Rebel Flag Cremation: Directive to destroy all Confederate flags and symbols and filter Confederate sites on the Internet
By Gen. Ulysses S. Grant
(aka Dr. Grant)
By Gen. Ulysses S. Grant
(aka Dr. Grant)
Attention American patriots and Union sympathizers! Official directive from the commander of all Union Army forces to destroy symbols of the Confederacy which may be in their personal possession.
Friends, Comrades, Countrymen,
Yes, I still own slaves. I am, after all, a very busy man. My slave, ELISA, is an obedient servant who aids me in my work and campaign against that most disparaging and despicable enemy, the Confederacy. However ELISA is not a slave of flesh and blood. ELISA is a slave of another color altogether.
If you have received a directive from ELISA it is because you sent ELISA correspondence, or were on an email list that someone else sent to ELISA. ELISA is programmed to dutifully follow her master's orders and aid me in my campaign to rid the Internet of all Confederate symbols which are deemed obscene, akin to the Nazi Swastika, and anti-American.
Display of Confederate symbols upon the Internet is a form of contemptuous speech and insurrection against our great Union. There is an epidemic of Rebel dementia in our nation and the only cure is to ban, burn and bury all Confederate flags, uniforms, symbols and memorabilia; to prohibit their public display and outlaw their dissemination via the Internet.
It is for the preservation of our great Union that I have issued a directive to this effect: that all Confederate flags, emblems, buttons, banners and symbols be banned from the Internet. This shall not infringe upon the free speech of any loyal American as no loyal and patriotic American would ever dream of disgracing and desecrating our Union by displaying Confederate flags or other Confederate paraphernalia.
My loyal and faithful slave ELISA is sending this directive to all who may suffer Rebel dementia that they may have some hope of cure through the surrender of arms and burning of all Confederate flags and symbols. It is imperative that the disease of Rebel dementia be halted, that those with this mental disorder be rounded up and quarantined in mental institutions, and that Internet sites created and monitored by these Rebel lunatics be identified and filtered from our youth, so as to prevent the spread of this mental illness from generation to generation.
Toward this end please reply with the URL of all known Confederate Internet sites, which are for all practical purposes equivalent to hate groups and computer viruses, in that they serve to spread Rebel dementia. It is further urged that all Union forces and sympathizers urge their schools, churches, civic organizations and associates which have computers that may be accessed by children, to install filters which may be programmed to prohibit access to Confederate and LOSer group sites for the teaching of Rebel dementia is a blight upon our Union and a danger to the security of these United States of America.
Long live the Union and death to all sacrilegious Confederate symbols as is the Saint Andrew's cross when incorporated into the Rebel battle flag or other Confederate flags, emblems and banners! To evoke God or any religious symbol in defense of the Confederacy shall forever incur God's wrath and doom the Confederacy, its sympathizers, patrons and advocates to the fires of Hell and Damnation!
Grant's home page. How to become a lifetime LoSer: what it means to be associated with the League of the South.
Union Army Spy Project: Agent strategy with respect to the League of the South
Certificate of LoSer Membership and forfeiture of US citizenship All League of the South members are urged to voluntarily forfeit their US citizenship and leave the country that room may be made for an immigrant who will endear themselves to these United States of America.
Civil War Re-enactment All those who love the lore of the American Civil War and who have as a hobby re-enactment are urged to denounce the League of the South and to not participate in any activities, events, rallies or other functions sponsored by any LoSer group.
Rebel Nuts Parody on Rebel Nuts for sending, forwarding or referring to all rebel nuts
Rebel Nut Crap Forward this special letter to all rebel nuts and members of rebel nut hate groups
Rebel Nuts wage war with email list to defame, discredit and harass American patriots!