**SPECIAL...THING** March 24: Elfhead Aftermath
March 22, 2003
MORIA, Middle Earth—They may have partied too heartily after the Elfhead extravaganza. They may have gotten too used to winning. They may have gotten too distracted by the scouring of the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays a Banjo,( i.e. the expulsion of the last Elfhead groupies and Caribou puckbunnies from the innards of the arena). Whatever the case, the Caribou's win streak ended with a 2-2 tie against the Moria Orcs.
The Caribou were still shorthanded as Sam sat out the second game of his suspension for the utter destruction of the Witchking's knees. While in the previous game, the team seemed to pull together to make up for his absence, against the Moria Orcs, they just fell apart.
"What? Sushi? Not now, thank you," said Gandalf, who was still a little hearing impaired one week after the Elfhead concert/figure skating shindig.
From the beginning, it seemed as if the 'Bou had forgotten how to count. They received seven penalties for too many...players on the ice, once with the entire team on the ice. Twice, only three players were out on four-player penalty kills.
The Orcs took advantage of the numerous math penalties to score twice on the power play.
"We just sucked," said 'Bou forward Boromir after the game. "We weren't patient with the puck. It was like we couldn't handle that thing. Such a little thing. So...round."
The game would have been a total disaster if not for two late Merry goals in the third period.
"I scored!" said Merry. "But we only tied. Can I still have some oreos?" Merry and the rest of the team all got oreos in spite of the ugly tie.
Gandalf made 20 saves in the tie. Coach Elrond apologized for forgetting how to count.
Things only got worse for the 'Bou as they traveled to the Mosh Pit of Moria. In the dark, they scored only one goal...on Gandalf, as they lost 0-3. Because of the horrendous lighting situation, it was unclear exactly who scored the own-goal. Public relations director Bubbles said the offender has apologized to and been forgiven by his team. His identity need not be made public and the matter is now closed.
"We just couldn't score," said defence-elf Legolas, "properly, I mean. They really need lights in [Moria]. Big lights. Maybe some stained glass."
"They need to go on Trading Spaces [Changing Rooms]," said Boromir.
"No, Piglet is my favorite," said Gandalf.
To add injury to insult, literally, somewhere in the dark, Frodo got whacked in the side of the head with an as yet unidentified animal, vegetable, mineral or equipment. His ear bled all over the place and he, understandibly, yelled a lot.
"OW!" said Frodo. Although Sam had returned after his two-game suspension, he couldn't prevent whatever it was from hitting Frodo in the head.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo!" Sam said. "I'm so sorry!"
"That's okay, Sam. OW!" Frodo said as team trainer Bubbles tried to stitch up his ear. "Ow! Ow! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
This continued until Bubbles gave Frodo a sedative-laced strawberry Icee. "It doesn't really help, but it tastes goooooooo--" said Frodo. The 'Bou forward then received 20 stitches to his ear.
He will remain under observation until Bubbles can confirm he hasn't suffered a concussion.
"We have the greatest hope he will recover," said Strider.
Elrond said the 'Bou will do better next time.
Next up for the 'Bou are the Fighting Uruk-Hai.
Notes: Website manager Bubbles apologizes for the late update. She had to sedate Frodo. The Hockey Speak section will be updated tomorrow.
Merry chases a loose puck.
Yuk.Two words: whitening toothpaste. (photo-enhanced) (Original orc head from theonering.net)
~~~
Notes:
Expansion?? The Middle Earth Hockey
Association is considering expansion for next season. If the league were
to add TWO AND ONLY TWO new teams, who would you like to see? MEHA commissioner
Bubbles will take suggestions through March 29. Email her at sotto-voce@yahoo.com
or sign the guestbook.
There will be a subsequent poll with whichever suggestions the MEHA committee
likes. Please remember this is the MIDDLE EARTH hockey association. The
committee will not accept suggestions such as "The All-Smurf"
team. All members of existing teams WILL NOT be allowed onto another team.
Thank you for supporting the Middle Earth Hockey Association.
Exhibition team chosen!
In a not unexpected landslide, the Harry Potter Adolescents were chosen to play the 'Bou in an exhibition game after the season is finished.
"We don't just mean 'adolescents,'" said special events coordinator Bubbles. "Hogwarts staff and...assorted...uh...things are also invited. I'm just so thrilled nothing weird happened in this poll!"
No date has been set for this game. See the results of the poll here.
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