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Hi everyone, Bootox here, Ian Bootox to you.
I'll be reading the rest of this poetry for you, enjoy....
Untitled By Louise
Dixon
To
all my friends I now shall boast
I
was a London eye capsule host
I
dealt with those afraid of heights
And
pointed out my amazing sights
Was
friendly, helpful, full of wit
They
loved my job, every bit
From
dawn till dusk I got around
But
now without a single sound
No
shrieks of joy as I reach my peak
As
I'll be gone this time next week
I've
had 300 rides or more
The
exact amount I'm not quite sure
There's
been corporate capsules and
business
men
Small
boy scouts all aged ten
Every
capsule has had a ball
Rotating,
spinning I've done it all
And
shouting what a fantastic town
I
say, just wait, we're going down
Step
your mind inside a capsule
Its
not alright inside
The
doors are closing, clear
Its
going
Welcome
to the darkness
To
escape the sadness
An
amazing flight is your plight
Run,
run, run, fly?
No
comfort, safety in your flight
Round,
round, round
Directions
and facilities cannot be found
Push
the button, watch the telly
All
end in safety found
In
the pound
Jake
Diener
Dreams
of the open air by Alex (tall) Stevens
I
like the look of that balloon
I'll
have to get a job there soon!
It
always looks so nice and calm
Not
like this big funny farm
Look
at the way it floats in the breeze
Up
and down with the greatest ease
I
must apply for a job there soon
That
lovely big, stripy balloon
Thoughts by Alex (lanky) Stevens
As
the piercing sun starts to rise
I
can see our shadow in the river
The
ripples making me shiver
The
horizon glows with places I'd rather
be
Over
there somebody thinks the same
about
me?
Seeing
the towers reaching for the sky
I
start to sigh,
Thoughts
of places to which those planes
fly
Then
I reflect on what I saw
I
think,
Shit
man! I gotta get out more
children,
children gather round
I
am going to tell you a tale that goes
back
To
my time on London Eye
Now
in those days the world was flat
The
Thames was straight and the dome
out
west
Buckingham
Palace stood out east but
Windsor
Castle
did not yet exist,
Both
males and females had no brains
And
capsule hosts were sent insane
By
Lucinda
The
general public by Alex ( long) Stevens
The
general public make my day
On the surface, anyway
In
my head, the voices say;
You
stupid, dumb-arse pricks
The
obese yank with the camcorder,
Trying
to bring his kids in order
Doesn't
know I'm on the border of
getting
a
nervous tick
The
office workers, the office dirt
The
fat legged tart in the mini skirt
Spend
their time trying to flirt
I
think I'm gonna be sick
The
German tourist with a map
Is
this far away from getting a slap!
"It's
the wrong way around you piece off
crap!"
you're
getting on my wick
blokes
from Lambeth, those funny men
get
on board and act about 10
if
I hear that joke again
they
're gonna get a kick
Thank
god we're getting to the end
I'm
being driven round the bend
By
the last rotation I always tend
To
despise those public pricks
Enter
if you dare by Lucinda
Welcome
aboard BA's London Eye
Mind
your step
Walk
right on in and take a seat and let
us
begin
Now
now my friends this ride takes 30
minutes
In
that time I will torture and abuse you
Laugh
at you ignorance
Pity
your looks
For
all of you are ugly shits
One
question to you sir, did you wash this
morning
And
you –you little boy have you shat
your
pants
And
to you kind sir – just one thing
Socks
and sandals are so not in
And
to you all one final thing
North,
south, east, west, do you
comprehend?
Death
- Paul Cutting
Tourists
of every nationality,
Causing
me to lose my sanity,
Building
up, a heated brutality,
Oh
Fuck!, blown it, first fatality.
Asking
me how many times I go around,
Bang,
bloodied dome, sprawled on the
ground,
Nobody
make another fucking sound,
Or
against the glass, your head, I'll
pound.
Two
gone, twenty three to go,
Crack
against the bench, syrupy blood
flow,
People
vomiting, a claret-filled show,
As
they topple, I positively glow.
Can't
see out the window, clots of red,
As
we reach the top, over half a dead,
There's
the fucking dome, I violently
said,
Pulling
one in that direction, ripping off
his
head.
Hacking
the dull bods, a murderous
demonstration,
Killed
them form here and every fucking
nation,
On
their backs, on all fours, a bloody-
flecked
Battersea Power Station.
And
as I reach the platform, not another
sigh
Shredded
torsos, many a blood tom thigh,
Clipboard
sees me as I slide by,
A
complicitous smile lingers in his eye.
Sex By Paul Cutting
Fingers
clasp the bridge of my nose
Head
pounding, mind in the throws,
Of
a tearful lamentation on the fate bestowed,
To
those fine bodied humans, once draped in
purple clothes.
Wheel,
we gave you our sweat, our souls,
our
shit,
our time, our minds, our energy,
true
grit,
Devotion,
emotion, every single bit,
My
fluids, my blood, my juices, my spit.
And
in return, what have we received?
Can
we claim we've been deceived ?
Not
really, I suppose, now its been
decreed,
And
my sanity thanks me, some what
relieved.
I'm
exhausted, depleted, in need of
relaxation,
It's
unfortunate that now I just feel
frustration,
Sat
on the capsule, to be met with
remonstration,
If
I talk, read, or attempt masturbation.
But
I keep thinking about sex on the
wheel,
A
hot juicy thing to make my bins squeal
Every
part of my body she will eagerly
feel
Spurting
like an orange which you
roughly
peel
The
phallic tubes of the wheel have
pushed
me to perversion
The
purple head of a lit Tate offers no
diversion
This
ride no longer a pleasant excursion
I
need to get off, my pants they're a
bursting
But
the only ride I get is on the London
Eye
Truly,
its enough to make me cry
Furthermore,
let me tell you why
There'll
be no more rides for me, as we
say
goodbye
Mummy,
mummy where's the dome?
Mummy,
mummy I want to go home!
Mummy,
mummy I need a wee
Mummy,
mummy I done a pee
Mummy,
mummy I see a boat, plane, bus
Mummy,
mummy why we stop
Mummy,
mummy we at the top?
No
darling we have yet to take off!
By
Lucinda
A
trip from Rotherham for the day
Up
to London, round the eye
I'm
so excited
Got
my ticket
Queue
for 30mins
Then
some turnstiles
This
is hard for me
Put
the ticket in
Take
it out
Then
what do I do?
No
wonder I cannot tell when we are at
the
top!
Lucinda
As
unemployment looms
British
airways booms
As
capsule hosts perish
BA
relish
As
their finances rise
Ye
old hosts do cry
But
….
Future
months will see
BA's
fortunes waning
As
the public starts complaining
And
the hosts will rise again!
Time
to change the record
The
palaces, the towers, the rivers bend,
Will
this mind job ever end?
Even
when I get back down to ground,
I
think of wheels spinning round
The
only way to change this song
Is
to make it up as I go along!!
They're
only tourists, they'll never know
After
all, I'm running this show!
"Hello
people, I am your host.
Don't interrupt now, I know more than
most!"
The
doors are shutting, no where to hide,
I
can't wait to take you for a ride
You'll
notice the windows are bomb-
proof
glass
Now
I'm talking out my arse
What
if there's a bomb-scare, say?
The
capsule grows legs and it runs away!
Honest
Excuse
me sir is that St Paul's?
No,
that's where they draw the lottery
balls
And
see that tower over there,
That's
built in the shape of Tony Blair
On
a clear day you can see the queen
Early
in the morning, that view's quite
obscene
The
other way is the isle of Dogs
Where
the queen got all her royal mogs
There's
the worlds first edible spire
Shut
up mate, you've an outrageous liar
I've
lived in London since I was nine
And
never heard such crap in all my time!
Oh
damn, it looks like I've been sprung
Time
for me to make a run!
Look
mate it's just a summer job
But
if you do complain, my names Bob!
That
capsule by Roger
Oh
no! the doors are closing
Are
we safe in here!
Well,
I guess so, everyone seems content
Could
we have some duty free?
At
the top I used to say
Up
we go to heights unknown
St
Paul's, BT tower and all
We
are at the top!
Eastward,
Canary Wharf
More
like a shuttle at lift off mode
Westward
Buckingham Palace,
well within the trees
And
many more sights as We go round
Southward,
bridges as the river bends round
Is
that north London
No
that's west
I
cannot get my bearings
Well
so do I find as I settle down
We
are about to disembark
Jake
Diener
British
Airways London Eye
The
biggest pie in the sky
All
it does is round and round
But
its not at all sound
The
capsule creaks
Is
all very hot
The
one above leaks
And
doesn't stop
When
we're at the top
Its
at a gallop
Down
below
It's
all to slow
A
tyre falls into the Thames
We
all get fired and come back hired
In
the mind of a capsule host
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I
can't stand it anymore
Round
and round and round
Does
it never stop?
Let
me out, I need out!
I
must get down from here
Where's
the door? I search for the door
It's
locked. It's automated. It wouldn't let
me
at liberty because I don't have control
of
it
Enclosed
all around enclosed
Glass,
what could be worse than glass
All
around the clarity of what I crave and
can
not have.
Dry
land, to walk on dry land
Down,
to get down and stay down
Oh
bliss, here it comes, the platform
I
must get out, I need out.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'm
sucked in again, no friends
No
one to talk to
When
would this ever end
Ringing,
dreadful ringing
What?
Where? Huh?
The
alarm! Its Sunday
A
dream, only a dream.
A
bad dream, a freaking
nightmare!!!!!!!!!
Oops by Jole Midda
When
I came back from holiday
I
was looking forward to getting my pay
I
arrived back in the arvo
And
started work the day after tomorrow
On
the wheel turning turning
And
still in my stomach, the beer was churning
I
felt like I was going to be sick
And
scanning around for the medical kit
I
grabbed and used a fat ladies skirt
And
wiped my mouth with an old blokes shirt
The
smell was getting worse and worse
I
hurled again and used her purse
We
were at the top and going down
Everybody
was starting to frown
The
people in the pod were stating to worry
And
I was praying that the pod would hurry
At
the other side of the pod, an old dear passed out
Causing
her aggressive husband to screech and shout
He
started blaming it all on me
Then
a little girl screamed" I need to go pee"
I
was thinking that things were getting out of hand
Until
a guy in the corner said I've got a plan
In
blue and red stood the man
A
bird, a plane, no it was superman
He
slurped up the puke and the rest of the bulk
And
swallowed it down with one big gulp
It
wasn't the smallest thing he'd done
Cos
it gave him a bout of indigestion
He
farted so hard that it broke the glass
And
ripped a hole in hiss hairy ass
With
all the embarrassment, he flew off to recover
With
a bowl of chicken soup and a Soho lover
No
more of my story it is starting to bore me
Clipboard-
capsule 8
Fucking
need a break!
Lucinda
Why
is that capsule empty?
When
do we see the Dome?
Can
we see Tower Bridge?
Can
we please go home?
Is
that station Waterloo?
Is
that the Eiffel Tower?
Can
we tilt this pod?
Why
is she on her bed?
Where
is Canary Wharf?
Hey
look at all those dwarfs
Why
are we reversing?
Why
is she not conversing?
Look
at all those tyres
And
have you seen those wires?
Just
look at that ladder
Oh
shit- my bladder!
Look
I have seen Buckingham Palace
And
now I see the dome
But
why oh why does she sit alone?
Travis
re-written by Rob
Pondebury/Finan
I
can see my home
It's
a mess but the curtains are drawn
Oh
how we laugh
I'm
a funny guy
But
who the hells that bloke writing
poems?
Why
does he always ride the wheel
Does
he not care we're at 450 feet
Why
does he always ride the wheel
I
think it must be because he has no
friends
Are
we at the top
Oh
my god I think we just stopped
We're
gonna die
On
the London Eye
You
know I think that poet is a spy
Why
does he always ride the wheel
Does
he not care we're at 450 feet
Why
does he always ride the wheel
I
think it must be because he has no
friends
Oh
he must be lonely
God
he looks so lonely
I'll
ask him how many times he goes round
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