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Way Out Rule | Always leave room to add an explanation if it does not work out. |
Clarke's Law Of Revolutionary Ideas | 1) It's impossible - don't waste my time. 2) It's possible, but not worth doing. 3) I said it was good all along. |
Jones's Motto | Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate. |
Bill Jones's Motto | It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money. |
Parker's Law Of Political Statements | The truth of any proposition has nothing to do with its credibility, and vice versa. |
Mr Cole's Axiom | The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing. |
Law Of The Individual | Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing. |
The Ultimate Principle | By definition, when you are investigating the unknown, you do not know what you may find. |
Lilly's Metalaw | All laws are simulations of reality. |
Cole's Law | Thinly sliced cabbage. |
Bucy's Law | Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable person. |
Matsch's Law | It's better to have a horrible ending than have horrors without end. |
First Law Of Expense Accounts | Shared expenses should always be claimed (in full) on each employee's expense account. |
Haldanes's Law | The universe is not only queerer than we imagine, but it is queerer than we CAN imagine. |
Kerr-Martin Law | People are extremely conservative in dealing with their own problems, extremely radical with other people's problems. |
Law Of Observation | Nothing looks as good close up as it does from far away. And vice-versa. |
Lawyer's Law | A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes. |
Katz's Law | People and nations will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted. |
Parker's Law | Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. |
IBM Pollyanna Principle | Machines should work, people should think. |
Law Of The Perversity Of Nature | You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter. |
Law Of Selective Gravity | Light things fall farther under the bench. Heavy things fall on your toes, before joining light things. |
Sattinger's Law Of Trouble-Shooting | It works better if you plug it in. |
Anthony's Law Of Force | Do not force it. Get a bigger hammer. |
Cahl's Axiom | When all else fails, read the instructions. |
Jenkinson's Law Of Perversity | It just won't work. |
Schmidt's Law | If you mess with anything long enough, it will break. |
Gilb's Law Of Unreliability # 1 | Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. |
Gilb's Law Of Unreliability # 2 | Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. |
Gilb's Law Of Unreliability # 3 | Undetectable errors are infinite in variety. Detectable errors are, by definition, more limited. |
Gilb's Law Of Unreliability # 4 | Investment in reliability increases to eventually exceed the probable cost of errors. |
Golub's Law Of Project Planning | Poorly planned projects take three time longer to complete than expected. Well planned projects take only twice as long |
Law Of Full Steam Ahead | The effort required to correct course increases geometrically with time. |
Snafu Equation # 1 | Any problem containing 'n' equations will be found to have 'n+1' unknowns. |
Snafu Equation # 2 | The bit of information most needed at any given time will be that which will take the longest time to produce. |
Snafu Equation # 3 | After you have failed to solve a seemingly intractable problem, a simple solution will be obvious to everyone else. |
Flannigan's Finagling Factor | That quantity which, when applied mathematically to your result, gives you the answer you really want. |
Miksch's Certainty | If a string has one end, then it has another end. |
Boob's Law | You always find something in the last place you look. Because you stop looking. |
Sturgeon's Law | 90% of everything is definitely crud. The other 10% is suspect. |
Pudder's Law | Anything that begins well, ends badly. Anything that begins badly, ends worse. |
Stockmayer's Theorem | If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible. |
Silverman's Paradox | If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will. |
Cardinal Conundrum | The Optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. The Pessimist fears this is true. |
Murphy's Law Of Multi-Lane Highways | After you succeed in changing lanes, your new lane immediately slows down. |
Fagin's Rule | Hindsight is an exact science. |
Inverse To Murphy's Law | If anything can't go wrong, it will. |
Farnsdick's Corollary | After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself ... endlessly. |
Extended Murphy's Law | If a series of events can go wrong, it will do so in the worst possible sequence. |
Gattuso's Extension To Murphy's Law | Nothing is ever so bad that it can't get worse. |
Lynch's Law | When the going gets tough, everybody leaves. |
Evan's And Bjorn's Law | No matter what goes wrong, there is always somebody who knew it would. |
Law Of Revelation | The hidden flaw never remains hidden. |
Langsam's Laws | 1) Everything depends. 2) Nothing is always. 3) Everything is sometimes. |
Benedict's Principle | Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. |
Hellrung's Law | If you wait, it will go away, ... having done its damage. If it was bad, it will be back. |
Grossman's Misquote Of H.L.Mencken | Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, but WRONG answers. |
Ducharme's Precept | Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. |
Law Of The Search | The first place to look for anything is the last place you would expect to find it. |
First Postulate Of Iso-Murphism | Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other. |
Mary-Ann's Law | You can always find what you are NOT looking for. |
Rune's Rule | If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost. |
Coit-Murphy's Statement | It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised. |
Vol I . Vol II . Vol III . Vol IV . Vol V . Vol VI . Vol VII . Vol VIII . Vol IX . Vol X
Since May 02, 1999 12:45pm |
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