhaps the prospect of me bursting into tears in his lobby, got a chair and brought it out to the parking lot. With him at my side, I stood on the chair and attempted to stick my arm through the opening in the window.

Can I just say, Ow ow ow? The guy from the hotel was actually cringing as he watched me, which was about as encouraging as you might imagine. I myself was doing this whole gritted-teeth, silent-struggling thing as I sloooooowly squeezed my arm through the window. When I got to the elbow the guy was all, "I don't think you should do this." But I was determined. I was focused. And then I thought -- Oh, my gosh! I'm just like Buffy! Watch me as I perform seemingly impossible feats and remain both single-minded and fashion-forward! (Fleece pants are on sale at Old Navy, by the way.) Except for how Buffy was all about saving the world and humanity, and I was just embarrassed by the prospect of calling the tow truck.

Finally I was able to unlock the door, and let me tell you getting my arm back out hurt more than getting it in. I thanked the Marriott man profusely, then climbed inside the car and tried not to have a heart attack. By then the car had decided that no, the passenger side door wasn't open. Honestly, I think the car was just trying to f*ck with my head. It does that. This car is, like, way smarter than I am, and I think it has nothing but contempt for me. It's like the Big Blue of automobiles, if Big Blue had to spend its time matching wits with Stuttering John Melendez.

So, other than a brief freak-out in which I railed on the phone to my boyfriend, "This is your car! I didn't want this car! I wanted a Honda Civic!" I survived another humorous/horrifying experience. There's a spot on my arm that's turning purple, though.

Amazon.com? Can bite me. They just revised the ship date for my dad's massage-chair-whatever to February 6. Obviously I misunderstood the whole "Christmas delivery guaranteed" thing. You know what I think I need? Fried chicken dipped in ranch dressing.

12.17.02
Some other time, when I'm not eating pastina and tending to my injuries, I'll make a long, amusing (well, if you're not me) post about what happened today. Here's a teaser:

Me, standing on a dining room chair at seven o'clock at night in the parking lot of a Souplantation, while the man I had just met repeatedly said, "I don't think it's going to fit. Take it out."

In unrelated news, I got my Christmas bonus, and a raise starting January 1. My boss said very nice things to me as well. Of course, if he could have seen me an hour later I think he might have reconsidered.

12.12.02
"Damn it, Jim! Her self-esteem's rising!"

(A tic works in Captain Kirk's jaw as he surveys the scene: one peppy piglet uploading an 'I've Been Nominated For A SPIKED Award' .jpg to her website.)

"Lower it!"

"Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not that guy who in college told the rest of the Honors Association she was frigid! There's nothing I can do!"

This exercise in silliness was probably brought to you by too much Pepsi. In other news, I sent out two Christmas cards today. By this time last year I had already given up on the holidays entirely, so I'm definitely making progress. Some more Pepsi and maybe I'll buy a tree.

12.06.02
I was crying as I drove to work this morning, and now I'm thinking that the boy might be on to something with his "Please, for the love of GOD go see a doctor." I should note, however, that after I stopped at the Chevron for Munchos and a cream danish I felt significantly better.

It's kind of humbling to realize that everyone, including myself, prefers me medicated. I tend to believe that if I'm functional -- going to work, paying bills, doing laundry -- then there really isn't any problem, and I'm just being a spaz. A spaz with runaway blood pressure. My boyfriend and I will have these conversations during which I list all the things I've accomplished that day or week -- how I'm getting stuff done, okay? And at the end of my tirade he tells me to stop breathing like that, and I realize I'm hyperventilating again. He has this bizarre notion that things don't have to be constantly difficult and overwhelming. Whatever.

Today is my best friend's birthday. Love you, Bean. Thanks.

12.05.02
Why am I still awake? No idea. Did finish the final chapter of The Down Below. And I should really get to sleep now if I'm going to get up early tommorow -- er, today -- and exercise. (We all know that I won't get up early, but humor me. Really, it's the thought that counts.)

12.02.02
I'm trying to get back into the rhythm of blogging. And writing fanfic. And emailing. Also returning phone calls. I think I've become a little withdrawn recently. Just a guess.

I went to see my family for the holiday, and that was nice. I miss them terribly, but I also forgot what it was like to live under my parents' roof. Cue gentle deflections of my relationship status and battles with my brother over the shower. And I can't be certain, but I think my mother wanted me to take an entire baked ham home with me on the plane.

Other highlights of the trip:
- Missed my outgoing flight because I mistakenly thought it left an entire day later. I got where I was going thanks to the lovely and accomodating people at John Wayne airport.
- Consoled two sobbing relatives (separate incidents).
- On a shopping expedition with my best friend, came thisclose to purchasing a pair of leather pants.
- Showed my mom a couple of the web sites I frequent. (Not those sites! Perv.) This gave rise to me explaining the term 'buggered' to her. And I suspect she wants to steal Dr. Dawn's holiday decorations.

I've been trying for a few weeks now to finish 'The Down Below'. It's almost there. I mean, I'm pretty sure. Um...maybe?

April Blog	March Blog	February Blog	January Blog	December Blog
November Blog	October Blog	September Blog	August Blog	July Blog

| HOME | WHAT'S NEW | ABOUT | FANFICTION | BLOG | LINKS | VERBIS | NOMINATIONS |