I know that however bad it gets, it can get worse
Just look ahead and think of the coming pain
There will be loss and heartache, this I promise
Wait for it, don't chase it, there's enough for all

People will hate you, they'll point and laugh
You'll do the same, spread the pain around
Count the days, the good ones are few
Think of the good times, no longer with you

Hate yourself, be filled with pain
The guys won't love you, they want your body
You know that however beautiful, you won't be a star
It will be pain, and saddness and lonliness for you

Swallow your pride, else it will get crushed with you
Save up the agony, for a dark night alone
Hate what you've become, hate you can't shake off
It's over, it's gone, the blade's on the shelf

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I look into his eyes and he stares back at me
We're one and the same, love growing everyday
Just leaning over, clutch their hand and feel such bliss
We know when we're together, lonliness, to us, will miss

Every moment we're apart we will repeat in one another's arms
Each day we start together, life having no more qualms
[You've brought joy into my life, that i've missed so very much]
[Every day I am reminded by your gentle touch]

[My life is filled with color, rather than plain old gray]
[I feel everlasting peace, now that you have come to stay]
So we walk along our paths, holding out our arms to grasp
Knowing we are joined together with a love we know will last

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Wallowing in a pool of self-pity
You won't see the good things happening to you
Blocking out all but the worst of things
Dark are the feelings inside your heart

The happy stuff comes in bursts and bubbles
The bad in burst of hate on your soul
The shields inside you are too high for bubbles
And the burst cancell out leaving nothing to you

Apathy and numbness spread through your senses
Making you cold and heartless inside
This leads to hate and hate to anger
All building up to despair surrounding you

The only ting to break it, is love for yourself
You need to grow it inside, get rid of the pain
Find a valve to release all the baddness inside
Letting in all the good things you've been missing

Loving oneself is the first step to happiness
Forgiving oneself is something you've got to do
Bare with the pain, letting others know you have it
And you'll only have good dominating your life

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The blowing of the breaze through the trees
The flutter of the leaves falling down to the ground
The roaring sound of the rain falling outside
There's nowhere to hide fromt he cold start of winter

The whistle of the wind a constant din
The rain forms a ring as it pounds on your umbrella
The wonder of the weather freezing us to the core
The lore of the calender pointing out that it is autumn

It's cold and it's raining, but the sun still can shine
Slowly getting colder as we're futher from our star
Rugging up real good as the heaters warm us up
Dream of spring and of summer as the rain pounds outisde

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Going on and on about all your problems
Listing one by one the pain you've had
Searching your soul for that you've lost
Wishing for more to feed the craving you have

Screaming and yelling and clawing for attention
Telling all who will listen of that which hurt
Living it all again and again
And for what? To stop your life playing out

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The hurt that you're feeling will last forever
Pain inflicted made wounds on your soul
Hurting again as memories resurface
Allowing new wounds to be made by you

Then turn around and see your trod path
See in the distance the pain occuring
Realise it's over, bare path in front
A black hole you'll make to hide the pain

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Hoping for love
Hoping for life
Hoping for something more than a knife
Wishing for passion
Wishing for fun
Wishing for experiances full under the sun
Thinking about me
Thinking about you
Thinking about how we're so through
Wanting something more
Wanting something tangible
Wanting something to fill the void
Hesitating when i know I should move forward
Stepping aside when I should be raising my fist
Contemplating when I should be busy in action
And knowing all this ties a knot deap inside
I step on you when I should offer a hand
Ignore your gaze when you ask me a question
Hating you instead of offering sympathy
A gut wrenching sight while knowing what's right
Hoping I'll grow
Wishing it soon
Thinking how I'll change yet
Wanting to simply end the pain

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I see the blue and the green and the red in your heart
I feel the pain and the hurt deep inside
[Your hatrid hits me like a fast dart]
[But from the pain, there is nowhere to hide]

I see you, and I see your soul
I feel you, and I know you're cold
I hate you, yet you try to hide
I know you're there, why won't you fight?

You love me, I can see in your eyes
I need you, I cannot lie
This is true, I feel it inside
Yet the pain is strong, why do you fight?

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Eating me up inside, I don't know what to do
I question my thoughts, I question myself
Wondering what comes next, nothing to think
To numb my emotions, that's what I'll do

A step at a time, foot follows path
Then I look back, danger follows
I risk more pain, can't let go
Holding on to history and memories

I quicken my pace, head faces forwards
I can't look back, I won't look back
Then a glance and my heart is swamped again
There's no use in this, it's still too close

Time must heal the wounds inside
I though it would happen, that thought was a lie
I trusted my feelings, I trusted my heart
But broken, I am, the truth did hide

No hope for me, I must move on
Won't look back, too close it feels
The heat of eyes, follow me still
But not back, I won't look back

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She had to leave, she couldn't stay
He could not rescue me, still can't today
I have felt loss, I have felt pain
Yet I still try to pull up once again

I find myself, I've got a gift
Still shallow pain, will leave me a bit miffed
Want to go back, try once again
But past won't change, solid it's lain

Stepping from shaddow, stepping from hate
I know I'm cared for, left down to fate
Kowing that trust, beleiving that good
Close on my heals, yet masked by a hood

Goodness will come, bad left behind
Knowing to others, I'll try to be kind
Karma helps me, it's on my side
Knowing that darkness, from me it must hide

Maybe he'll look back, maybe he won't
Out of my system, he will be wrote
Finding things good, keeping memories pure
No more do I, have pain to endure

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I want to feel the tears rolling down my face
I want to mourn, cos mourning means the end of the pain
I want to know that soon my heart won't feel so bad
I dream the pain never happened to me

I know that the pain has come to an end for me now
Yet I still brace myself for whatever is yet to come
There has gotta be something, this is the eye of the storm
I can't accept that the wave crashed isn't followed by more

The pain I felt, well I know I've felt worse
I managed to jump and most swept harmlessly back to sea
All I felt were a couple of jabs to my heart and soul
It's not so bad, so what else is coming for me

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I feel so empty, I've nothing left
All my emotions have been spent
I've felt so much, now the rush is gone
And I'm left feeling hollow and worthless

I'm getting up each morning
Yet I have forgotten why I bother
It was a short time I knew why I did
Now I'm hollow and all hope is lost

I gaze out the bus window each morning
I imagine what it'd be like to fly
I flew, once, in a dream I had long ago
Now I'm on the ground, I'm so heavy

The food has lost all its taste
The books all seem to be empty
The news gives nothing to hope for
I'm lost in a crowd all crying

I'll curl up now and lie here
I'll nod slowly off to sleep
The peace I'll have will be lonely
But my imagination can exist in my dreams

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It's a cold world outside tonight
It's a dark place inside my heart
It's a blank slate on which I'll write
Because it's the beginning where I need to start

It all was great when I was a kid
I had all I needed, a bit spoilt I was
Then I started to grow and things all changed
And nothing, again, was the same

School closed down, friends moved away
Hit puberty, felt angry every day
Dug at my skin with soft fingernails
And none of my friends were real friends, I felt

High school began, bloody big place
How life eroded, parents separated
I got sad, my compass was sharp
Dad almost died on a plane back home

Didn't know why I was still alive
But Mum, she died, so I wasn't allowed
I signed a paper, friends signed it too
And floundered, I did, in this dark, dark world

My world stayed dark, the pain kept on
I felt so dark and lost at home
My friends reached out, but I couldn't reach them
And I cried and cried myself to sleep

High School finished, not a day too soon
Uni would start in many months time
A new life awaited me and I was excited
Then it began, and my new life crumbled away

Lived at home ... alone, I did
Travelled to Uni on a bus every day
I took my classes, even mangaed to pass
Then my life flipped itself, yet another time

Grew dark again, stress built up
Errupted, and I left, was another spark
Finally settled in, relaxed too long
Head dipped down, and down I was gone

Now I take a tablet, every single day
Lucky it helps, I can bare another day
Building up the walls, they are getting taller
Yet I know that again, one day ... they will faulter

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Paint on my heart a pretty picture
Bring colour to my soul with song and dance
Write beautiful words and poems upon my skin
Bring love unto me now forever

A single kiss could melt my heart once forever
A hug to keep me warm for every winter
A look and a laugh will make me smile
Touching me, deep inside where footprints remain

Alone with such memories, know you're loved
Experiencing such things is a gift
To feel that you've lived to this, aspire
And know, in your heart you will be missed

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Am I doomed to be lonely in the end
Emotions change so quickly, won't they last
Would they last long enough to settle down
Won't I ever find a lover I could forever trust

I wonder now if what they say is true
About those who lose too much so early in life
To push aside others before they get too close
No-one's yet managed to get that close to me

Sure I'm open, but only to some
Friends who've earned it, and strangers who'll stay that way
No-one has ever got to know the whole real me
Just parts given to those knowing me

Yet there are two who know me best
Know me so long, or recognise my depth
They seem to GET me, but I don't know how
When i only give out parts, never the whole me

So will I end up alone at heart
Or will there be others to slip through the cracks
Can a guy ever find that way
Or will I be lonely .. at the end of the day

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Haven't you heard what they've been saying lately
About how life is a waste of time
Choosing from options, making things not fit
Ignoring laws while the non-living follow them

People doing stupid things detrimental to existance
Thinkiung about why they are here
Picking up a weapon to kill another
Just so that they can live their own way

You wouldn't think that they thinkers would be stupid
Carrying out actions detrimental to all life
Harnessing powers to destroy all life
Life exists to evolve and destroy life

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If you pick apart a feeling, if you think too much
What you will have left won't amount to much
Emotions are there to hold and live
And at the end of the day, that is you

An introvert will question these emotions
They'll undermine themselves and their thoughts become them
Searching for the answers which are made by them
And what is left is their feelings about life

If you consider an emotion, why it's there
You'll find that you made it, to relate to the word
A non-physical reaction, to keep in touch
To not live in isolation is the key to your feelings

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Angels crawl over my skin
Searching for a way in
To help me, to direct me
To lead me to the light

The devils tunnel through
They make me do bad things
they hurt my friends and family
They're evil and they're within

If only I could re-take my body
If only I could re-take my soul
If only I could find my direction
To take my life back again

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I can no longer breathe
I sit and wait, alone inside
I think that I am broke
I'm hurt and pain is scoarching me
I sit and stare ahead
I don't see anything, but I hear the voices
I sit and I'm alone
I am crushed by those surrounding me

Is this how I will be forever
Always alone surrounded by people
Searching for one to give me entry
Back into the world of warmth and peace inside
Watching this world from so far away
Feeling so cold and lonely everyday
Sitting here so alone with no air to breathe
Always alone and cold inside

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Give me strength to be as strong as I could be
Give me the power to bring dreams to life
Give me love to fill the world I hold
Give me hope to have these dreams fulfilled

One day I'll be so strong and powerful
One day I'll be surrounded by those who love me
One day I'll hold power over those who pushed me down
One day I'll hold the world in my small hands

If I could have these things today
Maybe I'd be a better person inside
Maybe it would corrupt and break my soul
But give me strength and the opportunity to try

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