UPDATE: Bubbles profusely apologizes for the delinquency of the update. Check in tomorrow. Again, lashings of apologies.

NEW YORK—I cannot recall where the idea originated,* but one bright day I decided to try my hand at America's Favorite Pastime. I decided to play for the New York Yankees. With such a glut of players, I didn't think one more would make a difference.

That Steinbrener controls an obscene amount of money.

Beard gets in the way. However, it did keep them from installing me at catcher. They were under the impression that I had a familiarity with the equipment, as my normal hockey position is goaltender. I told them I had waived the right to a mask. Wizards are hardcore. And any day without extraneous squatting is a good day in my book. Anyway, I explained that my beard would wipe unecessary dirt all over the batter's box and make it generally messy.

So they put me in the outfield. I've never done so much waiting and running in my life. While I enjoy scampering after small, round objects as much as the next senior citizen, my beard flaps about in a most alarming way when I run.

Overall, the baseball uniform is much more condusive to physical activity than wizard's robes and a whole lot lighter than that goaltender getup. I got to show off my calves. Usually, they're hidden behind the big hockey pads. This whole tucking the trousers into the socks thing is quite chic, I must say.

The grass is amazing in the outfield. I think even Sam would be impressed.

That Derek Jeter sure attracts the women. I'm sure he and Legolas could have some interesting conversatons.

Batting was interesting. I believe I ought to widen my stance. They've begun to pitch me inside. What cheek. The manager, Mr. Torre wanted me to bunt. Imagine! A bunting wizard. It turns out, however that the impudent pitcher hit me with the ball and I got to go to first base. I resent this bruise.

Considering the beard hinders my swing, I am proud to say I got a double. As for the two strike outs, I blame the beard.

I don't even recall who we played. We did win, however. I think. It was quite the diversion in any case from my day-to-day. I do enjoy trying new things. Ah, well. Back to hockey, I suppose.

*Bubbles knows exactly where the idea originated and hopes that in exchange for this story, he will stop telling her jokes, a request she has pointedly and repeatedly made.

Bubbles apologizes to anyone who doesn't understand baseball for the lack of technical explanations. She's a lot vaguer on baseball than hockey. In fact that whole "widen my stance" bit comes directly from her favorite baseball movie, Major League. Wesley Snipes has sure bulked up since then.

There are buttons available if you want to link to the Dom-Land Caribou.

Did you miss the Harry Potter exhibition game? Click here. All past stories can be read in the News section.

Hey, check out the Which Dom-Land Caribou Player are You? quiz created by our own Shmadyle!

Notes: Want to discuss the Caribou championship? The state of hockey in general? Legolas' hair? Now fans can get together and tawk amungst themselfs at the **Caribou Forum**. Big thanks to Ivy for setting it up and bigger apologies for not putting it on the site sooner!

Notes Ia: Bubbles sincerely apologizes for not replying to any emails you may have sent her, even the odd ones. She is...well, the truth is, she is utter crap when it comes to answering emails. She reads them all and chuckles quite a bit, but has incredible difficulty hitting that "reply" button. Please forgive her.

Notes II: Read about the aftermath of the Elfhead concert at the Merry-Go-Round...Rink...Thing Where a Penguin Plays a Banjo here. Read about the concert here.

Notes III: View all the Dom-Land pictures and how they came to be here.

Notes IV: If you sent me something, see it here.

5) For more hockey terms and...stuff, click on Hockey Speak.

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