07.29.02
So, there's been all this discussion lately about WIP stories. And after I stumbled upon 'I'll Fly Away' by starbaby, and reading the bulk of it in one sitting, I understand where people are coming from. I think that I had a totally different experience reading that fic in one large chunk than I would have chapter-by-chapter.
So I'm going to bust my (gorgeous) ass to finish up 'Roundabout'. In a little while, I'm going to be spending my days at a 'high-security terminal' -- i.e. 100 penetration attempts a day, so it won't be online. Which means no Internet access during the day. Curses!
Did you watch 'American Idol' last night? Oh, how I wish it had been that floppy-haired freak Justin had been voted off. Alas, it was not to be. And I'm disappointed by the general immaturity Paula Abdul has exhibited thus far. She always seemed like such a nice girl.
07.29.02
The subject of today's Blog is Cathy. Cathy is my best friend; she's a million different kinds of wonderful. She knows that I hate sentimentality, and that I normally hide true emotion behind an inadequate mask of humor and a voracious appetite for dessert. But I hope she also knows that I love her, and that I will never have a friend as true as she is.
I first met Cathy when I was eleven -- I had just started at a new school. I knew right away that this girl was smart, and cool, and funny, and I basically sidled up to her for the next year. In high school we spent our time watching movies in her basement, because I didn't like bringing friends back to my house (that's for another Blog). Her mother was incredibly patient with the little girl Cathy brought home, whose favorite outfit was ripped jeans and a Guns 'N' Roses 'Appetite For Destruction' t-shirt (a birthday present from my dad. Thanks, Dad!) and who threatened to eat the family out of house and home.
Some of our fleeting obsessions have included: Andrew McCarthy, J.D. Kadd's deep-dish pizza with extra cheese, Bruce Springsteen's ass on the cover of 'Born in the U.S.A', the film 'Internal Affairs', Cadbury eggs (just Cathy), the McDLT (just me -- remember? The hot side stays hot and the cool side stays cool), the Devon Avenue Traffic Vigilante association we planned to form (death to anyone driving under 35 m.p.h. on our college commute route), Kiefer Sutherland (just me -- circa 'The Lost Boys', 1987), Ronald Reagan (just Cathy) and plotting to take over the world via the exchange of notes written on looseleaf paper during Miss Keenley's History class. We still pursue many of these interests, most Bruce's ass and world domination.
We went through high school and college together, and if not for her I don't know if I would have finished either. She gives new meaning to the term 'support'. Amazingly, she always knows how to talk me down from whatever sociopathic ledge I'm currently on, and she's incredibly creative and compassionate. I've spoken to her about things that I never imagined I could say out loud, and she's understood it all.
She's married now, and her husband is a very nice and caring young man. And he knows that if she asked, I would cut him up into tiny pieces and scatter him artistically along Navy Pier.
I would do anything for Cathy. You're the best, Bean.
07.25.02
I am finally feeling better. Tomorrow I hope to be back on solid foods. TMI, you say? Well, it's my blog. Also, getting out of the shower today I noticed my clavicle bones protruding unattractively. I'd say I look like one of those heroin-addled supermodels, except...I'm really short. But my mom says I'm pretty.
I've bought yet another domain and hope to have all my Geocities stuff transferred there soon. I'm also working on The Fic That Will Not Die. I'm also moderating a bunch of forums. And if anyone knows of a good shareware forum software/template/whatever out there, I'd be very interested.
In the same vein, have any of you used that new Curad Scar Therapy? I was going to get it but it costs, like, twenty dollars. That's a lot of chalupas.
07.24.02
Ugh. I am still sick. Is this a test, God? The boy remarked the other day how often I'd been sick since he'd known me, and he had a point. Before we'd even been dating a year I was in the hospital. I'm sure that if I was a person who exercised regularly and whose veins were not filled entirely with Diet Coke, I'd be fine. Sigh...
Have I mentioned that I've been fantasizing about food? Food that I don't even like. Oooh, when I get better I'm going to eat shrimp fried rice and cream cheese wontons, and Caesar salad with lots of dressing and a big old roast beef sandwich with extra mayonnaise. And bacon! Chicken strips and footlong hot dogs ("...I know, dear. They make you uncomfortable." -Maude Flanders) and cheesecake and an Extra Value Meal #3 from McDonald's, or maybe a Double Double from In 'N' Out...
07.22.02
So, I'm sitting here eating my fifteen zillionth bowl of ice cream, which I never thought I could get sick of but color me wrong. And my friend Dave (Hey, Dave! Piglet coughs in a friendly manner) has asked me to be a moderator for his site. Truly, I can't wait. Despite his aversion to fanfiction, Dave is a frequent visitor here. Dave also liked Season 6, but he burned me a copy of Final Draft so we'll call it even.
Yay! I have my laptop back. Sweet, sweet laptop...and it runs much faster and it doesn't creak and groan like before and I'm back on the cable modem and I'm sure I'll get used to XP even though the extra-large icons make me feel like I'm back in kindergarten. I don't care that I'm sick; life is good.
07.21.02
A Letter To My Tonsils
Straighten up, you ungrateful little shits. I haven't slept in two days and I can't swallow. Do you know how lucky you are to be in my throat, and not someone else's? I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't kiss gross people. You could be in Pamela Anderson's throat. Would you like that? Would you like to make out with Kid Rock? I didn't think so. Or you could belong to that Enron guy -- Jeff Skilling. Yeah! How'd you like to testify before Congress? Bastards. Bastards! I should have had you removed years ago.
Do you want to know what's lame? Lame is taking yourself over to the local walk-in clinic, alone, because you're too self-conscious to call up any of your friends at eight in the morning and say, "Could you come to the doctor with me?" But what's even more lame than that is when you go to the grocery store afterwards to pick up the only food you can eat, because the antibiotics have to be taken on a full stomach:
What are you wearing?
Glasses, and your most schmata, four-sizes-too-big outfit.
What are you buying?
Two cartons of ice cream, and this week's US, which features Angelina Jolie on the cover explaining why she left Billy Bob (insert joke here).
Who's in line right behind you?
Three firemen.
Addendum
I would just like to say that it is also very wrong for my parents to be out of town when I'm sick. I realize that I live two thousand miles away from them, so technically they're always out of town. This does not matter. When I'm sick, they should be a phone call away, ready to dispense homespun advice that I will not take ("Gargle with salt water!"). Instead, they are off partying in Wisconsin with another couple. I'm going to write a tell-all book about you, Mom and Dad.
Addendum II
If you're looking for Roundabout...I was supposed to have another chapter done tomorrow. Obviously, that's not going to happen. But as soon as I feel better I'll be working on it again.
07.19.02
So, I'm sick with some sort of disgusting throat ailment. It's probably nothing -- I know it's nothing -- but I got really sick a while ago and ever since then I've been paranoid about every cough and sneeze. It didn't help that I had an utterly shitful day. I was going to talk here about how I hate people, but then I realized that I had already used that as a topic. I suspect I will go through this realization every few weeks or so. There's also no one here to take care of me, as the boy is out of town this weekend. So now I will go snivel into a bowl of Top Ramen, with maybe some Krispy Kreme mini-crullers on the side. I'm sure I'll be much better tomorrow. Unless I die.
07.17.02
Hi. Remember me? I used to post here. I took an impromptu vacation to San Francisco -- the boy had meetings in Silicon Valley, and I had...time on my hands. Below is everything I would like to tell you about my trip:
We took the 5 freeway on the way up. Boringest fucking drive you can imagine. I was all excited because I haven't seen much of California besides LA, OC and the Valley. But this was just like being back home -- acres and acres and acres of flat farmland. We made good time, though.
On Sunday I dragged the boy around Chinatown with me. I'm not normally a shopper -- I don't have the necessary patience or adequate self-esteem -- but I loved the clothes there. After much searching and bargaining, I finally purchased a lovely multicolored brocade/silk lounging robe. Now when I sit in front of the computer eating stuffed crust pizza and reading The Onion, I'll feel all elegant and exotic.
Sunday night we had dinner at Benihana with my cousins. They seemed happy enough to see me, but were clearly far more interested in this Global Positioning Satellite software the boy had that connected to his computer and tracked our progress throughout the Bay Area. Um, guys? Hello? Your cute, dainty little girly-cousin here. Shouldn't you be putting the fear of God into my boyfriend, and threatening him with disembowelment if he so much as makes my forehead crease in displeasure? Oh. Not so much, then.
The boy and I loved San Francisco. It was a much-needed balm to our souls and our aesthetic sensibility to see buildings that were actually made out of brick, and were older than we were. Truly, it's a beautiful and cosmopolitan city. Reminded me a great deal of my hometown, Chicago.
I kept trying to sell my boy to the charming gay fellows we saw, but he was unenthusiastic. Just shy, I suspect. Perhaps a tiny bit afraid of rejection.
We ate at Fisherman's Wharf and had an amazing view of the ocean. We also visited the Exploratorium (see my Links page), which the boy suggested. He is fascinated by science and math stuff, and he got to try all the hands-on exhibits the museum featured. He looked like a little boy. As we walked out, he said, "We can come back sometime, can't we?"
We took the coastal route back home. Went through Monterey and Carmel, and stopped for lunch among the trees and cliffs of Big Sur (and also paid $2.62 a gallon for gas, but I am not bitter). We stopped by Hearst Castle and passed through Santa Barbara before getting on the Ventura/Hollywood freeway and then the 5, thus ending our journey. I am going back again in six weeks' time for a wedding. Can't wait.
07.11.02
I finally have my Internet access back, after a fashion. Different computer, different OS, different drivers...and I'm on a pokey 56K modem, even after I vowed that I would walk the streets of Hollywood before going back to dial-up. The boy has his network administrator working on my old PC, and the admin gives me periodic updates via IM:
*********: Your computer's messed up.
The Oinklet: Yeah, I know. Can you fix it?
Two Hours Later
*********: Your computer's really messed up.
The Oinklet: Right. Do you think you'll be able to fix it?
The Next Day
*********: Your computer's fucked.
The Oinklet: Uh, wow. Is there anything you can do to, you know, fix it?
That Afternoon
*********: Your computer's really fucked.
The Oinklet: (whimpers softly)
And so on...
For about three hours on Thursday night, there was a long whiny paragraph here about how my car needed some repairs. The entry mentioned (not in dollar amounts, but pretty close) how much the car was worth. And it just...bothered me, that I included that. It was in poor taste. So I removed it.
Things really suck when you decide to edit your own blog.
07.08.02
Today, I broke my computer. Well, my TCP/IP software, that is. And because I...misplaced my Win 2K Pro boot disk, I have to wait until the boy brings me home a new computer tomorrow. Tomorrow. And just what am I supposed to do until then? I think the boy will fight me for use of his laptop. And although I am half Sicilian, he is a former pro athlete. So it could be close. I guess I'll go tweeze my eyebrows now. Or something.
07.07.02 - Evening
Has anyone out there used Geocities to host a website? If you have, I need your help: I have never been able to get my folders (subdirectories, i.e. "Images") to show up in my File Manager. I can put files into the folders, but since I can't see them, I can't edit them. So I don't use folders at all. This site is growing every day, and I'm unable to properly organize the pages.
Do you have any tips? Email me. Jesus will reward you.
FYI: I'm thinking of transferring Devil Piglet's Domain over to one of my own sites. I originally started this site as a very rudimentary host for my fanfiction, but because I have too much time on my hands it's grown. It also now includes a significant amount of content that isn't 'BtVS'- or fanfiction-related.
The 'new' site will not be called 'www.devilpiglet.com'. I cannot express to you how much I regret choosing that name back in February, when on a whim I sent off my first story in response to one of Valerie's challenges. It seemed cute and unique at the time. Now it just seems juvenile, irritating and undignified. That's actually the primary motivator for me moving in the first place. I feel like if I look at the name 'Devil Piglet' one more time I'll claw my own eyes out.
07.07.02
Um, so it's one-thirty a.m. on a Saturday night/Sunday morning and I'm finally updating this. Each few taps on the keyboard is punctuated by an enormous, and I'm sure enormously flattering yawn. Nothing much to say, except that on Thursday evening we watched several fireworks shows from our patio. We have a good view, and the neighbors came up as well. It was very nice and friendly. Must get out of the house more often. Now I'm going to re-re-watch 'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.' If I haven't before, let me take this opportunity to proselytize about how much I love that movie. Give me Jay and Silent Bob over 'Gosford Park' any day.
07.03.02
(Brightly) So! Who else watched 'American Idol' last night? I don't know about you, but I cheered when Simon dissed Brian & Ryan, the twin tools. They're evil. Not eeeevil, but evil. Brian is a creepy, totally disingenuous...something. I don't even know who this guy is. I can only hope he vanishes from the pop-culture radar as quickly as he appeared.
Ryan, for those of you who have a passing familiarity with Los Angeles, is a deejay on Star 98.7. I hated him even before he was on this show. Why? All I have to say is, for a man who vocally protested his heterosexuality on the air numerous times ("I have a date tonight, Lisa Fox! AGAIN! A date! With a woman! Did all our listeners catch that?"), I think he blew it with the revelation that he shaves. Down There.
07.02.02
I had an extremely disturbing dream last night, in which the resurgence of communism coincided with me paying far too much rent for a new apartment. I pay too much rent in actuality, but I'll be damned if I move anytime soon. I finally got real furniture, for crying out loud. The kind that doesn't come in a box covered with Swedish writing.
At the theatre today; saw the previews for 'Triple X', with Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel used to be a bouncer on the Strip, and now all I can see when I look at him is every guy at the door of Fenix, Bar Marmont, Miyagi's, Hollywood Athletic, or the Palace who looked at my ID, looked at me, looked back at the ID, looked at me, and then said, "Huh. You don't look twenty-one." Thanks, buddy.
Samuel L. Jackson is also in this new movie, and I have to assume that Samuel L. is supporting an expensive heroin habit because this film has got to be the stupidest thing I've seen advertised since the new David E. Kelley series.
07.01.02
I've finally given in and started a blog, because I'm that desperate to make my opinions public fodder.
Opinion number 1: I hate people.
After over twenty years on this planet, and even while believing myself a good judge of character, I persist in expecting people to behave with some remote consideration of others. You know, 'do as you would have done to you.'
Clearly, I am delusional.
Um...other than that, not much going on. I'm currently testing a theory that humans (or, one in particular: me) can live indefinitely on Diet Coke, chocolate-covered raisins and cocktail wieners. When this web site ceases to be updated, you can assume that the experiment has concluded.
For those of you who only come here for Fanfiction, I'm hoping to finish Part 11 of Roundabout this week. It's lurching along, but right now I'm at the point where if I get two sentences out I congratulate myself and break to watch 'The Simpsons'.
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