It was early in the morning and Keshi ran quickly through the forest to get to the town soon. He was very fast and knew the way perfectly, it seemed like he was flying through the woods. Since his home was so far from the town, he had to hurry or the sellers would be gone when he arrived.

Keshi washed the sweat from the run in a small pond near the market place and when he was approaching, a woman with a soft voice made him turn around. “Excuse me?”

 “Yes? Do I know you?”

“Kafele?” Keshi opened his eyes when he heard his brother’s name. But who was that girl and from where she knew his brother was his questioning. “Is it you? But…you look too young.”

“Kafele is dead.”

The girl’s eyes opened widely and turned sad immediately, her hope to find him was broken. “Dead? Are you sure? You know him then?”

“He was my brother. Excuse me, I have to go.”

“No, wait! Please tell me when and how he died?”

“Ten years ago he was murdered by a man called Ahriman, that’s all I know. Who are you? Where’d you met my brother?”

“You look so much like him…I only met him once, but I remember him perfectly. You are like him, but older than I remember Kafele…he was 15 maybe.”

“Impossible, he died at 12.”

“Twelve! I though he was older…well, I…met him at the forest one day. He saved me from Ahriman and he also saved a baby alas.”

“You're that girl!”

“So you know?”

“He told me about you…he said you were very beautiful.”

“He said that?” She blushed. “Kafele…I’ve waited so long to know he is dead…now what can I do?”

“I gotta go.”

“But wait!”  Keshi left quickly, he didn’t like talking about his brother and finding the young woman was making him hurt. The old memories he’d managed to bury deep down suddenly came out again breaking his heart like it had broken ten years before. “Brother…” Keshi ran faster than before crying desperately because of his brother’s death. 'Why…why you have to come after me again…I have to go on and live…live what you didn’t live'. Keshi fell facing the door of his house crying helplessly. “Brother…why’d you leave me?”

Lal heard the cries and went outside to see who it was. To his surprise it was his dear one. “Keshi! What happened?” He bent down to touch him, caressing softly his back when he did. “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“Leave me alone!” He pushed his hand away angrily.

“But tell me what’s wrong!”

“Go away! Go away!”

“I won’t leave you, you are suffering and I won’t leave you when you need me.”

“I don’t need you! I don’t need anyone! Anyone!”

“Keshi…” Lal decided to leave him till he calmed down, and waited inside anxious to know what happen. It rained hard for hours but Keshi still didn’t come inside. When he finally did, he took off his dirty clothes and sat on the floor washing them slowly. He didn’t say a word or even look at Lal or Kalkin, he didn’t want to talk or do anything at all.

The coldness penetrated the nakedness of his body forcing young Keshi to turn on a fire placing his clothes near so they would dry faster and preparing for himself a warm bath. He stayed still for a while with his tears still sliding down his cheeks, minutes later he began to wash his muddy skin. Lal was still staring at him- confused with his reactions- he didn’t know why he cried or what happen in town, but couldn’t ask either. He wanted to console him somehow and he kneeled beside him to caress his hair and then start washing his back lovingly. Keshi didn’t say a word or push him away, and let him wash his back losing his sight in the air. Lal wanted to give him the love and support he seemed to need, but was afraid of his rejection. But, to see him buried in his pain made him forget any reasoning and decided to give him all the kisses and love he wanted to give him. He quickly climbed inside the tub and sat on his lap, kissing his lips tenderly. “Keshi…”

Keshi finally reacted and moved his head back confused with Lal’s actions. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing you.”

“Kissing?”

“Yes…kissing.” He leaned close to him again to touch his lips once more but Keshi stopped him. “What’s wrong?”

“Why are you kissing me?”

“Because I care for you.”

“You care for me?”

“Very much.”

“I’ve never kissed before.”

“Let me show you.” Lal closed his eyes and started kissing Keshi’s lips with love and tenderness- not even Keshi could resist. He didn’t move, he didn’t know what he should do, but the pain came back to him provoking an arousal between his legs. Lal noticed and kept kissing his body and touched his naked skin hungrily. Keshi trembled and panicked with the awakening feelings the haada’s touch was giving.

“What are you doing???”

“Kissing you, I told you.”

“You're touching me!”

“I’m caressing you. Doesn't it feel good?” Keshi didn’t answer, he just starred. Lal took it as a yes and continued his loving game, and started riding his beloved to make him forget whatever was troubling him. “Uh! Keshi…” Keshi didn’t do much, he was scared of the amazing feelings Lal provoked him, and most of all, of the things Lal was doing to him, but he didn’t complain or stop him, he waited and let him go on till they both reached their climax. “Keshi! OH!” Lal hugged him tight and cried with emotion after his ecstasy. “Put your arms around me. Please, Keshi, hold me.” Keshi held him but still was quiet for a few more minutes till he couldn’t resist the curiosity to know what was that wonderful feeling he didn’t felt before.

“What did you do to me?”

“I made love to you. Don’t you know a thing?”

“Made love? I…I don’t know love. I don’t even know what am I supposed to feel…or less, what should I do.”

“I’ll teach you, if you let me.”

“I just did.”

“Keshi!” Little Lal hugged him tighter and kiss his lips happily. “I am so happy!”

“Why? It doesn’t mean anything, does it?”

“Keshi…your heart is so cold. Didn’t you feel a thing?”

“Yes.”

“What you felt?”

“I don’t know how to explain.”

“At least say if you like it or not.”

“Feels very good…I have to cook.” He stood up with Lal still wrapped to his body and then slid him down without saying another word. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore, nor he wanted to accept that he needed someone- so he behaved very cold with Lal once again.

'He is cold to me. What’s going on his mind? Why is he so complicated? Why can’t he express his feelings at all? What’s he afraid of?' Lal observed him but no answers were received from his dear Keshi so he went over him and lay against his back while he was cooking just like every day, but this time, Keshi pushed him away harshly. “Why?”

“You are getting on my way. I need space.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You are always in the middle!”

“Keshi!” Lal felt sad and ran to snuggle in the bed covering his arms and shoulders with the shirt Keshi made him. He loved it because of the space for his wings and also his beloved had made it for him, it was a gift he treasured very much. “Keshi…” He sighed smelling the old blanket they shared every night searching for his beloved fragrance.

It was late, later than the usual hours Keshi went to bed and Lal wanted him near him, this night more than any other. For the passing weeks they’ve been sleeping together, embracing each other, but this night he was someone else and Lal knew it was because of their previous lovemaking. Keshi had shown Lal his sensitive side and sweetness many times since he'd started living there, but still Keshi had a barrier around him trying to stop his heart from feeling.

“Keshi, are you coming to bed?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to.” His words were cold like the breeze of the wind blowing inside the small wooden house.

“You are going to stare at the fire all night?”

“Yes.” Lal stood up and sat beside him looking to the flames and then to Keshi’s face, the light from the fire illuminated his face making him look glorious to Lal’s eyes. “Why are you here? Go to sleep. I didn’t ask you to come.”

“I know, but I want to be near you.” He laid his head on his shoulder and grabbed his arm tightly. “I love you.”

“Don’t love someone who can’t love you back. I don’t love you.” Even when he was sure he did love him, he still had his ice barrier trying to protect himself from hurting again.

“Keshi…” Lal’s heart broke with Keshi’s cold, sharp words, but even when they did hurt him, Lal stayed by his side. “I don’t care. I want to be with you even if you don’t love me back.”

“Fool…” Keshi put his arm around Lal and pulled him to his lap tenderly. Somehow, no matter how hard he tried to stay indifferent to Lal he couldn’t. “Sleep. Don’t talk anymore. I like silence.” Keshi’s words were softer now and his eyes reflected affection and care to the little creature he was holding. Now he was more like the man who brought Lal home one morning worried for the health of the small pretty one.

“Ok, I’ll be quiet.” Lal played with the long trends of hair he loved so much that fell to Keshi’s chest and curled his finger slowly. “So pretty.”

“Hush.” Keshi put his forefinger on Lal’s lips- Lal kissed it and licked it softly making Keshi look down to him a little alarmed with the sensation of Lal’s wetness. Lal licked and sucked Keshi’s finger while they starred, one confused and the other excited with the taste of the longhaired human skin.

Lal moved Keshi’s hand down his chest asking for a caress from his dear lover, but Keshi just looked at him without moving his hand by his own will since he didn’t know what Lal was asking for. “Touch me.” He pleaded filled with excitement.

“Why?”

“Because I want you to, it feels good.”

“Where should I touch you?”

“Everywhere. Touch me all.” Lal closed his eyes and put his hands to the sides waiting for Keshi’s touch, minutes passed and he still didn’t move, but Lal waited till a current went down his spine indicating Keshi’s hands were finally on him. “Uh! Keshi…” The young human touched his lips with Lal’s trying to kiss him, but only managed to brush their lips together. “Kiss me.”

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